Have sex, Ornella

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There have been dozens of great unbeatable comebacks through the years.
The glock one especially. It's just a funny meme so it keeps going

WE NEED MORE TIME!

I dare you to post a single one.

>you don't need to resort to my matchmaking skills, Ornella. You're still somewhat young, I'm sure there is a man out there for you.

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>*pulls out glock*..."Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You were saying? No please, continue... I'd love to hear the rest of this fantasy of yours. EVERYONE ELSE SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP! What's the matter, frog got your tongue? You seemed so talkative before, what changed? Oh this? Yeah, this is normal to carry where I'm from, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the first real one you've seen. No, don't look at anyone else, look at me. Look at me because I'm the one in control of your life right now. I'm in charge. No, don't cry, that's not going to help you. Not even a little. Wanna know why? Because at this very moment, here and now, as far as you're concerned I'm God and unless you play your cards right, I could very well be the last thing you ever see. So save your tears for someone who cares and choose your next words really fucking carefully now you stupid French bitch. You disgusting whore. Because this is my show now and your fifteen minutes are almost up. Now tell me what you are. Repeat what I just called you. And start taking off your clothes as you do it. Yeah that's right. One piece at a time. Right here and now on national television. Be thankful, I'm about to make you a star..."

She's happily married.

Incel-tier cringe.

So you're THAT guy, huh.

yeah and her initial insult is whore-tier cringe

The answer is this- If he had actually defended himself, called her out for weight shaming him and being a general whore. Its not that hard. I don't know what the exact words would be, but they don't have to be very clever.

You got her, Jonah.
You can rest now.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

t. Jonah

Whores beat incels like scissors beat paper.

Should’ve gone the Cruise route: why would you do that? you’re a jerk

>we will, as soon as you leave. walk slowly though ok? don't cause a tremor like last time

Have sex.

Only good-looking people can pull that off without looking like a bitch.

The truth is, the game was rigged from the start. Jonah's just too ugly and fat for any sort of comeback to work to his advantage.

youtu.be/fEa7uWfjFc8?t=2

Exactly. He did not even try to defend himself. Why are we defending him??

Nice tumblr post

only one I've seen is when jonah gets up and farts into the mic

This is probably my favorite.

have gender

>Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

We aren't defending him.
We're imagining ourselves in his situation.
It's a thought exercise.

this one is my favorite

Awful

>and you go away.
>Nah I'll stay and watch, I like to watch.

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"Oh yeah? Well the JERK store called, they're running out of you!"
If that somehow doesn't work, "I had sex with your mother!"

this one is really good

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There absolutely have not.

>If I remember correctly I'm actually here to talk about the movie War Dogs, not whore frogs.

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Good one, but will be lost in translation.

Jonah handled it the best. She just looked like a cunt and he stayed respectful.

>What was that? Warthogs? Sounds interesting, so how much weight did you have to lose for the part?

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OH you are such a whore, I love it.

Damn it, we had her!

FUCK YOU

I never asked for that kind of power!

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WASTED

I was pretty fond of the one where he says that he's not surprised that the French are being unwelcoming to a jew

Have sexts
Also kys

MORE TIME

Jonah here, you guys know that I actually lost the weight after this right, stop making these threads

>You're on my time Ornella

Hey dude, glad you've joined us.
Have you managed to come up with a fitting comeback?

pathetic convoluted response, work more

>my wife tells me that every night

I mean someone said to just shoot her that's not so bad I guess

THE JERK STORE CALLED

>you're such a fucking ho, I love it

there

Jonah's brappost is his best bet

>INCEL!
>ROASTIE!
wow what a time to be dead inside

>what does this have to do with the movie im trying to promote? did i come here just to get made fun of? let me guess you peaked in high school and youre constantly trying to relive your high school days by trying to pick on the fat kid, is that it? well guess what this fat kid is a multimillionaire thats famous all around the world youre some irrelevant weather girl way past her prime who no one will remember. so go ahead make your funny jokes to distract you from your miserable life ornella in the end ill be the one laughing.

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ive been at this shithole for 13 years and this is honestly one of my favorite things ive ever seen here

>you peak the Richter scale every time you walk outside Jonah!

Have sex.

>leave me alone, you big bully

Good shit

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this meme is pretty much the perfect allegory for incels vs women -- the harder they try, the more they struggle, the angrier they get, it only makes them look that much more pitiful

youtube.com/watch?v=6DGNZnfKYnU

"And then what?"

