Be Mothers Day

>be Mothers Day
>thought I’d be nice and offer to take my mom to the movies
>I wanted to see Detective Pikachu but she wanted to see some dumbass Christian movie called Breakthrough
>I tell her no, if I’m paying for her ticket than I get to see the movie I want to watch
>Start fighting with her that I’m ungrafeful and it’s suppose to be her day
>She obviously has to bring up how I’m 26 years old and still living at home, at this point I get fed up and tell her to go fuck herself
>she storms into her room and starts crying

anyway I’m on my way to see Detective Pikakino. How’s your Mother’s Day going Yea Forums?

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Based

Based

post pics of ur mom

Dude you need to apologise

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lmao based. you showed that dumb bitch!

You handled that pretty well. If my mom mouthed off to me in public I would beat the shit out of her.

bout to call mom
i didn't get her flowers or anything, but she lives 3000 miles away and i'm the fuck up child, so her hearing my voice and knowing i'm not dead yet is hopefully heartening enough
oh and i found out earlier today that i'll probably be homeless come july

sorry mom
:(

Same desu cept for the dying part, hopefully we'll get it together one day user

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>be me
>no one has any reason to visit me
>someone knocks on my door
>I don't answer it and they go away

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Based

I woke my mom up with cunnilingus and analingus on this blessed holiday.

for mothers day I made several of my lgfs future mothers.

Me and my mother just pretend mothers day isn't a thing. She knows I won't buy her anything and is tired of complaining

Apologise to your mother you faggot
and kill yourself after that

Decent bait, only slightly overdone. 7/10

>cunnilingus and analingus
What does this mean?

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I took my mom out for lunch

I, Deus Vult, ate my mom's pussy and ass for breakfast and lunch. Can't wait for dinner, I love mother's day

he ate his mom out for brunch

>Taking my mom to dinner on Mother's Day
>On our way to the limo we see an African American gentleman heading towards us
>I grab her and quickly cross the street
>She asks me "Why did you cross the street user?"
>I explain to her that despite being 13% of the population African Americans commit most of the crimes
>She says "That's not true I dated I black man before and he wasn't violent at all."
>I stay silent with a look of disgust on my face the rest of the drive
>Fast Forward to desert
>I tell her "Does dad know..."
>"Know what user?"
>I scream at the top of my lungs "That he married a coal burning whore!"
>A guy in a Captain American shirt tells me not to talk to her like that
>I get in his face and Tell him if I wanted a gay faggots advice I'd hit up Wil Wheaton on twitter
>I pick up my banana cream pie and throw it in my mothers face
>Suddenly the restaurant erupts into a wacky pie fight
>Everyone's laughing and having a good time while my mother's in tears
>Whisper in her ear "Happy Mother's Day"

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And then everybody clapped

I don't live at home, my mom is like 300 miles away. I spent the day jacking off to porn.

I'm 34 and I'll never move out. I would marry my mother if it was legal, it's not even against the Bible.

God this is so fucking hot, Yea Forums is destroying my life.

based manchildren wanting to force her mom into a kid film

I live in the attic and just ordered pizza for everyone
Happy milf day

My mom wanted to stay in all day while I eat her out instead of eating out at a restaurant.

but user think of your GBP!

I used to live in the city next door to the town my parents live, but moved to a different state for my career. I'm hoping to move back to my hometown, but most of the jobs in my field in that area were only looking for senior level. I don't have 10+ years experience, I'm only 25 so I moved.
I'm a robot programmer.

At least you are not gay.

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For mother’s day my mom and I got food and watched Reservoir Dogs. She has decent taste in kino and she is nice to me, I love my mom. Happy Mother’s Day

Based and bonerpilled

Sounds nice

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i wana be a robot programmer too!! just finishing up a analytical programming course. what else would i need for robotics?

find a college or trade school with robots on campus.

bump

All of this would be really hot if I didn't know that once you cum the horniness goes away. If only it were like in games where I have a huge dick, infinite stamina and everybody loves me.
>tfw I'm not the milfy city dude

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Enjoy your time with your Mom.
My mom died January f this year.
Also , you're an insufferable selfish prick who optimizes the "participation trophy" millennial stereotype.
You should apologize to her.

>pond slime has parents.
lol. no.

I wish mommies looked like they do in hentai, not this wrinkly mess. As women age they lose this shine that comes with youth. To be honest, actual mommies who live for their families look much better than these "I'm a hot milf!" dregs.

>I wanted to see Detective Pikachu
You need to be over 18 to post here.

based, this never would have happened if she had arranged for a suitable wife