ITT: times you acted like The Joker

I went to a very little local fair at around midnight. There were a few people at something we call "once" stand (once is like having your breakfast as dinner).

I bought a coffee and churrascas. Went to grab a chair and put my earphones forgetting there was people. Then I pulled my phone and farted in front of everyone.

>take a shit on the toilet tank
>half of it slides off onto the floor
I CAN’T STAND IT
I NEVER PLANNED IT

>drive to work
>speed
ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE LEDGE

>argue for political beliefs that are the opposite of mine just to make people mad
ONE NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

>clog the toilet
>have my dad unclog it

>Go to the fridge
>Shake up all the cans of fizzy shit
>Hand it to gf
Heh. Another one Im proud of
>Gone to party full of pot smokers
>Weed everywhere
>one girl in particular OD'd a few weeks before on speed and is not allowed to do alcohol or drugs
>she still decides to hit the bong
>teach the dumb bitch and pour vodka into the bong
>she gets sick and gets hospitalised again
And they say weed isnt dangerous :^)

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Proof positive America has a straight white male terrorism problem.

based
dumb bitch

>rub my sweaty balls
>give someone a handshake

HES GOT WHOLE WORLD IN HIS HANDS

based mass reply poster

>murder 73 people
>never been to jail
a-am I d-doing it right, bros?

>Go into theatre for “Us”
>80% theatre is black, rest are woke white cucks
>White girls next to me with bangs and hipster cloths whisper about staying silent and making it a safe space for blacks to experience their film.
>suspenseful part begins
>black guy in movie is about to get killed
>clear my throat
>”YO THIS NIGGA FINNA BOUTA GET DABBED ON!”
>woke white people in my row look at me appalled and outraged.. like I just murdered babies and threw them into a wood chipper.
>suddenly all the blacks break out in applause and hoot joyously
>”You alright, whiteboy!”
>group of black girls in row behind:”He cute.”
>look over at woke whites who nervously slink deep into their chairs and avoid eye contact with blacks in the theatre...

Perlman please get off of Yea Forums.

>Be... Me
>About 14 Years Old at the time
>Go to Middle School in Florida
>It's always hot as fuck
>Girls wear disgusting lewd crop tops and short shorts
>Be in art class
>New Girl introduced to class
>She is wearing a sweater and jeans
>My eyes lit up
>Finally, a non degenerate girl!
>She sits next to me
>After a couple months we become friends
>Winter comes
>I go over to her house to hang out
>During that we start wrestling cause we were play fighting over a bag of chips
>She ends up on top of me
>Both blushing
>She gets off and apologizes
>I say it's fine
>Sit next to each other awkwardly
>Stare into each other eyes
>Suddenly we're leaning in for a kiss
>We kiss
>It's the most passionate and amazing kiss I ever had
>Suddenly mom walks in
>She gasps
>She says a boy's name
>I raise my eyebrow
>"My name is actually user"
>She says "I was talking to my son"
>I look at the "girl" beside me
>He looks at me worried and shocked
>He starts to cry
>I start to laugh
>I didn't know what else to do
>I just kept on laughing
>Then I started forcing myself to laugh
>Then I started screaming
>The mother literally had to drag me out of her house while I was having a mental break down
>Tfw I fell in love with a Trap
>Tfw that kiss was the most passionate I've ever had
>Tfw we live in Clown World

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>out on a walk in the cold winter
>its just me out on this trail
>come to a small lake and see someone in the middle of it
>get closer to them and somehow just as I get there, they fall through
>lock eyes with him as he pleased for help
>keep on walking
>the next day someone found him dead

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I post Sneed and then call my own post cringe.

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They call him the Joker.
He never tells any jokes

bro

You should have continued to date your non degenerate gf (male)

Why do you have to make up a story I'd want to be in? Imagine having a cute trap boyfriend.

