/trek/ - Fully Functional Edition

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CBS is gearing up to give DS9 the HD treatment for its exclusive streaming service. You read it here first.

fuck seven (not literally)

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Fuck you Jesus.

Rikker- wants to fuck agender freaks
Crusher - wants to fuck Scottish ghosts or brain bug parasites
Geordi - wants to fuck holowaifus
Tasha - wants to fuck robots
Is there any humans in TNG with normal sexuality?

To boldly stay where no one has stayed before...

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What exactly did he do wrong?

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He wouldn't let Terry Farrell work 13 instead of 26.

For goodness' sake, Rick, she was asking you to pay her LESS money. A stupid bean-counter like you should embrace a deal like that!

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It's because she was a popular character (more than likely for her body, not her acting skills), and in television, the audience wants to see their favorites every week.
It's like if Jim Parsons wanted Sheldor Bazooples to be in fewer episodes, it just wouldn't work.

I also just checked Memory-Alpha, and from seasons 1 to 6, Terry Farrel was in /every/ episode except "The Begotten" and "In the Cards".

But then we never would've gotten cute Ezri Dax. I'm just sad she didn't get more than one season.

This is one of those dresses that only works with small boobs. I can't imagine someone like Hayley Atwell attempting to make her funbags float like that.

Ezri a cute! Slagzia a shit!

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>Willing incorporated stolen elements from Babylon 5 into DS9
>didn't give DS9 an epilogue that rounded the bases and reinforced Roddenberry's ideals for trek
>Didn't kill off Jadzia in a way that made any kind of sense, she could have and should have died in the earlier episode 'a change of heart'
>Inserted ezri dax filler episodes into the last season to introduce a new character that, while cute, was more or less pointless and annoying
>Completely ruined Voyager by not committing to a single idea that it was founded on. Failed to keep consistent writing on Voyager so much that the series never crystalized into anything more than decency.
>killed star trek ultimately
>fucked up the TNG movies, every single one was flawed, including First Contact.
Ideally, the first TNG movie should have been a Kirk/Picard buddy flick (but it wasn't), the second should have been an action movie without any time travel where Picard and Sisko work together against the Borg, the third should have been a TNG standalone that actually made sense, and the fourth should have had some Voyager crossover (more than just a single scene)

For those of you who didn't see my review of WWLB earlier, let's recap why DS9 has been confirmed the worst trek

In the documentary they
1. Dedicated time to feminism
2. Dedicated time to police brutality
3. Dedicated time to black fathers
4. Dedicated time to patting themselves on the back for being one of the first shows to have scenes with only black characters
5. Dedicated time to muh racist drumpf and racist white guys
6. Dedicated time to LGBT representation
7. Had an entire segment where Ira pauses the entire movie to have a moment where they talk about how the show didn't have enough sexual identity propaganda
8. The big nosed guy (obvious jew) wore a shirt celebrating communist terrorist Che Guevarra and likened Kira to him
9. Had a moment to talk about how poverty is all the Republicans fault for not caring and not being socialists
10. Dedicated a segment to reveal that Garack is gay and that (((Behrs))) biggest regret was not making him and Bashir a couple
11. Almost all the "fans" interviewed were disproportionately female or nonwhite despite the fact the majority of STs audience are white males

I think that about covers it. Overall I rate the movie cringe and bluepilled. It spent more time congratulating itself for being progressive propaganda than it did discussing the show. Utter waste of time and only confirms what we've all known, that Ira Behr is a hack and that DS9 was, is and forever will be the worse Trek. What was most interesting to take away from the documentary is that DS9s move towards serialization, darker themes, focus on soap opera drama instead of exploration changed the established ST structure opening the floodgates for STD to do all the same things. DS9 is responsible for STD and the death of Trek.

