Patton Oswalt

Is he the best modern comedian?

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Who?

The only thing worse than a wife killer is a tripfag.

lol ok fag

>Who?
rattattouille

First he gave her extra sleeping pills in her evening tea.

Then when she was drowsy he pretended to start sexy time and bound her to the headboard.

He took a plain latex condom, unrolled it, placed it between their mouths and blew.

The condom extended itself down her throat and began to obstruct her windpipe.

To make sure she didn't retch it out, he took a pitcher from below the bed and poured saliva he had collected over a week into the condom.

The condom now a solid blockage in her throat, he now placed his mouth over her nose and began to blow co2 into her lungs.

After about a minute, she realized something was wrong, but the combination of sleeping pills, being tied, and lack of oxygen meant she could barely put up a struggle. Her last vision was her husband with her nose in his mouth, coldly monitoring her pupil dilation.

It was over quick. He sucked on the condom, slurping up the saliva, and then removed it from her throat flushed it down the toilet. The rags tying her hands went back to the towel rack. She looked peacefully asleep, and as far as the police would ever know, she had been when he got back in bed beside her, and turned out the lights....

Not even top 50 lol

A murderer who sold his soul for fleeting pleasure, and deserves nothing more or less than the swift, icy hand of the reaper.

I'm partial to Patton and David Cross. They both really seem to rustle /pol/tard jimmies for some reason which is a bonus.

spbp

>it take politics into account when choosing my favorite comedians
You're the worst kind of faggot

based and truepilled

cry more polfag

I thought he was another libtard douche, but then he did a stand-up routine where he talked about his dead wife, and that made me see him as human.

I bet she was gonna divorce him. In California. Which means bye-bye to his $5 million house, his bank account, his residuals, etc.
Still, he’s one ice-cold killer hobbit.

A human killing machine.

he's a coldblooded killer. smothered his wife with a yoda pillow because she took his last xanax.

he's funny as fuck. sam hyde fags are literal cancer and need to die painfully.

inb4 thanks tranny, go back, etc.

>where he talked about his dead wife that he killed
FTFY

Funny thing is he didn't kill his wife. His daughter did because she wanted a new mommy.

He did get married to another women surprisingly fast after the last wife died...

based
kys tranny

I loved it when Cross met the chinese chick and he pulled back his eyes and started sayin "ching chong, ching chong"

Doug Stanhope

How deep does this lore go?

David Cross hasnt been funny since mr show in the 90s. All of his standup is really bad

yeah man he kills (his wife)

His last 2 specials have been pretty solid senpai