>go to company expo
>grab free candy and merch
>rep tries to talk to me
>say nothing and walk away

TRIED AGAIN TO FINE THE THING THAT WAS MY MIND

FUCKING GOD DAMN IT YOU JUST MADE ME INCREDIBLY ANGRY BECAUSE I REALIZE I'LL NEVER BE HAPPY
MOTHERFUCKER

>professor asks a question
>raise my hand
>"yes user?"
>can i go to the bathroom?

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Wouldn't they say his real name in school?

>take shit in public
>dont wash my hands afterwards

NO ONE KNOWS WHAT ITS LIKE
TO BE THE BAD MAN

>fucking cross country flight
>go to lavatory, more killing time than anything else
>teenage hormones flowing, start jerking off
>bathroom is really cramped so have to do it standing
>see soap dispenser filled with creamy, gooey soap
>unscrew top
>cum in it
>close it back up, wash hands
>return to seat, put seatbelt on

Heh, oops. Teenage years are crazy, eh?

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>liberal college town
>day before all the students get back
>put up tons of signs and posters listing black crime rates
HA HA HA HA HAHA HA

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>go in public toilet
>see shit un flushed
>place in ass

I'm 40 and I've never known the touch of a woman. still waiting on wizard powers

I was with my older brother in walmart and he kept going on their P.A. system calling for common names to go to the service desk, and doing Dad Jokes. I said to let me try, so I put the mouthpiece to my ass and let out a fart worthy of Andre the Giant.

we got thrown out of the store for that.

>Friend tells me about his dead father
>I lost mine too and iktf
>Except I'm very embarassed about it for some reasons
>I just burst out of laughter when he tells me about that, IDK why, it's the only emotion that I could express
>All my friends look at me in shock

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27 here. Teach me your ways, wise master.
On second thought, don't. I'll be just like you anyway.

Clown world, bro. Clown world.

>sit in my room all day and don't do shit
THAT'S WHY THEY CALL ME MR. FAHRENHEIT

You are fucking sick, im not even joking I literally cannot wrap my head around that train of thought, im actually afraid of going insane if I keep looking at this thread.

frrrruuuuuuuuunkis

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Only after surviving a near death experience did I start heading in Jokers direction

>leave PC on when I'm not using it, intentionally wasting electricity
I'm a damaged soul

>Hold the door open for someone who's at least 50 feet away, making them run to the door out of courtesy
>Close it when they get close
I'VE GOT BLISTERS ON MY FINGERS

>go in public bathroom
>pick first stall
>take massive, side splitting dump
>have to stop halfway through because I can’t feel my legs
>try to stand up but my legs are asleep
>get pushed along the ground by the explosive force of my own shit
>shit everywhere
>the walls, the ceiling, the floor all covered in the family feces recipe
>cry a little
>shit a lot more
>the smell is unbearable
>walk outside
>a bunch of 2-edgy-4-u cringelords are wearing shirts with my face on them and stuttering through my quotes to try and convince teenage girls that they’re dark and mysterious instead of boring weebs addicted to masterbation

>say I’m 6’1 on tinder
>actually 6’0
Very cheeky of me

I was struggling with depression a year ago and would cry and then laugh at myself

lucky fuck

>have a bad day at school
>lick my dog’s butthole
>feel better

all it takes is one bad day

When I put on clown makeup and started laughing in the subway

>convince family and entire friend group that i'm happy and headed toward success
>i'm not
ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAR FACES

>Waiting for subway
>listen to the trailer song
>look down at my custom clown shoes
>laugh insanely
> wait for tough guys to approach me
>10 minutes laughing
>nothing
>stand up
>start doing the joker ballet dance
>noone gives a shit
>do a really fast spin
>hit a 6 year old on the back of the head
>he falls face first onto train tracks
>hear a thump and a AREeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
>Mother panics
>people start to point me out
>hop onto tracks
>quick come on!! toss him up!!
> look at the kid
>broken jaw
>panic
>start running in a straight line
>hear a black guy say YOOO!!
>keep going
>hear subway coming
>people screaming
>kid probably didnt make it
>keep running for a while in the tunnels
>get home smelling like a hobo
>mom asks me what I want for dinner
>What about Subway?
>smile and bow in the middle of the kitchen
>older brother walks by
>"have sex"
>fucking evan.

