What movie should I see at the theatre tonorrow?

You just had milk, kitten. You are supposed to nap now.

Kek

So is this a bird thread now? Because I'm perfectly OK with that

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Male birds always mog the females.

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I expected some shit to go down.

WE WUZ KANGS

FUCK THE POLICE

Thanks but this is all I've got

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Not in all species. If partners don't stay together then the males usually look very different from the females (like chickens and roosters or ducks). But if partners stay with each other for life then males and females look very similar (storks)

I had that one in reserve, haven't been able to use it in a while since /pol/ can't take a joke anymore.

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wow, Hensonbird is a dick

underrated

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>"I am the senate!"

Probably Yardie. They've made about a half dozen of those "one guy learns to laugh, one guy learns to LIVE" cancer movies and they all fucking suck dick.

Yardie is directed by quintessentially British future James Bond and appears to have some cool 70s era car chases.

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Okay, thanks. I like me some car chases.

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holy shit the new souls game looks amazing

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BANTI

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Is that the one that can disembowel you with one swipe?

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>more /an/ Yea Forums overlap

The one true broship

allegedly, there's less than a handful of recorded kills in history. I just think aussie shitposters like to hype up their animals.

the weak should fear the strong

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the aussies inherently fear the creature they lost a war to

>whaleinf2pgame.jpg

They lost to the Emu not the Cassowary.

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>HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY
>Who are you?! Who are you?! Who are you?! Who are you?!
>god damn look at that view

why did he do it?

Fuck off Diogenes

same thing................

Detective Pikachu is looking better than I thought.

It's a cassowary and while they probably could kill you like that there have only been 2 reported human deaths caused by them. And one of them was a 13 year old boy who, along with his brother, tried to kill one with clubs. Needless to say it backfired

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This is how I feel compared to the rest of Yea Forums

One more person was just killed by one, and another woman more than ten years ago was killed off a cliff [!!!] by one, she lived, but fuck. Also, they are a Mandela Effect-they're dinosaurs 100%.

*kicked off a cliff

There actually was a Cassowary kill a week ago. It was an elderly bird keeper in the states, though.

>Also, they are a Mandela Effect-they're dinosaurs 100%.

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I love vultures. I remember driving through rural Ohio on a roadtrip and seeing one chilling by the side of a road next to a trash can. Turkey vulture was just chilling

OH NO NO NO NO NO NO

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Ha. Look, man, I live near a zoo and I know a ton of animals species and I am sure that no birds that powerful and deadly live on my Earth more towards the Sagittarius arm of the Milky Way-8000 light years away from the central point. My dad taught me star positions and take it from me, we're not on our original Earth.

>getting your eyes pecked out by a cassowary while your old decrepit body struggles to fight back

What an undignified death

>finna smack a hen if they don't get up off my crackers

didn't a guy recently get killed by a cassowary?

He believed Todd's lies

take your meds

it looked like it was expecting food rather than being aggressive. maybe its used to people feeding it or maybe it was just curious.

t. NPC

definitely one of the campest birds.

Why are vultures such kino birds?

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Dark Crystal reboot looks sick

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It moves exactly how velociraptors are said to have moved by serious scientists and the makers of Jurassic Park. They are dinosaurs.

>backs very slowly away

untreated mental illness sure is scary

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Yes, I agree fully that you need help. Not being able to recall entire species (or lack thereof) is probably a sign of Alzheimer's, Boomer.

Their chicks look and move like the "Don't speak to me or my son ever again" meme

you're the one that thinks cassowaries are so outlandish we must be living on bizarro earth.

Never turn your back on an Australian.

>you're the one that thinks cassowaries are so outlandish
They are. Either you're from here or you're a moron.
Chic-Fil-A, bitch. [sic]

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birb thread?

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>when you see a cassowary

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THIS NIGGA FINNA BOUTTA GET DABBED ON

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dir. martin scorsese

The life of a bird. That's the life for me.

Would you really want a life like this?

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>look like a sleek based chad in front of a million plain looking females

hell yeah nikka

Or this?

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An emu may blind you by accident, but this thing will fuck you up big time.

>inb4 that webm of a penguin getting raped by a seal

Driving to the /Yorkshire/ coast today to the only mainland place in England where they nest. I'm not even that big into birds but i just find these fuckers super cute

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Communism fucked those people up bad.They'll eat anything.

>literally have to carry a roman shield when around cassoniggers

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Is that a sad solitary ostrich trying to do a mating dance with its handler?

i grew up with media depicting emus, so they aren't strange at all, no.

Why don't we ever see Bear Grylls doing this shit?

Everyone needs to practice.

why

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this is flocking behavior but without flight.

I wonder if brontosaurs got freeloaders riding them.

