Imagine sacrificing your own precious life to save the life of chad's offspring that bullied you through your youth and...

Snape wanted to fuck Harry?

Absolutely this. There is no logic in Snape to love her. Childhood friends, but the slut Llily abandons him for the bully the first chance she gets.

have sex

James was a chad?

Yes.
>popular guy
>gets away with everything up till nonose comes around
>fucks all the bitches
>is a good wizard
>good looking

>>good looking
Meh, not really. He looks like the classic nerd, glasses and all. But I guess that is a Chad in the wizarding world.

jak baroo

looks like none of you have read any of the HP books, eh?

Yes, he was. He remained a virgin after the chad jock stole his love. James was a purebred chad.

No u,cuck

Snape was a Yea Forums user

>master of potions
>actually gets to enter the scene of the crime after deh’s death
>comes in contact with Lilly’s body

Do you people have ANY doubt of whether or not he has a lifetime supply of her hair to make polyjuice potion which he makes prostitutes drink before he fucks then?

>snape
>having sex

Should have just slipped Harry a polyjuice potion and raped him. That would have been alpha as fuck.

Has JK also tweeted that Snape was a virgin?

It's kinda terrifying when you think about it like that. That's fucked up.

But I can't really deny that Snape continuing to love her to that degree makes no fucking sense whatsoever.

Post tits

Failing to readdress the usual "rape is a serious problem in Hogwarts" meme, he most definitely went around drugging women and possibly even students being the creepy beta cuck he was.

I always hated that stupid backstory of him falling in love with Harry's mom, why couldn't they just keep it as Snape getting bullied by Harry's dad and wanting to teach his son to be a better man?

>never watched these movies
>turns out its all about of old people caring about shit from their school days and projecting those feelings onto their children
why did kids like these books.

>literal
No.
Because he was never in a relationship with Lily.

Everything up until the point Voldemort comes back to life was pretty good

wait, snape is a person from harry potter universe? is he not gay? :OOO

The Vatican tried to warn us but we didn't listen

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women really love the desperate beta orbiter plotline

makes them feel special and unique without reciprocating anything whatsoever

I've always wondered, why did Harry's parents live in a muggle neighborhood despite being such prominent wizards?
What did the police determine at the crime scene?

Next snape will want to see his tight little asshole to see if he has his mother’s turd cutter

Why didn't she love snape? He loved her so much

sure he was cucked but Harry was also the chosen one, so he also helped save the wizarding world

Cause snape was a beta male. Women want the alpha male bad boy.

They didn’t. Goddricks hollow or something like that is one ornament the few wizard-majority places named in the series. Make of that what you wish.

Because he was creepy as fuck or something, I just don't get why he'd continue this obsession with her so many years after the fact (I mean she started seeing James when they were what, in elementary school).
There's like a thousand other chicks at the school you could get with and after graduation, why didn't he bang pic related?

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why was book 5 such a masterpiece bros

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she was voldemort's hoe

Don't stick your dick in crazy duhh.

Wish Fulfillment fantasy of JKR.

Guess I can accept that, I still don't get why they sent Harry to live with his abusive step-parents even after Voldemort was incapacitated (nor why Sirius Black was immediately blamed for Harry's parents' deaths despite him never showing signs of betrayal in the slightest).

He never struck me as someone who cared about getting laid, more just caring about gaining more power and followers.

Imagine being Snape and always being an Incel and never actually having sex.

I never realized Harry Potter was supposed to be a girl thing until a few years ago.
I guess I was one of the few boys who was obsessed with it growing up.

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The only way to get back at them would've been to deny Harry of his destiny and relentlessly and unmercifully tearing that ass up nightly

Imagine their ghosts watching him as he fucked their son

where is the harry potter poster??

oh it shows, user, it shows

snape is literally me except magic but I do drugs just like him

Anytime there is a "novel craze" it's a female dominated movement. HP, Twighlight, maze runner, that one sex book about a gray dude (forgot the name), the list goes on

The only time a book series gets popular without women is when it gets a movie about it (GoT)

We should ask the real question.
Who is the hairy poster???

It didn't really become a girl thing until the 4th or 5th movie came out and turned into a teen fanfic.

>turned into
user...

Dumbledore was somehow able to turn Lily's sacrifice into a blood ward that he cast over Privet Drive and was tied into Petunia. The details aren't important, it was some magic shit.

And The Potters and Sirius Black told everyone that he was the secret keeper, thinking that if someone wanted to get at them then they'd go after Sirius. It would have been a good plan had Wormtail not been a traitor.

He was a pretty big bitch yeah

It was big with everyone in my school dammit (at least the first few books and movies which were more of a fun fantasy world we'd all dreamed about).

Everything in the Ministry was just amazingly well done, and Sirius' death was heartbreaking. Then you turn the page and

>Chapter 36: The Only One He Ever Feared
Dumbledore dropping the crazy old man act and going full Super Saiyan was just pure hype

It's not. Now that we're no longer children people like to pretend that they never enjoyed it.

he did report the prophecy in the first place
bit of a penance for that really

you can still ask your daddy to read it to you as a bedtime story, cutie

I always felt like 6 and 7 couldn't gain back the hype that 5 had with Dumbledore fighting off Voldemort.

>65 posts
>no dullest franchise post

wtf is going on??

I like 6 the most because I just like Horace Slughorn as a character

Yeah, aside from the bit in the Inferi cave that was basically the end of the Epic Magic in the series, JK really should have had Dumbledore teaching Harry some cool tricks in their lessons in the sixth book so Harry could take over that role in Deathly Hallows and show the world that he was worthy of the 'Chosen One' praise that was being heaped on him. Spamming the disarming jinx really isn't fun or exciting.

