What crazy denomination was this guy's church part of...

yes it is terrifying. It mostly infests fly over states and then spreads everywhere else

Islam is terrifying. Not people larping as Christians.

when did I say islam wasn't terrifying?

As a kid i attended a midwestern evangelical fundamentalist church. They preached that the rapture was going to happen during our lifetime, and that hell was a literal place where you burned in tar forever. Some of the more manipulative pastors were a lot of Dano's character.

a lot like*

protestants are literally insane

islam is based

kys faggot, your lies are sins

I've been around various sub denominations of the Christian faith my whole life and protestants really are the bottom of the barrel.

Christians and Lutherans at least have their fucking heads on straight, protestants let their preists fuck and impregnate women and it's just another day in the life for them. They're literal heretics

just standard americano evangelism

Oh yeah you caught me, I totally lied about my retard tier parents forcing me into a cult as a kid. Well done.

I still have a cult brand on my right arm from when they branded me, is that a lie too? Did I just fucking make that up too?

lutherans are protestant you idiot

Looks like one of those brazilian evangelical crazy people

luther was cool but i bet if he took one look at people he helped create he would go back in time and kill himself

>is that a lie too? Did I just fucking make that up too?
absolutely, post picture with timestamp nerd, I'll be waiting. Your whole goal is to slander The Church.

they also believe god predestines people to hell

Show it

Guess again stupid, the Christian-Catholic church is the one and true church. Every other denomination has a nice little eternity of hellfire waiting for them.

Hope marrying that slut was worth it, "father"

Post your cult brand

mashallah

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Why, so you can send your little Protestant hit squad after me? No thanks freak, enjoy an eternity of hellfire

Yeah, not too intimidating coming from a boy-fondling sodomite who licks the feet of Muslim demon-worshipers.

Pentecostalism

>muh head canon is more important than Jesus' teaching
All I can say is cringe

When the fuck did rid you religious fanatic types start coming here? US election I'm sure.

Cringe

Based. Bismillah

Shouldn't you be out perverting the catholic mass and giving out communion to people with mortal sins on their souls? Or what, you're taking a break from fucking one of your 6 wives to shitpost on Yea Forums lmao.

St. Peter was right about you monsters, black devil pope worshipping pieces of garbage. There's only one true church, you're not it. End of fucking story. Anything else is just hot air from a guy who is going to burn in the hottest circle of hell for all eternity.

It's mormonism, it fits the time period of the film

>cuckolism
It’s even worse. lmao keep worshiping your idol, the pope

sunni subhuman

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Gross!

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Oh sorry, did I not mention that earlier? those who falsely claim to be the true church burn the hottest and the longest in the worst circle of hell, you're right up there with rapists and murderers because you've been trying for centuries to pervert and subvert the one true church of Christ and deep down you know it too, you're on the clock pal. One of these days you are going to die, and you're going to have to face God and explain to him why you made a complete and utter mockery of his teachings and his true church, and you'll be crying like a bitch when it happens too. Fraud faggot motherfucker

The one true church is immaterial, not the Vatican

Classic

My old church would bring us lunch every Sunday. It made me feel bad because I was poor and I never gave money when they passed round the plate.

Catholics literally worship an old pedophile in a funny pagan fish hat above Jesus Christ and all thwir doctrine is extrabiblical, what the fuck are you even talking about retard lmao

Keep worshipping a false idol, that worked out just swell for the ancient Egyptians. What's next, you're going to fucking hide a snake in a staff and throw it across the room like some sort of hack second rate children's magician? Get the fuck out of here and repent before the one true God actually decides enough is enough and decides to make an example out of you

That is Classic Paul Dano

Paul Dano is one of the best actors on earth, but the "classic Paul Dano" meme has almost ruined him for me. Like, I absolutely love him, I think he's incredible, and I would watch a movie just because he's in it, he's that good. But this meme is just SO STUPID, and means absolutely nothing, that I almost can't watch something with him in it, and see his face without just thinking in my head "...classic".

What does it even mean??? It's NONSENSE, and has nothing to do with him, whatsoever. It is literally the dumbest thing in the entire universe. Paul Dano did nothing to provoke it or anything, he has no control over it and has influenced it in no way. Fucking Yea Forums is so dumb but damn it they live rent free in my brain. It's so absurd you almost have to respect it.

Is that the nigger dude?

