What’s Luke’s lightsaber doing here? That’s a story for another day

>caring more about the EU than the Originals
what the fuck

thanks Mike

Sounds pretty based to me

>Why is the New Republic so centralised and militarily deficient? That's a story for another day.
>How come everyone now thinks the Jedi are just a myth? That's a story for another day.
>Why did Luke leave behind a map enabling him to be found if he didn't want to be found? That's a story for another day.
>If hyperspace kamikaze-ing is so effective, how come it wasn't used before? That's a story for another day.
>What was Luke's third "lesson"? That's a story for another day.
>How did the wreckage of a Death Star…? That's a story for another day.
>Who were Rey's parents? Nobodies.

youtu.be/dPsEm18k8Qg

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Oh yeah she exists and was the flavor of the month awhile back.

JJ never answers his mystery boxes

That would require them to actually explain these things in the books.

The prequels were star wars. Poorly done, yes. But closer to Star Wars. Nu-Wars isn't Star Wars. Save for Vader raping niggas in Rogue One. That scene made me cum.
t. 43 yr old perv

I didn't even like that scene. It was like, say, the head of a Fortune 500 company randomly deciding to go out and sell his products door to door. Nigga don't need to bother with that shit any more.

t. Same age as you

c3po has a red arm from a tie-in comic, which is rarded

Do modern EUs really do this? Like if I watched all the marvel movies would I miss out on a bunch of stuff because I didn’t read comics and play LEGO games?

>hire someone as beautiful as Lupita
>make her voice some forgettable character everyone will hate immediately based on design alone

Lupita should have played Rey and Daisy should be back working at whatever Denny's they found her at

>Luke’s lightsaber
It's ANAKIN'S lightsaber

>>Why does C-3PO have a red arm? That’s a story for another day.

Got told in a stand alone comic and it was surprisingly kino.

The real reason, of course, is that JJ and co have a hard-on for the colour red, like they want to claim it or something. That and it serves as a substitute for an actual idea.
>"Using red matter…"

See also "The Red Angel" in Star Trek: Discovery. Or rather, don't.

If you were to take the nu-trilogy, and cut out everything that contradicts or retcons something else, you would have maybe a movie and a half

I can't believe we're on the last movie and nobody can really say who the antagonist is.

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JJ Abrams literally, honestly believes that the only appeal of stories is the lack of answers.

Why wouldn’t he? He gets nothing but positive feedback on everything except for Lost.

Remember Cloverfield?

They do, it's purely to sell more merch.

Why Leia, after hearing news about Han's death, is ignoring Chewbacca and walking to hug a girl she's seeing for the first time in her life? That’s a story for another day.

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She sees Chewbacca as an irrational animal, she’s a xenophobe, FUCK LEIA

>>Why does C-3PO have a red arm?

Why indeed.

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This. She is one of the few attractive black actresses but keeps getting sidelined on supportive roles

Can't wait to see his wacky hijinks when he becomes half-battle droid

>SW died in 2012, bro
Fixed that for you.

Because JJ is a shit director and forgot that he was even there. I'm not kidding, he even admitted it. What was supposed to happen was Chewbacca was supposed to help get Finn to the ward, but that still doesn't explain why she hugged Rey when they never knew each other.

It speaks poorly for everyone else on the set that day as well. There's no way none of the cast or crew didn't realise how fucked up that moment was, and yet no one challenged him.

*realised

I'd just like to point out that there's no scene in TFA where the First Order tries to capture BB8.

I can explain.

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based

Lupita is the lead in the movie ‘Us’ and gave an amazing performance. The movie itself was just okay though.

wouldn't the hand and saber burn up during reentry?

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That’s a story for another day.

>close your mouth.jpg

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I remember a lot of normies i talked with said this was proof that Rey was Lukes daughter and that it was something that would be explained in the beginning the next movie

That's the problem with this movie. There's no clear goal or motivation coming from the characters or the plot.

this

10/10

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And now he has to complete the trilogy

I cannot wait to get the Maz Funko Pop!

