ITT times you where literally the joker
>see do not remove sticker on a mattress
>get out scissors and cut it off
SOMEBODY STOP ME
ITT times you where literally the joker
Austin Taylor
Other urls found in this thread:
Evan Turner
>start pissing
>teacher comes over and asks #what are you doung user?
>#I am Pissing Madame, care some lemonad?
>piss into bitch mouth
>she happy as bitch
AND THEY RUN WHEN THE SUN COMES DOWN
Matthew Bell
The Joker (2019) is gonna be so good bros, can’t wait to see it with y’all in the theatre opening night.
Jayden Kelly
>teacher says I have to get a 10 to pass
>get a 9.8
>still pass because they don't want to give lectures on holidays
Bentley Cruz
>Mom comes into my room
>Sees that its a mess
>Tells me to clean my room and to feed the dog
>I clean my room but don't feed the dog
>instead i slice open the dogs stomach and watch the intestines plop out on the floor
OOPS I DID IT AGAIN
Leo Smith
>walk past bus stop
>people ask me what bus should they catch to go somewhere
>tell them the number
>walk away as they get on the bus
>they got on the right bus but in the wrong direction
THOSE THAT WORK FORCES ARE THE SAME THAT BURN CROSSES
Hudson Lee
>boss tells me to only print in black and white
>print in colour
I SCREAM, AIM AND FIRE
Benjamin Gutierrez
>want to go to bed
>don’t listen to my body and stay up instead
THE SUNNNNNNNNNNN GOESSSS DOWNNNNNNNNNNN
I FEEL THE LIGHT BETRAY ME
Michael Gray
>Funpost on Yea Forums
>Get banned
>Wait out the ban
SOMEBODY STOP ME
Ayden Ross
>asked the doctor to make a balloon animal out of my genitalia.
Jason Roberts
We truly live in a clown world
Gabriel Lee
>fart
AUSCHWITZ THE MEANING OF PAIN
Eli Jackson
>teacher picks me to answer a question
>don't answer because it's rude to talk in the middle of class
ONE NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
Jack Howard
>coworker asks about my Easter plans
>tell him my wife and I are doing an egg hunt for the kids
>I’m a kissless virgin
I’M A BITCH, I’M A LOVER, I’MA CHILD, I’M A MOTHER
Sebastian Morales
>Asian tourist comes up to me on the street with a map
>prease herp me find tlain station
>walk him to the closest bus stop
BACKSTREET’S BACK ALRIGHT
Matthew Barnes
>find this thread
>read through it to make sure I understand the formatting of this particular model of shit posting
>Think I understand
>attempt to replicate
>amusing but not as good as expected
PEOPLE ARE STRANGE WHEN YOU'RE A STRANGER
Joseph Hughes
I unironically cackle like a the joker when I see some wh*te women with a mutt spawn, and 10 out of 10 every single time there's no father around with her.
Hunter Johnson
These only work with the Leto joker
Jonathan Torres
>homeless woman asks if I can spare some change
>I tell her we all need a little change
HEY NOW, YOU'RE AN ALL STAR GET YOUR GAME ON
Alexander Flores
>go to porno shop
>go into gloryhole booth
>suck multiple cocks
>let multiple guys cum inside my ass
>I'm not actually gay
James Young
Also
>try to make this post
>you have been banned
>reset router
>get new ip
>post anyway
>will likely be banned again for ban evading
>will just get a new ip again
>jannies on 24 hour suicide watch
JANNY ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY JANNY?
Logan Morales
>be In a job which holds a certain position of trust
>have sex with countless underage kids
>some I fucked up the ass just to hear their ribs crack
>after years Im finally caught but only charged with two counts of sex with a minor
>massive media attention but Identity cant be revealed because of the underage kids
>serve 2.5 years of a 6 year sentence before Im released
>more outraged media attention
>be a registered dangerous child sex offender
>go on countless dating sites to hook up with random thots and never disclose my real name
>currently In a relationship with a mother of two children ;)
Leo Lewis
>don't post for a few days
>go to post something
>says i'm banned
>click through
>3 day ban ended 12 hours ago
>it's like i didn't even really get punished at all
Caleb Bailey
sounds quite based if you ask me
Jack Ortiz
>am currently serving a driving suspension for 4 months
>still drive my car anyway
THEY TOLD ME I COULD BECOME ANYTHING I WANTED, SO I BECAME A GOD
Joseph Bennett
>do a little wee wee
>press the big flush button
Ryder Nelson
>go to office cafetaria
>get overcharged
>dont say anything, just pay and say thank you
LIFE IS INSANE
Elijah Scott
>have a dog
>constantly ask him "who's a good boy?" without providing an answer
>Sometimes when I play with him I merely pretend to throw a ball and tell him to get it
SING US A SONG YOU'RE THE PIANO MAN
Samuel Johnson
>orange juice carton says consume within 3 days once opened
>i consume it within 4
OH WA-AH'AH AH
Jeremiah Hughes
I do that all the time when I'm overcharged for food, because I get so fucking hungry that I realise it's not worth prolonging my hunger just to start shit. We truly live in Clown World. HONK, HONK!!!!!