Emos, rheas, flamingos, ostriches, turkey vultures;etc I know, user. I know. I am telling you, cassowaries and the frog mouths are not normal. Only in my wildest dreams could I have seen these things you're taking for granted in this thread. Say...did you miss the trumpets that sounded years ago too? Earthquakes some call them.

Go see First Man at one of those theaters that play older releases for cheap. It’s great.

*skyquakes....it's been a long day

Im actually a bit worried about you, user. Are you just crazy shitposting or do you mean this stuff?

whats wrong? dont you eat chicken?

google.com/amp/s/bgr.com/2019/04/15/florida-man-bird-attack-cassowary/amp/

what do you cook them with?

>And those ostriches…were happy to see the humans. Very happy. In fact, both female AND male ostriches solicited sex more than twice as often when the humans were nearby. 70% of the ostriches reliably hit on the humans when they were around. Turns out that being raised by humans can change what an ostrich is attracted to. The only exception to this was their control ostrich, a male which had been raised in Africa and then imported to the farm. He studiously ignored all humans, unless they got too close, in which case he was much more likely to be aggressive.

youtube.com/watch?v=PLkLK6_jylo

Don't worry for me, user. I'm one of the Gnostics. I am older than anyone alive.

...

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Wath the fuck is it doing? I find hilarious how the human bean is so familiar with that shit that he has zero curiosity.

>fake bird he tried to woo for years
I know the feeling, Nige.

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just like horses they mercilessly seduce men

It's doing a mating dance.

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>fuck this i'm out

Kill two birds with one claw.

drinking his own piss not got enough for you?

When I see people posting like this I just want to help them but know ill never get through to them. Their imaginary world gives their life meaning and makes them feel important and nothing I do or say outside of electroshock therapy will change them

Screw the Mods. Be an outlaw.

What an absolute fucking pimp

Oh man, he's just like me!

yep
scicurious.scientopia.org/2012/01/13/friday-weird-science-is-that-ostrich-flirting-with-me/

Out fucking skilled

You work for Satan forces, unwittingly possibly, or just a gatekeeper, or you're a new soul. I've done this over and over and over and over and over again and it never ends.

Yeah man my cousin has an emu and that thing will whip its dick out, get low to the ground and do this thumping sound whenever anyone comes around, sometimes you have to smack him in the face to make him fuck off. My understanding is its a mating dance type deal. Fucker is big too, must weigh over 100lbs easy.

Topkek

i'll level with you. i sometimes imagine how fantastic some things on earth might seem to someone from some other planet. like unicorns sound weird, but we have giraffes and whales and tigers. never have i thought that this indicates i'm living on some different earth where stuff is fucked up.

why does this look back-projected?

Well I find that a bit insulting honestly, im definitely not evil and id say im earnestly acting in a way that puts your best interests at heart. Like I want to help you but know I cant and it just makes me sad, honestly.

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those birds are one of the few animal species who see people for what they are.

jesus

Reminds me of Patrick

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name a more cucked species

it makes sense: humans probably feed them, so they can support more offspring when humans are around. plus performing for humans will lead to them getting treats especially if the humans see something funny in their behavior.

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kino/11

protip: this is the only recorded instance of Austrialians viewing virginity positively.

Thanks.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_pheasant

Seahorses

humans? cause we're the exact same with exceptional males and bland females.

Patrick is dead now.

easy on the redpills

RIDE RIDE RIDE HITCHIN' A RIDE

>Like I want to help you
I don't need help. I accept this reality, but my memory is unaffected. To me, I have been granted one of my greatest wishes, to see a real dinosaur, and I've always loved them, fren.

Post more 4chanimals

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oh shit omar coming

Hey I love birds as much as the next guy, especially massive blue ones that look otherworldly, but I dont think we need to hypothesize that there was a time shift between worlds for them to exist. I mean, thats an unfalsifiable claim, so if its true or not doesnt really matter. But im glad seeing these birds gives you pleasure. For me, seeing deep sea animals like frilled sharks and whatnot feels more like looking at dinosaurs but to each his own.

>HEE HEE

The king fisher is such an amazing bird

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birds are fucking autistic

>bird
>species

based cassowary poster

y'all KNOW you's seein' A MADEA FAMILY FUNERAL today, mhm!
youtube.com/watch?v=EDdMem3kvdI

that bird looks like a child molester

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what did this bird mean by this?

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I had smoked puffin in Iceland several times. Also whale. Very tasty, would recommend.

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>naming him after Nigel Nomates

Ouch

everything is delicious smoked , though.

you think its cute but if it weren't for the clothes they're literally trying to see if they can get away with eating you

>but I dont think we need to hypothesize that there was a time shift between worlds for them to exist
It's not a hypothesis or a theory. NASA has admitted that we have successfully reached out to 2 to the 500th power OTHER EARTHS. "to pull resources" Wake. The. Fuck. Up.

that dude get scalped?

