Spend months dieting and working out to achieve peak performance for your latest role

not a chance dude, he went the 'yo lil donny' route and got face makeup, rest is all self improvement. perhaps he juiced, but he still achieved perfection

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AAAAYYYOOO LIITTLL DONNNII !!
I JUST CHOPPED OFF MY LITTLE RONNY
AND STUFFED IT UP MY POOPER WITH THIS HUGE DEVIL GLOVE THINGGYY!!
AND IM GONNA LEAVE THE GLOVE THERE TO REMIND YOU HOW STUPID YOU ARE!!!!!
HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES!!??

i just saw it
it's fucking terrible
it's like a netflix original movie

A word or two on Mila?

hot as fuck but not in the movie but boring

*but not in the movie enough and boring
sorry its late

It's not even out in my theatre

Just saw it as well. Couldn't believe how anti-climatic it was.

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Ron Pissman literally had plastic body for Hellboy

After that cringe awards speech a couple years ago I don't care.

youtube.com/watch?v=1M62YSQASsM

I'll elaborate a little more.
The movie is a poorly edited mess.

The plot is basically just Hellboy randomly going from action scene to action scene without really knowing why he's doing it. He loses every fight he's in and the editing is just jank as fuck. During an early battle against some giants he just teleports on too if one and then uses its sword horizontally slashing to cutbits arm off vertically at the shoulder. There's a lot of noticable adr and hellboy does nothing but quip. Hellboy is an awkward incel who almost destroys the earth trying to fuck mila and hes also the great grandson of king arthur which lets him wield excalibur lol. The cgi (which is in every fucking scene) is really cheap. I'm watching thenoriginal movie as I type this and it unironically has cgi on the same level as this 15 year old movie. Characters that are interesting and developed like Abe are replaced with a blsck girl who can talk to ghosts and a chinaman who can turn into a cheetah who both have basically no character. After stumbling around for an hour hellboy ends up being basically tricked by the villain and then he loses until plot armor saves the day. Also Mila controls an army of fairies that are just pigpeople.
It looks and feels like a legitimate Netflix original movie. It's bad.

I will definitely watch it, fuck that kike of pearlman tho

I'm so sorry you had to suffer just like I did.

>sacrifices
He improved the shit out of his body and can take advantage of its benefits even if he lets himself go again.

What the fuck, nigga? Shazam was 11€, this is 6€, same as the previews I like to go to. Take that double if you want and it's still nothing.

Does playing hellboy chip away at your sanity or something? what the fuck is going on with him and perlman.

What is Milas character even supposed to be? Trailers show her as mummy-like punished princess.

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She's an evil blood sorceress. King Arthur (yes it is as retarded as it sounds) cuts her to pieces in the prologue and seperates her body parts across britain. A pigman then puts her back together and she plans to give equal rights to the pigpeople and witches by giving Hellboy who is the last descendant of King Arthur, Excalibur so she can marry him and become queen of Hell, becaus when he gets the sword he becomes a demon.

I realize it sounds like I'k makijg this up because it's fuckingbretarded but I'm being serious.

So it's mummy 2.0, isn't it? Ancient evil qt looking for guy only to give him something powerfull so they can rule the world together.

yeah but believe it or not it might actually be worse than the mummy.

oh i forgot theres a part where he meets merlin kek

The Mummy was pretty cool in terms of balance between special effects and CGI. Tom delivers.

The mummy was boring as fuck. If it didn't have a waifu in it nobody would pretend to like it.

It was cool. Giving the feeling of random guy releasing ancient queen in our world. It wasn't as over the top, they kept it grounded. Hellboy already looks like capeshit tier shitfest.

The mummy was capeshit too. Tom Cruise gets superpwers at the end. Plus whatever the fuck Russel Crowe was doing. Most of it was just the most boring shit imaginable. Even when she starts wrecking everything it's just like ugly cgi clouds. Plus the added cringe from it trying to be a cinematic universe with some of the other titles being the hunchback of notre dame and phantom of the opera lol.

If you're willing to overlook how awful that movie is because you want to fuck the mummy you'll love this shit.

Begining with ISIS and that prison-tomb was great. Then scenes in ruins and forest too. Ok, Jekylls lab sucked but ending was great. You don't see hero being allowed to keep evil powers so often. Usually he has to sacrifice it and goes back to point zero. I also liked mind-connection between princess and Tom. That was cool. It's not masterpiece but still cool for this subgenre.

