Could this BE any more of a Seinfeld thread?

kino

I need Elaine gf

shes a whor

I can't BELIEVE this is a Seinfeld thread.
What's the deal with Seinfeld threads.

Based af

>George regularly dates people far above his league
>George somehow gets engaged to a 8.9/ 10
>immediately tries to get out of it so he can go back to dating random girls regularly
>"omg I'm bald and a loser"

>whats your favorite animal?

>I, I dunno...a frog

>a frog?!

>frog is wrong

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kino

You just reminded me to catch up on comedians in cars getting coffee.

Why couldn't Jerry and Elaine make it work? They seem so perfect for each other.

Two neurotic, loose Jews don't make for a good relationship.

>(((urbanite))) trash
Nope.

youtu.be/zIqlKt56mAk?t=794

Elaine is not a jew.

The chick that plays her is, as is the dude that plays George.

Kramer is the only non-Jew of the cast.

How do you know? They never specified that any of them were

Uh-oh

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Oh NO NO NO

She's French aristocracy

why is he so great?

youtube.com/watch?v=fcxfc-a-xW8

PEEPEEs and WEEWEEs

Could you BE using a joke from Friends and actually too stupid to know it?

>Tobacco companies? I've been wanting a piece of them years.

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>tfw bald and ugly

How the FUCK did George nearly fuck Marisa Tomei? How did he fuck almost every week? How did he end up RELUCTANTLY fucking that solid 7 secretary?
What was his secret? I need to know. Please. I'm tired of cumming in my own hand.

Were the 90s just a different time? Could you really just approach 100 women and ask them for their number, and even if 99 told you to rot in hell, you'd still get lucky once a week?

Or is it just a confidence thing? Can you do the Boomhauer technique even today? Even when you can be smeared across social media and even prime time TV for having bad game?

Help me, please

In "The Serenity Now" Elaine's subplot revolves around Jewish men finding her attractive because she's not Jewish and therefore doesn't remind them of their mother. Shiksa-appeal

>episode opens up with George worrying about looking stylish for people
>ends up wearing a fedora and trenchcoat
>the gang thinks he looks stupid, but George thinks he looks cool
>George ends up becoming a part of a group of similar dressed men that talk about their troubles with women, and George believes he's found his people
>Meanwhile, Kramer has reason to believe that Newman may have been involved in the Boston bombing

How can you be THIS retarded?

Is Yea Forums really dumb enough to not be able to distinguish an actor from the character they play?

I thought she was spanish

Probably the best scene in the show, never gets old.

>You think this is all a big joke don't ya!
>Well I got a flash for ya joy-boy!

Hold on. Did OP say "Could this BE any more of a Seinfeld thread?" or "Could this be any MORE of a Seinfeld thread?"

Larry David's delusion

>She's French aristocracy
SInce when jews are considered aristocracy in France?

I think it was "could"

>uh, no dude the character I play is white Anglo-Saxon. If you're attracted to my character you're attracted to a white man.

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The characters are goyim in name only.

Here's to feeling good all the time

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tons of poc and some queers too

underrated post

>George gets major anxiety over a girl he met over a dating site and thinks she's too desperate because she's on 3 separate dating sites.
>Elaine: "How do you know that?"
>George: "Because I'M on all those sites too!"
>Kramer somehow manages to catfish himself.
>Jerry: "How did you even catfish yourself? It's not possible."
>Kramer: "Oh I'm good, Jerry. I'm really good."

>Jerry finds out the girls he is dating knows Newmans wi-fi password

>Kramer: *tsk* She's a roastie
>Jerry: A roastie?
>Kramer: Roastie, Jerry! Roastie!
>Jerry: What does that even mean?
>Kramer: See the sandwich? See how the meat is flapping all around like curtains on open window?
>Jerry: Oh no, she's a roastie?
>Kramer: She's a roastie, alright. Like the aftermath of carving christmas turkey with a power drill

>Elaine matches up with Uncle Leo on Tinder
>George decides to sue the wedding invitation company for poisoning Susan
>Kramer installs ipads all over his house so he can facetime Jerry at any moment
>Newman accuses Jerry of "cultural appropriation" on Twitter because of a Post Office joke he made

