Vader, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling...

Vader, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you not even an answer because you don't deserve one. May God have mercy on your soul.

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Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=-r0BGwNB7b4
niubniubsuniverse.com/commtechs/C09_Motti.asp
vocaroo.com/i/s0P7CGTY5dg8
twitter.com/AnonBabble

*sucks on VitaPaste*

A simple "Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerers' ways" would've done just fine

Vader was an autist. Why does Tarken always invite him to meetings?

Good effort but it doesn't really work. 1/10

>that scene where Vader walks into the war room and all the officers are wearing cut-out paper masks of Obi-Wan Kenobi, quietly staring at Vader as if nothing is amiss

Because based Tarkin knows that Vader is a whiny autist with retard strength and his sperging out keeps the Admirals in line. Tarkin gets to play good cop to his officers and earns brownie points with Sheev for babysitting after his special needs apprentice.

To stand next to his chair at the conference table and breathe while not saying anything.

Its like an unbeatable winning poker move cause every jagoff that has earned the right to sit at that table did cutthroat shady shit climbing the military ranks and now that they are where they are with other players and higher positions to be had, why stop there? Tarkin needed to let the peons know that it was him who was supreme commander and answerable only to the Emperor himself and so he recognized he needed to display something that even they don't understand to let them know there is another level of ranking in the hierarchy that an even more exceptional select few are qualified for and initiated into due to having intimate knowledge of esoteric magic. Vader was a constant reminder of whom they served.

Tarkin knew of his Force abilities and left him to enact them like the trained dog Vader was. Motti mocked this and paid for it by being out of line.

This. Motti's head was getting too big thinking that the Death Star was now the greatest force in the universe. Vader mentioning that the Death Star is insignificant compared to The Force was meant to keep all the officers grounded and quash any thoughts of using it to launch a coup. It's Vader job as right hand man to enforce the Emporer's will and remind them who is really in charge. Motti gets way out of line when he mocks Vader's religion in front of all the others Admirals. Mocking The Force is mocking the Emperor himself. Motti's lucky Vader didn't cut him half right there. Sheev would have had Motti slowly tortured to death with force lightning right there, laughing manically in between discussing the finer points of military strategy.

Idk if Tarkin knows but Vader has p
fought in war before

>Sheev would have had Motti slowly tortured to death with force lightning right there
I'm not sure if those officers knew sheev was a force user or not
i'm not sure what nu canon says, but didn't the emperor maintain the image of a politician and not a sith lord?
At the time of that scene he is only just then dissolving the senate, i'm pretty sure he's still on the dark side down low.
of the two nu canon books i read the one with vader and sheev on ryloth shows sheev hiding the fact he can use the force when in the company of normies.

>He didn’t mean no disrespect, Vader

>I'm not sure if those officers knew sheev was a force user or not
most didn't but Tarkin had his suspicions

>Vader, I think the force SUCKS and you're a homo!

>Now go home and get your fuckin sandbox

It's a Space Make A Wish thing

>Remember our agreement, Lord Vader, "no choking officers until they shit themselves" in our brand new conference room, thank you.

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>implying he invited him
>implying anyone could keep him out

i have to think tarkin knew
he was no slouch and he was around for the clone wars, he had to know.

This scene makes no sense and makes it clear that Lucas had no idea about what Jedi were supposed to be in the republic

the gravely voice guy was the only one who made sense
>tries to discuss technical issues
>superior cuts him off with arrogant response
>vader interrupts with more arrogance
you just know they replaced that guy with an h1b pajeet

>based gravelman gets reassigned off the death star just in time to avoid being LUKE'd
based

>What are you going to do, force choke me? Go ahead, let your anger run wild. Show the other officers in this room what a hot-headed, uncontrollable freak you are. Show them how prone you are to violent outbursts.

>You're angry. Angry because you know your Force and magic laser sword are useless in this day and age. You're looking for any opportunity where you can use your powers and say "See? I'm still useful!" Even if you have to force-choke a defenseless military officer. You're desperately trying to show the other officers that you're still relevant, but they won't believe it. They'll sigh and roll their eyes because the asthmatic brute had another fit of rage.

>So go ahead, show everyone here how powerful you are. You know, if they actually respected you then you wouldn't need to put on these acts. You're weak, Vader. You know it. You let your Mom and Padme die because you were weak. Yeah, I said it. You betrayed the Jedi Order because you're weak. Now look at you, more machine than man and unable to live outside of that suit. You betrayed your friends because you wanted to show how strong you are, but look at you now. You're just a lapdog for the emperor.