Hellboy looks like generic CGI overload. Any cool scenes like tombs or catacombs or something like that?

I think you're wholly wrong abiut the mummy but that's neither here nor there.
To answer your question: no. The closes the movie has to something cool is when Hellboy accidentally unleashes some demons on London. They have neat designs and kill some people and they're huge, onenwalks through the London Bridge. They appear in the movie for maybe 30 seconds.
Every fight in this movie is a cgi snorefest against various sizes of pigmen with somenNetflix level cgi.

also at one point the chink and the mutt punch some zombies on a 30 foot soundstage.
it's embarassing.

Negative 5 people wanted this movie.

Then it sucks. I liked mummy for a bit of adventure too, Hellboy seems like 1 huge fight compilation shown in trailers. Thanks for clearing it up.

I know you're genuine. It's almost the same in the comics.

Anytime there isn'g fighting against pigmen it's eithee really embarassing exposition abiut King Arthur or people sitting in helicopters. Sometimes both. Also the chink has a vietnam flashback to when he got attacked by a magic jaguar which is kinda funny.

i guarantee you the comics probably did it better.

Hellboy also does not smoke even one (1) cigar.

Gotta say, at this point I'm pretty hype for this shitfest.

>wel'll never get a good hellboy movie

feels bad man

You shouldn't be. It's not funny bad. It's embarassing and boring.

I really like The Mummy from the 90s.

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Ok. Thanks really thanks. As i said mummy had a bit of adventure instead so i ll pass.

yeah i just wanna share my suffering so nobody else has to feel it.

I'm sure I'll enjoy it to some degree.

I also heard the director left production halfway through to run off with that actress that got the head of Warners fired. Plus tons of in fighting between him and the producer. A royal shitshow all around.

Ye. I don't like overload of obvious CGI. Mummy balanced it well, Hellboy looks like video game.

He got paid to workout and get a fuckable body, doubt he cares what a bunch of comic book nerds think.

I thought so too but it's really dreadful. It's 90% quips and 10% really bad cgi. It's boring and horrible but not fascinating trainwreck horrible, just like, cheap, boring, Netflix horrible. It's like the anti-Spawn where Spawn is hilariously disasterous this is likenhaving teeth pulled.

Video games look far better than this movie.

Heard that too. Bitch isn't even attractive. Wouldn't give her a second look, even when being desperate horny. Fucked a whole bunch of producers and they pushed her around, so she finally ended up at the Hellboy production and Marshall fell for her and wanted her cast as Alice (the female Arthurian relative) but some producers wanted a bigger name, so she didn't get cast for Hellboy. Marshall then ran off with her or something.

While you are talking about The Mummy and this movie, I've heard that Mila has even less to do than Sofia. Is it true?

i don't remember the mummy very well but I'd say so
She's in the prologue and dies
Then she's in pieces
Then she gets put back together
Then she touches a tree
Then she talks to Hellboy
Then she dies again

I'm still going to see it but after hearing the stories about how Marshall didn't even direct most of it, my prior optimism is completely gone. The tickets come incredibly cheap anyway and the gore will make it worth it.

Good luck I guess. I wish I could hear what you think of it but I imagine it'll be pretty similar to how I feel.

>Then she dies again
how? i don't mind spoilers

Hellboy grabs excalibur and becomes super saiyan. She says let's get married then the mutt makes his dad's ghost talk to him and he's like a cgi worm that comes out of her mouth. He says hey don't be evil. Then Hellboy cuts her to pieces and throws her into hell. It's the only fight Hellboy wins lol.

how violent is it? I keep seeing people talk about how gory it was.

>yes it is as retarded as it sounds

I mean, it's literally the story from the comics. The issue is that there isn't the years and years of build up of random supernatural creatures and warlocks telling Hellboy to truly embrace his demonic heritage and destiny as Hell's greatest general and destroy the Earth. Hellboy tells every single demon and creature to fuck right off with that because he's going to just be himself and has no interest in any of that. After years of this shit, the little pig man (who was from a previous story) resurrects the baddest witch around (hinted at and talked about in previous stories) out of spite and desperation because the Fair Folk are getting pushed out of the world by mankind's rapidly encroaching modernity. Hellboy does end up leading an army, as all the dumb prophecies foretold, but it isn't the legions of Hell; it's the noble dead with all the King Arthur stuff as he's a distant relative through Mordred or Morgan Le Faye or whatever, I can't remember.

