What was the worst kinoplex experience you had?

gf and I had to sit near some guy who was there alone... really distracting as we couldn't stop staring, laughing, and honestly being creeped out at the same time

Mexicans. Everytime, always talking.

Are those arrows someone shot or something, I don’t get it

>going to the cinema all alone as always
>the usual routine, bought two tickets and the multiculturally approved combo of hummus and goatmilk, family size
>also brought a womens jacket which I hold on my right arm when I enter
>"Excuse me sir but where is your companion?"
>"Oh she's at the bathroom no worries" *point at the jacket*
>"Enjoy your kíno sir"
>a bit sweaty from that interaction but it all seems good, have plenty of time to cool down during ads
>lights go off, movie finally starts
>let out the last few farts from the warm goatmilk so I can finally enjoy my highly anticipated flick
>suddenly the opening credits are stopped, cinema staff bullies come in with flashlights
>Saw a guy drinking the offensive Coca Cola drink so they gotta be after him
>but the main cinema bully flashes right at me and yells "RIGHT THERE! GET THE LOSER"
>they are clearly onto me, should've brought a more convincing and expensive women's jacket
>the whole row is throwing me out, spitting and throwing stones at me
>cinema staff bullies drag me out of there with the whole crowd cheering and clapping
>"This is the third time you broke the 'no singles policy', you're going to jail you fucking weirdo"
>they throw me in the cinema jail, small dirty cell with no windows or toilet (pic related), just a designated shitting corner
>they don't tell me the time or date so I don't know if I was there for weeks or months
>survive on eating only leftover spilled cinema hummus and sheep blood which the cinema staff scrapes of the floor of every screening
>get to know all the other losers in nearby cells, we form a secret women hating club in there
>one other loser overhears our conversation and starts yelling at us
>brawl ensues, cinema jail clans are fighting to death
>I pretend dead so the staff throws me out in the dumpster with the rest of the bodies
>wait for the night to fall and run back home to my room
>have to start collecting good boy points all over again
rough times my dear friends.

Attached: IMG_00442.jpg (1001x653, 230K)

Markers for a crime scene, they're stuck onto bullet holes from the Aurora shooting that everyone forgot because it's lame compared to the newer ones

They're where the kinkplex front of house hangs the complimentary cheese slices. OP had a bad time because they forgot to hang them on his row.

why was that guy punching his own face?

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>go see Into The Spiderverse because roommate really wanted to see it and needed a ride
>said he'd pay for everything
>turned out he didn't have money on him so I paid
>crowd is 25% neckbeards, 75% black teens
>every time a song plays the teens get up and start dancing
>every time someone gets hit an audible "ooo dayum" comes up from the crowd
>there were people throwing popcorn at each other
Not dreadfully bad but consinstently unpleasant nonetheless

it's the equivalent of having fake grind marks on your skateboard.

0.20 is when the kino starts

I choked on a piece of popcorn and threw up in the aisle. The movie was already over and I was on the way out so fuck it, but I was young so it kinda sucked

What is this image's context?

Probably the time the building ran out of food and water and the air purification systems started failing. I almost didn't finish the movie.

They all involve children.

Got stabbed by the aids needle

Why the dude punch his face at 0:20?

Attached: chickentendies.webm (1280x720, 2.48M)

>dipping your tendies in coke

what the fuck is her problem

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kino

hope it's an open fracture

Anyone else miss the old theater seats?
The new ones make me one to go to sleep and make my crotch feel uncomfortable. I'm constantly adjusting the shit.
The old ones were designed well.

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>coke
It's gravy you dumb canadian

Welcome to America

>gravy with ice and a straw
sure...

Some whore was giving a blowjob to her musclebox boyfriend in the row behind me. I can still hear her disgusting slurping sounds as I tried to enjoy the movie. I can't stand degenerates who have sex in public it makes me angry and sick to my stomach that they'd interupt my movie with their disgusting degeneracy. Worse than furries and weebs.

>high school trip to movies
>friends and i find a spot together near the back
>teachers tell us we have to sit with our "families" (randomly assigned at the start of the year)
>get stuck next to some fat turbo nerd who smells like shit and gets up to use the restroom 4 different times

It's called Cold Carl famous Floridian cuisine, you wouldn't understand

This. Why do people feel the need to have sex in the theater? It's just nasty.

White people are sub human

Has anyone ever had a good experience in a theater with black people?

When Iron Man died in the new avengers movie

She is american...

It was Robin Hood in 4D. Something went wrong.

actual autism

>going to the cinema
Wtf

How fast can you shoot arrows, Yea Forums?

They are counting the points of the designated shooter to know how many crab legs coupons he is going to get

Did the guy do anything significant other than just sit there and watch the movie?

Yes. I also preferred the old seats. They kept you in a relatively comfortable position, but not too comfortable because yes, I want to just pass out in the new seats.

I really hate reservation if seats. I miss the first came first serve.

>white people

It wasn't the worst but it made me realize how I was an annoying shit as a teen because some of them were "quipping" during the beginning of the movie,probably encouraged by the pitiful laugh at first but they stopped doing it after their last 2-3 jokes didn't land.

Regretful kek

he was getting hyped to see captain marvel.

Time traveling Indians angry at what America has become.

Underrated

I love how based the fat people are in this webm. Big girl takes a punch like its nothing and then takes out the trash. Lard berserker getting ready for his limit break in the background.

