Movie starts

>movie is longer than 100 minutes

not even going to start

>someone says something on screen

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>kinoplex
>lights dim
>movie starts
>crack open the crab legs

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>spend entire movie paranoid that any one single tiny action I make could be interpreted as me checking out the girl or something

>movie starts
>mom yells at me through locked door to get a job or I'm getting kicked out of the house
>turn up the volume on my headphones

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>movie starts

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>busy night at the kinoplex
>sit at the end of the row so people need to squeeze by to sit closer to the middle

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>deus ex machina saves the day

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>movie starts
>main character is a white male

*sigh*

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>strangers all filling out both sides and leaving the middle empty
>"accidentally" stand on some toes and don't apologize

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>not just staring straight at the girl's tits for the entire runtime

But I DON'T want that
I don't want some normie dudes roastie gf, but they all think people do

>not wanting to start a fight with a "chad"
Pussy.

i made a wojak for you, Yea Forums

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>movie starts
>guy next to me starts smoking

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>movie starts
>gulp down some Coca-Cola™
>grab a handful of popcorn
>say out loud "fuck I love the Transformers"

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>Credits roll
>Downwards

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>Lights dim
>"Turn off your cell phones" message comes on
>niggas still on dey phone

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>movie starts at end credits
>mfw forgot to rewind

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>movie starts
>watch it like a normal human bean

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DO NOT OPEN THAT SHIT

wtf

whats going on here

>baby in the theater

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did he died?

this isnt porn lads

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to you, maybe

Giving myself an at home vasectomy now

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What the fuck is wrong with white people?

>trailer finishes
>couple in row ahead whisper to each other

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>movie starts
>20th century fox intro

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The baby is fucking dead now, what a dumb bitch.

I WARNED YA.
DIDN'T I WARN YA?!

>movie starts
>pregnant woman beside me starts squeezing out her fetus

looked dead before it hit its fuckin ghead

It looks dead as fuck, with its blue color, no movement, and the cord wrapped around its neck

>tfw she winks at you then starts chewing on placenta

>movie starts
>here baby crying

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maybe she should have given birth in a hospital with doctors and shit lmao

>movie starts
>guy eating out his chicken next to you

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hot

americans have to trade in some organs to afford that

welp, that baby just got extra brain damage

Aw (s word) here we go again

>movie starts
>child kisses and adult in the mouth

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MOOOOOOODSSSSSSSSS

> Movie ends
> Hide and wait for the next one

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>americans

>Movie starts
>"AAAAAHHH DANY SAVE ME"
>Scene stop in the middle of the scream
>"Yeap that is me,you may wonder how do i get here..."

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BASED

>movie starts
>I drop my box of Gobstoppers and the sound of them rolling down the aisle fills the entire theater

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My friend and I tried this when we were like 13 but were giggling too much

>movie ends
>gobble leftovers

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>they start making out and giggling

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vile fuckers posting this depraved shit in this thread grow up

this is illegal you know

i-is that an feline deity?

First the baby and now this. Fuck you.

>check out girl until Chad picks a fight with me
>beat Chad
>Stacy wants to be my gf now
>"oh I thought you were a guy"

>movie starts
>it's actually good

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what is it?

>movie starts
>movie ends
>the emptiness is still there

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What do you think?

I already got baited once in this thread and it ain't happenin' again. Someone tell me what it is.

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>deleted
wtf was it?

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> mfw i force america to cut the bad bits out of there films and include special scenes just for me
> and they do it for free!

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>deleted
what a legend that user is
power move

>normie redditor baby's first CP

Can this actually work?

he posted a dog webm that quickly switches over to hardcore cp

>offers you some
>it isn't as bad as you thought it'd be

american backyard miscarriage

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baby's alive btw

youtu.be/x6k3rNrpcMU

>pussy clicks stop because he's afraid of what's next

haha you missed out loser

>they start having sex

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>half way through movie
>MC stops, takes off his shirt
>puts on a shirt with a crude photoshop picture of your face on it
>the final hour of the movie is just the MC pointing at your picture while looking directly into the camera

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god women are fucking repulsive

Thank god that baby is dead, Imagine having a mother like that

shit I know that shit is horrible and that the kid is beyond fucked (no pun intended) but I can't stop watching it...I should ask for help bros?

