Why did a movie with such a cool title have to be so bad? Also, how in the fuck did it get such good reviews?
Why did a movie with such a cool title have to be so bad? Also, how in the fuck did it get such good reviews?
Austin Taylor
Anthony James
It's literal action from start to end.
>Inb4 the series wasn't like that
Jacob Walker
Well that's true though, the series isn't like that.
Tyler Rogers
Moral of the story is JJ is kino, but you have to keep it quiet. Both films were good
Jack Ross
So why did the black dude become an alien again?
I didn't understand this movie at all
Jaxson Jackson
I thought that Beyond was much better than Into Darkness. I remember not hating 2009 despite a vague irritation at some writing choices but I also haven't seen it since 2009 so I have a feeling my opinion will have changed.
That was Beyond, not Into Darkness.
Brandon Foster
>It's literal action from start to end.
Star Trek '09 was the same way, but the plot sort of made sense. ST(i)D is just incomprehensible from start to finish. The fanservicey remake of Star Trek II's climax was embarrassing and Khan's magic blood was the dumbest plot device ever employed in Star Trek. The script for "Threshold" was more intelligent than ST(i)D.
Christopher Evans
It follows the Abrams formula. The ragtag group of misfits are faced with a deathstar, so they sneak in the conveniently unguarded back door and blow it up. Same thing he did in the previous film. Same thing he did later on with Star Wars. He will keep using his formula in the future.
Isaac Wood
See, I've never seen the original so I enjoyed the hell out of into darkness. The KHHHHHAAAAANNNN was epic
Jason Jones
>See, I've never seen the original
Ah, well that really puts it into perspective how you're defending Abrams Trek without dying from crippling guilt.
Matthew Butler
Exactly.
Eli Martin
It's interesting that Rian Johnson gets all the credit/blame for "shitting on the fans" when Abrams did it not just with Star Wars but also with Star Trek. So many decisions in both movies feel like they were specifically intended to piss off long time fans but he gets a pass for it because he halfheartedly remade some scenes from the originals. Johnson doesn't do that and suddenly the facade cracks and people are rightfully mad. You have to give Johnson credit, at least he didn't try to piss in a jar and call it granny's peach tea. He was completely up front about what he was doing. Abrams was just a snake about it. It's probably because Johnson is not a member of any organized religion and thus he hasn't made a habit of lying to people.
Connor Rogers
Abrams cooperates with the suits that want to pander to gimmicks and focus group results. None of that troublesome "artistic vision" crap they might have to put up with from other directors.
Carson Thompson
Oddly enough, I grew up watching TOS reruns and enjoyed every Trek movie and series since (except Discovery which I have no desire to watch), including the 3 new movies. Maybe I just ignored the flaws because I loved the casting.
OTOH, never was a big Star Wars fan, watched the prequels and didn't hate them; but was thoroughly repulsed by TFA and TLJ.
Hell, I even liked Enterprise, so wtf do I know.
John Murphy
Into Darkness and Discovery are the only ones I can't stand. The reliance on star trek 2 without being half as good really hurts it, and Cumberbatch as a "perfectly genetically made" villain wasn't believable in the slightest. Guy looks like he has never eaten a steak in his life and he is battling having half a case of down syndrome. If that is what they got from genetic engineering it's no wonder they shut that shit down.
Asher Miller
Josiah Reed
>The reliance on star trek 2
I think that's why I don't care. I knew they were going to redo Kahn when the 2009 Star Trek reboot was announced. They would have been stupid not to, since the original was some of the best Trek ever (and Space Seed was a fantastic episode). And again, I couldn't have picked a better cast. Loved Robocop as Admiral BigBad, and Alice Eve in her skivvies was an honest callback to TOS.
Into Darkness was two hours of tits and lazers, and I'm fine with that.
Liam Howard
Okay, using the DC stuff for a Star Trek image has got to be trolling at this point so you know what? I applaud it.
Jaxson Gray
>two hours of tits
Bro it had one scene where he looked at a girl who was getting dressed and got embarrassed like an anime character and that was literally it in a PG-13 movie. Even from that angle it disappoints.
