Be at interview

Can you guys just shit on command? If I have to shit, I really have to shit, but I can’t otherwise. If I wait, it just goes away, and then I can’t shit until I feel like shitting again.

>we'll keep your resume on file

I stalked my interviewer on Facebook a little bit and also found his YouTube account. Apparently he's really into Marvel movies and interracial relationships (AMWF) so I talked a little bit about that with him and we got along.
>pic related is his youtube feed

Attached: interviewers yt.png (891x750, 839K)

The Sneedening
Captain Sneed
Tinker Tailer Sneed

They're calling security for sure

norbit is based

Is your interviewer Asian as well or does he just have a weird cuck fetish?

>user, are you mentally challenged?

>Psycho
>The Fountainhead
>To Be or Not to Be

Frozen, Cars 2 and Lolita

>Avengers
>Rocky
>Die Hard
Not actually my favorite flicks but in this hypothetical situation, they would be the safest choices to get the job

The Hottie and the nottie
Herbie 2 : fully loaded
Mortal Kombat annihilation

This chink also loves the BSB

>can you start today?

1. Matrix 1
2. Groundhog Day
3. Spiderman 2

Spongebob Squarepants The Movie
South Park : Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
The Simpsons Movie

Attached: 1555912367243.png (657x527, 119K)

Welcome aboard fellow gentlesir!

SECURITY!

When I went to camp in grade 7 I didn't shit for an entire week because the bathrooms were filthy.

To this day I still don't know how I managed it. I didn't eat a lot, but still, you'd think your shit's be tumbling out your asshole

>Passion of the Christ
>Zodiac
>Goldfinger
I'm probably getting security.

>Ernest Goes to Camp
>Ernest In the Army
>Ernest Scared Stupid

based

Thank you, we will call you back

paul blart
paul blart 2
the UK version of paul blart 2 where they removed a headbutt and two moments when knives were opened to get a PG rating

Au Revoir Les Enfants
Rififi
Zero de Conduite

>passion of the christ
>king of kings
>the ten commandments
Did I get the job?

>Lolita
>Moonrise Kingdom
>Leon The Professional

Do they really do this in america? Why the fuck would that be even relevant, jesus f'ing christ

perefect. you will head the cyber crimes division im sure

To make sure the interviewee isn’t some psycho autist

It's an icebreaker and it helps us get to know our applicants.

Shaw shank redemption
Matrix
Fight clubs

Possible school schooter right here.

they don’t care about the answer they just want to see how you handle the question, explain your choices etc
basically they’re screening for virgin freaks

So how much do you lie at interviews? I'll need to get a job soon but I'm terrified of the interview.

Everything on my resume that isn’t an outright lie is inflated
My bluff was only called on it once, when the interviewer wanted to test if I was actually proficient in Mexican

don't lie, just try to relax and not be an autist. Remember they're just people like you and the most important thing is to make a good impression. If you're false and trying to lie then you'll come across that way

>they don’t care about the answer
Then how come the interviewer for Lockheed Martin said that I shouldn't have said "Because of Winn-dixie" and gave me a really dirty look.

>hotel for dogs
>paulie
>the turin horse

I don't watch films

Sorry sir, the position has been filled.

Groundhog Day
Terminator 2
Wayne's World

It's definitely not good for you

>t. someone who has never been interviewed for a job
Are you interviewing for a job in the film industry? They still don't give a shit what you like. They just want you to do a job.

Groundhog Day
Terminator 2
Wayne's World

Do you have a single source to back this claim up?

>not be an autist
I'm fucked then.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
The Fifth Element
Conan the Barbarian

>Office Space
>Employee of the Month
>Taxi Driver

When can you start?
We'll call you.
*crumples up resume as you leave*

>Akira
>300
>Ghostbusters

>Taxi Driver
Sorry user, we don't hire incels for the same reason we don't hire known terrorists.

Jokes on you I didn't even give you my resume.

Groundhog Day
Terminator 2
Wayne's World

>The Greates Story Never Told
>The Passion of the Christ
>The Eternal Jew (1940)

>Oceans 8
>Ghostbusters remake
>Captain Marvel

You're hired user, when can you start?

>My bluff was only called on it once, when the interviewer wanted to test if I was actually proficient in Mexican
>proficient in Mexican

Attached: 1549382185585.jpg (471x388, 94K)

Groundhog Day
Terminator 2
Wayne's World

Call him back and give him a goddamn medal

3 is too narrow. Maybe 5 or 10.

I only poop once every 7 days. AMA

I was unironically asked about if I watched The Big Short and liked it when I was offered my first financial analyst job

This is the type of shit that happens when you let homosexuals and women rule your company

I have never watched a movie

So you're a female?

To be fair that’s a frankly improper answer for your favourite poem film

FUCK I MEANT PORN FILM
CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT YOU WORTHLESS IDIOT

Interstate 60
Catch Me If You Can
Only Old Men Are Going to Battle

Groundhog Day
Terminator 2
Wayne's World

>Le Ravageur
>Flight Plan (Original Theatrical Version)
>Joker (2019) (Saw it early)

>is he Asian
yes, and I'm in Hong Kong

fpbp

the godfather
goodfellas
shrek 2(unironically)

how likely am i to get hired

Attached: asian journey.jpg (1024x711, 156K)

I am sorry but this is an entry level position. A man of intellect and taste would get too bored within weeks

What if I said
>Black Panther
>Captain Marvel
>The Last Jedi

They're obligated to hire me or come off as racist and sexist, right?

>Martyrs
>Human Centipede
>Freddy Got Fingered
When do I start?