That's not so bad.
When I was 11, I used to stick an entire tropical fruit by the foot into a bottle of blue gatorade,
let it completely dissolve, then drink the contents of that bottle.
I'm disgusted that I used to do that.

Attached: 1527642958963.gif (541x275, 1.63M)

>time to fight
>can't fight
>punch self
>why

he showed up alone, that's bad enough. the guy taking tickets did warn us they did sell a solo ticket so we should have known lol

Avatar in 3D on the weekend after release. The weed butter didn't work very well, no one made a reservation so we only got front row seats, and by the time it was over we had sore necks and slight nausea. Movie was decent though. Other than that it's always the obligatory guy behind you knocking against your backrest whenever he shifts his legs, someone who's really chatty, or someone really tall or with a freakish haircut blocking part of your vision.

>be me
>couple years ago
>go alone to see Prometheus & Alien back-to-back
>take my seat
>all other seats start to fill up
>two absolute units sit to the left of me
>the one nearest to smells god awful
>burping and munching the whole time, talking to his friend about taking the train home or some shit
>shining the flashlight on his phone whenever he dropped something on the floor
>tfw have to sit through two full movies of this
>tfw no other seats available to switch
>tfw me and others around them didn't have the balls to tell them to be quiet
wish i could go back

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Scary movies if you are going on for a laugh

Lol and so, the guy talked or was being purposely annoying during the screening right?

>friend says he will pay for everything
>ends up making you pay for everything
Your friend fucking dabbed on you hard.

Should have just asked, most people get embarrassed getting called out in public so they would have most likely went quiet.

he was eating popcorn and looked so into the movie, it was pathetic

>americans

Attached: David-Moyes.jpg (768x432, 88K)

Lmao okay angry little virgin

Mutts of Yea Forums, do people clap at movies where you live, I'm wondering if it's a certain state thing or the whole of America that does it?

>get a job for the first time, working with my dad
>after work he takes me to see Infinity Wars, I don't complain because it's a treat and all the boomers I know love the MCU for some reason
>see movie, have popcorn, have good time
>still have on steel toed workboots from work, didn't bother changing
>leaving the movie theater, about to go down escalator
>notice shoelace is untied
>without thinking bend over and try to fix it
>hear giggling behind me
>a trifecta of mean girls in their late teens early 20s laughing at me behind their hands
>awkwardly shuffle out of the way, fix my shoe laces and get the fuck outta the theater

Holy shit, so the guy was eating the popcorn he bought at the cinema and was watching the movie that he paid for, what a fucking creep

I was drinking my icee and then moved the straw around a bit but accidentally bent it improperly and some of it flew on the guy sitting next to me
my bad bro

Should have called the usher

it’s alright dude

me as the guy hitting himself

why are girls so mean

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>Why all the focus fire on one seat
That was my seat and I called him a beta

Why the fuck do you retards go to movies around the release date? Fucking go after the movie has been out for a week or so. You will have the auditorium almost to yourself and you dont have to deal with shit like this.

Superiority complex, entitlement, all whores, etc.

When my wife and I went to see Star Wars: The Last Jedi we were seated next to a kind and gentle giant of an African American man. My wife hit it off with him right away, turns out they were from the same city and grew up near each other. My wife asked me to go get popcorn so I got up during the Canto Blight scene (thus missing that part of the movie, but no worries I got to see it on the blueray release) and went to grab some popcorn. My worst experience was definitely the line. There were at least a dozen people in line trying to order popcorn, drinks, pizza and what ever else the theater had. Fortunately, I brought my phone with me so I was able to play PUBG mobile until it was my turn to order. Once I got up to order, the young lady behind the counter couldn't seem to hear me. I feel bad because I think she was near deaf or something, so I had to raise my voice. It wasn't a very pleasant experience at all. Anyway, I went back to the theater to find my wife hiding under the African American man's jacket on her knees! It was the funniest shit I ever saw in my life. She seemed a little flustered as she saw me. Having a beard really do make the ladies like that. My wife returned to her seat and we finished enjoying the movie. Oddly, my wife accidently walked into the men's bathroom on the way out and spent twenty minutes in there. It was that time of the month (I know because we don't have sex when she's having her period) so I guess she just needed a moment.

one of your kids went missing

My friend and I started a round of applause after Avatar, the theater was full and everyone joined in. We continued to do it for every single movie, even if there was only 10 other people in the audience, they still did it too. I had never seen anyone clap at movies before that. Make of that what you will

Who's the joker that shot all the arrows at the kino seats?

I once sat next to a girl. Before the movie was over, I thought I had been in a relationship and was all confused.

>sheep blood
Someone should make a wiki of these

Don't worry I made him buy booze later

Designated shooter was given a bow and arrows for Indian Day. Same kind of thing happens on Veteran's Day, President’s Day, etc.

This was around the time covenant came out, it was a special one time screening kinda thing.
Just wanted to see the original alien on a nice big screen in 4k.