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Some of that stuff is legitimately fine being left. The Knights of Ren, and who Snoke is, for example. But the lightsaber absolutely needed an explanation, as did the rise of the First Order.

>Who were Rey's parents? Nobodies.
Honestly how I feel about Luke and Leia

I'm 99% sure that was Jew Jew's intention.

>beautiful as Lupita
I can't make sense of this sentence, what exactly do you mean by "beautiful" in this context?

this shit is unforgivable

>Remember Cloverfield?

That movie was horrible

Yeah and everybody played up this mythology he was gonna roll out and never did. And him using the title in two completely unrelated movies

>Lupita should have played Rey

Disney needed someone young and cheap to exploit. Daisy was 22-23 and Lupita was 30-32

some user told me he got the arm to honor another droid's sacrifice during a dangerous mission.

That was in the comics, which I don't think JJ and the rest followed.

sciencefiction.com/2016/03/27/anthony-daniels-disliked-c-3pos-red-arm-star-wars-force-awakens/

Anthony Daniels:

>The one thing that J.J. and I argued about was the fact that I didn’t like the red arm. C-3PO doesn’t like the red arm! Being the director he said ‘You’re gonna have a red arm.’ But have you noticed, because he listened to me, that the last frame of C-3PO waving at the Millennium Falcon was with a gold arm! And J.J. did that – love it.”

>Do modern EUs really do this?

They do

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probably because she knows rey and we'll find out who her parents actually are and what her connection with the skywalkers are in episode IX.

Even then, though, you'll just say they only did that to make this scene make sense to cover up his fuck up, instead of just admitting that it was on purpose.

It was suppose to be Snoke, Kylo, and Hux

Then Rian decided to kill Snoke and turn Hux into a joke.

Kylo was probably always going to be redeemed but then he need a new villain to team up with Rey to stop and that’s Palpatine now.

Barely.

Fucking nice.

And it becoming increasingly obvious he never had anything more than the broadest strokes of an idea. I can almost guarantee you there’s some schlub at Bad Robot muzzled by an NDA whose entire job is finding spec scripts that loosely fit so that JJ can clumsily bolt his Cloverfield shit onto them.

>be Han Solo
>Don't believe in the force
>one of your best friend is orange femel yadle
>she's so powerful with the force that yoda is just lazy knockoff

Maybe there will be some novels about it and that aliens adventures

was it just me or did it seem like they were setting it up for her to be Han's daughter

>turn Hux into a joke
>implying he wasn't a joke before

he was hitler in the first movie, nothing about his character was written to be portrayed as funny ot joky

just turn off your brain. its star wars just buy it

>3rd movie begins
>opening scene is Poe Dameron spaceballs deep inside Rey, fucking her from behind with his super star destroyer-sized dick while her tits are fully exposed
How would you react?

it seemed jarring after seeing how slow and crippled he was in the original trilogy

all would be forgiven

I'd probably unzip my dick and fap

He was laughable in tfa. His actor looking like he's shitting himself, having little to no screentime, having none of Tarken's cold and calculating presence, etc.

He's not supposed to be Tarken

Sis!

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Advertising DLC during the fucking movie.

*Tarkin

And for once, TFA would have been better if it had ripped off ANH harder in this case

Not only Hitler, but a real rival for Kylo within the First Order. There were even hints that a schism might develop in the organization over their differing philosophies. Then Retard Johnson turned him into slapstick material and when the actor playing the part suggested that he be given something to restore his gravitas as a character, they chose exactly the wrong thing to do: have him save Kylo.

The Hux from TFA would have absolutely shot his rival if given the chance or at the very least leave him to die. Now we have a Hux who is buffoonish, but arguably a better person than Kylo. At least until JJ swings him back into diabolical rant mode, which will just end up making him look like one of the most schizophrenic characters in movie history.

What an absolute clusterfuck.