The only way out is for Jonah to feign ignorance of her euphemism, forcing Ornella to either let it go or have to explain in greater detail that she's talking about her whorish desire to get DP'd by two strangers in a hotel room.

>You'd go through all that just to get turned down?
Aside from it being a good, short, to the point quip, a "you're fat lol" joke would look petty and unbanterous on her end.

>What kind of joke is that? Why would you ever say something like that?

Counter this ornella shills

>*calls up leo*
>Hey bro would you rather fuck me or some French wanna be bitch?
>*Leo is absolute bro-tier and more or less understands what's going on *
>You bro. Why the fuck would I touch some std ridden bitch?
>Guess what Ornella? It's always gonna be a fantasy, never a reality

Aren't you married? Not happily I am assuming if your fantasy don't involve your husband

>*pulls out cell phone*
>"Yeah Brad & Leo, this Ornella girl said she wants to have sex with you both. What? You're not into roasties? Okay, then."
>"They said they'll think about it."

WE'LL GET HER NEXT TIME

Leo is definitely not a bro to Jonah. No one is a bro to Jonah
youtube.com/watch?v=MZKiRRYNn1s

stop making these threads jonah

>you are too old for leo, and you'd have to adopt a bunch of african kids for brad

there has been one which I also forgot, but it basically counter attacks and downplays her looks. If she insists on attacking again on my obesity, I would gain attack on her looks and age. You never go morally high, you just keep pummeling on her insecurities as she does to you in this trench warfare of emotional abuse

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based trips, and that would've destroyed her

>*whips out dick*
>What we have here my little French sistah is a magnificent specimen, pure Ashkenazi white worm. Now say "merci beaucoup"

Based Satan helping poor Jonah out.

Why didn't Jonah just rape her to death on French television? You know sodomize her asshole whilst choking her? He'd go to jail but would totally save face.

>I came here to talk about war dogs not whore frogs
i thought this one was pretty good

>a serious actor

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bretty good

pretty good one desu

>translator:
je suis ici parler a la chien de guerre, pa grenoille putain
>audience?
Qui es cici homme grande?

Why do people think "Have sex" is a good insult? It's too easy to make a comeback against it.

keked

have sex

This. If he was there with Eisenberg instead of Teller that whore would’ve been crying after the interview and on the internet.
youtube.com/watch?v=ya-CrS3eKMM

Jonah will never know true love ,

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Not with you, fag

That's fair

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terrible, terrible translation

yea but have sex

>Calling her a whore on live television
You wont know what is a good comeback even if punched your in the face

it dont need because ihe sound butthurt as fuck.
Her would say is just a joke while the audence would laugh at hin

Does Jonah have a Twitter? We could tweet a few suggestions to him for the next time he goes to France.

Fuck off, Jonah

Have you ever actually had sex? It's terrible, they want to stick around afterwards and they're needy or some other stupid made up feeling so I have to take them out for some breakfast and buy them a fucking omelet that we both know she's not going to finish and then when its over you have to get her number and promise you'll call her but we both know you're not going to call her. Why would you? You already got what you wanted out of her and the sex was mediocre at best and you wasted one of the two days a week you have free of being a wagecuck, you took your valuable free time and you fucking wasted it on some average broad when you could have paid for a hooker and had her get up and leave so I could go back to playing video games.

The only reason to have sex, and I mean LITERALLY THE ONLY REASON, is that fucking without a condom on feels pretty great. Nothing else about sex is even remotely enjoyable, not the stupid foreplay, not the cuddling, I don't even particularly enjoy getting my dick sucked anymore. I'd rather eat a burrito and watch American Dad and be left the fuck alone. No, I'm not going to marry you. No, you're not going to trick me into getting you pregnant(I've had a few women really try hard with that one), and no, you're not coming to live with me in my big empty house.

For one thing, it's my fucking house. For another thing, I like it big and empty, and lastly you're a fucking bore. Women are for the most part IMMENSELY boring. No, I'm not interested in hearing about your stupid day. No, I don't care what Sarah the intern said about your hair. No, I don't FUCKING CARE ABOUT HOW YOU'RE FEELING TODAY

NOT. FUCKING. WORTH. IT.