I was stood beside a female on the train and I imagined our entire lives together

based

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>go to theater to watch Thor: Dark World (that or some xmen movie i cant remember)
>about 3 quarters through the movie fire alarm goes off
>everyone gets escorted out of the kinoplex
>tell us to wait and after about 20 minutes fire dept shows up
>turns it was a false alarm, they tell us to go back to our screens so they can start the movies up again
>the movie is off everyone is just sitting there wondering wtf is going on
>after about 20 minutes someone gets up to ask whats happening
>other people start showing up
>turns out the next showing of the movie is about to start
>finally they start the movie over from the very beginning

I guess it wasnt all bad. They gave out free movie passes while we were waiting on the Fire Dept.

i have three

>Captain America: Civil War
>opening night, 945 screening
>go to nice kinoplex
>latinos, children, landwhales fucking everywhere
>during whole film the children were running up and down the walkways
>latinos taking selfies with the flash on, during the movie
>landwhales talking constantly
>go to box office, complain. its opening night so they dont have enough people to check. ask for refund, very nice lady gives me free passes

to this day i dont know if it was good due to it being such a shit experience.

1/3

A group of friends wanted to go see King Kong and asked me if I wanted to come along. Since I was busy I told them I'll meet them at the cinema. When I got there they were already seated in a row and had never bothered to save me a seat. My closest friend in the group was loudly mocking me by repeating "there's no seat for you!" over and over so everyone could hear. I had to take a seat by myself next to the wall.

At least one guy in the group offered to sit with me but he seemed to be having so much fun talking with his seat buddies when I walked in so I declined. I pretended I didn't got hurt but of course it did. The movie sucked too.

They know you're a virgin btw, a real Chad would've swooped down beside the first female in the kinoplex

>at local arthouse theatre
>midnight showing of Jaws, brand new 4K DCP.
>have seen film before, but never on the big screen and its the best its ever gonna look and sound
>grab the themed drink and chill out with movie pal.
>drunk/obnoxious people swarm in behind us (4th row)
>hopefully they'll settle down before the film starts
>they dont.
>theatre plays thing that says "If theres an issue let us know, we'll handle it"
Movie starts
>its basically a quote along with people singing songs outloud, people telling jokes about the scene ect.
>basically the fucking rocky horror Jaws Show.
>tell staff, they dont care, watch rest of movie with shit people
>tell manager after the screening, he apologizes profusely. My friend and i now have direct input in selections for midnight movies

silver lining i guess.

2/3

What were you busy with? Probably a WoW raid or something. Fucking nerd

I blame the new seats.
Makes blood flow to the genital organs more easily.
The old ones like in OP forces people to have to sit in a civil demeanor, which discourages that behavior.
These ones, they think its a fucking bed and they're in their own little island.
I don't go to theaters with them. It's getting harder and harder to find the old style seating arrangements.

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>at arthouse again, this time a screening of Eighth Grade.
>A24 Kino, much excite
>go to opening weekend.
>room is full of girls and college kids.
>film is extreme cringe on purpose
>every fucking 30 seconds entire audience goes "AWWWWWWWW" or "OH MY GOD I CANT EVEN WITH THIS" or "OHH GURRL YAAAS"
>blind with fury at this point.
>shhh the audience several times.
>waiting for the film to be over, not even sure if its a good film.

Caught the film later on Amazon Prime, and yeah its great, but my god the audience fucking ruined it.

3/3

I used to know a lot of slutty goth girls when I was a teen so I wasn't a virgin at the time. Never had a girlfriend though so you're not too far off.

Based. How long did that take?

Cuck

Something called work, you projecting gay shitposter who posts inane bullshit on Yea Forums because you're gay and sucks gay cock.

T

>not cockblocking him
If I'm not gonna have sex nobody will.

>go see my bloody valentine 3D in theaters with my mum and my sister
>two literal boomer women are sitting behind us
>talk non stop through the previews
>not too bad I think. Hopefully they stop during the movie
>nope. They won't shut up
>keep talking about whats going on in the film and explaining it to each other
>got so bad me and my sister move down a couple rows
>mum gets upset we had to move. >Goes and tells management to get them to be quiet
>they get warned to be silent
>they assume it was my mum that told on them due to proximity
>start kicking my mums seat hard
>I go up and tell them to knock it off
>yelling match breaksout and the ladies are escorted out of the theater
>find out later they were both retired school teachers
>got free movie tickets
>miserable night all in all
>movie sucked anyway

It's too late at that point.

Underrated.

fuck these seats

About a month ago, I went to see a double feature of Ed Wood's GLEN OR GLENDA and PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE. I expected people to laugh, but people in the row behind me were talking and commenting aloud on the action onscreen. Earlier the host of the event had talked over a short, so it seemed like it wasn't my place to ask them to stop,but I couldn't bear it any more, so I left. No more Dumpster Raccoon screenings for me.

>that guy punching himself in the face
I don't have a reaction image for how hilarious this is.

>old good new bad
Jesus fucking christ this board is pushing that meme to its limits.

It's true, nobody wants giant plush seats that keep your legs in the air that drain blood from your fucking brain and put it in your dick instead. plus niggers spill all their drinks and candy in them and they start reeking if you have a good enough nose to percieve.
i go to the movies to get the brain juice flowin, not the dick.

even the professionals have commented;

clevescene.com/cleveland/an-argument-against-luxury-seating-at-the-movies/Content?oid=13269669

Watching The Raid 2.

Some black woman in front of me had her headphones on so loud, and it was some song that just kept repeating "Shine bright like a diamond" over and over again. She had the song on repeat for the full length of the movie.

I tapped her on should about it and she said "it has subtitles anyway why do I need to listen?" It was out of theaters the next week and never got around to seeing it again until home release. Fuck her.