If they had spent more time on what the first order was and how it was formed, it would've made for a much better movie. Have the new republic dispatch people like Leia to investigate this mysterious new organization forming in the outer reaches of the galaxy, and then somehow have Finn or Poe cross paths with Rey. The first order then catches the republic with a massive surprise attack with their weapon, etc

>tfw casual shitposters are better than actual hollywood screenplay writers

This was the exact moment I was DONE with Star Wars.

Better, but not good. The entire premise post-ROTJ is flawed and, regardless of how awful the Vong were, Disney should have stuck to the concept of an extragalactic threat invading.

Why was a janitor who never shot anyone be sent to a mission under Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader Snoke’s apprentice, to recover the most important piece of information for the First Order instead of being sent to a prison for guard duty or as a patrol somewhere not important instead?

Chewbacca is an old man and mature enough to handle loss on his own

Id pork her

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That’s too Star Trek-y, though Disney handled the post-ROTJ worldbuilding like SHIT

I kind of get why they didn’t do this though, but you’re right it would have been better.

They were thinking of all the criticisms the prequels got for focusing on politics in the republic, especially The Phantom Menace which probably should have found a simpler premise than an embargo over an obscure trade disagreement

It's a punishment detail. No one good wants to work under Ren, since he's nuts.

I wish the prequels started with Anakin as a teenager/adult.

>but a real rival for Kylo within the First Order
He was a joke, just like Kylo. Neither had any aura of authority or any kind of threat. They could screech but that's it.

>The entire premise post-ROTJ is flawed
How so? The idea of imperial remnants makes sense.

Also, she was worried Chewbacca would try to slip his massive wookie cock inside her for some consolation sex to cheer her up

imperial remnants shouldn’t be stronger than the Empire at the height of its power, though. It also doesn’t make sense that their strategy is to do what the Empire failed to do (twice)

The First Order has none of the drawbacks that an imperial remnant would have. In fact, they're somehow stronger than the empire ever was, able to build a planet-sized star system destroyer

I would have liked to have seen the First Order be the Imperial version of a rag-tag guerilla tactics terrorist force, and the Republic's military become strong in number and regimented. So imagine this Imperial remnant using captured Republic ships and armaments or even Imperial spies in disguise. The white armor aesthetic would still be around just reduced to a basic chest plate and enclosed helmet. I imagine they melted down lots of Imperial armor to supply more troops with an essential chest plate and helmet, 2nd hand knee pads and elbow guards, other bits of armor from conquered systems. Obviously they would have left behind the strict uniformity of the Empire out of necessity.

TFA should have been Apocalypse Now in space

I like kotor 1 the best, because it's made with love for starwars (the good ending directly referencing episode 4) and not some edgy deconstruction. Plus, jolee's dialogue was already about grayness and shit. I never really liked two because i wanted to keep playing revan. You know, what they tried(?) to do in mass effect...

I gues what im trying to say is, fuck george lucas, fuck disney, fuck ea, and fuck bioware

I'll agree with you there, they could've made an alliance of remnants that was a big threat to the new unstable republic without resorting to the deathstar 3.0

Maybe have their own version of Thrawn trying to unit the fractured empire?

And the good goy cattle LOVED it....

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>it's all the day after tomorrow

If you don't wanna change it around too much
>Galaxy is in chaos after RotJ
>TFO has Starkiller base, which they finished between RotJ and TFA, but is public about it, and uses it to instill fear in people to gain power

that would be a million times better, imagine the Knights of Ren being one imperial remnant faction that was all about worshipping Palpatine and Vader as Sith Lords, another faction (you could call it the First Order) being about military tech and military hierarchy following the tradition of Tarkin, then another faction infiltrated in the New Republic and trying to rot the republic from the inside etc, before the arrival of a charismatic figure of influence like Thrawn bringing them together under one banner once again

Fuck that sounds cool, plus the existence of all those separate factions could be explained by the fact that the galaxy is a huge place full of human cultures, attitudes, motivation etc, that vary from planet to planet, let alone between alien cultures

Maybe the remnants could start accepting aliens into their ranks, or maybe only handful do, such that it causes tensions amongst the other humans-only factions

Or at least some arising threat from the Uncharted Region.

please submit an application to disney

I agree, but that’s down to JJ’s suckass direction. He clearly wanted them to be rivals vying for Snoke’s favor, even if he didn’t know how to imbue them with any narrative weight.

