Shit Yea Forums meme that no one outside Yea Forums finds funny

nice blog post faggot

I got my asshole rimmed by a 12 year old when i was 19. Then i raped some bitch who was 45 when i was 13, maybe 14. Then i had sex and all when i was 15. Dated in elementary school but eh. Now im 69 and dating a 16, former 15 year old.

Lmao incel

Formerly virgin

Bend over

Smashed 17 year old puss and got caught by her mom

>be me at work
>attractive girl keeps coming up finding reasons to talk to me
>she’s literally appearing out of thin air to come up to talk to me like something out of the Truman Show or a Wojciech Has movie
>by the end of the day she’s literally standing in front of me stretching and arching her back rubbing her tits in front of me then she starts almost rubbing herself against this metal pole like a cat in heat right in front of my very eyes but it was more nonchalant and subtle
>I’m just sort of standing there alooof and dumbfounded
Why does God do this to me? She was literally appearing out of nowhere and one time the synchronization of my thoughts and her appearing was too great of a coicidence, literally shocked me.

women are overrated, there is nothing more vapid than talking to a woman

have sneed

Have Sneed

31 here, i can feel the power coursing through me

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Based, only a man can understand another man and thus only two men can love each other.

>How did this even become a meme here?

Educated guess? Plebbit or (((pure coincidence))).

She wants you faggot, ask her out

this is me, they approach me first, but reject me right after because i am too autistic to have an interesting conversation and i am boring by their standarts,:( why is god so cruel, its like he gives me a taste of what i could have than just takes it right away, and the thing is it has been +7/10 women some even 9/10, if it was ugly fatties i wouldnt suffer so much and would be easier to cope :(

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what if I'm over 20 and have a teenage gf
does that count?

Why do i find that pic gay as fuck? Slamming girls and acquiring vast pussy is 10/10 alpha behaviour but teenage love sounds boring as fuck.

That's what I do to my gf. Shes 4 foot 10

I'm 25 years old and I never even kissed a girl.

Nothing is wrong with being a virgin if you’re happy.

If you’re not happy being a virgin (most people aren’t due to the physical, mental and emotional benefits of having intimate sexual experiences) it makes sense that you would take measures to solve that.

The men who take out their frustrations on women are the most pathetic because they’re not even strong enough to accept that they are partially responsible for their own situation (the only uncontrollable factor being generics). They deserve ridicule (ie. have sex). If you are the kind of person who calls yourself an incel, you are probably this kind of person.

The next most pathetic person is one who sees people who are struggling to find a modicum of joy in life and decides to pile on. (Ridiculing virgins who are minding their own business).

So did you talk to her?

Legitimate chuckle

Exact same situation here. Also unemployed.

A real fucking failure.

I wish I was gay. Women just don't find me attractive, I don't blame them either but damn if I was gay I could pull any guy I wanted

My problem is that i clearly need sex and suffer from the withrawals of nothing having sex by being sexually creepy around my female acquintances, but then again i'm too lazy to go out and get a girl for me. What should i do to get myself more excited about it?

just go up to a girl and kiss her she'll either like it or just slap you across the face and that slap will be a lot less painful than inexperience in the long run

Literally r*ddit, have sex incels
So basically a pedophile? Yeah, doesn’t really count there bud...

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subsequently a sneedle

I was in the same boat. Save up money at your job to buy a prostitute. That way at least you’ll know what it feels like.

Almost been a year? Time to dump her before she cheats lad
t. boomer who knows these things

What if I'm a 35 year old boomer and I have a (legal here) 16 year old girlfriend?

Actually based

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nice blogpost straightfag

>she’s literally appearing out of thin air
[doubt]