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Based black woman

>>said he'd pay for everything
>>turned out he didn't have money on him so I paid
I will lay you the fuck out cunt

have you never had a roommate?

Have you ever had a spine?

so this is the power of genuine autism

Only one of you have the ‘tism and I can gaurantee it’s not the other user

fuck roommates, you got played

same except dunkirk in IMAX and the tickets were $25 each and there were no black people

Have sex

Sex and masturbation are harmful, hedonistic activities.

see

They clearly wanted the dick

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It was Kevin, he shot them with arrows

wtf I thought this kidn of thing only happened in china, damn it rip

what a fucking nerd, if I was there I would've punched that shit in his fat face

>using a phone in the theater
karma

Chair didn't kill, him. His heart did.

Fat people are the absolute worst in theaters. They smell so disgusting, they look disgusting, and they take up so much safe. Fat people simply shouldn't be allowed to enter the kinoplex.

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Fat people shouldn't be allowed

Woman behind me kicked off her flats and kept accidentally rubbing her sweaty feet on my head.

I'm honestly convinced fat people don't have a soul. They exist purely to consume harmful foods and die.

I would self-flagellate myself if I could not control my eating habits.

No. An entire family of blacks nearly ruined Alita for the whole theatre when I went to see it. The kids were constantly running up and down the stairs and shouting to each other from the bottom of the stairs. They literally did not sit the entire time and then left with like 20 mins left in the movie. You could hear all of the white people whispering to each other about how inconsiderate it was. It’s absurd. I don’t understand why people would pay for a movie ticket (expensive as fuck nowadays) and then talk through the entire film.

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HOLY FUCKING SHIT

shitty paint skills

What weight is considered fat

>watching rurouni kenshi live adaptation
>some guy talking on his phone as loud as he can

>watching John Wick 2
>earthquake happens in the middle of the movie
>dies down but people start to panic and exit the cinema
>tremors happen
>My friend and I really wanted to go out of the cinema at this point but don't want to miss out
>decide to hold it out
>tremors again
>OH FUCK
>majority of the people bail
>decide to hold and bail if another tremor hits
>no more tremors and finish the movie
close call desu

>watched After Earth and Avatar the Last Airbender
>????

sat next to a fat little nerdy kid with glasses during the Martian and he wouldnt stop farting. I would've moved but it was a full theater so I ended up farting on him the whole time too. We gassed the place up and the streak marks were so bad on my boxers I threw them in the trash wehn I got home

>teachers tell us we have to sit with our "families"
what the fuck kind of school did you go to?

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Had a riot break out between a bunch of Hindu's and Paki - they were really going after it, ripping up the seats, using those knives they'll allowed to carry.. just me, 2 other white guys and 2 big Jamaican dudes watched this shit go down.. after about 20mins, in came the Police (when they used to Police anyway) full riot gear, beating the ever loving shit out of them.. one cop saw sitting at the front of the cinema and shouted 'Oi, get the fuck outta here' and then we were escorted out, while they were still beating the shit out of them. Fun times!

whatever weight you are, tubby

I was 2 years old when I saw Finding Nemo in theaters. I vaguely remember having to leave because there was a fire or something.
More recently, when I saw The Last Jedi, the film operator accidentally started the reel during the Snoke fight scene. A cacophony of bearded, slightly overweight white men roared in agony, demanding that the camera be turned off. Funny shit.

Any of the popular mainstream horror movies my friend drags me to see, believe the last I watched was The Nun, but the worst I watched was Paranormal Activity 3.
Normies are so insecure about being scared they tend to talk during the whole movie, if there's a suspense there's always a funny guy who has to try startle someone by making a "le funny noise". One guy jumped and threw half his popcorn backwards, on me.
Worst part is, these people(including my friend), thinks these movies are actually scary. They dont see it as anything but a cheap movie with low to high noisesq quickly being played. Also, if there's a nigger watching, you're sure he'll throw out AT LEAST 1 comment during the viewing.
Compare this to the time I watched Cinema Paradiso at the cinema, such a based experience, no talking, no niggers kicking my seat because they cant sit silent for more than 10 minutes, no Stacey's checking their phone, just enjoying the damn movies.

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Were any of those lardlungs eating from a can of baked beans?

>go see Kong Skull Island with a few fellow Godzilla geeks
>movie starts and my friend next to me who I haven't seen in forever keeps asking me random ass unrelated questions
>straight up tell him to shup the fuck up
>he looks away from me, horrified
>after the movie he won't even make eye contact with me
>the following few days my friends keep telling me he's really upset and I should apologize
>haven't spoken to him since
>now everyone from that group is "busy" and won't come watch KOTM with me
Not my worst experience or anything, just the most recent
Fuck em all anyway

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should have called usher

Fucking kek

This. Some spic was letting her anchor baby play a phone app loudly and I had to ask her to turn it off once the movie started.

Fucking zoomers.
This is why procedural crime dramas like Law and Order are important to tech these young retards.

no

How obese was this man?

the dude punched himself to pump himself up.
that's what some people do when they are VERY excited

yes, see attached

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>implying niggers dont spill their grape juice and chicken grease in normal cloth seats
At least these are leather and easier to clean
>being comfortable while watching a movie is now bad
Jfc

Take that back

How the fuck did this cause him a heart attack? And if it didnt why is it the "effects of the accident" and not the effects of a heart attack that killed him???