What cp is it

>I always managed to catch the baby without having to give it much of a thought
>drops the baby on its fucking head

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Wait what

you fucking sicko

>suckling that tiddy right after birth
based

Idiots don't understand that babies and young kids have softer bones which is why they don't suffer damage as easily

The best one

imagine growing up knowing that millions of people have seen you get born in the backyard on the internet cause of your degenerate mother.

Delightfully devious, Cho.

the bones don't suffer damage yeah, but I don't think dropping babies on the head is good for them. The skull might not break, but that shit can't be good for the brain.

brains are liquid at that age

Yea but the kid will grow up to be a retarded just like yourself

That's why you give birth laying down

Underated post

Based smoker.

pretty based 2bh. you hear all those stories of women having hours long and unimaginably painful childbirth then theres this lady casually showing the world how helpful gravity is when you need a baby out instead of laying in bed straining like mad with a doc having to help pull when he can

patrician tastes

Wtf I love America now

>halfway through movie
>MC puts on girl clothes and declares himself a girl
>we as the audience have to accept that

user humans gave birth standing up for thousands of years. Why are you pretending to be so retarded

>user humans gave birth standing up for thousands of years.
that explains why people were so much more ape-like just a few thousand years ago

dropping them actually makes them stronger (goku)

me

>white """""people"""""

people still give birth standing up, they just dont drop the baby onto the fucking ground

What the fucking shit nigga

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guessing poos and chinks do this?

>weird movie
>credits roll in opposite direction

:^\

you can literally walk into a hospital in the first world and see women standing up and giving birth
why would i expect a fa/tv/irgin to know anything about childbirth lol

>watching previews
>someone screeches at full blast right behind you into your ear

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He most likely punched her out later for sitting next to a dude for 2 hours.

>watching movie
>black people come in theater

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Zoz

holy fuck I'm glad I was a test tube baby

>pass dem egg rolls nigga

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MODS

>movie is 21st century american social commentary disguised as capeshit

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> watching black panther
> the blk gurls are looking at me
> 'emm I could really go for a white boi right now!'

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>he watches movies or tv

Can you explain to me how do they catch the baby??

Do the doctor grab him while he falling down or do they put a pillow to soft the fall???

most women can make more pressure in the vaginal canal if they stand up and have the ground to support them
a midwife, nurse, or doctor will stand underneath them and help ease the baby out and obviously let it touch the ground
once the baby is out, they cut the cord and wait for the afterbirth to come out

doctors all have stands that can stop time

Why was this recorded?
Why was it uploaded to the internet?
What the fuck is wrong with American women?

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Uncle June!

Christians: You can't prove there ISN'T a god.

Me:

What the actual fuck

>he doesn't go to the bathroom, wait for the cleaning staff to leave, and then go in with the normal crowd for the next one

nah fuk this shtt nikka

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he is dead

must be some shitty hospitals
wonder what shithole you like in to call labor as dangerous and retarded as that "normal"
>why would i expect a fa/tv/irgin to know anything about childbirth lol
oh the irony oh the projection

hey retards
post ONE webm of this happening in a hospital and not the Appalachian mountains

german women you obsessed yuropoor

>movie starts
>main charactor is another grrl-power dyke

Good to know that the child survived. idk why the mom couldn't just like, lay down on the ground instead of standing up and probably causing heavy damage. I'm just happy it's breathing desu.

Always bring a bro with you so you can make out with him and not feel awkward in these situations.

Based. Womenlets these days can't have babies the natural way. As if we needed fancy hospital rooms and sedatives throughout most of human history.

What the fuck is wrong with white people.