I like DS9 and feel like this would only damage it for me
Oh BTW Garak is pretty clearly a sexual tyrannosaurus who will stick his lizard cloaca into whatever kinda hole. Garak and Bashir have some very clear sexual undertones not unlike Picard and Beverly but no one, ever, wanted to see more than what we got.

Oh I forgot one of the major ones!
He hated how much people liked Dukat (literally space hitler in his mind), that they sabotaged their planned storyline for him, and bumped Damar into his position of redemptive hero and instead did weird soap opera bullshit with him and the bajoran space pope

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Trek won't die

Where's Bash gurrl?

From what I've read Andrew Robinson intentionally played Garak that way. But the writers wanted less "any port in a storm" sexuality.

Probably having an autistic shitfit

anybody wanna dump their Bash collection?
My laptop died :(

The galaxy of Star Trek became way too small, way too fast, and you're spot on about them putting politics over exploration.
The thing I liked most about all of Trek was the first half of the episode intros to TNG. It made space seem vast, and unexplored.
I need a new show that can recapture those feelz.

Proving once again that the anti-SJW is more triggered than the SJW.

I feel like Garak's character worked well the way it was played. He felt like a murderous assassin/spy who could potentially rape you violently for no reason. He felt entirely dangerous in every way, but at the same time you kinda liked/respected him, but wanted to keep a safe distance.

I just wanna say that I love you guys.

Agreed. I also think they used him just the right amount. Every time he appears on screen you know it's going to be a good episode.

Picard is my captain.

Have sex

>if you must know, I am not menstruating right now and according to my ovulation calendar and this urine test I took one hour ago I am at the peak of my fertility. My womb is ripe for the occupying, if you catch my drift. I want you to occupy my vagina like my people occupied Bajor. I want to mine your penis for sperm like Gul Dukat used this station to mine uridium. That's a metaphor. Get it? I'm not even sure if our two species can produce viable offspring, but let's give it a whack because my eggs are fucking ready to be basted in any semen, even yours, you lowly human.

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Which one? TNG, movies or Bad Robot?

The one thing Babylon 5 definitely had over Deep Space 9 was the greater sense of serialisation and it's willingness to have the weird alien side characters be so integrated into the main cast. A Deep Space 9 with a greater sense of episodes having consequences and the likes of Garak, Dukat, and Quark getting similar screen time to Londo and Gkar would have been the best sci-fi show ever made.

STD is still worst trek and the shortcomings of STD are significantly more vast than anything established by DS9.

What's even the point in doing a fourth JJTrek movie if STD copies everything from it, like shaky cam, non-stop action, fast-paced quips, and the sets?

Dukat did nothing wrong.

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inb4 STD or Picard show retcons the Cardassians to be straight-up reptilian (including laying eggs) because that's more "realistic" than reptilians with mammalian characteristics, applying Earth logic to made-up alien species

Imagine being so unbelievably assblasted you sabotage your own creation as a giant fuck you to the fans of your show that you now hate with the fire of a thousand suns.

So good news and bad news

I was in this movie!

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Pretty much all of these were extremely brief, jarring and annoying but not substantial enough to ruin anything. Also #9 didn't happen as far as I remember, and number 3 is actually a good thing.

B5 did elder race aliens properly, trek just has humans with makeup at the same tech level, then a giant power gap, then godlike beings.

I tried watching B5 and the aliens are what made me turn it off. Even the Ferrangi weren't as obnoxious.

The mystery is why he works so well, aside from the performance. As for his sexuality, Garak could be any sexuality for all I care, but I wouldn't want to know because that's just more information about him that should remain secret.

O'Brien

yellow fever

The time travel plot was the best part of First Contact. The Borg stuff where Picard plays action hero is lame.

What was so obnoxious about them? The first 2 seasons are sort of bad anyways.

How far did you make it? Season 1 is the roughest if you don't like the alien culture stuff. Minbari are pretty cool for space elves, and once the second shadow war gets underway the intrigue starts picking up.

Hi BF. You're my favorite.