>go in public bathroom
>take dump in stall
>flush it
>exit stall
>wash my hands
>wake up in poopy bed

I'm always acting like The Joker. He's my role model. teeheehahahohaheeheahahaheHAHAHaHAhAHAhaHAhAHAhHAHAHAhAHahAh

In middle school and high school I caused mischief a few times.

Middleschool
> Kid was an asshole to me so i punted his roller backpack off the 2nd story of the school
> Same kid was being an asshole to me so i put a strawberry milkshake in his backpack when he was not looking and paid a diffrent kid to kick his backpack multiple times while douche kid was wearing it on the way back to class. I was trying to hard no to laugh when douche kid opened his backpack in class and it looked like Omaha Beach.

High School.
Kid pushed me down when i was walking.
> Had bio class with him, was first in one day and teacher when in supply room, i dont know why but i turned the kids desk upside down and he came in and started putting it back as teacher came back, he got into an argument with the teacher about messing with the desks and got sent to detention.
> I took the same kids hat and threw it from the computer lab into the library when we had to go into a side room for a presentation and he had a meltdown trying to find it.
> A different kid talked shit to me all the time so i took a half empty water bottle and clocked him in the head from the 2nd story as he was walking to class on the ground floor. I didnt see it hit, but I heard it connect and an "AHHHHHHHHHHH"

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In the new DCEU this is how Batman is created, his mom is a pedo and the joker killed his dad

_________________________________________________________________kino

>> A different kid talked shit to me all the time so i took a half empty water bottle and clocked him in the head from the 2nd story as he was walking to class on the ground floor. I didnt see it hit, but I heard it connect and an "AHHHHHHHHHHH"

> Same kid was being an asshole to me so i put a strawberry milkshake in his backpack when he was not looking and paid a diffrent kid to kick his backpack multiple times while douche kid was wearing it on the way back to class. I was trying to hard no to laugh when douche kid opened his backpack in class and it looked like Omaha Beach.

kek these are Kino.

>bored at school
>have idea
>steal friends backpack
>go to back of classroom
>empty backpack
>flip it inside out
>grab ziplock of my own shit out of pocket
>put in backpack
>put everything back in
>zip backpack
>finish day at school
>get home
>it was my backpack

I bought a second phone to get around a rangeban in a movie chatroom just to inconvinience the administrators with banning me again.

>Go to see Endgame
>shout IRON MAN DIES
>throw popcorn and everyone who shouts at me

THE JOKE WAAAS ON MEEEEE

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gottem

Same. Stay strong bros we will get laid one day...

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Fuck you you piece of shit I have your fucking IP addresses. I know where you fucking live. Stay off my fucking website you crazy fucking schizo

I work for American Airlines and part of my job is cabin appearance AKA aircraft cleaning and restocking. I got news for you pal.

I came in it before you did.

DON'T STOP ME NOW! I'M HAVIN' SUCH A GOOD TIME! I'M HAVIN' A BALL!

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fuck you piece of shit

ONE

NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

My life has been mostly down hill since. I cant get away with shit like that anymore.

With the water bottle story, I figured he would come looking so i waddled to the door of the inside of the building across from the balcony, just to make sure no one could see me from below. Dont think anyone saw me, but if they did, i must have looked really retarded

I literally can't even express how sorry I feel for the youth that this may turn into an increasingly real possibility that this happens regardless of if this is fake or not. I mean I don't actually give a shit about the youth, but the fact that this kind of thing may happen more often is stomach turning to me, literally absolutely fucking disgusting.

>Tip: 0.00
SOMEBODY STOP ME

Nah, not me. I'm a fag that loved a guy but I was ultimately rejected years ago, yet I don't want to even look at other people. A bad case of onenitis got me good.
At least I'll have the "die a virgin" achievement.

