Realistically, what would you have done?

r u ok?

I suffer from erectile dysfunction so I wouldn't be very fun for them. Although I've heard some women take offense to that and think it means they're ugly so maybe that'd be fun for me.

Give them both a bowl of eggs.

I don't understand. What the fuck was their PROBLEM? He didn't do fucking anything wrong, he was a good husband and father, they basically raped him after he told them to leave several times.

Forcefeed them*

youtube.com/watch?v=JnELNv-zqo4

Tie them up in my basement.

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I'm fine

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this already happened to me but it was female missionaries (blonde). they asked if my parents were home, i said no. they noticed my boner that i had tucked into my waistband and it slipped out. then they said they would come back but never did lol

Thats the point of the movie, they were psychotic bitches that liked ruining lives of men

what movie

Probably would've enjoyed it.

prematurely ejaculated as soon as they touched my dick

Would it be fun from them though if you would enjoy it?

the entire Olson clan really freaks me out. some weird genetics in the family desu

imdb.com/title/tt3605418/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_24

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this

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Jesus Christ, was his daughter a complete fatass or something?

Drug them, tie them up, fuck them until they're pregnant, put them in a trunk, drive until I'm almost out of gas, leave them at a truck stop or hospital, fill up, and drive home.

This isn't about their pleasure.

what the heck is that dude's problem.

I am married and I would let them in and fuck them both.

>t-thanks y-you to
>Close the door on them
>ponder for hours on what they meant by this, come to conclusion that I have massive autism
>shitpost on Yea Forums

Lock left in basement for future breeding, kill right

Ask if they want to watch BR2049

you're both lying, you can fuck 2 girls at once, penis would wear out.

Create a human centipede with them.

Slam the door, already jacked it twice today

do a 360 and walk away

The only real answer but nobody will admit it

What was the director trying to achieve with this scene?

Eat some free fucking pizza.

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You know they have freaky looking sculls.

boners

The same thing that John Wick had done.

Let them in, don't touch them. Wait until they kill me.

Legend has it that his head is still on the ground to this day.

This. Nobody rings my doorbell except Jehovah's Cocksuckers.

this

They would leave upon finding out that you’re a loser incel. They would consider you a waste of time.

>would've pretended i wasn't home without ever knowing who knocked or rang

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annoying bitch. im glad brie is outshining this fucking loser

eli roth is pretty based. i wish he'd make more kino like hostel, hostel II, and this.

R U SURE?

brie pls go

based

This. What kind of normie answers their door? Best case scenario it’s some ass hole trying to hit you up for donations.

The only true answer.

What I'm going to be doing to my mom and sister tonight. Fuck them. At the the same time, man.

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Human centipede obviously

I do this too user except I lock myself in the bathroom with my hatchet.

GOD I wish that were me

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Fornicate

Beat them into unconsiousness and torture/rape them for 6 days before dissolving their remains in acid and burying them in the swamp....the usual.

please remain where you are and do not disconnect your device. thanks for your cooperation.

Realistically, you should never open the door to strangers in the middle of the night. At best it could be someone needing help, at worse its a ploy for a home invasion. You need to keep your phone in hand, ask them what they want and if they have car trouble call them a tow and if its something more troublesome just call the police so they can help them. Two hot girls all wet and hot in the middle of the night, too good to be true.

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This. Fucking sollicitors man. One time a melanin enriched gentleman was at my door asking donations for the poor octoplegic tornado explosion distaster survivor orphans from the jungles of qandahar in bolivia. I kingly denied. He got arrested a couple blocks down because turns out he had stolen that collectors box

It's just not fair how perfect Ana is.

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Poor daddy, you sound so sad...

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I ponder if we're all just meant to suffer, and watch as perfections like Ana roam around the earth. Like the ultimate form of cuckery.

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Have sex.

wh...what movie is this?

Based, the director definitely achieved that

Realistically, what would you have done?

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Just did. With your mom. I just creampied her a little while ago. Enjoy your new half Filipino brother.

Holy FUCK those fleshy nipples.

Ring Ring 2

haha it sure would be funny if she took off her sock and stuck her gross bare foot in his nose and mouth haha imagine that smell

My mom died in child birth 20 years ago.

Called them a cab, give the driver 20$ and send them home.

Thanks user, but you're not my type.

That picture makes me really sad.

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Nothing, because my front door is always closed and I never open it.

hi dead mom friend :3 mine too ._. at least we are immune to the motherwilldieinhersleep threads, right? happy easter

FUCK SAKE ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR BROS

Why are latin women such huge sluts?

fucked them

find a fuggo and have sex
you'll quickly lose your preoccupation with moving pictures on the internet.

Damn. Even the fiction al gigachad has a receding hairline and thin hair.