>(more than likely for her body, not her acting skills)
She was a fine actor. I don't know why you felt the need to put this. It's not like she was constantly stripping off or wearing revealing stuff.

>the majority of STs audience are white males
Liberal white males.

>properly
Yeah, it sucked. Nobody liked B5 except indiscriminate nerds.

Be honest. Do you think it was her characters story or her acting ability that made her so popular, or because she was the most attractive woman on the show?

The only part that made me really cringe hard was the montage of Tump, Charlottesville, and police brutality in the middle. The rest of the virtue signaling was tolerable, but that was a huge wtf moment.

Ok so BF is confirmed female now but is VF a girl or just a very effeminate gay man

WHERE THE FUCK IS THE DUBS CONTINUUM

Right here friendo

It was all three, why are you pretending she was somehow mere eyecandy because you read on Wiki that she was a model before she acted? She's not a Troi or Seven-level obvious pin-up, she spent the whole time in normal uniform.

If she didn't look the way she did she would be half as popular and that's a fact

>montage of Tump, Charlottesville, and police brutality in the middle
Please tell me this isn't real, even STD isn't that bad

Who needs boobs with a midriff like that?

Why would you say this about such an interesting and well-acted character, in a show where another woman walks around in figure-hugging uniforms and red lipstick?

Why are you people only just realizing that Trek is liberal? It was always liberal. They were claiming it ended racism in 90s documentaries. By the standards of the 60s, it was SJW as fuck. Are you all just really oblivious teenagers?

>Jadzia Dax
>interesting
Every time she talks, it's about how interesting Curzon was.

It has been mathematically proven that Ezri episodes mention Curzon more than Jadzia episodes.

>well acted
Lmao even rene auberjonois said she couldn't act for the longest time in the doc. She had to beg avery Brooks to turn down his acting ability so she could keep up with him in scenes they did together. Dont pretend like she was any good for the first 3 seasons

>she was the most attractive woman on the show?
>implying

Curzon is part of her characterisation. The whole concept is fascinating, and Farrell performs it brilliantly.

>She had to beg avery Brooks to turn down his acting ability
Fucking lmao, shouting all the time is not acting

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Brooks is the ham of all time, so I suspect she was just being polite. Fuck Auberjonois, character actors are always salty about the acting of attractive people, and his performance of Odo was far more monotonous than Farrell's as Dax, even if he was raising his voice more to do it.

Who cares, you're not going to stick your tiny dick in anyone or anything

FIRST IMAGE FROM STAR TREK: PICARD

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This is going to be awful. This is going to be like the later Columbos where they have some young cocksuckers around to patronize him.

It's either gonna be like that or they're gonna The Last Jedi him and have him be a bitter old man.

When I was a virgin, images like this were hot. Now I know what pussy feels like, they frustrate me. I will never be inside that woman. It's not right.

Yeah, and coming out with bigoted shit that's totally out of character and shits all over TNG, because they're the new thing. Although TNG managed to make something liberal, forward-looking and 100% Trek IN THE REAGAN ERA, something which none of the current team would be able to do.

twitter.com/KateAurthur/status/1128757437081821185

It's going to be a re-run of the Drumhead, except Picard will now be Admiral Satie.

Holy shit, TBBT is STILL in production? Sheldon looks like DEL BOY now

He'll shit on the powerful black woman character they added to the show (Michelle Hurd is the actress)

Horribly credible.

oh nonnonono

So the documentary is SJW, not DS9 itself

Yes. They almost never talk about the show and spend the entire time talking about how this low rating show totally changed the world

Instead of comfy bts and nostalgia you have a ham fisted attempt to retroactively make DS9 reflect contemporary politics. Trek has always been liberal and progressive, but a show that ended over 20 fucking years ago has no bearing on the current cluster fuck.

Its true. Some things just aren't universal and history never repeats itself.