Also, Daimio is sick as fuck in the comics and I was actually really excited to see him on screen. I know there's no way to do him justice because the reveal that his unexplained revival from the dead after a mission gone awry in South America was due to him being possessed by some ancient Jaguar monster spirit had a lot of build up and was tied into another story with a Wendigo.

Basically, this movie was always doomed to fail because you can't provide the proper context for Hellboy's story climaxes in one movie since they're always the culmination of a lot of crazy paranormal and occult adventure threads intersecting after many, many comics.

I was optimistic for the movie after the Harbour cast announcement, but after they revealed what the story was going to cover, I knew it was going to be a poorly scripted mess.

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lot of crappy blood everywhere but oddly enough only when limbs are cut off, if i remember right there are almost no blood stains

Pretty minor. The blood that is there is all pretty bad cgi. There's like 10 peoplen who get cut in half and it's about on the level of loke Resident Evil 4 kek.
Yeah in this one there's no buildup at all. No army of arthur either. Hellboy alone kills one witch and becomes king of england. Also the characters are just flat awful. Nothing like Abe who is to put it bluntly a character. Cheetahman just complains about hating Hellboy and turns into a hideous cartoon jaguar twice. The demons in the movie are brought out on accident then he just outs them back. Cheetaman jobs to the pig. Hellboy jobs to the pig. The ghost girl does nothing at all.
This is pretty much right.

>Finally get Daimio in a HB movie
>its shit
>his wereJaguar form looks like ass vs the comics, its a literal Jaguar
Wtf bros

he looks like a jaguar. he's not like a furry humanoid. the cgi is really, really bad though.

It's pretty shitty that they tried to run with the flat out zany paranormal shit Hellboy that I love, but they did it in the worst way possible.

I would have loved a Netflix series or something; a whole season of episodes to introduce these characters and build them up with monster-of-the-week paranormal cases.

Daimio's most influential character relationship is Roger the Homunuculus. I doubt that character's in the movie. I don't think Daimio ever even meets Alice.

Went to see dumbo in an empty auditorium over this shit tonight.
No ragrets

Mila's hot or not?

The thing that pisses me off about this movie is all these literally who characters when they could just make a BPRD movie. At least Del Toro got that right. I'm really confused why they even threw in Daimio since he joins in pretty late into BPRD and his backstory is dependent on other characters that also aren't even in, when they could have had Johann or Liz or literally anyone else.

He wasn't a literal Jaguar. He was some crazy looking werejaguar monster that was supposed to be like bloodlust incarnate since he was possessed by some primeval South American Jaguar god.

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I can't pretend to be a Hellboy expert but I think the first Hellboy is kinda neat. Not perfect but fun. This movie takes aspects that might work in a long form story but crushes them into what seems like an embarassing fanfiction. I felt embarassed seeing fairy-pigmen run around and the king arthur shit. I actually moved in my chair so the obese stinky man wouldn't see me and think I liked this kinda shit.
And no Roger isn't in. It's ghosty and cheetahman. Also there's some agent eho becomes a vampire at the start then hellboy kills him. Ruiz I thibk.
Always.
That shit is way cooler than the cartoon cheetah

I was referring to how in the movie he IS a literal Jaguar

>Always.
Elaborate

Mila is always hot in real life. She's hot here too butnshe ain't in it that much.

So how much?

oh nonono-

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...

Screening begins in about 10 hours. Might make a thread after, adding I'm the guy from the buff Harbour thread.

Aw crap. What's her power? There's a scene in trailer where she is walking across the street and doing something to a person in car. Like sucking life or something.

It may as well not be in mine

>its his real body
then he needs to see a fucking doctor because its gross looking

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First Hellboy movie is fine. It compacts the more out-there occult stuff by a lot though. Golden Army was more of a venture into the really wacky stuff, but this movie was supposed to be a head first dive into the actual Hellboy mythos with all of its sincere weirdness and fantasy elements.

The first Hellboy really toned down Rasputin and the other Nazi cronies to be pretty normal bad guys, all things considered. They stick to one monster (it's basically the frogs from the first Hellboy comics, but repurposed) until they introduce a really big monster at the end that just gets blown up instead of going with the more Lovecraftian cosmic horror the Ogdru Jahad is supposed to be. It works fine as a compact story where a bad guy raises a monster, wants to end the world, Hellboy stops him.