>What's the matter? I thought you were going to force choke me. Did I strike a nerve? Do you need to go hide in your environmental chamber? Fine, we'll stop the meeting here and resume it tomorrow. I'm taking my leave now.

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>Heard his real name was Anakin
>No way.
>Yeah. And people used to call him "Annie" for short
>pfftHAHAHA

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correct. nobody knew sheev was a sithlord. he had to maintain the narrative that force users (jedi) were evil and tried to overthrow the senate. him coming out as an evil wizard punches a hole in that narrative.

Aren't Vader and Tarkin actually bros? I remember reading a book where him and Tarkin played that monster chess game and Vader went mental because he couldn't beat him.

In the nu-canon he briefly became Vader's boss after the DS blew up till the autist got his position back and killed him.

>gets force choked
>shits himself
>dies

>ANNIE...LIKE A BITCH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

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>de wunna wunga

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>hahahaha wait are you looking at my dick?

>Implying they could even go to the bathroom in those.
Why do they look like diaper ?

>hear rumours that your partner only got her rank by fucking you
>trace the rumours back to a suspected source
>lock the guy in an escape pod
>send the pod into a slowly degrading orbit
>route the pods comms to every speaker on your ship
>have your entire crew listen to the culprits pleading, begging and screaming as he is slowly burned up
>the rumours immediately stop

Why was Tarkin so Based?

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Achupa taka mula morame

>Death Star gets blown up by a force user and Vader flies away
Pottery

He actually had a better plan.
he was pissed because they were shitting all their resources away on the death star.
he wanted to build a fleet of super star destroyers to project force across the galaxy instead of relying on 'fear'

isn't that what thrawn does eventually

i think, been a long time since i read those books and i haven't seen him in rebels
pretty sure he was all about fleets though

>shitting all their resources away
>wookie slaves
Wat

Fucking sucks that every poster ITT could have penned a better script than Rian Johnson

Yes, they had pretty much the same plan: less superweapons, more regular ships in huge numbers with the same budget.

>>wookie slaves
whats your point?
is the death star made out of wookies?
I think the official story now is that the geonosians were enslaved and built it then genocided....
but who knows anymore.

I couldn't, no way to unfuck JJ's shit writing.

Probably but it would still be pretty bad
i'm sure most of us would just fill it full of memes and the rest would jerk off Imperial officers like Thrawn until they can't cum

Do you mean the guy who sounds like he just got back from watching Norf FC and wants to discuss technical weaknesses in the defences?

>The dark lord Annnie....more like dork lord. What a faggot.

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To be honest that isn't actually all too bad for a shitpost on Yea Forums
although it does remove the little subtlety the movie had with machines replacing the force it does seem like something a young arrogant moff would tell Vader

It is pretty bad when every time you have a conversation about these movies with another fan you can come up with better plots and ideas in five minutes than what they did with a team of writers and all the resources of the mouse.

>that guy
>young

Here OP I made this for you

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tarkin brought him around to make him look tougher, while at the same time showing vader is his bitch

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>I know right?
>I asked if he was coming on the search and he gave me some bullshit about sand being course and rough
>what a pussy

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and then is replaced by pakis who rape his daughter in rotherham

I refer to him as being young because going off of the actors age he was only 31 during the construction of the first death star meaning he would only be a preteen when the Empire rose to power which is why he is so confident in the inferiority of the force because he had never seen it happen and would constantly swallow the anti force propaganda that he was given making him ignorant of the Force's true power

When I think of Return of the Jedi, this guy saying that line always pop into my mind first.

>Yea, but that nigger can fly. We were detailed to serve as his escort doing ground force inspections and he took over a shuttle and flew one time....pulled so many g's flying treetop level he made half of us puke, and a staff officer shit his pants. It was insane.

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> choking hazard

> literally chokes

Poetry.

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>The Power of the Force

frack you

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fucking kek

How would Vader react to this? He just got BTFO in front of every important Imperial officer

t. Billy Madison

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NuWars had the perfect opportunity to have this scene in and yet they didn't.

Thanks user. Keep us posted

How did he go from being a principal to homeless?

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i want lucas to cgi this into a new hope word for word

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Poor Fred Wolf he should have gotten a better shot

mottiposting is the most underrated meme

He would probably try to keep it cool first but end up running away crying and contemplate suicide. He just got so destroyed that killing Motti would only prove his point. But even that wouldn't even matter. Vader always took refuge in his rage, but not this time. He would be so sad and ashamed that he would just want to disappear.
Reminds me of the roast of Michael Scott.