Petah get down here!
Ahhh what’s wrong lois?
It’s 6pm and you haven’t fed quagmire yet!
Ehehehhe my bad I’ll head down to the basement now.
Wakey wakey quaggy!
Wh- oh... no I’m still here...
*peter unbuckles his belt, his flabby arse falling out like a waterfall of ruined flesh*
Peter please... please... I- I just wanna see my family again
*peter kicks over the chair, smiling down at the malnourished quagmire as he squats over his face, the rotund spectacle blocking nearly all light as poor quagmire can only stare up at the now widening pucker of peter griffin*
OPEEEN WIDEEEEE
*BRRRAAAAPPPP PFFFRRRTFTFTF PPPPOOPPBBB SWEWWE PRRRRBBBT*
Ble- ahh AAHHHHHHH PETER PLE-
*PLOP POLOP BRRAAAAAPPPPP BBBREEEW PRRRREAAAAAPPPPP*
I-I’m gonna be sick again... peter please let me g-
*BRREAPPPPPOPO POPPPFTTFTR*
Mmmhmm yeah quaggy eat that shit! God I feel like when I met tom cruise that one time at the wheat convention! Oh FUCK quagga here comes the motherlode!
*you can smell the rancid, rotting shit well before it even pokes its vile head from peters stretched hole, the godless log slowly pushes apart peters elastic pucker as if descends into the mouth of dear quagmire, it’s abhorrent, filthy smell choking the air, as the worm laden horror slips over quagmires teeth*
gurgle- choke- gurgle- ack- p-Pete-
*BRRRRAPPOOOOO PPPLPDPDPDPPDPTNRBTNBTBRBRBBRBR BRRRp*
*quagmire looks near death as he chews and swallows the log, as more vile fumes and particles collide with his face, he swallows every chunk, his face pale and his eyes blurred*
Wheeze, cough... peter please... let me go... I... don’t want to die like this.... please
*peter lowers his behemoth rump, the flesh flowing into every mold of quagmires face like a downpour, enveloping his every sense*
Time for desert quaggy
*BRRRAAAAPPPPPP*
The toxic cloud pierces quagmires nervous system to the core, and he slowly suffocates on peters fart, losing consciousness only to wake up at the same time, same place tommorow*

>i clearly need sex and suffer from the withrawals of nothing having sex
spooked and inarticulatepilled

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Well first of all you need to try to go on dates with women you don’t already know. Go on apps or websites or hit on women at bars or ask your friends and acquaintances to set you up with someone.

You need to start seeing your female friends as just friends. They are off limits and even if they weren’t, convince yourself that it would be weird and you’re not interested. That would make you more attractive to them anyway so why not just act like that? Couldn’t hurt.

Kissing a prostitute seems extremely disgusting and unsafe though

Nothing is wrong with being a virgin. Incels need to realize that sex is actually stupid and not nearly as special or good as normies would have you believe. You keep trying to have sex because you think maybe it will be worth it this time but it never is. Even when it's mutually pleasurable it's still boring and you have to deal with another warm, sweaty body taking up space in your bed. Just don't do it. It's better to stay pure forever and not have to go down that path.

Don’t be excited about it. Pretend it doesn’t matter to you at all. Act kind of aloof. Girls don’t like it if you’re too earnest. You want them to think that you’re not that into them. That will make them want you more.

Trips and you never will.

>just turned 17
>date girl who I was crushing on for 2 years but could never make it work
>I never did anything with a girl before
>she’s gone as far as getting her twat fingered once
>1 month in she says to her mom in front of me she will never suck a dick
>feelsbadman
>1 week after that while I’m fingerblasting her she whispers in my ear “don’t cum in my mouth”
>proceeds to suck the life out of me
>month after that we say we love each other
>2 months later we fuck raw
>with her for 4 years
>tfw found love and lose my virginity within 4 months after 17 years of nothing
>tfw 27 now and nothing has ever come close to being as good as that.

Oh no don’t kiss the prostitute, just have sex with her. Sorry if that was unclear.

>18
>pedo
why do ppl say this

Don’t listen to this guy. Sex is great. There is a reason why everyone is obsessed with it.

hurry up and marry her

Meh,

I've been trough those teenage years, it's been disapointing.

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none of this shit is true, fucking kek.

What the fuck are you saying, this is clearly a /fit/ meme

Anyway, I got my teenage girlfriend at 25 (she was 19), so eat it

I get what you're going for but i think there's a limit how much you should act against your instincs if you find your female surroundings hot. Maybe i should try to tone it down? If i'm not interested at all the girls will also stop being interested.

Don’t listen to this guy. Capeshit is great. There is a reason why everyone is obsessed with it.

>Summer's Bummer, formerly Night's

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>starting dating girl
>she's attractive enough but not that attractive
>have sex with her for about 1h30m unable to cum
>she cums two times during that time
>now she wants to have sex all the time and won't leave me alone, expecting always that level pf performance
Sounds like fag humble bragging but it's really more trouble than its worth.

subscribed

My first GF was 19 when I was 15. She was kinda mentally handicapped and Filipino, but does it still count?

I like niche Yea Forums memes.
top comfy

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>I perceive people who don't speak English as mentally handicapped
>I think there are girls out there that aren't mentally handicapped
your whole life is wrong