Rise of the Skywalker

>Rey and Kylo are brothers

Um...

After getting pimped for decades

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GOOD

>Kylo fucks his own great-grandmother

>JJ sets up a trilogy with nostalgia and ripping off ANH
>Rian tears everything down with his autism
>JJ tries to reassemble what he started
Well, this trilogy is a load of shit.

Disney wouldn't actually go with a convoluted twist like this right?

right?

>and heres why thats a good thing!

youtube.com/watch?v=-yNDmKUqfOM

this would make me happy but I still wouldn't pay to watch it

She did survive in Jakku for years already

the let rian run star wars to the ground, i don't think they give a fuck

also
>JJ
>LOST

*crickets*

Get subverted incels. All those fake fans raging over the internet about the last movie. Well guess what? You were all wrong.

>Rey is genderbent Luuke
>Rey goes back in time with Kylo
>Travelling back in time shuts down their force powers
>They fuck in preprequel Tatooine, Kylo gets killed afterwards for sperging out in front of some hutt
>Rey is sold to that flying kikelet and renamed Shmi while still preggers

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I remember the leaks about this, something about the villain using a force move that could open wormholes, and how rey would get sucked into one at the end of the movie and end up on tattooine in the past, and how she'd get given the name skywalker because she'd fall from the sky.

>obama voters
kino

>owned by a dirty jew
>gets rapped to death
It's the perfect analogy for the entire franchise.
It was indeed like pottery, I'm so sorry Mr Lucas.

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That's not make any sense because she is so skilled that she could kill all of them single-handley.

IT WAS SHMI, LUKE!

THE SOURCE OF ALL YOUR PAIN!

>both of them being bad doesn't make Lucas good
Because George is already based and has nothing to do with them.

But she went to the past, the time when we didn't pretend that w*men were cappable.

NO you retards.
>The rising skywalker is lando and leia’s hybrid baby
>This is because lando fucked leia offscreen in empire
>Lando is a skywalker because shimi is his mom
>Mace windu was hiding on padme’s ship in episode one when they were going to tatooine
>Mace windu fucked anakins mom offscreen
>Lando was born from this
>Therefore lando is a skywalker, and so is leia’s baby

so luke is now an inbred white male living in the backwoods as a space hillbilly. bravo!

she really is the first skywalker
so sure, except for the time travel

how would this time travel theory work?

>hire a director that made Looper
>have to undo all his damage by using time travelling
P O T T E R Y
Inb4: Rey kills herself before she becomes pregnant and by that saving millions because siths never rose to power because Anakin was never born

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>oh look it's a desert planet
>oh look it's a death star
>oh look it's teh sheev
JJ is doing it again. In TFA it was insulting, now it's just sad and desperate.

>everybody thinks the title is referring to Rey and not Kylo
God you people are dumb

...that's so retarded that might be true

Fuck.

IT'S SHMI AUSTIN
IT WAS SHMI, ALL ALONG AUSTIN

and Anakin. the protag and antag from the OT were just dumb, inbred white males fighting each other

kill me if this is true

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I'm sorry George

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Samurey Jack?

Now that's podracing!

That's a pretty good guess honestly.