Why do you even go to such hipster gatherings?

damn. his foot is just flopping around at the end

They were eating some kind of sea food from the smell of it.

Probably the heart attack wasn't the only blood cloth that went on a journey because of his "accident"

They sometimes take up two or three seats, smell awful, are impossible to get around in the aisle, and their fat hamhocks take up the whole armrest. There ought to be a requirement that fatties ride a power generating bike for the projection in order to visit the kinoplex.

>acts like an asshole for no reason and loses all his friends
And i gurantee your the kind of faggot who also cries on this site about being lonely.

Post your a pic of your triceps Mr. Heavyduty.

based

Heh. Duty.

the first time I remember it happening was during LOTR when gandalf ko'd saruman. heard it more ever since. I think I would cringe to death if I saw a superhero movie in theaters.

>At least one guy in the group offered to sit with me
Based Chad

>My friend and i now have direct input in selections for midnight movies
Cool

When the black guy died in Final Destination 3 a black dude right behind me stood up and yelled "OH SHIT THAT NIGGAS HEAD GOT CRUSHED" and was silent the rest of the film so that was pretty funny

at toy story 3 i had a seat next to a shaky assburger kid that tried to hold my hand several times

What fucking age are you, kek

>start kicking my mums seat hard
I would have killed them

I've luckily avoided most of the shitshow theater experiences people have. The worst would probably be when I tried to see Valkyrie only for the projector to die five minutes into the movie. Never bothered actually watching the movie after that.

based final destination flick

*ahem*
youtube.com/watch?v=CMKWPtJc18c

>accidentally

Last weekend i watched Shazam and someone was farting on the room, the air was off and the smell was horrible

I don't know who farted, but he silently farted for the entire movie, jesus christ

>me, 2 other white guys and 2 big Jamaican dudes
I'm making a team

>*turns around*
>"do you fucking mind?!"

I WILL SURVIVE ON MY OWN

What a beta faggot, jesus

>tfw from Finland and worst experiences amount to people coughing every now and then
I wouldn't mind seeing someone go apeshit and start trashing the theater, would make for great conversation material

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Cute!

There’s so much going on there lol

Underage

When your skin is touching skin anywhere else except your ass & armpits when standing normally, that's when you're fat.

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My dick is touching my balls and my balls are touching my thighs.
Does that mean im fat?

Attention depraved autist who gets too much stimuli off of things happening around him

it means you're gay

What the fuck is usher gonna do, sing at them?

Would be based if it was a girl

yeah, his horrible singing would obviously make them go away

What's with people looking at their phones during movies now? Not to mention the retards that turn on the rapid light flasher on the phone like an idiot.

It drives my autism crazy when they do that.

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>tumblrina_stops_the_beta_rebellion.webm

Phone killed the attention span.

If you're standing normally and your balls are touching your thighs, then yeah, you're fat. Or you have testicular cancer, either or.

>went to a 10AM Prometheus screening
>single person in the theater
>movie sucked

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what if my balls are really big, my dads are the same size

>>a trifecta of mean girls in their late teens early 20s laughing at me behind their hands
They were probably flirting with you.

Lsrdo used orbit
Lardo is confused
Lardo hurt itself in its confusion

watching training day in a theater on the south side of chicago was an interesting experience

Based

Imagine paying somebody $100,000 to put sticks through bulletholes to verify somebody opened fire in a room with 200 witnesses.

y did they shoot a bunch of arrows into those seats??

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nigger manlets almost ruined my kaijukino
based. don't let anybody ruin such a sacred time

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more like, consume hamful foods

You're fat, the fat distribution has focused on your balls. Just like someone might have the fat distribution focused on their legs or belly, doesn't matter, still fat.

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PLEASE MAKE A GIF OF THE FATTY BERSERKER PUNCHING HIMSELF

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Soundtrack @ 0:20 secs
youtube.com/watch?v=qwJj2EpC8vg

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kek

That's not even a weird combination.

but my height is 5'7'' and i weigh 147 lbs, my balls are big though

How do you know that?

>go with family to watch movie (forgot what it was, probably some disney thing)
>theatre is packed with kids
>row behind us is some boogery snot who won't shut the fuck up, has clearly already seen this movie
>always tells his friend next to him to "watch this next part because it's so funny"
>repeats literally (literally) all of the jokes right before they happen
>about 90% sure he was standing in his seat at some points

fuck matinees

This can be difficult for anything not a guaranteed hit. My local theater pulled Justice League after only a week. Literally only had a single weekend to catch it.

Also, you then have to combat parents who bring in small children and toddlers. Most normally do this weeks in.

3 is kino

> ruined Alita
Based. Fuck weebs.

Also, tons of theaters pull the movies from the imax/Dolby Cinema screens and put then on smaller shit projectors.

I remember going to see The Force Awakens and all the space scenes looked gray. I have a high quality 70 inch 1080p OLED that can do far better with the Bluray ffs.

autism

>Goes to cinema with a bow
>Kills lots of people
HOW? it takes time to reload each arrow, at best you can kill like 3 or 4 but thats it

t. acorn dicklet

what? you dont bathe with your dad? thats sad man

probably too hot and she didnt feel like waiting

This.

Most theaters that still use 2k projectors are shit. You can get a superior home experience versus those.

Apparently it's a big thing in Korea. There's a local Korean fried chicken joint that does tendies smothered with cola syrup.

