>squeeze two books into one movie
>Root is a woman now
>Butler is black now
>Holly is no longer the first female in the Force
It's gonna suck, isn't it?
Squeeze two books into one movie
Is this going direct to that channel for kids same as Kim Possible?
As much as the book: a pointless shitty trainwreck
Should I read these?
I didn't see the movie but butler was always black you dumb /pol/lock
>some wacky yahoo kid and not a cold autistic fuck
it's shit
Are you a literal child who has yet to go to high school? If so, absolutely, yes you should
>Book has a lot of diversity in the first place
>race swap all the characters until it doesnt make sense anyways
What's the point? They just ruined everything.
No, it's a real Hollywood production directed by Kenneth Branagh.
>It's gonna suck, isn't it?
haven't you seen the trailer? it looks absolutely fucking terrible
It's math user, poz multiplied by poz become a neg
Is there a new trailer or something? Where did you get this info, OP?
if you're above the age of 12, no
Yes, they're quite charming, but they're children books and unlike Harry Potter they never aspire to be more than that.
The books went downhill after they introduced the genius loli.
>Full libtard disney
of course it will suck
>Holly and Artemis only kiss once
That's the real bullshit right there
Is this one of the best examples of how hollywoods "diversity" gender actually has nothing to do with empowering women or minorities? They'll gladly ruin the main females storyline just to shove an extra woman in a side role and take away any female empowerment from it.
I wanted to take that elf to sneed's feed and seed, formerly chuck's if you know what I mean
I'm not a fan of grimdark shit so thats fine by me.
Wasn’t the Butler always black?
>caucasian
No
...
>Holly is no longer the first female in the Force
But a huge part of establishing Root as a sympathetic character was in that he was riding Holly's ass because the higher ups wanted to see her fail and he wanted to keep her. That's dumb.
Imagine giving a shit about Artemis Fowl of all things.
do we know what Butler's sister looks like? in the books she is supposed to be a qt.
this. shit was eragon tier trash
I AM SO GOD DAMN MAD
I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO MYSELF THE ENTIRE RIDE BACK FROM WORK
13 YEARS
THEY ANNOUNCED THE MOVIE 13 YEARS AGO
THEY WERE GIVEN 13 YEARS TO READ THE BOOK AND THEY DECIEDED TO FUCKING DISNEY CHANNEL A BOOK THAT EXSITED TO BE TEENS FIRST DARK HUMOR NOVEL
THE ENTIRE CONCEPT IS GRIMDARK GRITTY MAGICAL CREATURES LIVING IN AN UNDERGROUND HELL BECAUSE OF HUMANS AND THEY MADE IT A G-RATED HAPPY MOVIE
THEY FUCKING REPLACED THE DRUG-INDUCED SIEZURE THAT THE BOOK STARTS WITH WITH A SEXY ELF LADY FLYING AROUND
DID HARVEY WEINSTEIN HAVE HIS DICK OUT THE ENTIRE PLANNING MEETING
DID ANYONE READ THE FUCKING BOOK
THE BOOK ENDS WITH A FUCKING NUKE BEING LAUNCHED INTO A HOUSE TO KILL 2 KIDS, A BUTLER AND A MENTALLY DISABLED WIDOW
A TROLL THAT LOOKS LIKE THE FRONT HALF OF A WOOLY MAMMOTH FUCKED AN ORC GETS INTO A DEATH MATCH WITH A MAN IN MEDIEVAL ARMOR, GETS BEATEN TO DEATH, BUT NOT BEFORE STABBING HIM IN THE HEART WITH ITS CLAWS, WHO IS ONLY SAVED BY MAGIC
I AM 22 YEARS OLD
THE FIRST BOOK CAME OUT WHEN I WAS 5
I STARTED READING WHEN I WAS 7
THEY ANNOUNCED THE FILM WHEN I WAS 9
IT HAS BEEN 13 GODDAMN YEARS AND THEY GIVE US A SANITIZED SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES PART 2: LETS SELL TOYS TO KIDS
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY A MARKET FOR AN R RATED FANTASY FILM
ALL THE KIDS WHO GREW UP READING THIS DONT WANT A MOVIE FOR 5 YEAR OLDS
LOOK AT THE FUCKING TRAILER
WHY IS THE "EURASIAN" "THIRD BEST TRAINED IN MARTIAL ARTS" BUTLER A FAT BLACK GUY
WHERE IS HIS GUN WHY DOES HE HAVE A BOW
WHY IS BUTLER MAKING THE SURPRISED O-FACE I WOULD SEE IN A PBS KIDS SHOW HIS CHARCTER IS STOIC AND BROODING THATS IT
WHY IS HOLLY A LITTLE IRISH WHITE GIRL SHE IS A FULL-GROWN NUT-BROWN ELF
WHY IS ROOT A FUCKING WOMAN HIS ENTIRE BACKSTORY IS THAT HOLLY IS THE FIRST WOMAN AND HES WHIPPING HER INTO SHAPE TO PROVE WOMEN CAN JOIN THE FORCE BUTS HES A FATHER FIGURE SO HE CANT TELL HER HOW PROUD HE IS
THEY PUT THAT BRITISH BITCH IN TO PLAY M AGAIN IN A DIFFERENT SERIES AND PULL PARENTS IN
both the first 3 books and the first eragon were kino
do you feel subverted yet?