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Just tell me when you appear so I can pause and jerk off

During the feminism segment early into the movie

it's a blurry image but the uniforms already look better than anything STD shat out for us

twitter.com/RobOwenTV/status/1128757637430951936
the one on the right just straight up looks like the cadet uniforms they used on DS9

STD is just taking cues from fanfiction at this point.

"Michael Burnham is a Mary Sue fan fiction character" shouldn't be a controversial opinion, because it's absolutely true. I don't know why people get so butthurt by it.
>she's Spock's sister out of nowhere, like how fan fiction authors make their OC Donut Steel Kirk's granddaughter or Chekov's cousin
>she's always good at what she does, even when she fucks up
>both of her "moms" have been powerful figures
>the fate of the entire multiverse always rests on her

*all four of her "moms"

Post BF in the documentary

Just pirate it and find it yourself. Not like I or anyone here has the movie on hand to take screencaps of.

>TOS font
>not the TNG or TNG movie font

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Never gonna happen. It makes to much sense - so those idiots won't do it. Same goes for VOY. I gave up on a Blu-ray edition some time ago... When I heard that sales for the TNG Blu-ray's were awful. Plus, it would take years to digitise the series. I'm at the point of hoping for a massive failure for every Star Trek series helmed by Kurtzman and his cohort. Hopefully he will be removed, we'll have a couple of years pause and then try to make an actual Star Trek show, set decades after ST: Nemesis.

is it really just called "picard"?

god thats awful

Yes.
And yes.

Why can't they leave anything alone?

I am optimistic, can't wait for Picard to dab on the Vulcans.

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Will he be in a futuristic wheelchair? Then they can just cart him back and forth for any X-Men flashbacks scenes without changing costume.

They're just facing the fact that he's their one selling point.

Post your dream directors for the Picard Show
>David Benioff
>D.B Weiss
>Akiva Goldsman
>Alex Kurtzman

It's already happening, it was confirmed on the documentary. 15 of the 2 hour 20 minute runtime was dedicated to shilling the HD release

Michael Bay

>George Lucas
>Uwe Boll
>M. Night

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They're creative locusts. It's expensive and hard to create new. It's just kind-of expensive to rehash existing things but with an "updated" vaneer to it.
They just consume consume consume.

ironically, it just makes people look at the old shit more

To idiots, sure

I'll have to rewatch it but I thought they were just pumping up the little HD work they already did

Ain't that the truth. "They don't make it like they use to" becomes truer and truer as I get older.

It's the nostalgia card. The show is made by Bad Robot people.

Holy shit. Jews just ruin everything.

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WEW

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Vegas odds of Brent appearing on the Picard show?

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desaB

Picard is already doomed to be shit because it's being made under that alternative licensing agreement that Generations and the recent movies were under that mandate that everything needs to be legally distinct from the original series so that both CBS and Viacom can get slices of pie in terms of merchandising.

As long as the creative minds behind the show are hobbled by these idiotic limitations which mandate arbitrary degrees of difference for legal reasons the show is doomed to be a trash fire.

this guy gets it
it is almost guaranteed to be dogshit

Midnight's Edge please, you're just as trash as the folks in charge of STD.

*drops cloak*
*fires full spread photon torpedeos at Cardassia Prime*
heh... nothin personal, lizardbrains

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io9.gizmodo.com/star-trek-discoverys-version-of-the-enterprise-had-to-1825276401

I guess they don't want there to be any confusion that Picard's in the show, lol

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from gizmodo
>“After Enterprise, properties of Star Trek ownership changed hands and was divided,, so what was able to cross TV shows up to that point changed and a lot of the crossover was no longer allowed,” he said. “That is why when JJ [Abrams]’s movie came along everything had to be different. The alternate universe concept was what really made that movie happen in a way as to not cross the new boundaries and give Trek a new footing to continue.”