Matthew Perez
Absolute madman
Gabriel Williams
based and slightly held back by social norms on a Balinese basket sowing forum user
Henry Powell
>be a boat
>open the floor
WISE MAN SAY
ONLY FOOLS RUSH IN
Jace Bell
>did this last night
>got up early anyway
SEE MY LONELY LIFE UNFOLD
Colton Torres
>not him but...
DESPITE ALL MY RAGE
Hunter White
>Hire every children's movie from local DVD place
>Intentionally scratch them all and return them next day
KILLING FOR RELIGION
SOMETHING I DON'T UNDERSTAND
Xavier Hall
>catch flashing chick who jumped off a stage at my work
>pull her shirt back down instead of copping a feel
IT IS THE BIRTH OF EVIL!
Caleb Gomez
underrated
>watch dog's intestines plop out
>OOPS I DID IT AGAIN, PLAYED WITH YOUR HEART
Levi Reyes
>see can of soda on the floor
>pick it up and throw it in the non-reciclable bin
Hudson Morgan
>get bullied relentlessly by same guy every day
>eventually had enough
>break into his house at night
>sneak into bedroom
>he's asleep with his mouth open
>put a spider in his mouth
>a butt spider
>stillbullies me every day
>
Jose Miller
>not drinking the soda
JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL
Jason Nelson
>cooking a meal
>recipe says add salt to taste
>I don't taste it I just add the salt
BOOM SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE THE ROOM
Jackson Cruz
>Axis country tourist asks for directions
>give the correct directions very politely
>*llied scum tourist asks for directions
>give the wrong directions, but politely so he doesn't get suspicious
Logan Bell
>live in non english speaking country
>foreigner needs help, asks me if i speak english
>tell him no
WAKE ME UP
>native asks me for help
>tell him im not from around here
BEFORE YOU GO-GO
Ayden Reyes
>time for me and my dog to have dinner
>put his food bowl down and sit down at the table to eat mine
>he ignores his dog food and stares at mine
>try to ignore his stares and whining and eat my food
>then eat his food as well
>immediatly throw it all up on the floor cause its fucking gross
>dog eats my my vomit cause hes a dumb dog
>few hours later he diarrhoea shits all over the house
>he should've just ate his food
IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER YOU GOTTA GET WITH MY FRIENDS
Ryan Morales
>someone bothers me
>spoil endgame for them
Caleb Hughes
>get a 30 day ban
>dynamic IP
>shitpost even harder
>jannies BTFO
Joseph Diaz
>order something online
>decline upon delivery
I'M A SICK FUCK I LIKE A QUICK FUCK
Xavier Taylor
SOMEBODY STOP HIM
Chase Martinez
>walking down the street
>some older man is walking towards me
>don't budge, he don't budge
>getting closer and closer, sweating but staying on course
>situation is critical, crash imminent
>budge at the last second, but I brush his shoulder in defiance
WE'RE LEAVING FOR VENUS VENUS
Ryan Sanchez
>Redditor jannie stickies not to spoil Endgame
>
Do I even have to say it?
Christopher Gray
>get loaded onto a plane and interrogated by a hothead
>he finds out that I'm the person he's looking for
>crash his plane with no survivors
>mfw getting caught was part of my plan
THE FIRE RISES
Eli Watson
>go to subway
>order double meat meatball
>staff always struggles to close it
RELUCTANTLY CROUCHED AT THE STARTING LINE
David Stewart
>be me
>go to KFC with my gf
>eat a lot of chicken
>le devilish master plan
>peepeepoopoo.exe
>go into bathroom
>pour poopies all over the toilet seat
>leave unflushed turd in the bowl
>pee all over the walls and into the kfc bag
John Diaz
>be me
>8 y/o
>at school
>recess time
>decided to take a piss in the field because I thought it was cool
>proceed to tell everyone
>one kid thought they could get me into trouble by telling a teacher
>tells the teacher
>they look for 10 minutes but give up because they can’t find the pee spot
>mfw they walked in my pee spot while looking for it
Easton Diaz
based irl frogs
>be me again
>live on my uncles chicken farm
>he gets mad af at my antics
>nearly gets fired by the upper boss because of me
>take a big poo in the back compartment of the toilet
>he finds it
>threatens to kick me out
>does nothing
>he ends up having to clean it
Parker Jackson
legit lel'd
Jaxson Campbell
>co-worker sneezes
>don't say bless you
YOU SAY, I ONLY HEAR WHAT I WANT TO
Elijah Jones
>like a the joker
the Italian Joker maybe
Andrew Evans
>30 day ban
>hit reconnect on OpenVPN
>give janny another panic attack
Jacob Turner
>Sometimes when I play with him I merely pretend to throw a ball and tell him to get it
This man needs to be stopped.
Jonathan Price
I TRIED SO HARD AND GOT SO FAR BUT IN THE END IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER
Isaiah Cooper
>go to public toilet
>don‘t flush after shitting
>throw toilet paper with poop on it on the ground instead into the toilet
WHOLE SQUAD FULL OF FUCKING KILLERS IM A KILLER TOO
Isaiah Rogers
Jacob Green
>perform armed robbery at the cafe my ex works at
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
Jaxon Morgan
>2 months later mug her by tracking her on snapmaps when shes with her new boyfriend >whilst wearing motorcycle helmet
SCUMM GANG!
Easton Hughes
>See a girl walking on the street
>Punch her in the face
Tyler Clark