Based

>I need to constantly show the world how I feel, otherwise I can't feel

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youtube.com/watch?v=84xdiYmSo-Y

his hair looks like a wig

The wrong Kevin Smith died

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This guy has an IQ in the low 90s.

Based and fuck tabloid freaks like /pol/zoomers

His daughter's nose is so weird. I'm surprised she hasn't had it fixed yet.

>”wife won’t let you watch” face

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Is there any chance at all that the new Jay & Silent Bob movie won't be terrible?

He looks great desu

>tfw 31 and my face looks way more wrinkly than his with black bags under my eyes

That dude was fat as fuck most his life and dramatically slimmed down. Why.

>'I can hear her screaming' face

the wrong kevin smith died.

and by that i mean anyone called 'kevin smith'.

>my standard “somebody just slipped a finger up my ass” photo pose
jesus christ what a fag

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Having a family was somehow the worse thing that ever happened to Kevin. It absolutely ruined him

Calm down you self loathing homo

He had a huge bald spot 10 years ago, so it probably is a wig. No way in fuck his hairline would be like that when he was balding in back 10 years ago.

That's actually quite a reasonable and well thought out explanation for his onions face, which he didn't need to do since he doesn't owe anyone an explanation but I'm glad he did since it still always annoyed the shit out of me. Is he, dare I say, /basedredguyourpilled/?

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>Why.
He had a heart attack because of being a fat fuck and decided to do something about it to improve his chances of not having another one.

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Who even is he. He's posted here constantly

>John Wick 26

imaginne de smellz

>now im thinking about how hard my ex got fucked when she cheated on me

Gross

one fat blob puts his stubby circumcised dry dick into the other's hairy shithole
what a nice mental image

That's what a smile is for Kevin. What a retard.

imagine writing that at your daughters anniversary.

He's oddly one of the few people who look better when they're fat.

it's just nature

Holy fucking cringe

I just cant hate this guy. I know that hes the epitome of le reddit soiboy nerd culture dweeb, but he always seems so genuinely happy abou the things he enjoys and he understands that he lucked out immensely by getting a Hollywood fame while being your average nerdy dork who just does shit he enjoys

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Shit. Now that he's lost weight... I kinda look like Kevin Smith. I actually have had people say I looked like Dante.

cringy faker

>left is my 'im surprised to be here' that means you should think im super down to earth look
is what he's actually doing. it's all about making you think his ego isnt planet-sized.

pls dont

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hella based

Hanging out with your well meaning upper lower-middle class friends. See also:
>AVGN
>Redlettermedia

Its because he is fat and ugly and we all know, so he makes that dumb face.

what the FUCK why are her asscheeks so spread apart

is he talking about the dog?

I like how Kevin Smith always acknowledges that he's an incredibly lucky bluffer. That doesn't mean I'm pleased that he's a thing.

>Wh*te people ass
cringe

That's a great kind of ass, actually. Tight, accessible, with the cunt nicely displayed.

I just admire her for never getting fat even when he was touching the Welles league.

Does he think "omnipresent" and "constant" means the same thing?

this might be the worst post I've ever read in this god forsaken website

Fucking white people, I swear to god.

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>"DUDE SO HELLA BASED!"
Based? Are you people serious? Have you heard him actually talk about anything? This is just a tirade to shill his trademarked pose. He will say anything to make a buck he's more OY VEY, than (((hollywood))).

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>I just admire her for never getting fat
How could she when he was probably eating everything in their house

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It's nearly ten years later, and I still don't get why he made it sound like he never did p-in-v with her, or why he didn't realize how distasteful "brown" sounds for anus when you immediately follow it with taint. And why the fuck would he put them in that order? He gives her oral, then sodomizes her, then... thumps her taint with his dick? What the fuck?

It's probably the only enigmatic thing he's ever written.

are you allowed on Southwest with 1 ticket?

Is this fat cuck on antidepressants?

I can't imagine a grown man of this age posting this teen attention whore crap on instagram

where is the lie tho

funny how kevn is still salty about that

niggers so jelly white women are the most beautiful creatures on the planet while meanwhile nigresses a literal dumpster fires of feces

why is he not crying?

