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my name is Robert, sir

All white people are called john

FUCK CRACKERS
FUCK JANNIES

Good lord this is too real.

Oh God too real.

>Yeah sorry, we don't have free refills here.

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*makes loud monkey noises during movie*

>Go to buy a ticket for /ALITA/
>Booth lady is surprised when I walk up alone and ask for a ticket
>says "um excuse me for one moment sorry"
>Some dark skinned bitch with a wagon wobbles up
>"ay yeah what you want honey"
>'o-one ticket for al-li-lita please...'
>"WHAT? What was that???"
>'one ti-'
>"prints out a ticket for "Us" and hands it to me "dats $11.99 sir"
>pull out the crumpled bills out of my pocket to pay her
>doesn't give me back change
>awkwardly shuffle off, figure I'll just sneak into /ALITA/ anyway...
>accidentally bump into some pasty dude with an alita shirt
>want to compliment it but we both awkwardly say 'excuse me- oh you too" before shuffling off
>can hear him call me a smelly nigger under his breath

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Ayo Rob! Dem napkins free, right? Shieeeet
>Unwraps half a rack of baby back ribs

Look Robert a nigga goin thru a lot rite now mayn, jus lemme watch alita and ignore the no singles policy shieeet...

Shut yo ass up, Robert is a treasure

Is this real?

fo' dollars for a cup of soda? sheeeetttt

You laugh but this is fact

Rob, u BEEN KNEW a nigga ain't got not date up in dis bitch! Ion even fukkk wid dat "no singles" bushit, u feel me? I just nut on hoes and be gone n sheit. Aye I know u my nigga doe, so hook a nigga up so I can watch dis damn keenoe

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Ay, what East Asian films y'all seen recently? Lookin' fo some good content.

Around blacks never relax

>FOR THE LAST TIME SIR EVEN IF YOU BRING YOUR OWN FOOD, WE SIMPLY DONT HAVE A FRYER ON LOCATION.

Red Cliff is always a good one. Kingdom off of Netflix is a good series as well wodie.

Thanks, bro.

WHAT THE FUCK YOU MEAN I GOTTA LEAVE I PAID FO THIS SHIT I DON'T GIVE A FUCK NIGGA IMA ANSWER MY PHONE WHEN I NEED TO

on a related note I had a black customer come into work with a shirt with "melanin" on it

What's up Robert?

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>watching a rerelease of grease in an all white theater
>john Travolta is bout to drag race or some shit
>shout out "gee golly that guy is about to get it good!"
>Theater erupts in applause
>white guy in front of me makes this face
>hear a group of white girls say "oh my goddd he is soo cute"

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This intimidating wigger slaps yo gurl on the ass

What U gonna do boiiii?

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Five Deadly Venoms
Crippled Avengers
Shaolin Mantis
Shogun Assassin

Yo Robert, u ever think maybe they releasin too much fuckin capeshit?

Bitch I'm thirsty, grab me a Sprite

I seent this too much

AYO FUCK DEM CRACKAS AND DEM JANNIES TOO YALL KNOW WHAT IM SAYIN

One for end game Reginald and your finest crab legs.

Based

You are quite alright black child

get me a soda white boy

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Robert my favorite cracker how is you virgin white ass doing today?

this is why i pull stuffing out of the arm wrests

>I fucked Rob

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just take a shower nerd

You best be hookin a nyugguh up wit dem KANG crab legz. Shieet wez niggas rob.

kino

WHITE MAN BLACK WOMAM

Heyo don be fuckin wit rob with dat virgin shieet he a real nigga

based

yall niggas seen that corny ass white dude crying for that star trak trailer. shiiiiet niggas in my hood dont even cry when they mommas die.

They dont even like you man for real, its just for the money
Only reason you aint fucking white girls is because theyre all crazy these days and they want my dick anyway
Fuck you

"Three tickets for Black Panther please."

"But sir, you're alone"

"Tyrone will be here with my wife as soon as he finishes with her."

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>Cowabunga, user! Here's your mild crab popperz with extra mayo and your Dr. Pepper! That'll be $14.88 plus tip!

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HEE HEE

Just got sent out of Heat Transfer because I was laughing so fucking hard

Why din dem "wizards" just cast themselves out of the wackest franchise in the history of movie franchises youherme? Seriously yall each dem episodes following the boy wizard and his niggas from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been boutda same from the others youherme? Aside from the gloomy imagery and sheet, the series’ only umm *smack* consistency has been its lack of excitement and weak ass use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem fake ass.
Perhaps that shit was started when Rowling said hell no to the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure that motherfuckin series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody youfeelme? just ridiculous stacking dat paper cross-promotion for her books and sheet. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not) youfeelme), but it’s certainly the anti-Tyler Perry series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement and sheet. No one wants to face that fact nigga. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to youherme?

>a-at least the books were good though

"Nah!"
The writing is fuckin dreadful my nigga; the book was terrible. As I readed, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs." Aint that a bitch?
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times dead ass. I was incredulous my nigga. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing youherme? Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of omm, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic my nigga. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King

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