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Think jonah acting ignorant is good, she has to explain and then he says
"they let whores on national tv?" Oh france, never change"

or make it a dig like "whores on tv, not naked? sounds like america needs to save france again"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>woah jonah it sounds like she's making fun of you for being overweight

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>i am rubber you are glue
>and fat

Why can't he just fucking win bros?

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>One night, I'm gonna come to you inside your house, or wherever you're sleeping, and I'm gonna cut your throat.

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LE MILLENOM GIRL

>this is a casting couch, you don't get to choose

jesus fucking christ, theres no fucking tact with these people. he should have just scarred that french bitch by pulling out a gun, yell "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?", then blow his head off on live tv.

>Listen, ma'am. I'm from Los Angeles, you know. Cold weather ain't my scene, although I don't mind the chill. If necessary, I'll grin and bear it even when skating in the east coast parks I don't need to name right now. Heck, I don't even bundle up, which you may have seen in those spontaneous paparazzi photos of my hip outfits. But the next time I'm on my way to France for one of these interviews and my pilot tells me there's even a mild chance of Fleurys, I'll tell him to turn the plane around....alright?!?!

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The New York joke was funny.

Jonah knocks it out of the park yet again.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Try to beat THAT one, Ornella!

>I wouldn't even have an interest for you if I saw in a bar, let alone take you to an orgy with my friends
>but then again you said it was just a fantasy, keep dreaming of fucking a-listers, while I just keep fucking models with Leo
Or
>no wonder why she's just a weather girl

I was told in the Jesse thread the best was
>I have the same fantasy but you're the one who leaves

Jesus christ, not even the real Jonah is this unfunny.

That's hilarious. Would have broken all the tension.

classic

>walks directly up to her and beats her to death
There is no coming back from this

youtube.com/watch?v=6AU2TaP4UGQ

Fresh cringekino

This is it boys

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>Well that was rude

There I fucking did it. Pack your bags and fuck off everyone. This meme is dumb

You can't beat her because she's attractive. Have you ever gotten into a public debate with an attractive girl? Regardless of her argument the crowd supports her because she's attractive

The best play is to not attack her but to make another joke to get people thinking about something else like this one

Naw, then you come off as butthurt and unable to take a joke

every time

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wasted

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weak

I would've kept it in if he was actually from New York

>I'm actually a cuckold fetishist and would take immense pleasure in the humiliation you've described. I'd scarf down two boxes of doughnuts while watching your hole get stretched.

I think you mean like scissoring beats paper

Noooooooooooooo

Next time someone posts the real winners, I'll cap them. These are the runners up.

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Wow that is very classic

Hey

Hey

Hey Ornella
Notre Dame

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>*BRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPP*
And that's how it's done.

Even from this tiny image for ants, I can still hear that fucking laugh.

oof. just when you think she's almost down

He protects his own.

leo skullmogs pitt? what the fuck

All the cards were stacked against Jonah. There is no possible comeback, one of the best Yea Forums had was shut down just because the pun wouldn't work in French. Yea Forums should just quit.

There is no way out. The pain on his face combined with the way everyone in the room continues on like nothing happened? No high ground or low ground or ignoring it could have taken back the damage Jonah ensured that day. He was 1-shot. Dead On Arrival.

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>There is no possible comeback
Except there is. The best comeback is the most obvious one that gets repeated all the time
>I have the same fantasy, except you're the one who leaves the room
It shows that he can take a joke and play along. Simple and effective.

This is good, but I think
“Who replaces you?” is the best

Truth is Ornella, I'm the best lover you could ever have.

>accepting defeat
Even “I didn’t know I came here to be insulted by your weather girl” is better.

See, you're going about it wrong. It's not about putting Ornella down, anyone can call a woman fat or ugly and reduce her to tears in seconds. It's about winning over the audience, and that's much harder. Jonah's fighting an uphill battle here. Any insult pertaining to her looks will come off as vile and petty. It has to be done tastefully.

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Get fucked, fatboy

playing along =/= accepting defeat

Holy shit

Based and unbeatable

Because she's a woman and he's a fatass.

>Naw, then you come off as butthurt and unable to take a joke
Who cares? You really think Jonah cares what we or TMZ have to say about him?

His real response sounds too butthurt

Because he's not a Chad

>ho cares?

Jonah does. Jonah cares a lot. Jonah is very important to Jonah.