>I have to show my emotions on my face because otherwise other people wont see them
>The face I'm making isn't even an accurate representation of the emotion I'm feeling
>but I'll still post it on social media so everyone knows how I'm feeling
does sóy make you retarded aswell as a faggot or does being a faggot make you retarded?

that ass is objectively abhorrent
no shape, no mass, no definition, just two sad protruding lumps of fat
also you want an ass with tightly adjacent buttcheeks, spreading them apart while going doggy is wonderful

>I didn't read a part of this after I figured out who it was

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I've never understood his appeal. I knew people in 2008 buying his stupid dvds of him just talking on a stage. All he does is semi manic rants because he smokes a lot. None of it was insightful or interesting and he comes off like a low key asshole while trying to mask it with stoner philosophy.

Damn, Robert Downey Jr sure is a funny guy.

it's fine it's like his 'thing', it'd be nice if he ever showed his teeth when he smiled though

You'd have to be older than 25 to know him

I love many kinds of ass. I pity the man who can't see the appeal of that kind of ass.

Why would he cry? He's worth millions, smokes weed for a living and he gets to make shitty movies as a hobby

Come on, that girl is Jay's kid.

Stop making excuses for those gross flat square asses.
inb4 "hurr durr nigger fat diaper asses"
You know what I mean.

to each his own I guess, but I'm 100% sure almost everyone would agree that ass is repulsive

ok but whats his excuse for taking photos of himself crying about superhero movies?

Could be a harsh shadow

most of the people who have been photographed with him look as though they are embarrassed to have been photographed with him

Well here's a hint

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99% of nigresses look like squat gorillas. it's fucking disgusting and makes niggers look like they're devolving.

They may find it uninteresting, but "repulsive"?

Weed ruined Kevin Smith.

In more ways than one

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>makes niggers look like they're devolving.
you mean they aren't?

why the fuck does he keep faceposting
is he a teenage girl now

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>More deflections
Lot of bluster for the man defending the phrase "Tight, accessible, with the cunt nicely displayed." In reference to this

it's ugly to look at becouse of these reasons

I was the "Tight, accessible, with the cunt nicely displayed" poster, and I haven't posted anything about "nigresses". Believe it or not, more than one person in this thread appreciates the lady's rear.

Bizarrely excessive reaction. Can only assume you're into the feeder/gainer lifestyle.

what was the kevin smith reference in captain marvel and why did it reduce him to tears?

I didn't say the user said it. I said he was defending it.

>In more ways than one
Tell me what you mean by that. I think I know, but tell me... :)

there's nothing wrong with her body, DeSquarious. now go make yourself useful and be the next police shooting victim.

Oh I see. Well I think he has a point, some people have become obsessed by the T H I C C/culo grande thing.

you love man ass nigg

I kind of want to fuck his daughter. She isn't that hot, or at least she isn't my type, not super attracted to her or anything, but for some reason I just feel this incredibly powerful lust for just fucking plowing her hard, choking her, spitting on my fingers and putting them in her mouth, just really fucking giving it to her, all while thinking about Kevin Smith and his stupid podcasts and dumb stoner movies and his hockey jerseys and fat fucking face.

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He FUCKS her raw in front to Kevin.

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The size of the ass isn't the problem per se. It's the poor shape. The first user remarked on the shape, and I continued remarking on the shape. The thing that frustrates me, is that white people will swear up and down that shape matters, and then call an ass like that "great". Clearly, by your standards, shape doesn't matter.

he's such a tool

Feels good to not know desu

I'm definitely not a chubby chaser
pic related is what I think of when I think "ideal ass"

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I like how it took him 45 years to start wearing adult clothes. Still acts like a 14 year old cuck.

Stan Lee did a one-scene cameo role as Stan Lee in Mallrats Kevin Smith's second movie he made back in the 90s. In Captain Marvel, which takes place in the 90s, Stan Lee's cameo was him riding on a bus, practicing his lines for Mallrats.

>youtube.com/watch?v=1vJpAXf5wyk

As for why it made him cry, beats me. Though, it would be pretty fucking sweet to go see a movie that you're super excited about and think is cool, and see they're kind of paying homage to you in a way. Or at least that you've made enough impact on the world that you exist in the MCU.

>youtube.com/watch?v=1vJpAXf5wyk

I want to fuck her, but that's because she has a hot body with an unusual, pleb filter face.