I did this once to test it. The dominos delivery guy looked at the receipt and his face went from smiles to a flat disgusted look.

M8, dont be mad, she knew not to do drugs and I fucking taught her the lesson she will hopefully not repeat again

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What a rollercoaster of emotion that was

Try 23

25 here but I'm a vocel

This is probably fake but if it isn't I cannot even begin to express how unbelievably jelly I am of you. Jfc

This isn't true

based

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>people being jealous of being fucking lied to because of "le cute trap boi"
God damn I hate you all and I want to deglove your arms

Based boomer dad

>grandad tells me on his deathbed to have a good life
>ruin it with drug abuse
ARE YOU
SICK LIKE
MEEE?

>go to my local kinoplex for the avengers movie
>previously watched the cam version
>yell "iron man dies while snapping his own infinity gauntlet to wipe thanos's forces"
honk

>go to Yea Forums
>Roll trips in a suicide thread on Yea Forums
>tell him to shot his head of with a shotgun
>Make a livestream
>Laugh
>Then cry and feel like shit, because he really did it

I am so sorry

>poop my pants

how did they build another gauntlet?
isn't the whole thing pretty much fucked?

Psycho

>take a shit
do americans really do this?
in my country we leave ours

I've seen a large portion of the joker film. ama

>putting a space after the >
what the fuck is wrong with Yea Forums, why is it full of newfags

>out on a nightwalk in town, all alone
>suddenly feel a massive need to shit
>realize I had taken laxatives the night before because of constipation
>I am too far away from home to safely make it to the toilet before shitting myself
>waddle into a parking garage and let loose an explosion of liquid shit the likes of which I hadn't seen in years upon the sidewalk
>notice a sign that says something about camera surveillance
ONLY THE STRONGEST WILL SURVIVE

does he utter the phrase?

LOOKIN' COOL, JOKER

I fucking knew it. Based moeposters were always in on it

As a cleaner those really hit right in the fee fees. It's your guys fault if someone like me turns into a real life Joker.

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Yes, the great US of A we all carry poop bags, which are small scented plastic bags. When we need to defecate in public, we simply find a private location, drop trou, and pick up the mess to transfer to a trash can or use it for fun, creative pranks. Sometimes when we need extra poop we’ll just keep an eye out for a baggie in a trash can and grab it, hence the phrase “take a shit”.

Whereas you third world fucks just shit in the streets like animals.

>it just takes one shitty day

>Bowl with candy on the counter
>Sign says: "Please take one"
>Take three
I NEED A WITNESS TO MY LIFE IT WASN'T THIS WAY ALL THE TIME

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>poop

A MILLION DEGREES

>my

THAT’S WHY THEY

>pants

CALL ME MISTER FAHRENHEIT

>go on Yea Forums
>call everyone I dont like incels
HA HA HA HA HA

Dude that’s too far

N

I yelled at a woman who wouldn't let me use the lift when I was at the town hall. I was at the town hall for being 'aggressive towards my mother'. (this was like when I was 16 or so). anyway I'm going down stairs. yeah that was it I wanted to walk down the whole flight of stairs but this fat cunt was saying I need to use the lift. lift's make me claustrophobic so I just shouted at her right in the middle of the waiting room. "FUCK OFF YOU FAT CUNT I DO WHAT I WANT!"

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did you fuck her in the end? she sounds awesome.

>bitch teach' tells me to be quiet
>ok.jpg
>decide im actually gonna do what she says this time
>skip forward 20 mins, class is ending
>we all need to say bye in french when she shouts au revoir
>i stay quiet
>as everyone is packing up she asks if anyone has any questions
>i have questions i want to ask but i hold them in and leave

OH WA A A AH A

t. reddit
there is no such this as too far on Yea Forums, am i right fellow oldfags?