Parker Hill
I said tits, and LAZERS.
So what if it was 1% tits and 99% lazers?
TOS showed just enough cleavage to get their audience to watch for the stories.
JJ Trek had a hint of Alice Eve's bits onscreen for 20 seconds, and don't forget Rachel Nichols as a green whore in the 2009 movie.
Just enough tittilation (heh) without going overboard.
If you want Trek porn, there's a movie out there with Sasha Grey choking on Vulcan cock.
Trek was never about tits, but slutty green alien broads have always been a part of it.
Ryan Young
i wanted to watch the last one with the hot alien, but this shit dissuade me to ever touch that franchise again
Kayden Rivera
The KHAAAAN scene made no fucking sense and Lindeloff admitted that he didn't know the context and just the meme.
It's utter garbage.
Aiden Foster
The last 2 seasons of Enterprise might be the second best stuff that ever came out of Star Trek.
Lucas Wilson
Wrong, it's Vulcan Sasha Grey fucking Captain Kirk.
Jaxson Nelson
>Wrong, it's Vulcan Sasha Grey fucking Captain Kirk.
Excuse the fuck out of my penis for not giving a shit while blowing a nut onto my confused cat.
My point still stands: Trek is Trek. Porn is porn.
I can jerk off to either one, but I'm gonna need a few minutes more for Trek.
John Wilson
I have simple tastes.
Either I like shit, or I don't.
Enterprise had some dull and dragged out plots, but overall I enjoyed watching it.
Similar to JJ Trek, where explosions and chase scenes overrode the story, but I still enjoyed watching it.
STD still seems an abomination, though.
Easton Flores
How dare you not paying attention to your jerk off material.
Luis Scott
If you give anything too much attention, it goes from jerk off material to ex wife.
Protip: hookers are cheaper in the long run.
Elijah Robinson
it was pretty bad. I think it only gets praise because it wasn't actually directed by JJ. it might as well have been though.
Levi James
Beyond was the only one from the trilogy who took his source material seriously. Kirk was believable as a star fleet captain here, I always thought during the movie "Why not at that level from the beginning?".
ST09 and ID are both awful, 09 only wins in quality because ID exists, Beyond is a legit comfy and gud Star Trek movie but ironically the one with the least box office success.
If someone doesn't have watched the reboot movies I would say jump right into Beyond. You don't even have problems aside from the "dead old Spock" scene.
Parker Perez
>Trek was never about tits, but slutty green alien broads have always been a part of it.
I only recall two green alien broads from the original series off-hand: one is an illusion in "The Cage," and the other is one of the crazy people in "Whom Gods Destroy." So while it might be technically correct that they've always been a part of it because of a pilot that wasn't fully aired until like 1990 and a single other episode...
Isaac Hill
>I only recall two green alien broads
"Green Alien Broads" was a metaphor, user.
Cleavage has always been a part of Trek--Yeoman Rand, Deanna Troy in her skintight suit, Dax with her spots, Seven of Nine, T'Pol oiling up.
It didn't start with Alice Eve.
Owen Hill
>motorcycle stunts
>the beastie boys again
>the Enterprise gets her shit pushed in again
>the Enterprise still doesn't have shields
>villain is another "muh revenge" guy
>there will never be another costume designer like William Ware Thiess
;_;
Blake Barnes
Audiences arent that smart
John Torres
Samuel Rivera
Dunn Da Dunn Dunn, Da Da Dunn, Da Da Dunn Dunn!
Don't pretend Trek was ever more than glorified cheese.
Plenty to complain about, but not that.
Chase Stewart
We know you're just pretending. You can stop now.
Chase Robinson
Maybe because it is actually a good film and you have poor judgement?
Jordan Turner
I prefer the porn parody with april oneil as deanna troi getting nailed on the bridge chair.
Owen Carter
>I prefer the porn parody
That perfectly sums up 40+ years of Trek.
Which is why I don't understand everyone losing their shit over a few movies with modern special effects.