>As for why it made him cry, beats me
Kevin cries about anything. Literally anything. He recently cried reviewing Endgame.

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I can't choose an ideal ass. To me that's like naming one film the greatest film.

yet there are awful movies

What a fucking loser

Fucking crazy. Somebody must have gotten him really convinced that men need to show their emotions, and that men crying has to be normalized, because it's like the dude's on a mission. Probably his wife.

This, Kevin is a good boy and I'm happy for him.

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coglione

>As for why it made him cry, beats me.

I hate comic books and comic book movies, and I also hate Kevin Smith's approach to cinema, Stan Lee's influence on the world, and the nerdiverse they both inhabited, fed and fed off of, but I'm getting a little misty at that. It's about time, man. Time, aging, memory, love. The older you get the easier you'll cry at this stuff. Penn Jillette once said something like "After a certain age, sad tears and happy tears are the same thing." It's that.

Fucking faggot

His dad died at a young age, it was probably his mom

>tfw pushed down sadness and hurt when she left
>tfw haven't cried in years, over anything
>stoicism.jpg
>tfw feeling a reservoir of dark, almost primal sadness inside

H-ha what a faggot..

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The next Jay and Silent Bob joint should be based on Jay and Smith's real life happenings where the film version of Jay has become a common garden variety junkie and Silent Bob becomes a sobbing heart attack survivor.

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yesssss

J A P E
A
P
E

I just like a wider range of shapes than you because I'm not obsessed. You're like Howard Hughes measuring his ham and eggs with a slide ruler.

Shut the fuck up you retarded wanker

Nah hes just insecure in photos and thought making this face made him look his best

Would you fuck that ass if it belong to this ugly mug tho

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wew lad

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nasty dog fucker

>I just like a wider range of shapes than you
You're right. I don't like squared asses with an odd amount of space in between. Maybe you could stand to be a little more discerning.

Just imagine Harley bonding with her "uncle" Jay. She feels feelings she can't categorise... he knows the truth, but is provoked more than he wants to be by her flirtations and lingering looks attraction. One evening she comes over. He's on the verge of taking heroin again to ease the pain of not being able to tell her the truth about her parentage. She sees his distress, and hugs him. They kiss. He tells her the truth. She's so sad and torn by lust for him that he asks to join him in the heroin. He turns her on and a slow, drowsy, incestuous fuck ensues. The opiate's bliss saves them from madness, and Harley says she never wants to be without heroin... or her daddy's body. Drooling, Jay goes on the nod. Harley licks his penis clean and whispers "I'm not even supposed to be here today."

His dad died like ten years ago nigga.

I like her face as well.

You sound epicene, frankly.

Yeah, that must one of those hairpieces you wear for three weeks straight then toss into the trash.

omg i'm saving this pasta

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Get off Yea Forums, Kevin. Go edit or something.

Will americans ever shut up about Kevin Smith?

>created another human being
The whole soi lifestyle is based entirely around finding out how to make literally everything cringe tier

>40kid cannot into 4channel lingo
News at eleven.

Naw pardner, saddle up and git yer bottom goin', yee haw!

I take your flight into memeing as acceptance that there's more than one kind of delicious ass in this world.

You're the one who reduced the conversation to insults. Sorry, but you haven't made a single defence yet. You're just restating your opinion.

EMOTION MAN BAD

I didn't insult you. I said you sounded epicene. You did. You sound like someone who views women's beauty through an extremely narrow lens. Also, what's to defend? I have one taste, you have another. There's nothing shapeless about that ass, it's just a shape you don't like. The split is wonderful for, as I said, framing the cunt. It also invites the rimmer's tongue.

>Thanks for making me look not so 48 teehee
Embarrassing

He didn't start smoking weed until 2007

>he split is wonderful for, as I said, framing the cunt. It also invites the rimmer's tongue.
It's times like these, that I wish I had better reaction images.

>I said you sounded epicene.
That's an insult.

>what's to defend? I have one taste, you have another.
Right, you have shit tastes, I have good tates. If there's nothing to defend, then there is nothing to accept. Your opinion is meaningless. Except for its cringiness.