That hurt and I'm not made of copypasta

I'm actually in the same boat. Unless it's in the Dolby Cinema or a special 70/35mm presentation, then it really isn't woth my time anymore.

My home system is a 65 inch 4k HDR tv with a full atmos sound system.

I spit on the casual theater projector.

does atmos really make any difference?

>went to go see the fate/stay night movie last month with some friends
>also bump into chick i know from hs there
>old couple and their twig weeb son are there before us
>laugh it off and theorize his parents were proud of him for getting out, only to be disappointed again
>movie has sexual scenes in it
>see chick at college, she apparently fucking knows him and said the dude forced his parents to watch the series and the previous movie before going to see this one

>enter player 3
>finally got him on the ground, walk away
>dude hitting himself in the background
There's a wealth of WTF in his webm.

it's even better with sound
streamable.com/ej6g7

It's pretty great, but IMO a normal 5.1 with a lossless capable system is still quite worthwhile. The ceiling speakers are a bitch to get right and basically can only be down well if you own property.

The sex scene isn't even graphic. You just see her back/curves and then the top rim of her breasts

>not fucking her
Do you even power move

My little brother was in the theater next to this one when this happened, I've been to movies here 100 times. It's still weird to me. I also CC regularly, that's also in the back of my head.

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A family of negros got up in the middle of the movie and took a family photo with flash. Even in 3rd world cunts nigs cause the most trouble
T. Spic

this unironically

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Very meta post user

fuck

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only if I know the movie will be shit

>tfw I'm 3 but I'm a man

>the designated archer forgot to put feathers on his arrows again

How can you go to sleep with an uncomfortable crotch?

>Yea Forums

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>friend invites me to a late showing of It Follows shortly before the end of it's theatrical run
>Not into horror films but decide to go it because I like going to the movies with him
>Nobody is there except for us
>Get the best seats in the theater and are joking around waiting for the flick to start
>About 15 minutes after it starts 2 black guys walk in
>They sit a couple of rows behind us
>As soon as you hear them start talking it's apparent they are flaming faggots
>The entire time they're there they don't shut the fuck up and keep talking about the movie and reacting all in gay flamboyant ways
>At one point they try to start conversation with us and me and my friend just look back and give them a dirty look
>Shortly after that they leave and me and my friend can enjoy the rest of the flick in peace

Only thing more obnoxious than niggers in a theater are gay niggers.

Me at 0:20

>gay niggers
these usually don't last long, since black people go extra savage on them

you'd make a lovely couple with this girl i knew who was actually like no 1 - wide shoulders & beer gut. even with her 7/10 face and nice ass she looked like a fuckin boomer plumber

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Once got a handjob in the back row. Came in my pants. Had to sit through the rest of the film with semen in my underwear.

>No blood
Classic .223

>he doesn't know about the Cinema Arbalist

>Smallfoot

You got me.

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Honestly, that movie wasn't so good to begin with.

I did, however, have a similar experience, where this black dude in front of me kept on going "mm mm mm" for the last 15 minutes as all the twists were uncovered.

>watching Blockers opening night
>Crowd is fine
>Notice a white trash family walk in with young kids and a baby
>Was a manager at that time and knew for a fact that shouldn't have flown (children under 6 cant be in an R-rated movie no matter what)
>Text my coworker seeing who let them through
>No reply
>Baby starts crying
>Fat Mom leaves to shush them
>Watch the majority of the movie with zero distraction, thinking the problem got taken care of (say a manager saw them leave and then told them they weren't allowed a baby in the theatre)
>Last 30 minutes, mom comes back with the baby
>Mildly annoyed but otherwise finish the rest of the movie no problem
>stay for the credits because why not, see the family all arguing and gathering their things

All things considered not the worst experience but considering I almost never have had issues in the movies, that's my "worst"
Second worst was almost having an anxiety attack worrying if I put the PG version of the "What Men Want" trailer over Bumblebee opening night (why they wanted to advertise an R-rated comedy to children, I don't know)

I'm 5'9, 185lbs and I can do 20pullups. I would say I'm skinny fat, but my pull up game gives me favorable proportions.

crickets were chirping in the imax i went to see br49 in. had to ask for a refund forty minutes in

>try to watch Baywatch
>Previews just ended
>suddenly alarms start ringing
>falcons freak out in every row
>ushers come in with the theater police and drag every single person out
>had two points deducted on my kino license for violating the policy 6 years ago so they drag me out as well
>after going through the dark corridors I find myself at the bathroom
>Robert shaves my head and pushes me into the shower
>I clean myself quickly and nervously
>get pulled out and dried by the bathroom kinopolice
>put on cinema soldier uniform
>drill sergeant comes out amd starts barking orders at us
>only understand half of what he's saying, something about raiding an enemy kinoma to finally end the war
>he makes us shout the theater pledge of allegiance
>I memorized it so I'm good
>we rush into a bus, picking up rifles along the way
>20 minutes later we arrive, but the cinema bombs force our bus to crash into the theater lake
>swim to safety pulling a guy with me, couldn't save a neckbeard that drowned
>shoot down some enemies and advance to a capture point, but get knocked out by their Kino General
>spend the next three months in the popcorn mines until they let me go
>movie I wanted to watch isn't even in theaters anymore
>suddenly wake up
>was daydreaming the whole thing in front of two Stacies before another movie was starting
>had reenacted the whole thing in front of them too
>they look at me and laugh
>mfw

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I'm fucking laughing at the thought of blacks dancing during the movies. Thats such a thing they do lmaooo

Only when the movie is shit do I enjoy the tom foolery of the uncle toms

Honestly forgot kids actually did this. Do they still? How many posseurs are there now?