>A BOOK THAT EXSITED TO BE TEENS FIRST DARK HUMOR NOVEL
No
>THE ENTIRE CONCEPT IS GRIMDARK GRITTY MAGICAL CREATURES LIVING IN AN UNDERGROUND HELL BECAUSE OF HUMANS AND THEY MADE IT A G-RATED HAPPY MOVIE
They are environmentalist novels.
*bio-bomb your childhood*
you mad white boi?
IMDb has the cast list, which tells you everything you need to know.
shit taste. here's some real YA fantasy for your ass
First bit isn’t true anymore they’re just doing the first book
Is that Holly's actress?
Yes
Ive said this before, but an Artemis Fowl adaptation would have worked best as an anime.
It doesn't even make sense. Artemis Fowl is like millenial shit. Did zoomers read it too? I don't see many millenials lining up to watch yet another shitty adaptation
It's a designated flop so Disney doesn't have to pay as many taxes on their Endgame profits
HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY GOING TO CONTINUE THE SERIES
ACCORDING TO TWITTER THE PLOT ISNT HIM STEALING GOLD TO PAY THE RUSSIAN MOB RANSOM ITS BECAUSE HE THINKS THE FAIRIES STOLE HIS DAD
THEYA RE LITERALLY REMOVING ALL THE CHARATCER DEVELOPMENT HE GOES THROUGH
HE WAS RAISED BY HIS FATHER, A MOB LEADER, TO PUT MONEY ABOVE ALL ELSE SO HE SAYS "I AM YOUNG ENOUGH TO BELIVE IN FAIRIES BUT OLD ENOUGH TO KIDNAP THEM" SO HES A COLD HEARTED GENIUS WHO HAS NO EQUAL AND DOES WHAT HE WANTS
THEY FIRST SCENE OF HIM CRACKING IS WHEN HE TRADES HALF THE GOLD FOR HIS MOTHERS HEALTH
THE SECOND BOOK STARTS WITH HIM BEING UNABLE TO NAME ANYONE HE CONSIDERS AN EQUAL, HE GOES THROUGH THE STORY WITH HOLLY AND THEN SMILES SAYING HE HAS
THE THIRD BOOK STARTS WITH HIM PROMISING ONE LAST HEIST, ONE THAT IS LITERALLY JUST HIM MAKING SUPERCOMPUTERS, BEFORE HE GIVES IT ALL UP AS HIS FATHER IS BACK AND BECOME A MORAL MAN HE TRADES HIS MEMORIES TO PROTECT HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY
AND ALL OF THAT SHIT
ALL OF IT
IS OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW BECAUSE SOME EXEC THINKS KIDS ARENT GOING TO LIKE ARTEMIS UNLIKE THE MASSIVELY POPULAR BOOK SERIES ITS BASED ON
THEY RUINED ALEX RIDER
THEY RUINED MOCKINGJAY
THEY ARE GOING TO RUIN MORTAL INSTRUMENTS
THEY RUINED PERCY JACKSON
THEY ARE CURRENTLY RUINING MORTAL ENGINES
WHY CAN AN ENTIRE INDUSTRY NOT CARRY A FRACTION OF EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT FROM A BOOK TO A MOVIE
THERE ARE A MILLION HORRIFYING THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN THIS SERIES AND THEY ARE GOING TO GUT EVERYTHING BECAUSE THEY THINK KIDS DON'T LIKE TO WATCH THE SAME STUFF THEY LIKE TO READ ABOUT
NOW THE DESCRIPTION FROM THE DIRECTOR SAYS "BOOKS 1 AND 2" THEY ARE GOING TO FUCKING RESCUE HIS DAD IN THIS ONE HUH
FUCK THE SNIPER SCENE IN THE SNOW WITH HUNDREDS OF MAFIA MEMBERS JUST BRING THEM HOME LOL
NUCLEAR TRAIN???? SOUND LAME
DONT GIVE HARD REBOOTS THE SAME TITLE
FUCK YOU ALL MY BOOKS ARE AT MY PARENTS HOUSE BOTH SERIES ARE TOP TIER BUT THEYRE FUCKING THIS ONE OVER TOO
she cute
Interesting. You got more?
who
this is another YA adaptation isn't it
The virgin Foul vs the Penchadgon. Hope they never make a movie from that series though.
Children’s book adaption of a genius autist who kidnaps a fairy for ransom money to pay off a mob he thinks stole his dad.
thanks op i had managed to forget about this and get on with my life since the last thread about it a month ago.
i remember really enjoying this series but never read the last three or four books
>yfw Holly is taller than Artemis
the butler was never black
my taste in ya were godlike thank you very much
Reminded me of Avatar
Blue Cats or Last Airbender?
>"I AM YOUNG ENOUGH TO BELIVE IN FAIRIES BUT OLD ENOUGH TO KIDNAP THEM"
Summed up his character in one line. Not sure how they fucked up so hard.
...