What would you do if you were given control of a Kenobi movie?

Have Luke get abducted as a young child (because he's force sensitive) and have Obi-Wan put on his Jedi robes for one last rodeo while also trying to hide his and Luke's identities.

two suns

The sun can really fuck with you

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Came here to say this. You've earned your (you) user.

Test

raep jawas

kek

Get some of the Clone Wars writers to help write his dialogue for sure.

I'd make a hilarious sex romp of Ken trying to seduce the sandpeople women.

I would cast Ewan

he is already confirmed to have banged boba fett's aunt.

Tusken raiders/Obi-Wan gangbang

Tatooine is a fucking shithole

Ignore the duel in Rebels and have him kill Maul in the movie instead

Dirty Dozen in Space.
Cast Ewan
Set 10 years before A New Hope.
Palpatine proposes new security powers.
Plot to assassinate Palpatine.
Several Jedi in hiding are on board.
Assorted other badasses.
Obi Wan reluctantly joins.
Plan goes off the rails.
Sheev knew all along!
Oh Shit its Vader!
Jedi start dropping.
Obi Wan vs Vader 2, the Thrilla in Manila.
Everybody goes down except Obi Wan.
Palpatine uses failed terrorist assassination to sell security bill.

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Kenobi/Satine story, so it predates Annakin.

So operation valkyrie in space?

Just take a movie about a lone samurai defending a small village but then replace the samurai with Obi-Wan.

I guess, I didn't see Valkyrie but, yeah a failed assassination attempt that ultimately empowers the dictator.

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This would be aight

No Vader and I'd be on board.

The same sort of fanwank scene that Vader got in RO, give Sheev one like it in this.

rape the lore and the character even more than previous SW movies so that manchildren get desperate and stop caring for this shit brand or anything that hollywood produces
and i would get paid for it

Why no Vader? Its an Obi Wan story and the only Vader vs. Obi Wan confrontation we have is the terrible duel from A New Hope. If they didn't have a confrontation it would be a wasted opportunity.

I'm thinking a scene where Sheev, Vader, and the 501st slaughter nearly all the assassins leading to a scene where Obi Wan and one or two survivors run for their lives with Vader in pursuit. You get your Vader vs. Obi Wan rematch but this time Vader kicks Obi Wan's ass and a last minute sacrifice by one of his companions is just enough to slow Vader down enough that he can escape.

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just cast Ewan and have him wander in the desert like the sad broken fuck he is, regularly dropping by to check on Luke, having sporadic talks with force ghost qui-gon, just two hours of ptsd obi wan being a desert bum

Becuase of the fact that they meet/duel in ANH is the reason why I think Vader should be left out. The whole point is that the last time they met was on Mustafar after Lil Annie got high-grounded. Making them meet in the interim cheapens it, also there's no way that Vader would let Obi Wan just go if he encountered him again/knew he was still alive, there'd literally not be a single thing which Vader would do harder than pursue Obi Wan after that.

Tank it so that disney suffers financially

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Doesn't he know he's still alive after Mustafar?

alright so it begins with him going about his new life on tatooeine doing odd jobs here and there, life is a little dull now but he remembers his life of a jedi and doesn't get despondent or depressed. One day he is doing some trading or something in a small colony village thats like a western ghost town with a few denizens and the like, its pretty bland but theres wind blowing and theres a few long takes of aliens and wanderers just staring at the camera or meandering around menacingly. Obi notices someones watching him but he pretends to ignore them and goes home, when hes at home some assassin jumps out and they have a little lightsaber duel and the baddie escapes, but not before damaging obi wan in some way or blowing up his lightsaber (its repairable but not just right now), and the bad dude takes off with lukes lightsaber. What ensues is a trek across a couple of planets, learning to be a genial nobody but has some street smarts and maybe gets someone to help just so there is some dialogue. anyway he eventually catches up to the guy on a icey planet thats into some sort of manufacturing sort of deal so theres the typical industry crap going on all around. Suddenly the villain reveals himself to be Riley Stearns, the man Ewan wronged in real life by stealing his girl, the movie then changes into a half an hour of Ewan mcgregor getting his ass kicked and people running onto the set tryna stop Riley but hes been training for this for ages and cant be stopped by no body, and it becomes like a Jackie Chan film with nutty stunts and shit but really hes just getting some revenge and the film ends with Riley walking into the sunset victorious, ewan panting and sobbing coz he shit his pants. roll credits.

>cast ewan
>make him suck my dick
>cancel movie

>Make Obi-Wan movie
>Actually an excuse to get an Obi-Wan/Ventress Sex Scene

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I would run the whole franchise and brand name into the ground, I would somehow make sure that I never hear about Star Wars again in my life.

make him gay and make the movie all about his secret sex life with owen lars until they broke up explaining why owen didnt want luke to see him.

kino af

I bet that the story group is fucking seething over them adding that in

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Stress.

This but I also suck his

I'd go on Yea Forums to get better ideas for my movie, and not have to pay writers to do so.

Ventress died before ROTS, user

Hears a rumour that Chloe Moretz will be playing the womp rat

based

FPBP as always.

God I hate Hollywood

/thread

this or just make the biggest shitshow i can to turn more people off. Wouldn't cast mcgregor though, cant do that to him

i'd make the shittiest movie ever and launder all the money for myself

Yeah. I wouldn't want to shit on Ewan. One of the few pre Disney actors left that only deserves the best (considering what happened with the OT cast).

I assume they wouldn't be able to help themselves with Vader showing up, but they should make a rule that they're not even in the same system at any point in the movie.

I'd make his name a shitty pun, something like
>who can save these people?
>only one can, Obi

Is that still canon?

Raiders on tatooine hired by Gardula the Hutt are attacking frams and villages. Owen the respectable community man, Mister Darklighter and some other go to Kenobi to help them hire mercs. Find 6 more star wars mercs, the gay asian couple form Rogue 1 could be 2 of them. Backgrounder in Solo cold be some that die

Running battle in Mad Maxed out speeders starting at Mos Desto

Ends at the Lars farm the raider leader lands a skyhopper and Ben shoots him with that long rifle Luke had “Dont touch my family you Nerf Banger”. Kenobi drags the body into the sand as an 8 year old Luke comes out in his pajamas asking whats up. Ben makes up a story he just bought him a Skyhopper from mister Darkligther. Luke thrilled he will get flying lessons from Bigg's dad

Absolutely based & redpilled