>2nd falcon this week gets killed by the cheese archers
ive had enough of these fucking amateurs, never supporting my local kinéhouse again

That's nothing. I had a buddy growing up that would run his Warheads under the tap to wash away all the sour powder. Now that is monstrous. Dude should've just gotten Jolly Ranchers if that's the route he was gonna take.

>White 'people'

They walk away because they realize he's snapped his ankle

Every Kino experience is a nightmare. Every time I try to watch a movie, my wife has to ask a question every 2 minutes about what's happening (especially when it comes to movies I've never seen).

I now have to watch movies by myself.

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Here are some
>last jedi
>sat in the back opening night
>kids
> movie as shit
Little worse
>seeing the circle with family
> smittys where you order real food
> dad fell asleep and started snoring
> food as bad
> five minutes after the film ended I tried to wake my dad up
>movie was a waste
The worst
> jurassic world
> saw with family
> movie was good but I got sick during the movie
> something on my left side got infected or something like this that made it impossible to piss
> had shit breakfast since I slept in late and we were going to be late.
>popcorn just turns into acid for me and makes me even more hungry
>soda was bad and was old since they didn't get new soda yet.
> had to go places afterwards
> too sick and tired to tell anybody I was sick
> had to wait around 2-3 hours before I could get home
> ate a shitload of crap and took Tylenol
> got better later on when I pucked out some shit in my body that was yellow later that night
Last one was the worst and I cannot get a worse movie experience. The morning of the movie I felt good and could piss so it could have been the soda since the illness didn't kick in until the movie was almost over.
Also I am fine now and it seemed to be a one time thing. I later found out I got food poisoning that was really fucking bad and I don't know what caused it.

>went to watch divergent
>didn't know it was based on a shitty teen romance book
>thought it was just another dumb hollywood dystopia movie that I could use to lose time
>room is full of teenage girls
>"oh shit"
>movie starts playing
>girls: "OMG!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!"
>main character appears on screen
>girls: "OMG!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!"
>main character says corny line
>girls: "OMG!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!"
>main character jumps on a train
>girls: "OMG!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!"
>this goes on for the entire movie
And that's why I no longer go to the movies without knowing what I'm watching first.

kek that dude got to you bad

>the Chad has a manlet slave to fight manlets for him

Based

>not evaluating women based on how they act during movies
if she can actually watch a movie and not ask you what's going to happen, she's smart and a keeper

>not fucking the teenage girls afterwards
?????

Did you at least rape him after he passed out?

Everytime I go to the theater with a date either they want to blow me or want me to finger them in the middle of the movie and we end up leaving early to fuck.

I usually have to go back alone to finish the movie, thus paying 3 tickets in total to enjoy a movie in the theather.

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>my mom asked me to take her to Pet Sematary remake for b day
>sigh ok whatever
>buy tickets for cheap theater (big mistake)
>ticket lady letting minors into an R rated movie reeee
>theater packed full of Mexicans and black families and teens
>entire theater talking the entire movie
>movie is also garbage
should have just walked out halfway through.

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Why did someone shoot arrows with cheese? wtf fucking niggers

Sounds like a real story that's happened.

Saw harry Potter and it was packed full of travellers (Gypsies) the little ones kept going from people seats trying to Rob them and asking then for popcorn and shit. I left after 20 minutes was too annoying

>Jaws
Reminded me of a story my Mom shared with me.
>be user's Mom
>go to kinoplex to watch new flick called Jaws
>big storm rolling through town too
>drive to theater was kinda rough
>get tickets and sit down in seats
>kino is kino
>boat starts sinking
>things getting scary
>WATER out of nowhere
>theater begins flooding
>people start screaming as water level rises
>movie ends early and everyone evac'd to main lobby

1999 Star Southfield (Michigan). Nice theater at the time, the largest with hundreds of miles. One of the first with like 30 screens all stadium seating (most didn’t have stadium seating). But Southfield is a nigger area and I saw the sixth sense and half the theater was full of niggers pointing laser pointers at the screen and hooting and also smoking.

>coughing
I will never understand how people EVER feel the need to cough or how when you get a group of strangers together in a quiet room suddenly everyone needs to cough their lungs out every 2 seconds.

when some retard yelled out [REDACTED]
at avengers endgame

>high quality 70 inch 1080p OLED

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Npcs pretending to be human

This is basically what it's like with black people or teen's night for a horror movie.

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Join tinder and have sex like the rest of us.

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>went to go see there will be blood on a 35mm print a couple years back
>semi-date, went with a cute high school friend
>projector dies not even 5 minutes into movie, after 20 minutes get given free passes for another screening
>friend goes on a trip to japan and ghosts me following her return

same theater had a fuckup during the last 20 minutes of possession a few years later, still havent seen the ending of that movie

another one, but moreso funny
>saw that perfect blue was making a return to theaters for a single screening
>had to drive hour and a half, closest theater had sold out by the time i knew about it
>get to theater, sit down with snacks and look around theater
>dad and his 10 year old kid walk in and sit down in damn near the center of the theater
>they stay the entire time

to this day, i question what the fuck was going on there

>went to see the force awakens with gf
>she breaks up with me halfway through the movie
That wasn't even the worst part, having to watch the force awakens was worse.