>Florida

>go to theater to see "us" to support blacks and be woke and fight the patriarchy
>bring my wife's son so she can have time to hang out with her friend Tyrone
>An evil WHITE MALE says "yo dis nigga finna bout to get dabbed on
>gasp at such racism and cover my wife's sons ears
>the poor oppressed blacks start clapping and hooting
>smile slick back my rainbow colored hair
> try to impress my wife's son with how woke I am
>say "hey this nigger is about to get dabbed on"
>the poor oppressed blacks must not have realized I'm on their side
>They say "what you say wite boi?!?"
>They beat the shit out of me and rape my wife's son

That's right my fellow gamer

No sir, I’m the Yea Forums police and you hurt that young man’s feelings, I’ll have you know I’m tracking your IP address and I’ll be giving your mother a call.

>Reply in thread about how you've acted like Joker
>lie

GTFO normie

My god, he's chaos incarnate!

>Finally, a non degenerate girl!

Faggot

based

>Join friends to watch latest capeshit
>they ask me if i enjoyed it afterwards
>say i did
>but i dIdn't
AHAHA, THE JOKES ON YOU

>download camrip of endgame
>limit seed to 5kb/s
>delete torrent instant it hits 100%
HURRY UP WITH MY DAMN CROISSANT

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>did vid related for most major capeshit movies and GoT
AHA HAHAHA AAHHAAHHAHA

>finish eating pizza
>put pizza box in recycling bin knowing fully well that pizza boxes cant be recycled due to the grease that stains them

GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM

Haha you fucking cuck...

I do that with every torrent

youtube.com/watch?v=4x_WUb68RQo
forgot link

>NOOOO YOU BITCH, YOU BITCH

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Weak, a real joker would just mumble it quietly under his breath do you even life is comedy bro

Yeah I kekd at that hard when I first saw that vid. This one is good too. Guy is literally in a jester costume. Fucking clown worlding in 2007
youtube.com/watch?v=G-lU204jsiw

>shot
>of
Come on ESL retard.

based and rednosed

the original clown world

Underrated post

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>have full on pyschotic breakdown
>tattoo “damaged” on my forehead
>dye hair green
>buy all purple wardrobe
>buy decks of 52 joker cards
>poop my pants

PUT ON A HAPPY FACE

OH NO NO NO NO NO

>go to McDonalds
>take the first straw from the dispenser and put it in the bin so I can get a clean one
I hope a turtle choked on it!
HA HA HA HA HE HE HEH HEH HE HE HA HA HAH! YOUR MOVE BATSY!

>at friends house in 6th grade
>he has a pet hamster
>ask to hold it
>little asshole pisses on my hands
>yeet that nigger off the balcony
>friend cries for 2 hours until his parents get home
>my parents make me mow all the neighborhoods lawns for money for a whole summer and give all the money to friend
>he still never talks to me again
>never made another friend for my whole life
>still don't regret it that hamster piss smelled terrible

DISRESPECT YOUR SURROUNDINGS

>Be this guy ^
>tell this story as the OP in a thread yesterday on /r9k/
>repeat it today in a jokeman thread on Yea Forums
>think no one will notice and call me out
Hows man-mouth taste FAG?

I keep telling people the ending to avengers, gonna get my ass beat soon

>go to a restaurant during lunch hours
>one table left
>a family of four is waiting in line behind me
>instead of asking some guy sitting on his own to share his table with me, I sit down at the free table
>the family remains standing, holding their food, like retards

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I hate you

>everything posted on Yea Forums is true
You’re definitely straight then pal

>sneeze
>coworker says "bless you"
>dont accept the blessings of their phony god

HE WAS A SKATER BOI SHE SAID SEE YOU LATER BOI

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>shot up a movie theatre during Batman premiere

craziest fucker itt right there

>on overnight school trip
>stop at McDonald’s
>get big styrofoam cup for tea
>get back to hotel with friends
>have great idea
>drink tea
>poop in cup
>open window
>fuck yes no screen
>throw poopcup into pool of hotel next door because nobody’s outside to aim at

HEY NOW YOURE AN ALLSTAR

Do americans really tip every time? Here you only really tip in posh restaurants or if the waiter is very nice.