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This is complete bullshit and damage control. I guarantee you he never even thought of that whole "intentional look of shock about being in the business" until people started calling him a faggot for looking like that, so he had to try and come up with some explanation. And then he turned it into a humble brag about how grateful he is to rich and famous and making movies. I can't stand this insufferable crying bitch in manchild clothing.

Your opinion is equally meaningless.

You made yourself sound epicene. That's not an insult, it's just how you made yourself sound.

Where approaching the tenth anniversary of this poem and the twentieth anniversary of their relationship, we've got to put up something to commemorate it
How about a movie marathon?
Let's make it happen

What's so great about Kevin Smith?

I'm not the one praising square flat butts, and then proclaiming thickness is overrated, as a means to cover the fact that I actually like tony butts of no particular shape.

I didn't say thickness was overrated, I said people get obsessed with one type.

He's fun to made fun of

His whole life was a million-to-one shot.

>the proto soiboi face

>brown/taint-area
so romantic

ok, whatever, pedantic.

that's disgusting

He's a master of good taste

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That's reasonable

>The split invites the rimmer's tongue

I am so sad at what Kevin's become. Weed ruined him, the early pods were so fucking funny.

What has he become?

An unfunny loser who refuses to say anything negative about anything. The way he shittalked Reese Witherspoon is not something he would do today. Nor would he make fun of Tim Burton or that producer guy.

Oof he's become PC. What a faggot.

That's a shitty hair piece.

That too but he literally refuses to say anything bad even if it's a movie he loathed. Said something about spreading positivity when the world is full of negativity. A complete faggot.

>Kevin Smith will die in your lifetime

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NNNNNNNG

So he'll post pics of himself crying over fucking movies but can't post one of crying while his mother lies half-dead in a hospital bed.

Seems like he's spreading aids with this kind of mentality. He is helping no one.

Sauce?

probably because the internet fucked with his head when suddenly everyone had a microphone to shit talk instead of just him.

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Maybe he wanna show his mama he strong

I think it's Fire Walk with Me

I miss hearing him say "Greazy Reezy". Talking about Reese.

hes ripped under that jersey

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>wh*te ass
Yikes

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Pretty sure it's the weed. If you listen to his pod you can tell everything about him changed, even the way he talks.

Dude walked around like a school shooter

>that """ass"""
White girls are disgusting

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youtu.be/dY8_vZXo8oY

>Listens to Johnny Cash once.

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I gotta see that.

That Silent Bob likes getting dicked
>which clearly shows in his movies and his writing

WATER GOOD

looks like he caught himself doing the face

>is he a teenage girl now
why cant this be me

Why not just smile like a normal person?

He looks like a dried mummy

His hair is strawy and his skin looks really taut

>i have two personalities

This tweet is reverse-kino. It does everything wrong all at once. Like, poetically wrong.
Even when you just skim it, the following phrases stand out, in order:
>Ten years bone cheating WITH each other
>decade-plus clit brown taint-area pOwns dick
It's just a fucking ugly read. I would say it's made worse knowing who is posting it about whom, but honestly I can't imagine any two people who could make this sound less ugly. It reads like some feminist manifesto strawman chauvinist character bragging to his friends in the most "disgusting" way possible. If he intentionally wrote this to sound, feel, and look as unattractive as possible, he did a damn fine job.

dr. stark I'm fatman

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This isn't even white ass anymore. This has gone over the line into asian ass. A pitiful sight.

/r/ing that twitter post in which he goes in detail about his wife's asshole and then tags his daughter in the same post

What a shitty thing to say publicly about your wife

father and daughter. cmon.

The iron gut. he could easily look just like RDJ/TS if he lost a bit more weight

Honestly if he did that intentionally to punish his daughter for spending too much time on social media that's pretty based. Wait, actually, it would probably be more based to be direct about communication with your daughter instead of being passive-aggressive, so I take that back. Cringe and betapilled. The guy is an eternal 13-year-old.

>diaper butt

your 'love' gets on second place because youre a fat insecure idiot who gotta tell that you have poop dick with what look like alannis morissette mumified body.

>page liked

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Dicklet can't handle at actual ass. Stick to that manbutt lmfao

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>tfw my wife has a worse ass than that but weighs 30 more pounds than her

JUST

From watching too much capeshit on paper.