I remember our church was trying to "hip" and youth friendly. We got snacks and soda and we got to play N64 on a projector and skateboard and shit. IMO it was pretty fun. Very little if any preaching that i recall

>I've never witnessed any crazy shit like this
"Crazy shit" in Christianity, relative to say, The Catholic Church and mainstream society, tends to be limited to fringe protestant denominations who favor the Old Testament so hard they may as well be Ultra-Orthodox Jews

You're the retard though, that's whats so funny about this. The pope is the living embodiment of Jesus Christ, "extrabiblical" lmfao do you even have any of the slightest understanding of apologetics or theology you sound like a dumbass, any doctrine that is passed by the church is passed with the blessing of Jesus Christ, you're literally blaspheming Christ Himself and you're too stupid to know it

he's clearly white, you're thinking of Obama

English. Learn it before your next post. Thx.

Unironically they were right

One time visiting my cousin in Portland I went to this baptist(all black) church and it was actually pretty fun. Everyone was cool and they had electric guitars and a cookout after. I had never seen anything like that. I feel if Eli had gone to a more laid back place he wouldn’t have gotten his head caved in.

>The pope is the living embodiment of Jesus Christ
I refuse to believe Catholics actually believe this holy shit

well at least traditionally. every catholic i know hates the current pope and openly call him a stupid faggot/traitor/etc

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nah he would've got the diabetus instead

faux disingenuousness isn't an argument, hellbound scumbag piece of shit

Did he deserve it?

Well for one Jesus is without sin and we know popes haven't been.

oN a list of 10 must see Paul "classic" dano movies
, this performance came no 1 , you will not believe no 4 .

tasteofcinema.com/2016/the-10-best-paul-dano-movies-you-need-to-watch/

>and it was actually pretty fun
no shit, their whole goal is to make it fun
they completely miss the point of going to church, of course, but they have a great weekly community gathering

The kool aid would’ve done him in?

the fact that there have historically been multiple anti-popes you can at the very least say you can never be sure if the pope is a "real" pope

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Mennonites seem pretty chill. I think the Evangelicals originally started as a reaction against the soulless Protestant sects that mostly just acted as a thinly veiled exclusive club for rich WASPs to meet up at every week. But grifters quickly figured out it was a goldmine for setting up cults where on the low end you just get a steady income, on the high end you have minidictatorship where you control your followers lives, whilst the pastors can do anything. If they get found out can either sell it as the will of God or go through a brief period where you stress how much Jesus forgives sinners. Either way, low risk of facing consequences unless you go so far that the feds begin to step in like they did for the Mormans

Classicism.

if by kool aid you mean potlucks yes

>living embodiment of Jesus
Wrong. He's the Vicar of Christ. Go relearn the basics before you start spouting shit that makes Catholics look foolish

In my experience, black Churches are cool no matter the denomination. If they come up with new music, its actually good, whether they have a full band and choir or just one kid with a drum bc they actually put in effort on their music, instead of aping New Age or Pop rock ballads that no one in the congregation can get attached to. Plus everyone actually tries to participate in singing praises to their lord instead of standing around silently like ingrates

A classic performance by a classy man

More like a classy performance by a classic man.

A lot of kooky protestant sects sprung up in America back in the day.

Oh I misunderstood, user. Is that what it’s called? I thought they were just called cookouts or whatever. That’s pretty cool.

Classic paul

It was fun desu. Few guys playing instruments and the pastor or reverend or whoever was leading. And the ppl were really into and singing. The white church id been to before it was kinda boring and depressing. If it had been like this frowning up I’d prob enjoyed going

kek, That is what i meant to say , thanks user , kino comment.

That's nothing. My hyperchristian cult always took part in murdering a jew as part of our communion every month.

its called stuffing your face and then praying for the good lord to take you away

>Tfw American
>Tfw raised Catholic , went to somber catholic masses , prayed every day, 12 years of catholic schooling that had me taught by monks and christian uni grad students
>tfw I read or hear about what American Protestants do
American Evangelicals are a fucking embarrassment in so many ways I don't even know where to begin.

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maybe you can be the next bill o reily

Prods can literally interpret the bible anyway they like and create their own church

that's pretty much every religion ever. Just call the other dudes hypocrites and you're set.

Every other religion interperpates the bible? I think you’re confused, friend

replace the bible with whatever the fuck it is they believe obviously

Absolutely seething. Yikes!