F

yea

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>chick is still alive near the end
what the fug

>it's not a fake screenshot
What the fuck.

Quantum computers can tap into every reasonable possibility. They do not know how many clones of us there are.

rude!

Are there any other animals specialised in snake killing, other than hedgehogs?

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Mongoose...s? Mongeese?

birb > snake

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Mongoosi

when does that get translated into a dance for humans?

the angry snake stomper

That is how we live life a quarter ostrage step at a time

>dude its new and weird and I know everything there is to know about this earth so anything new and weird must be evidence of a conspiracy and not my own ignorance.

mongoosers.

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shrikes are cool

>tfw no secretarybirdfu

>battle at alesia (colorized)

hatchling comes out brown with big lips

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SHAMONE

do the berbs inpale them?

how'd they get there?

name a single penis that can defeat a horse

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>daemon of tzeentch

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Shrikes love to impale their prey and save it for later.

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The Chad joins the party and all the incels cower and retreat into a corner.

hens fear the bwc

In case anyone cares...
shoebill
kingfisher
barn owls
vulture (looks like some old world species)
dunno exactly, parakeets
kestrel
old world vulture
white cockatoo
old world vultures
parrot chick
bald eagle and gulls, possibly california gulls
shoebill
I should know the species, but I can't remember
never heard of that behavior before... they look like some species of roller
puffin
gannet
merlin
red-capped manakin
european jays and some accipitor
huh, a flicker eating a chick. didn't know they ever did that
secretary bird
shrike

*gropes crotch*

cool dudes

around blacks...

this is called a Bone-Eating Vulture

kek look at that pussy swan, slowely swimming away with his head hanging low in shame

they eat bones, and they also puke on themselves and piss on their own legs
just thought i should add that

Yes, i read that on the news too

Based

They're what porgs are. They're the little fucks all over that island that they shot TFA and TLJ on.

>could fly like 10x the speed of the ostrich slowly walking if it wanted to
>nah fuck it gonna let him do the work
absolute chad

for any particular reason or just because?

Cute!

I like this thread.

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They're one of the only animals I'm aware of that can and largely does eat nothing but bones. The acid in their stomach enables them to and acts as a defense mechanism. It's apparently pretty noxious but also so potent the it also works as a cleaning agent. The easiest way to put it is that they're disgusting clean birds. Perhaps more so than any other kind.

Mongosling

Their piss is the same way, in case that wasn't clear.

bird wearing yoga pants

elephant or a whale?

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tfw no femdom yoga pants wearing birb gf to stomp on your snake (benis)

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Looks like a guy in a costume when it dances.

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Don't you eat turkey, or chicken, or even eggs? The only issue is eating it raw. Imagine its remains jerking and struggling in your stomach acid as its dissolving.

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Ah yes, the Great American Kookaburra

The story behind this is really sad, made me emotional when reading it.

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

tfw no gf transcends all barriers

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HAI-AI!

What a fucking attention whore.

>
nice breakdance moves

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Bird kino incomming

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animals?

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MUSH WAGIE

But the "chad" is a male and the "incels" are females. Your joke doesn't work.

Based OCD owl

based

>You are next

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humans

do elephants unironically eat their own faeces to digest cellulose twice like rabbits?

super hero movie is good i hear go see that

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see new marvel mie. very popular. all of work will be talking about it. see it or feel left out and awkward/bad feelings at work/school/other

absolutely devilish

>piss on their own legs

in australia we have big bats called flying foxes and we're told never to touch one if you find it injured because they hang upsidedown in threes and piss and shit all over themselves. if theres a lot of them in one tree you can smell a distinctive musky smell when you walk past. they are always digging their claws into power polls getting electrocuted and hanging dead too.

Fucking dinosaur knockoff cunts.

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This just doesn't have the same effect without the horrible screeching that barn owls make.

idk seems gay

>post times when you've acted like the joker

>hey are always digging their claws into power polls getting electrocuted and hanging dead too.
Christ.

They're all shit. Yardie could be interesting, but that's completely dependent on how good of a directional debut it is.

Why would he let the monkey do that though? Dude is such a faggot

Fucking hell, that's a demon.

>tfw Red Sun in the Sky starts playing
youtube.com/watch?v=yrbpwCJIlEA

lel monkey lubes it up. is it part of his daily routine?

wtf a tiny dinosaur

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This is a man.

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kino

holy shit, I just started uncontrollably laughing to this. what the fuck is this shit? my sides

i had one dead in the power lines on my street and it fell onto the sidewalk when it got windy. i saw a dumb kid ride up to it on his scooter, pick it up and throw it in the middle of the road so cars would run over it. kid probably got rabies or tetanus touching it with his bare hands.

Fabulous.

why are its testicles hanging form its neck?

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Gallus gallus domesticus

the fuck this is Matrix shit