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god damn, is there any on screen character, no matter how insignificant, that they haven't mad a figure of?

i mean does any kid actually play with an 'admiral motti' figure? what do they have him do, go over charts and finances for tomorrow's big military exercise?

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shit, forgot about it:
youtube.com/watch?v=-r0BGwNB7b4

if someone voices it and sounds convincing/good enough all you had to do was edit in and edit the scene to fit in

I say dump it on Youtube as ''star wars conference room'' or release the whole film on a torrent site and wait for people to realize that's not how it's supposed to be

they made one out of that one guy in Empire that runs away from Cloud city while holding a beer tank or something

>sendoo bobs muchuu vagene da bitch lasagna

>Y-yeah well - at least I don't have a gay - haircut!

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>that image on the packaging
looks like he's busting a nut

>>What are you going to do, force choke me? Go ahe.......
ftfy

Holy fucking kek! This is going in my meme folder. Thanks. user.

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good post

No wonder the sequel toys never sell. Star Wars toys will never be this based ever again.

Tarkin was pretty much the only person in Vader's life he could maybe call a friend

Tarkin is the one dude other than Palpy that Vader wouldn't choke out at the very least

at least the other dude has hair

I don't get it but that's a good edit

>George what are you naming this species that gets genocided?
>Genocide...ians
>Genosians
pottery

>You've got no right to be. Not every race has a right to exist. Inferior races spread the contagion of Communism. You have no right to be. And our mission will be accomplished. If not today, tomorrow.

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Probably go kill some sand people to blow off steam

>What are you going to do, force choke m-

Even Vader appreciates comedic timing

>now figures talk!
what did Motti's figure said?

>blocked on copyright grounds
shit

...

>tfw this made up scene that was written by some random user on a Mongolian basket weaving forum is arguably better written than any scene in the ST

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>The j-jerk store called..

>Vader huffs and as soon as Motti leaves the conference room, he forces a platoon of Stormtroopers to gang up on him. Motti is stripped, gagged and held down. Vader makes sure each troopers takes his turn, and once Motti leaks cum from ever orifice, he has two of his underlings spread Motti's thighs even wider.

>Be a witness to my power. If I'm the lapdog to the emperor, you'll by my bitch.

He enters Motti without any preparation. Slams his hips against the officer and before too long, he fills him with his hot, Mustafar-forged seed.
Then he pets Motti's hair and whispers: "This is the Rise of Skywalker." as his penis fills out once more.

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well since Vader is overpower even in the shitty Nu-Wars canon, he would probably use the rage of getting BTFO to shake the station around to show that even the greatest mechanical achievement is truly insignificant when compared to the force

does Vader even have a functional dick after getting burned, then again he could just use a force dick

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I don't think Vader has a member user. You know lava..

Is the Tarkin book worth reading?

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baste

AAAHH HELP ME TARKIN

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He has the force. He can use anything as his dick. Even other people's dicks. Even the memory of his own dick. Y'know - phantom dick becoming real. And all that just for Motti. While Tarkin watches.

Oh is it ever...Do read it. It's great. One of the best SW novels I've read.

Likely not but because he is basically a billionaire who can get nearly anything he wants by just asking Palpatine i'm sure if he asked he could get some kind of cybernetic dick that expelled a liquid similar to cum

probably just choke him after the second sentence

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It's Disney canon so in a shitty spot by default, but Luceno did good with it despite that.

>are any star wars books worth reading?

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>Oooh, Lord Vader is it getting hot in here or what?~

"Get out without younglings. Right here, out of the window. Leave the younglings."

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>before too long, he fills him with his hot, Mustafar-forged seed

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niubniubsuniverse.com/commtechs/C09_Motti.asp

>Vader
>trained dog
no
Vader was totally outside the bureaucracy, that shit was below him. He was only helping Tarkin out of his present interest.
And to answer the actual question at hand, the reason Vader is in the meeting is pretty fucking obvious. He's the one who was tasked with finding the Death Star plans.

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>molest-strokes R2
>*nervous robot noises*

Sometimes I wonder what things would have been like if Tarkin took his shuttle instead of dying on the Death Star, would the Empire have had better military planning against the rebels with him in charge going into ESB compared to Vader? Would Vader have been more level-headed with Tarkin still in command?

