ITT: dishonest and pretentious flicks

>normies watching slow ass atmospheric movies
You wish. Normies love slashers, in your face paranormal stuff and jumpscares.

Dude nothing happens so it's friggin superior

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A goat possessed by the devil kills everyone. It sounds to stupid to be true, but they did it and audiences unironically eat it up.

No it's not 'honest'. Under the marketing surface it's cheesy Hollywood trickery.

If it's not pretentious, explain this: why did the movie title use two Vs instead of one W? no Google you fags answer honestly

Boring, uninspired, yawned when they had their little exorcism scene. Another boring copy paste horror flick.

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>movie is called The Witch with the subtitle A New England Folktale
>the movie is a folktale about witches set in New England.
How dishonest. Were you expecting something else, UFOs?

It's dishonest but not pretentious

I’d say lake mungo and house of the devil did it best

Bump

Summary

People found this movie too uneventful? Is this jsut people's adhd talking?

what is patrician folk horror

100x better

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Whatever isn't popular.

No, just nothing happens, people value their time and won't pay attention to bleak garbage footage of people doing farms shit. Movies have to earn the attention.

the new world settler setting and the focus on religion was enough to keep me interested

Based and redpilled.

Absolute krautkino my friend. You german or how you know about it?

>nothing happens
>a baby gets kidnapped and eaten in the first 5 minutes

>popular = bad
i'm just looking for recommendations

Yeah, me German.

>.5.9 on imdb
am I being duped again

Hagazussa is compared quite frequently to The Witch, a film I enjoyed a great deal and found to be perfectly paced, and sure, stylistically they are very similar. But Hagazussa attempts to be dark, intriguing, atmospheric and shocking, although to me, it was an exercise of my patience. Painfully slow and uninteresting with very little to no substance behind it. Too artsy with no further depth.

Overly long shots with the same atmospheric hurdy-gurdy droning music playing provides nothing, not even atmosphere when overused like that, but that was the bulk of the film. Tension went out of the window because slow build-up has its limits and your audience shouldn't feel tired by the climax. The rest was an attempt to shock, but it fell flat there too because nothing was shown on-screen and was merely implied. Frankly, it felt like a horror short made by students that for some reason got extended into a feature length film.

But I have heard positive things said about this by a fair few people. Personal preference exists and clearly this film was enjoyable to some. But as you can tell, it just wasn't my cup of tea.

I liked The Vvitch until other people liked it at which point I realised it was pretentious normie trash and I never liked it.

Goat possessed by the devil is literally the oldest witch trope around

>i can't like what other people like or else i don't feel smart
enjoy more things. we are going to die and you might as well enjoy things. stop hating for no reason. there are good reasons many people like it. you don't have to only like "the very best" things.

So what are some better examp- wait, you'll never provide them, what am I thinking.

The best and most interesting films are rated 5.5 to 7.0 on imdb.

Nice soigument

It's a colonial American Christian parable about witches. It takes all the old time witch tropes and plays them completely straight.

Propably "too artsy" for the typical burger. If you are one of those stick with Conjuring, my friend.

It's based on folktales, if you like that old "devil playing with the good old Christian farmers" story then watch it, its a competently filmed adaptation.

Otherwise it's really and atmospherical, if that's not your thing then hard pass

You cute?

Anything above 4.8 is worth trying if it's niche.

kek

>3rd world """""""""""""""""""opinion"""""""""""""""""""""

Obsessed

It's pretentious but not dishonest

Any movie who obsesses over historical accuracy is pleb shit

>exorcist
>not scary
It was unsettling, honestly most horror movies are not scary unless you are a woman
Not calling this bait but seriously makes me think it is, so whats a good horror then? The Thing?
Also Eraserhead isnt even horror

That's not true and you know it

Define "substance"

In what way is The Witch pretentious?

It can't be more direct or straightforward.

meaning, emotional or intellectual "meat"

It don't know when the last time you saw The Exorcist was, but the last time I saw it i laughed my ass off when the priests enter the bedroom for the first time.
This film aged horrible and looks like some television comedy sketch now.

Was hyped, because occult horror is top tier, but walking around alone in what looks like my backyard in complete silence with zero dialogue and with absolutely nothing happening for 80 minutes wasn't my thing.
>Oh look, she's washing her clothes in the stream

I like slow movies, and I don't cringe when I hear basedbeards talk about "slow-burn horror yum :D" but even I have my limits.

Well it isn't fucking scary at all, but the atmosphere and set are really well done

How could it possibly be for normies? They spoke in relatively 'period' language which is a big brick wall for the average viewer. I watched it with a few normie friends and we had to fucking pause it ever so often and explain parts because they couldn't keep up with the language, and then they wanted subtitles on. It was a horrendous experience.

>Dishonest
That terminology is a bit too Reddit, could you please tone it down a bit next time? Thanks, sport.

What if I legitimately want to know what movies you like?

It's just yet another "people go crazy and kill other people" movie, not worth watching

He legitimately genuinely unironically likes anime cartoons, james wan flicks and capeshit.

Literally everything Yea Forums pretends to like

I saw The Witch probably more than 8 times by now.
Am I pretending to like it every single time I watch it?