I'm trying ok, but ana is perfect. I WANT TO HAVE THE SEX OK

Respond to this post or your mother will never be allowed out of purgatory

Why is she wearing two sets of underwear?

i'm a fedoratipper *tips*

This. You can have sex all you fucking want, but don't pretend it'll ever be with a girl nearly as perfect as Ana.

What? Doesn't everybody do that to strange unaccompanied young women that come knocking at their doors unannounced?

Is it just me?

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>You can have all the sex you want
Wrong.

let in - rape - kill - rape - cut up in the bath

Just fucking imagine for a second, ana smiling at you with her beautiful smile and stripping herself naked and having SEX with you, then smiling at you some more. GOD FUCKING DAMN IT

that picture is a representation of my Life.

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So this would have been true Eli Roth film

taken the free pizza

We may never know.

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Are they going to destroy my house and bury me in the back yard? Shoot them

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I can't even imagine this happening because I'm a kissless touchless 29 year old virgin.
NO girl ever smiled at me, no girl every stripped for me, I never was even alone in a room with a qt girl.

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I mean, to be honest any somewhat passable girls would probably drive me insane if she did that, but if it was Ana i would legit not know what to do. Like, actually imagine it's her. I'd probably pass out or some shit.

I had a qt smile at me once lmao and not just a courtesy smile, but a genuine happy to see ME smile, still a kv tho.

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only 1 year more and you can be a wizard! unfortunately the only powers i got are back pain and hair loss

Heh, I don't really care about stuff like that. My wife is great. I love her very much and she's good enough for me!

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I already have those powers.
what else I get? the power to kill myself ?
getting real fucking tired of this shitlife.

what it feels like?

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yes

Based trips.
Yeah, i had a drunk girl give me that "come here" smile or whatever you'd call it once. I got a boner right there. That was when i was 15 or 16. I am 28 now and don't think i had it happen since. Not in that way at least.
I mean, i had a few girls give me that smile you mean, but i'm a fucking autist when it comes to picking up signals, so it always went nowhere anyway.

i didn't get that power, i'm too afraid. that power would have been great.

Man, it felt surreal, of course my autism ruined any chances of going further with her, but it made me feel good and confident, knowing that someone that attractive wanted anything to do with me

Unbelievably based

Jesus. You've never even been hugged by a girl?

damnit I hope I manage to pull it off tho

interesting but how you handled this?
I can't even imagine this, I even have trouble keeping eye contact with a webm of a cute girl.

nope

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closed the door

Just go buy a fucking whore already. They're more honest than most bitches, and they'll gladly LEAVE when you're done with them.

Well I reverted to using tips I got off /fit/ on how to pick up women, by not showing too much interest and remaining mysterious, this obviously backfired badly and the girl thought I had no interest in her, she eventually gave up and went and found some other guy to have sex with. I fucking missed out bros, I was this close to making it with a sexy qt3.14

Good idea

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this
plus grabbed nearest firearm in case they decided to force their way in

>I even have trouble keeping eye contact with a webm of a cute girl.
This is some fucking hardcore shit, my man.

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>Just go buy a fucking whore already
that would be too awkward and just too much at this point.
wouldnt be able to deal with this.

thats sad but why you not try again? it seems at least you have a chance.

it really is.

I don't let strangers into my house.
No matter how hot they are.

If I don't expect anyone, I am pretending I am not there anyway.

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>those child birthing hips
Hnng

have you seen the alternate ending? brought me some closure

>perfect face
>perfect eyes
>perfect smile
>literally perfect tits, perfect size, perfect nipples
>perfect ass
>beyond perfect feet and pits
I seriously, unironically doubt there is any straight male on this planet who wouldn't think she's stunningly beautiful.

Haven't been able to try again because she is still my oneitis, despite it being a few years since. You my friend however, I wish you the best of luck to have sex soon

Muh dick

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I won't make it man.
good luck m8

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Well I would've let Ana pee in my mouth until I'd drown.

>ywn have her lay on top of you naked in bed, all sticky smelly and sweaty after sex, just panting and holding each other
Wtf is this life bros...

I had something similar happen. A really cute girl i knew was slightly drunk and we were at party and she was always net to me and hugged me and tried to just straight up kiss me at one point. I kind of ignored it and "rejected" her, because i knew that one of my best friends was into her a lot. They got together shortly after and were together for some years.
I still can't decide if i'm a good guy or just a fucking loser that missed out on sex with a really beautiful girl.

So kys already and quit shitting up our boards with your "woe is me" bullshit, faggot.

You're a dumbass.
You gotta look out for yourself.

Same. Khv at 25. I wondered if she was looking at me for ahwhile in class. One day she was up front for a presentation and started staring at me like that. I looked at her and had to stop because i jizzed my pants.