Tarkin was heading the final preparations for the first Death Star, he would've most likely led the construction on the second one and the Emperor wouldn't need to send Vader just to put construction on schedule

you should edit the text on the gameshow screen to say "the force is gay" or something.

The redpill is when you find out it's not about actually making good movies. Because as you said literally any fan can make better ones. It's primary purpose is political propaganda. (((You know who)))

Is the Thrawn trilogy worth reading?
I've owned the books for years since getting them at a garage sale but never actually bothered with them.

Best things to ever come out of the star wars franchise alongside ESB.

I like to think he and Max Rebo escaped the Sail Barge to start their own underground rave nightclub that Luke would visit years later to greet them in.

They're a super quick read so go for it it won't waste much of your time anyway

vocaroo.com/i/s0P7CGTY5dg8

>Hey wait a minute, don't I know you from somewhere?
>*snap*
>ANAKIN FUCKIN' SKYWALKER
>Yeah it is you!
>Little fuckin' Ani!
>I remember watching you win the Boonta Eve Podracing Classic back on Tatooine with my old man back in 32 BBY
>Man you were so goddamn fast
>I was your biggest fan, man
>Who would have thought that a little human slave boy could beat Sebulba?
>He always won
>See, I always thought it was your Plug 6 thrust coil that gave you the edge, but my dad says that it was your Stack IV coolant pump that kept you in the race, what do you think?
>Oh man, he's never gonna believe this
>Tarkan, get a picture real quick
>This is so fucking awesome, nobody is gonna believe I met Ani Skywalker
>Hey man, why did you quit podracing?
>Dude, you should come out of retirement, you were the best

> I remember reading a book where him and Tarkin played that monster chess game and Vader went mental because he couldn't beat him.
SOURCE?

That uniform is so scuffed up close

Underrated and very based

wholesome

and still better writing than NuWars

Disney should just lurk Yea Forums for ideas at this point.

>Sure I was in my early twenties during the Clone Wars and considering my rank most likely fought in them and can personally remember when thousands of Jedi were using their devotion to that ancient religion to mega flip and magically conjure up shit all over the galaxy as intergalactic sorcerer cops. Hell, I even remember when the Jedi were an officially recognized political organization whose headquarter was located in a gigantic government building on the capital planet across the street from the Intergalactic Senate where the Jedi were called upon by the Senate frequently to use their mystical sorceress powers to lend aid in conflicts and political issues but that won't stop me from being dismissive of the existence of supernatural powers!

A robotic space-sorcerer with a sad devotion to some ancient religion was teaching a class on the Force.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the Force and accept it is the most powerful thing the galaxy has ever known, even greater than the Death Star!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-human Imperial Navy champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the Imperial Senate (now defunct) stood up and held up a rock.

”Where did this come from, sorcerer?”

The arrogant asthmatic breathed quite mechanically and smugly replied “an asteroid floating through space”

”Wrong. It’s from Alderaan, which has just been destroyed by this battle station. If it were not for the Death Star, that rebel planet would still exist.”

The sorcerer was visibly shaken, and dropped his lightsaber and copy of the Sith Code. He stormed out of the room crying those robotic tears. The same tears they cry for the “Sith” (who today live in such luxury that most own galaxies) when they jealously try to claw justly earned authoirty from the deserving Imperials. There is no doubt that at this point our sorcerer, Lord Podracer, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a failed Jedi lapdog. He wished so much that he had a Jedi Master to kill him from embarrassment, but he himself had exterminated them!

The officers applauded and all transferred to the Death Star that day and accepted technological terrors as their lord and masters. An eagle named “Order 66” flew into the room and perched atop the Imperial Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and Han Solo himself showed up and shot Lord Podracer with his trusty blaster..

Semper Fi.

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fucking lol

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>Holy shit you'll never belive what Tim and I just found out!
>Some old officer was drunk off his ass and was telling old war stories from the days of the republic, you know the usual
>Most of it was just boring shit about how they killed 10000 droids on some random planet in the middle of nowhere
>But he also told us that the Emperor used to look different until - are you ready for this?
>Some black guy with a laser sword, like the one lord Vader uses, redirected HIS OWN LIGHTNING at his face
>And the guy just fucking melted
>Also apparently his name was Sheev Palpatine lmao what a fag
>No wonder he wants everyone to call him Emperor
>Hey, is it just me or is it getting a little harder to breathe? Is the air filtration system malfunctioning?

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And then an inbred farm boy from the outer rim blew up the death star and everybody died.