Yes. He is the embodiment of a cuckold.

harry never is really victorious outside of some stupid deus ex machina type shit
one of the worst things in the series there's very little progression of harry's skills since books 3/4

Then why the fuck did you respond

Snape: But Lily, I love you.
James: lol she's mah bitch homie
Lily: Have sex you incel.
>years later
Snape: Harry, you have your mother's eyes...
Harry: Have sex lol.

Dipshit. Snape wasn't trying to save Harry because he liked him, or even because he liked his mother.
He sacrificed himself to his belief in the prophesy. Harry has to kill Voldy or Mr Evil rules for ever.
Snape sacrificed himself to save the wolrd from eternal darkness.
How do you fucking manchildren not understand this? Duh!

Holy fuck you're right

Dumbledore never told Snape the second half of the prophecy, and Snape didn't sacrifice himself, Voldemort murdered him because he thought it would gain him the allegiance of the Elder Wand.

This board is going to shit

>snape makes polly juice
>turns into lilly
>flicks his bean
So essentially he is a wizard tranny

Because muh fate and muh prophecy

She did until he started acting like someone who fucking browses /pol/ and offended her

C'mon. Snape was in Voldemorts camp, spying for the good guys. Why would he even do that unless he knew Dumpsterfire had a plan. And he knew Voldemorts gig was to rule for ever, so he'd have to be a fucking stupid fake evil sidekick to not realise the boss is going to murder him at some point.

It wasn't suppose to, but bitches will be bitches

Whe should ask the real question
WHY is the Harry Potter poster ??!?

Where is the fucking pasta?

religions say all other media is evil, even other religions. religions are a product with a brand to maintain like everything else

>but the slut Llily abandons him
she had every right to, he called her a nigger

How were there any lestranges left if they all died out in magical beasts 2?

Magical Beasts 2 is a fucking mess

>Dumbledore teaching DADA instead of transfiguration
>McGonagall teaching at Hogwarts before she was even born
>Secret Dumbledore brother born after both his parents had died

For the epic win

Unironical truth.

That entire movie is bullshit and primarily because they decided to tie into the bigger picture instead of just being about Scamander's adventures.

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How the fuck did they fucked up fb2 so much? They literally killed the series in one movie. At least SW has an excuse of being made by different people, but fb2 was literally written by the original auther and directed by the man who did the most hp films.

NNNNYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR

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because women cannot write a story that involves some form of romance

Rowling should contract out to a better writer (a man) for another book series instead of all of this stupid shit

snape unironically wanted to fuck harry cause of his resemblance to his mom.

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she was too busy banging tim burton

>fb2 was literally written by the original auther and directed by the man who did the most hp films.
What? Holy shit.

Why would Snape care about a dark ruler taking over the world especially when he used to follow him?
His only goal was revenge for his friendzone, he never gave a shit about the world.

Based

He must have had so much fun getting to fuck around in these movies

nah just his eyes
unfortunately there's not much you can do sexually with eyeballs

Kek

Just a pretext, she was already separating herself from Snape when he called her a muggle or whatever, that was just the perfect opportunity to make him the bad guy and her choice justified.

>How the fuck did they fucked up fb2 so much?

Same way they fucked up fb1. Rowling knows how to write novels, but not screenplays.

are you seriously vilifying her for distancing herself from someone who's noticeably getting more and more seduced by the dark arts? it's amazing they even lasted as they long as they did when they were taken by enemy houses. please have sex and see if that doesn't clear up whatever fog is raping your logic and reasoning

beta as fuck

yeah that's when it went from children's mystery fantasy whatever to some kind of retarded allegory for real world politics

based

and then everyone clapped

-You have your mothers ass

this

Seems to me that Snape's life would have been better if he had just killed james in secret while still turning on Tom.

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but fb1 at least was ok, I didn't like it but didn't have a problem with the direction they were going. fb2 is like running straight into a brick wall. Even retards don't do that.

Snape didn't defect until after Voldemort killed Lily.

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I don't know why you are surprised OP. The inclusion of cuckoldry is just par for the course for one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though r-right
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

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Imagine sacrificing your own precious life and time to one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though

"No!" The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

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I thought he asked Albus to ensure they were safe in return for his loyalty pre-murder?

>4 seconds apart
kek

This one is better, DESPITE the blatant absence of one "Clifford Runs for President"

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Okay but where does "catcher in the rye" rank?

Was about to say I only knew boys who read it growing up but then I remembered I never knew any girls then or now so it doesn't indicate anything.

These are too obvious

>GoT isn't a girl thing

The delusion here is astonishing.

The same reason as always obviously: worse genetical quality (looks) than his competition.

Too obvious?

>Story written by a woman. This is their idea of love, its what they want. A Chad to fuck and have children with and beta orbiters who spend their life as backup and extra safety resources for their Chad offspring

100% correct!!!FACT!!!

he was a homo who took refuge in the identity of unrequited love

I don't know

>have sex

Not with you Rowling!!!FACT!!!

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Yeah I didn't watch it either.

I didnt find out it was a girl thing until I just read your post.

I liked it because it's basically Harry Potter and His Fatal Fuck-Up. Dumbass knew he was a walkie talkie straight into Voldemort's mind, dumbass knew Occlumency was important, dumbass couldn't put two and two together and realize maybe he should learn Occlumency before Dumbledore AKA leader of the anti-Voldemort movement talks with him about important shit.

also rich

Harry did nothing wrong though, he went to the lessons and tried to do what he was told. It was Dumbledore's fault really, if he just said to Harry "by the way, Voldemort may try and trick you into going to the department of mysteries" or "did you know he can send you false visions" then he wouldn't have gone.

imagine sacrificing your own precious life to save the life of stacy's offspring that bullied you through your youth and fucked the man that you loved

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Serves the Potters right, they trusted the guy who literally turns into a rat