But I am married and I'm a Christian.

It's the polar opposite in Northern Europe. We're introverted as fuck. Nobody even claps or reacts in anyway at the end of a good movie.

Three separate packs of female nig teens...at a fucking onions horror jumpscare fest. God we should've left.

Tinkers at the movies? Where do you live?

This wasn't funny. You're fucking autistic.

She is the modern day version of Bart saying "I didnt do it".

instagram.com/slickenfingers/?hl=en
youtube.com/watch?v=h7VlU60JJII

>Go back to see the guy punching himself at 00:20. Expect it to just be one of the guys fighting to throw a punch too far, hitting themselves with their arm.
>Random fat guy shows up and goes Star Platinum on his own face!

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Extended arrow mag.

I never had any really bad experience but I think I gave them when I was a teenager. Don't remember the movies but roughly 14 years ago

>was 12
>middle class didn't go to the movies that often
>grandmother of a friend was a banker and old, she had a lot of money. Would take me, friend, his younger sister and his older sister to the shopping and pay for everything, first time I ever had the bucket of popcorn size was because of her
>this friend was literally the devil incarnate, but he would act good in front of his grandma but when we were at school or anywhere else he would be the devil
>his sisters also were into it, like making chaos
>we would go the cinema and try to create as much chaos as possible without being caught
>throwing popcorn and Mentos, throwing coke with the straw, making people nervous without them really knowing we were the ones doing it, once making two people getting kicked because they thought they were the ones throwing shit
>for about one week every 4 months his grandma would come and take us to the shopping and cinema

Now you ask me why did we do it? I have no idea, he was chaos in person back then, I would just follow because I wanted to get his sister's attention and because he was my friend.

>said the dude forced his parents to watch the series and the previous movie before going to see this one
BASED AND REDPILLED

My wife shuts up and pretends she understands the themes in the movie when we discuss it. She will reword my synopsis in a attempt to appear intelligent.

jfc the fucking guy decking himself got me badly

feels good to have a local cinema in a refurbished old building with comfy seats and you can order meals and snacks beforehand
brit too so rental knives for the cinema stabber are cheaper then rental handgun + ammo and earpro

>to this day i dont know if it was good due to it being such a shit experience
It wasn't.

70mm/35mm projection is garbage compared to standard 1080p HD. A 35mm release print, which they thankfully stopped producing, had a projected resolution that was less than 1080p with shitty colors, dirt, and focus problems.

Film only has a high resolution on the negative. Nowadays all negatives are scanned. Most intermediates are 2K. Even the biggest blockbusters are only 2K. The old optical contact printing process was negative (including film out CGI or dupes of effects) to interpositive to internegative to release print. At least four generations. The IP smudges vertical resolution because of the two different rates the films are slight offset running. When the RP is projected it’s absolutely garbage. And the resolution that was counted was made up of low contrast black and white line pairs meaning a normal movie would be far lower. Less than 720 on average.

When the hateful eight 70mm projector broke, they digital projection in 2K was superior. Large film formats suffer from gate movement which smears details. When they came up with the 2K digital imax they did so from projecting line pairs on an imax film projected and from the middle of the theater the lines became gray before they even hit 2K

Why would anyone go to the theater on any day that isn't Monday Tuesday or Wednesday?

The screening was fine, but when I went to see TFA, I made a point of making one complete lap around the building so that I understood where any given exit would dump me on the sidewalk/street, to get bearings on my surroundings ahead of time. Then when I got in the packed theater, I made a point of getting a corner seat near the front exit so that I had the two options available if I started to hear any popping noises that weren't popcorn. Foolishly, the theater let me in even though I was alone.

Watched a mid-day average screen size screening of Apollo 11 with a dozen or so old boomer couples a few weeks ago. It was comfy as fuck, largely because the audience were older white people.

>Fat kid punches himself

Why tho?

>that dude who just starts punching himself

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>me and older brother sitting in almost empty theater for Aquaman
>bunch of dumb and loud teenagers enter the theater sit EXACTLY behind us
>I immediately whisper to my brother that they're gonna be a fucking problem
>mid-movie the loudest chad of the group who's sitting RIGHT behind me starts lightly kicking my chair
>after I while I turn around get up and tell him to stop
>he gives me half a nod, barely looks at me but doesnt argue
>that aint good enough you lil shit
>keep standing blocking his movie and ask him "Do you understand?"
>he nods obediently
>stops kicking
>movie goes on
>starts using his foot to vibrate my chair or some shit
>brother turns around tells him to stop
>they finally stop but are still loud as fuck

Should have just moved to a different seat instead of battling with them, honestly.
Am a girl btw, and stuff like that always happens to me in movies, that's why I hate going to the movies.

Some kids at Rogue One who didn't understand that the movie was taking place BEFORE the original trilogy and were very loudly trying to piece it together to determine why the characters were alive.
They were also black so they spoke ebonics. I have absolutely nothing to against people of different cultures but FUCK they were obnoxious.

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*ahem*

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>got to kinoplex alone to see br2049 again
>empty theater(been out 2 weeks)
>choose comfy spot in middle rear
>chad and stacey come in, sit in same row 4 seats down
>she literally blows him for 2 hours straight
>they keep snickering and looking my way
>my austism prevents me from acknowledging them

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so did you jack it or what

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