From SR:
>Paramount is the wholesale owner of the Star Trek property; Paramount in turn was owned by the Viacom corporation, which also owned CBS. In 2005, Viacom underwent a corporate split: a new Viacom was formed and the ownership of Paramount was transferred to it. The previous entity called Viacom was renamed the CBS Corporation. When this occurred, ownership of the Star Trek feature films made before 2005 was transferred to Paramount but ownership of all of Star Trek's trademarks and intellectual properties now belonged to CBS Corporation.

>However, in order to make any new Star Trek movies or television series, Paramount has to license the rights to Star Trek from CBS. This is what happened when J.J. Abrams and his production company, Bad Robot, embarked upon making his Star Trek film; Paramount and Bad Robot licensed the rights to create an alternate Star Trek copyright from CBS, in part to enable Abrams' desire for his film to be about a younger version of Kirk and Spock, which would radically change established canon. Hence, Abrams created the Kelvin timeline, which allows him and his successors like Star Trek Beyond's director Justin Lin to do whatever they pleased with their version of Star Trek, since the results of this creative freedom would not conflict with nor infringe upon the canon established in the Prime timeline

I don't really get this. It seems like the alternative licensing was created to JJ could stray from the prime universe, not that JJ was forced to.

YEW-CHEEN CHEF-FAW

Who /craftservice/ here?

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it's so JJ trek wouldn't have to give merchandising revenue to CBS for the new shit
It is literally 100% merchandise related because people still buy overpriced tribble paraphernalia

I hate living on this planet.
Okay yes the AGT uniforms were ugly, but to go
>they're ugly BECAUSE they're from 1994 lol!!
makes me consider self-harm.

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>Oh BTW Garak is pretty clearly a sexual tyrannosaurus who will stick his lizard cloaca into whatever kinda hole. Garak and Bashir have some very clear sexual undertones not un

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OH M GEEE! THEY SAID GARAK WAS ACTUALLY GAY! BASED!

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apparently you didn't rea-

that's what you look like fag

anyone got a link for the DS9 Doc?

>that's what you look like fag
Holy shit. Literally found the discord tranny.

imagine being this upset by a jk rowling announcement

>mocking people means you are upset
>tranny logic

i would unironically fuck the shit out of this woman, I find her incredibly hot. And she lets me have a bf on the side? sweet jesus it's the perfect relationship...

Look, it's Noonday Precipice!

lmao tranny cope

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marina sirtis is a child abusing pig

All Good Things future is changed because Picard joins the poker game.

Welcome back to /trek/ friends. Let's all congratulate Jess on her tremendous accomplishment.

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>appeared in movie
>didn't get paid for her labor
>movie makes profit
>claims to be socialist

She is a retarded whore. Literally jannie logic.

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star trek

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why is /trek/ so obsessed with trannies

Unless it was part of a JOI/humiliation video I'm not interested.

If you watch the movie, it turns out that she's female (female).

chick with a dick
what's not to like?

keep believing that

What if the new Short Treks are out but no one knows because everyone unsubscribed from All Access after Discovery ended?

Sweet jeesus mother of pearl

shes not that great, 7 out of 9 at best.

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it really make a sound?

I fucking hope so

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What's xer voice like? Feminine of husky?

>no monica wife
honestly just destroy me

At least this time it takes place after all the other series so it has an excuse to look different.

No, everything has to look the same forever.

A disgusting degenerate, but biologically female.

Of course you would, you're an ugly betamale. But even a girl like her wants a hot bisexual alpha

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my gf thinks im attractive and i have a 8in penis so i think i could pretty much get any pussy or dick i wanted

stay jealous incel

What do bags of sand feel like?

Triggered incel

Trannies don't count as "gf"s

she's not a tranny she's just a swede

Muslims don't count as gfs

no no, she's white but I'm brown

Browns don't count as people and therefore cannot have gfs

Welp, you have him there.

I'm only half brown :^)

Half a subhuman still isn't human

got him, Pally

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