Despite what people on Yea Forums say . Joker is redpilled as fuck. And this kino is actually very smart microcosm of what unplugging is look like today. See for yourself :
> Child in incomplete family, only mother left. (thanks wokness and feminism for ruining traditional marriage institutions).

> Without strong father figure kid receives feminine traits (be good boi , make people smile, make no conflicts , be polite , do not argue with anyone) and suppresses his masculinity by thinking it's mental illness.

>Obviously with this mindset boy grows into a miserable man that is not capable of defending himself and attract normal fertile women (he dates single mother with low SMV).

>After some braking point his worries turns into the fury. Gradually he embraces his true nature and learns machiavellism over fantasy rules that has been holding him.

>Rekts the system that indoctrinates people with bluepill femme propaganda

I don't know who director is , but mask this bomb into woke movie is priceless. I will have my popcorn definitely when people will start to see what went viral.

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>enrol in 2 subjects for uni term
>drop to 1 before financial/academic liability
>get 2 free weeks of public transport at concession rates
WE GOT TO INSTALL MICROWAVE OVENS

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>I'm the mom
>this guy's gf(male) is actually a girl, but give her a guy name to confuse people

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Fuck

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>Use bathroom at friend's house
>Take a shit in cistern
>Friend is flooded with shit next time they flush toilet
WE PULL JESUS FROM A HAT, GET INTO THAT, GET INTO THAT

>in Elementary school, birthday of one of my friends
>went with him to all the different teachers, because birthday meant getting a sticker/candy/marbles from every teacher
>when one teacher wasn't looking, I grabbed a sticker as well
HA HA HA HAHAAHA

Same bro

I'd do the same

Have you really?

>be me 15 in vacation with my female cousins
>Northerner girl 5 years younger than me joins me and my cousins
>doesn't like me and punches me sometimes
>my cousins and her are drawing some stuff
>kid's mom calls her
>I completely destroy her drawing
>when she arrives, she chimps out and asks loudly while crying "who did this?"
>my aunt asks her to leave and never come back
DON'T MESS WITH ME
NO NO NO

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this one time I asked my sister if she wanted a sweet, then when she said yes please I said haha I don't have any sweets and she said "ohh" and looked at her feet two sides to me my nice guy side and my DARK SIDE but I'm not two face or the riddler but in fact the joker

>people always tell me to smile because I’m depressed
>only had my mother growing up, no dad in the picture
>of course I wind up a little weird
>parties and friends not an option, always working
>make my first real friend through work, asks if I want to go to a cirque de solei themed rave with him
>yolo I guess, I don’t know anything about the circus though
>put on some clown makeup the night of the rave, dye my hair
>a pack of niggers start yelling at me while I wait for the subway
>niggers won’t stop, they start to punch and kick me and knock me to the ground
>they pull off my pants and take turns raping my tight lil boi pucci, eventually I pass out from blood loss and wake up hours later
>smile and read the first letter of each line

>poop other people’s pants

holy fuck
you're an actual psychopath

tfw u see a black person and it's like WTF clown world

gay faggot. go kiss a cute trap, faggot biggot shit.

>offer to take coworkers to work training because they dont drive
>quit my job and leave them 2 hour drive away from their homes and go to macdonalds then home
>block their numbers

Please tell me that this picture isn't real.

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TWO

NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

>read this post
>dont laugh
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
LET THE BODIES HIT THE

>She says a boy's name
shoulda change his name to a unisex and changed how his gender was revealed. woulda been more believable

>In argument on Yea Forums
>Opponent posts anime picture
>make fun of him for liking anime when infact I also like anime

I hope this is real

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>visit sister
>cum in her shampoo bottle
SOMEBODY STOP ME

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