Kramer: Memes Jerry!
Jerry: Memes?
Kramer: Oh memes Jerry, it's the way people talk now
George: I've seen memes
Jerry: You've seen a meme?
George: All the memes
Kramer: Bane meme!
Jerry: A bane meme?
Kramer: His a big guy jerry, a real big guy, big guy big meme
Jerry: He's a big guy?
Kramer: ...for you.

oh, i stand corrected

>Kramer rents out his apartment every night on Airbnb and lives in the hallway.

Kramer: I’m making bank Jerry, making cash hand over fist!
Jerry: You’re homeless!

Elaine sends a text message to her boss which autocorrects something to seem racist. She has a work's function that night and brings George for support. He persuades her to pretend she's seen 12 Years A Slave so as not to appear racist.

Geroge's girlfriend's dad passes away and thinks that LOL means "lot's of love"

Jerry: [examining Geroge's phone] So, her dad dies tragically, and you send "L - O - L"
George: I thought it meant lots of love!
Jerry: Her dad died though Geroge, you texted!
George: I was busy!
Kramer: LOL out loud
Jerry: Laugh out loud out loud?
Kramer: BRB [exits apartment]
George: Bright red blood?

Jerry's girlfriend still uses a pager.
George removes his date of birth from facebook and no-one wishes him happy birthday.
Kramer records his own audio commentary for DVDs and becomes an unlikely internet sensation.
Elaine gets fisted.

i love Newman's general enthusiasm. he just loves every minute of his life except for that time he didn't get the transfer to Hawaii but he got over that pretty quick

>elain gets fisted

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Could this be ANY more of a Seinfeld thread?

> The WHOLE hand?
>The WHOLE hand, Jerry. He just greased it up and in it went! I felt like a Muppet.

Kramer and Newman have a money making scheme buying normal cheap fruit and veg and selling it for double the price claiming that it is organic.

George discovers webMD
"I've got brain cancer, smallpox and enlarged testicles Jerry!"
'Enlarged testicles?'
"Okay! brain cancer and smallpox then!"

Jerry's new girlfriend is Christian and they go to watch 'The Passion of the Christ' at her grandmother's for easter. The grandmother looks at him every time the jews do something bad to jesus.

George insists he could out-eat Adam Richman of Man Vs. Food.
George: I'd like to see Man Vs. Costanza!
Elaine: So, you're not a man too?

Elaine buys defective yoga pants.

>jerry does a fundraiser show for aipac
>george begins dating a tranny
>elaine becomes obsessed with capeshit movies after seeing newest trailer with brie larson
>george’s new trans gf convinces george to become a tranny
>jerry meets donald trump and thanks him for miga
>kramer and newman start recording an alt-right neo-nazi podcast
>special guest star mike enoch (larry david as donald trump)

>So how much did they see? Just the crack or are we talking full on Whale Eye?
> Imagine Shamoo winking to the crowd at Seaworld. I saw the whole thing in the mirror. The guy behind me told me after the class that he'd pay me $50 just to sniff it, he said something about a "braphog"? I don't know what that is.

Kramer dates Scarlett Johansson convinces her to get a breast reduction

Jerry: Are you crazy?
George: An affront to God...
Kramer: What?! They were hurting her back!

Kramer reads the entire iTunes user agreement

George buys miniature items to put in the photographs when he sends dick pics so to make his penis seem larger

Elaine sex

genuine lols

youtube.com/watch?v=uYx9RH1Vo2E

kino

Elaine goes with a date to a party and they end up playing 'cards against humanity'. she offends the host

Elaine: how was i supposed to know he'd been diddled by michael jackson?

>Kramer borrows Jerry's car
>Jerry orders an Uber
>Kramer shows up as Jerry's Uber
>Kramer: "That'll be $14.50 Jerry"
>Jerry: "But it's my car!"

