Have sex

>have sex

Attached: 825619307150104232.jpg (500x587, 105K)

>have sex
>get std

Attached: e36.jpg (680x564, 43K)

I unironically SEETHE a bit when somebody tells me to HAVE SEX.

chads don’t cult watch tv shows
>hello! like the ____ episode?
>what the fuck is the ______
this is chad

I just had sex a little while ago and now I'm in the kitchen eating a snow cone and shitposting. What are you guys doing?

>have aids
>masterbate

Attached: 1554101854062.png (493x273, 144K)

>have sex
>have sex
>have sex
Have YOU ever actually had sex? It's terrible, they want to stick around afterwards and cuddle and the bed is too hot and also sweaty and the combined body heat is too much and the bed gets overheated and they sort of think they're you're friend now but they're not your friend. The second after you cum I'm just disgusted by them anyways but they don't want to be alone because they're needy or some other stupid made up feeling so I have to take them out for some breakfast and buy them a fucking omelet that we both know she's not going to finish and then when its over you have to get her number and promise you'll call her but we both know you're not going to call her. Why would you? You already got what you wanted out of her and the sex was mediocre at best and you wasted one of the two days a week you have free of being a wagecuck, you took your valuable free time and you fucking wasted it on some average broad when you could have paid for a hooker and had her get up and leave so I could go back to playing video games.

The only reason to have sex, and I mean LITERALLY THE ONLY REASON, is that fucking without a condom on feels pretty great. Nothing else about sex is even remotely enjoyable, not the stupid foreplay, not the cuddling, I don't even particularly enjoy getting my dick sucked anymore. I'd rather eat a burrito and watch American Dad and be left the fuck alone. No, I'm not going to marry you. No, you're not going to trick me into getting you pregnant(I've had a few women really try hard with that one), and no, you're not coming to live with me in my big empty house.

For one thing, it's my fucking house. For another thing, I like it big and empty, and lastly you're a fucking bore. Women are for the most part IMMENSELY boring. No, I'm not interested in hearing about your stupid day. No, I don't care what Sarah the intern said about your hair. No, I don't FUCKING CARE ABOUT HOW YOU'RE FEELING TODAY

NOT. FUCKING. WORTH. IT.

Just turned down sex. Single moms are spooky

>describes himself as casually eating something to make his posts sound more nonchalant instead of buttflustered

two words that beat Yea Forums
absolutely based trannies and women

>virginredditfaggot tells me to have sex
>Well I DO have sex, so I tell them
>virginredditfaggot stops replying
It also bothers me to see fellow anons, who are usually right, get baited by tranny-level derailing

Attached: 1554165769838.jpg (249x229, 6K)

i know this is pasta however if an user is in this situation he must tell her "ok i gotta go run an errand" after intercourse has finished in this way he looks chad in her eyes but not a total asshole who is just kicking her out. in this way user will look like he has stuff to do and has a structured life which will bring her back for more sex as she is now enthralled by the chad aura of "i do what i want". now if user lets her stay and cuddle she will not be back for more sex as on the drive home she will start getting anxiety and doubts that she just fucked a guy who let her stay instead of acting like he had other stuff to do, in her mind she will think she user has not had much sex before and does not have other things to do. this will lead to not getting texts back.

remember user, even if you are a virgin you must act chad to increase your sexual portfolio

>had sex
>all my problems are still there
looks like i got meme'd

Attached: 1510586599045.jpg (221x246, 36K)

What are you trying to say here?

Yea Forums absolutely btfo

Attached: 1463898499995.png (1280x830, 755K)

that only virgins care enough about tv shows to lead a conversation off with "hey did you see the new x episode!? XD" whereas chads wouldnt care or know about what stupid shits on tv. everytime i meet someone new only the beta virgin dudes start off a conversation with something tv or film related

This is why I'm unironically waiting for the sex robots. People shouldn't be having sex for pleasure, they should be masturbating, since it is inherently selfish. I can do what I want when I want it and in the way I want it to whatever fetish I'm in the mood for in that moment. All the robots will do is elevate the pleasure to or greater than the real thing and allow men to only fuck women when they want children.

wrong, chads will lose their shit over game of thrones and one or two other shows

>had sex
>still cant orgasm during sex
>takes an hour and a half to get off from masturbating
Shows with this feel

Attached: 1530195204854.png (356x428, 132K)

get taste

Attached: 439-4390041_41kib-800x894-pepe-dab-pepe-dab-png.jpg (820x974, 162K)

try sticking a finger in your ass

nah if a chad so happens to like game of thrones he'll be like yea thats cool man and drop the conversation

ah-bloo-bloo

Easter?

This

Unironically finger yourself while wanking.

>takes me forever to climax during sex, if even at all
>can only really cum when getting head, and even then I have to finish myself off
>can only last a couple minutes when I masturbate

Attached: 1510987110223.png (317x415, 162K)

Then my finger will stink of shit, maybe something a bit more hygienic

Attached: 1528124306255.jpg (300x168, 9K)

Sexbots could drug you to keep you under their control

just be gay bro

Attached: 1554163406347.jpg (458x604, 51K)

bros how do i stop getting soft when fucking. i have a long cock and it just gets soft after a while

wash yourself out, faggot.

Thanks for the inspiration I am leaving my harlot girlfriend and journeying to reclaim the holy lands, just got to pack some stuff

>a brainlet has a hobby that he doesn't care enough about to remember its name or things about it.
>other brainlets think this is a good thing and call him "alpha" for missing parts of his brain.
Why would anyone bother talking about something they don't care about? This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

I'm trying to have sex but failing. My love interest has turned me down

your virgin mind cant understand the chad way of watching tv and not caring or really watching whats on

This isn't remotely true

Stop thinking about your dick and focus on the girl. Performance anxiety happens when you're very focused on what can go wrong.

wash your hand after

have sex with men

Good lord you couldn’t be more incorrect. I used to be a chad and my friends are all former chads or still Chadtier. They definitely have TV shows they love, albeit mostly garbage, but they do. Most of them love and quote Sopranos
>former chad because played football, tall, good looking, and gave countless hos the deep dicken’
>former because married and got older and chubby
>torn because when drinking will go full asshole/confident/chadlike personality

Attached: No.gif (500x209, 1.73M)

t. virgin

You need to edge more when jerking it, like a LOT more. That way you'll remain rock hard in practice with an actual thottie

Have sex

I'm not talking about channel surfing, but why initiate a conversation about what you watched on tv if you don't care about what you watched or even remember the name of the show?

If a chad owns a nice car which he washes and customizes regularly, he's a low functioning autist if he can't even remember the name of the car when asked about it.

>21 and counting
Post high scores, boys.

Attached: 1545412983902.png (1917x779, 1.03M)

you misread the original comment. it was about how virgins initiate a conversation about tv while chads do not

have sex with attractive girls

>Formerly give sex