I find it amazing that Kylo and Hux are two of the biggest mass murderers in movie history, yet neither of them is even a pale shadow of Vader and the Emperor.

yeah, I was thinking the same. The in-fighting could even be the thing that ultimately destroys the remnants for good at the end of the trilogy, a faction changes sides and you have iconic imperial weaponry, maybe even stormtroopers, fighting for the Republic. Imagine the redemption of a clone army faction dying to save Rey, keeping the last flame of the jedi alive, the poetry

I can’t, I’m a straight white male

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Hux was much better in TFA than TLJ. He basically told Ren to fuck off in TFA. It was interesting watching the supposed Vader replacement getting told by the Tarkin replacement to stop doing such a shitty job. I was hoping it would continue in TLJ.

I feel like the sight of some kind of imperial civil war would be good imagery too. Stormtrooper vs. Stormtrooper

It’s all about the execution

Gender politics aside, their choice of protag is super fucking boring and reeks of minimal effort or care.

yeah, it would be really cool to look at and could lead to interesting side plots with characters that were born as stormtroopers, like they attempted for a second with Finn

It's a self-insert probably

No doubt, but the boring protagonist is the side effect of a larger problem, the setting, point in the timeline, atmosphere etc is not innovative at all.

The Resistance spends the whole movie tryingto get to Luke and then send this literally who they just met to convince Luke to come out of retirement instead of, I don't know, Leia and Chewie and Threepio?
Rey being Luke's daughter or having some other intimate connection seemed like the only logical inference.

Disney should have made the threat societal chaos and breakdown -- savage bloodthirsty tribalism. Jabba squared.
Make people realize the good things the Empire had been doing by bringing "order to the galaxy". Make storm troopers look actually descent.
Things get so bad that some of the good guys team up with former storm troopers and begin re-forming elements of the empire. The key here is that the audience actually sympathizes with the effort, and is likely to cheer when storm troopers save the day from savages.
Luke's descendant is invested in this effort, as he has been the victim of savages. He is full on working toward this end when he is visited by the ghost of Anakin to save him from making the same mistakes he did.

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>, keeping the last flame of the jedi alive, the poetry

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Can someone give us 200 million to remake TFA? So many better ideas in this thread, esp these:

>Make people realize the good things the Empire had been doing by bringing "order to the galaxy". Make storm troopers look actually descent.
>Things get so bad that some of the good guys team up with former storm troopers and begin re-forming elements of the empire.
Got some hot morally gray kino right here

>sympathizing with the Nazi stand-ins

Just as long as they're fuckable, it's fine.

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Sympathize at first, yes, but Anakin's ghost appears and shows the perils of such a path.

Very fucking nice.

No, the lightsaber is made with force magic so it resists friction or something.

THE FORCE CONNECTED THEM

More like Kike Slimer Cuntsberg.

Luke's grandson is furious at the savages and is alone, talking to a voice in his head that slowly becomes more real:
>They are savages!
>voice: Yes, they must be dealt with.
>I will do whatever it takes!
>voice: Even destroy them.
>Yes!
>voice: And those who support them.
>YES!
>voice: And their families will watch them die.
>[stops and realizes how unrecognizable his anger has made him]
>The voice becomes a ghost, and Anakin appears: "There is a better way."

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Can't even say who the protagonist is. I just want everyone to die

cringe

cringekino

Stop mansplaining

>dont look at any of it
Literally what did Han mean by this? I expected some writhing mass of tentacles or some big fat self conscious monster but it’s some orange old lady