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I like the one where he just starts quoting Goodfellas, only one I can imagine realistically working.

I've seen this one on here before went something like this

>If those guys wanted to step out of their comfort zone fucking perfect 10s to try out disappointment, they wouldn't need to fuck you, just talk to your your dad

My fucking sides.

>at least that means one of us will be a star

nah, that's not good, only Chad's can pull the ironic gay card convincingly, if unattractive fatsos did it, it would just come off weird and disgusting

Just HOW many times have you been making this post? Jesus, it's been - what, three years?

and why is that good exactly?

Cringy as fuck

welp, this isn't bad, apart from being a completely unlikely scenario

oh yeah she definetaly does that.

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with that weak chin he doesn't either probably

but it's unrealistic, men don't turn down hot bitches

Peak in high school!? She's on TV for a job, not scrubbing bins

You’re the carrot top of interviewers.

FUCK YOU BIIIIITCH. ALLAHU ACKBAR! ALLAHU ACKBAR!!! YOU WILL NEVER DESTROY THE HUMAN SPIRIT!!!!

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the best comeback by far has been
>jonah unzips his face to reveal that he is actually dan schneider, then he walks over to ornella, takes her purse, holds her drivers license up the camera, and it reveals that she is actually 12 years old, then he sodomizes her right there in front of everyone on television

>happily married
>talks about having sex with anyone but her husband
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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>That's so kind of you ,Ornella, you know, for making fun of me, it motivates me to lose my weight. I've had a lots of heath problems because of my weight... Being fat is not good for you, you know, and i just want to say, that, you should exercise regularly, stop eating too much, drink a lot warter and more importantly, FUCK CHINK, FUCK JEW, FUCK NIGGER, AND FUCK YOU ORNELLA YOU DISGUSTING WHORE

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Wait, what he said was kinda funny "I'm glad that I came on this show to get ridiculed by local presenter" said in a sarcastic way

>people replying with cringe to one of better pastas we had in recent years
Seriously fucking retarded, subhuman normies infesting this board during got and capeshit seasons deserve a bullet.

>nah, no. I’m gonna have to go with a serious actor

got DAMN

>it’s about winning over the audience
This is true. That’s why it seems so irrefutable. Ornella’s comment is a pretty lame Joke but coming back at her with an insult is just going to make you look like you have thin skin. If you say anything too wordy it’s going to go over poorly because of the language barrier.

I like the one where he says he already fucked both

I read that as
>eats her to death
would be more poetic and arousing

Have sex

>oh yeah? watch this

*shits on floor*

*flips the bird*

*pulls up pants*

*smirks*

*adjusts tie*

*begins walking out*

*turn around*

*raspberry*

*turn back and keep walking*

*turn back again and walk back to them*

*turn around*

*fart in their direction*

*scratches balls*

*pulls down pants*

*orders pepperoni pizza*

*pulls up pants*

*yawns*

*begin to walk out*

*raises middle finger to flip them off while walking out*

*stops walking*

*stretches*

*walks out of studio*

*comes back in*

*hehe... f'got somethin'*

*picks up bag*

*let's go miles*

*picks up miles' bag*

*power stance*

*starts walking out again*

*gives both bags to miles*

*miles still hasn't walked out*

*checks phone*

*smirks*

*nice*

*burps through nose*

*scratches belly*

*oh yeah, one more thing*

*DO THE HARLEM SHAKE WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP, WOOP WOOP WOOP BRRRRRRRRRRMMMHHHHH*

*fuck yeah*

And that's how you handle it.

based plainview response

Jonah’s gonna need another tattoo.

>ornella stays silent with a smug smirk ,looks around and everyone laughs mockingly at Jonah,to which she looks back at him

Most of these dont even require her to use her voice,pathetic

>*starts crying*
>starts telling stories about how kids always bullied him in school for his looks

kek

>oh that was rude but I take you just got too far with a joke happens to everyone *laughs*

Wowzers

>Do you think it's important to be unattractive to be funny?

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Because the very act of coming up with one makes you look bitter because she is punching up and you would be punching down

OH FUCK

>you're a vile cunt with a rotten soul
>leave

She's a frog coalburner. Bud, it's easy to turn her down.

>You got me Jonah. It took you as long as eating a salad but you got me.

He might be thinking of
>That joke was Super Bad