Bro, don't give up, wish we could meet irl to hit up some bars for club sluts or something

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HEE HEE

What are the chances those panties were actually worn?
Also, Keanu is probably the only guy I don't mind seeing in a porn-ish scenario. Dunno why.

called them both
SLAGS
L
A
G
S
and then shut the door

So change, faggot.
You're doing this to yourself. It's not God, women, society, whatever, keeping you a pathetic subhuman. It's you.

You have not the slightest idea how much i regret every single chance slipping through my fingers now that i'm too old to have that again.
I mean, you're posting here, so you can probably imagine.
I sometimes imagine what would happen if i just asked her out now, but i'm a huge fucking loser now compared to back then.

would let joi in, I don't know who the right one is

pussy comes and goes but a good friend is hard to find

The more attractive a girl is and the more she looks at me the less i will look at her. Autism works in mysterious ways.

Yeah, I mean if it's a friend or family member wouldn't they call first?

This. When I'm around average slags I feel super confident, knowing I'm kinda above them in terms of attractiveness, and so in my mind I feel like I control the playing field and I can choose wether I want to sex them or not. But when it comes to qt's I turn into an autist who stares into the ground

ARE YOU PIZZA?
ARE YOU BEER?
IF NOT
THEN
FUCK
OFFFFFF

absolutely thispilled

skinnyfat

More like, cute and sexy and I would instantly ejaculate if she even breathed in my direction

based /k/ommando

>I reverted to using tips I got off /fit/ on how to pick up women, by not showing too much interest and remaining mysterious

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Knock Knock

I really want to try this, not even to get laid but just to talk to everyone and have fun.

Fuck I just finished watching this movie like 10 minutes ago

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the last time I was alone with a girl was when I was 13, and she rejected my advances. just fucking kill me bros

that's fucking stupid
you have no one to blame but yourself

I actually used to do this and it did work some times. I also used to use Lord Flashheart's line from Blackadder: 'well, well, well, if isn't little [x], saucier than a direct hit on a Heinz factory'. It got a few laughs from those who knew where it came from, but it worked too kek.

FELIPE, NO!

kick out the uggo on the right
take in based ana

Don't worry, no one will even remember in like a week

sex is overrated

stop worshiping females you incels

>sex is overrated
And water doesn't even taste that great. Sucks if you don't have any tho

Have sex.

>Be in 8th grade
>Rather popular, taller than my classmates and not bad looking
>I'm charming around girls in casual situations
>But when I go on actual dates I'm autistic as fuck
>Dates with a few girls, all go badly
>One spreads a rumor that I'm gay
>My "friends" start avoiding me
>I'm no longer popular
>Never went on a date again
>I turn 30 next month

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>Sucks if you don't have any tho
I haven't had sex in over a decade and I have increasingly less interest in it.

It’s honestly a blast, and it can get you laid as long as there’s a girl at the bar with more autism than you.

>receding hairline
>that
at this point i´m almost certaint that 99% of hairline related posts are made by american zoomers and americans have devolved back into a more ape-like state.

Have sex with men

That's... weird. Why didn't you just tell them you weren't gay?

you sound pretty gay

Well it didn't happen in as short of a time span as my post suggests. It was over the course of a whole school year, also those "friends" were just cool kids I hung out with for popularity points and the girl who spread the rumor was one of the top 5 most popular girls in school and used her influence to poison the well. I only had a few real friends

hahaha, I do this as well.

>girls hanging out in the hall by the queen bee’s locker
>walk up to them
>”Hello, ladies. I would just like to inform you that I am NOT a homosexual”
There ya go. Rumor fucking dead.

Even though I never had that exact situation, I can weirdly relate. Shit sucks man

imagine remembering this much about middle school social dynamics

Well it was a traumatic experience for a thin-skinned little bitch like me

based and redpilled

I turn off the lights and duck into the bathroom kek

Let ana rape me, then call the police.

Me on the top.

Let's be realistic, what a smart guy would do at the end
>family comes home sees him buried
>sees the video
>"so, these two girls showed up asking for help, I thought nothing of it and then suddenly I was unconscious and then woke up with the weirdest headache. They must have drugged me"
>tell the police
>take some drugs before they test you
>solved
>easy

No doubt I would have fucked them both. However I would have sent them packing the next morning unlike Keanu.

this but with like 3 guns too

who is it? If you are ana de armas I'll be there in a sec, otherwise gtfo.

Kick them out. Call 911, if they attempt to come over again.

John Wick 2

Pizza delivery open up

I don't anwer the door unless it's an immediate family member.

You’re going to miss out if the Yea Forums party van shows up and you don’t answer the door.

Don't worry, nothing stops a Yea Forums party. They'll be banging the doors down it will be so much fun

god i wish that were me

How do you direct a scene like this?

Fuck you leather man

BASED BASED BASED

fuck off roastie

that was just cheap plastic cmon

All males have receding hairline, daumbo

Who hurt you as a child?

>annoying bitch. im glad brie is outshining this fucking loser

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