This is the most accurate modern Seinfeld plot

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and it gets posted literally every time someone mentions seinfeld

It's a simple answer really

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George tries to grow a beard to look 'hipster'
Jerry: You look like an ugly 12 year old
George: You think I don't know that!

Elaine starts dating a hipster but begins to suspect he is just homeless.

Newman tries to catfish Jerry
"I don't trust anyone Newman... particularly not cali_18_fungirl"

Kramer watches narcos on netflix without the subtitles and learns to speak fluent spanish.

>Newman accuses Jerry of "cultural appropriation" on Twitter because of a Post Office joke he made
I've seen Jerry do stand-up recently and he does actually make jokes about the Post Office. This would be perfect.

Jerry needs a haircut for a date that night but doesn't want to look too enthusiastic with a "Day 1 Cut."
Kramer: I've got a guy who can cut it so it'll pass for a "Day 14". He's good Jerry, real good, he can cut it long.

You guys have actually some funny modern plots.
Would watch.

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Remember when her rabbi was flirting with her?

Gorge is insulted when Jerry treats him to coffee, insisting that it doesn't 'count' because Jerry had 9 stamps on his buy ten get one free card

Jerry: Why are you angry George? it's a coffee! i bought you a coffee!
George: You gave me a free coffee Jerry, you bought nothing
Jerry: It's half a coffee!

The argument is only resolved when George insists Jerry gives him his coffee and vice versa. Little does he know that Jerry had already drank it.

George: You're taking coffee away from me now?!

Elaine realises that her New Years Eve date is a male prostitute because he won't kiss her on the lips at midnight.

George can't tell if his boss is being sarcastic in an email.

George: There should be a different font, Jerry!
Jerry: [sarcastically] Good idea George
George: What font are you speaking in Jerry!

Kramer becomes an Internet famous photo bomber, so Jerry checks his photos and finds Kramer in the background of every single one of them.

Jerry: How was he at my bar mitzvah!

*blocks your path*

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>your face, is my case.

based, unironically

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I've only watched seinfeld in youtube as 5 minute clips, still comfy desu

why would you openly admit to being an absolute pleb like that

old but gold

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George pretends he's dead on facebook and sets up a memorial page. His high school crush comments that she always loved him

George: Should I ask her out?
Jerry: You're dead
George: I'm asking her out
Jerry: But you're dead George
George: Costanza is back from the dead baby!

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It wasn't her rabbi though, just A rabbi. That's when I found out her character wasn't supposed to be Jewish, because Jerry keeps referring to it as the "shiksa effect".

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Constanza was a funny guy who wasn't afraid to get turned down. Of course he was going to have some level of success with women.

Kramer convinces George that ‘clits aren’t real’

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Jerry

Get

Ipad

....

iPad

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WRONG
jerry is jewish and so is his actor
elaine is not jewish but her actor is
george is jewish but his actor is not
kramer is not jewish but his actor is

The only Jewish main character is Jerry

You forget he came thisclose to bagging Marissa Tomei while engaged to that so-called 8.9/10

Jesus fucking kek, these are great

>tfw i actually spent an hour and half today watching some guy rant about how the main cast in seinfeld are all sociopaths and the show is mind control

Was a pretty nice listen. Youtube recommends me the strangest shit sometimes.

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post link

Post the best character to show up in only 1-5 episodes (finale not counted).

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Well Soup Nazi is obviously one of the best.

You want the true answer user?
It's not real

pleb answer by someone whos obv seen the show under 3 times

it's a goddamn tv show, you retard.

>george actor is not jewish
Wrong.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason_Alexander

also, Kramer's actor (Michael Richards) is not Jewish.

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Susan was ugly and annoying wtf

Elaine is really, really, hot. Like super hot. I think it's because she acts like a man but in a woman's body.

Crazy Joe Devola

About time someone posted it

SUSAN MY DARLING
SUSAN!!!!!

How many women have you actually asked out in your lifetime?

Delete this

2. And one of them is going to sit on my face as soon as I'm done typing this.

> The WHOLE hand?
>The WHOLE hand, Jerry. He just greased it up and in it went! I felt like a Muppet.

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