It also did something really well where it had the everyman with the fresh recruit that was supposed to be Hellboy's handler. The audience gets eased into the world along with this new guy and there's someone to relate to in the midst of all the madness.

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I wanna believe those people in the back aren't even extras and they couldn't afford to close the street

I'll see if I can catch back up with you then pal.
That's not even in the movie.
>can't die
>can force choke people but only uses it once
>can throw poison thorns from her crown but only does it once
>cuts a guy's throat with her finger
>some kinda telepathy
she's only in like 15 min at most. it's not worth your time.

No way that is his body.

i know, that original poster i was replying to is a moron. harbour is a pasty fatass and the new hellboy muscle suit looks like a bunch of tumors. so fuck pretty much everything about this movie desu

Based Winona

Is that the chick from American honey that Shia lebeuf fucked on set without asking beforehand LMAOOOO

I haven't seen Hellboy 2 but i like del toro so i miggt watch it sometime. I feel like del toro could pull off the silly shit that's in this new movie because he's good at treating it with care and good at surrealism.

I just found out Lobster Johnson was in this movie in some capacity. How the fuck did they fit him in or explain anything about him with all the other shit that's going on?

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What?

He appears when the Nazis summon Hellboy. He pops in for 2 seconds and is unexplained and kills Rasputin and says MY CLAW WILL SEND YOU TO HELL. until i googled it i had no fucking cluebwhat it was and was supremely confused. he appears for 2 minutes at most and is never explained or mentioned again.

The movie sounds like a fucking fever dream. It's like they threw in all the Hellboy shit they could think of into a 2 hour movie without really caring if it turned into a cohesive or satisfying story. I guess they think Hellboy fans will show up in droves and just clap when they see something they recognize.

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It's a fucking mess dude. It barely feels like a movie. It feels like scenes shot exclusively for trailers very loosely tied together and then Hellboy is the king of england the end.
Abe's hand also appears at the end of the movie for no reason at all.

It has much more characterbuilding than the first, and some pretty neat scenes. The Troll Market is also one of the visually coolest scenes in all of del Toro-dom. The plot is a bit boring though, personally, I prefer Rasputin + Nazis to angsty elves with a chip on their shoulder.

The movie fucking sucked. Marvel or DC level shit but with ugly blood. The biggest let down is Blood Queen. She's in for like 10 minutes at all. That's pretty crap for an antagonist.

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I'll check it out. Thanks pal.

i need sleeo hopefully i convinced some of you fine lads to not see this horrible movie. sleeo good qts.

he is a lil donnie level retard

he looks retarded and his head is too small

>Winona's face in the thumbnail

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Just saw it. What a piece of shit

She die why care??

Would it please you to know the film only manged to sell 92 tickets for the entire Friday at my theater?

Anyone who's seen the movie, does pic related appear in the flashback scene with Daimio (the asian guy?
I'm guessing no, but I'm just curious

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I believe it. My friends wanted to go to the midnight showing. Including us, there were six people in the theater. Two of them left during the "climax."

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I counted today because I wanted to make a prediction. Did Hellboy have a full showing on Thursday in the US? If not It's looking at a 10mil opening

Yeah, there were several showings, not just midnight. This thing is gonna tank hard, and the RT score isn't gonna do it any favors.

Still, pretty poor acting performance

Ah OK. Still this is going to just keep tanking so I don't think they will get that 20mil they projected

Thank you comic-user, this is precisely the problem.

This. A proper BRPD movie would be amazing. HB can cameo.

But we can't have nice things.

No one gives a fuck about hellboy. They already milked it for 2 decent films with pearlman.

People only want comic book movies.

HB 2 is very good. The trio really gets to shine, and the villain is not entirely wrong, which leads to that good old BRPD-feeling of 'are we the assholes?'

AMC A-List is $20 a month and you can watch 3 movies a week
That's a buck seventy per movie if you use em all

Was there ever a title crawl? I don't remember seeing HELLBOY at any time in the movie

This is a comic book movie. And it's going to flop harder than Fan4stic

He's a demon that actively renounced his satanic roots and fights for the well-being of humanity and goodness though...

>AAAAAAAAYYYOOOOOOOO LIL DONNIE

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YO LIL DONNIE. HEARD YOU LIKE GETTING TANS SO I TURNED MYSELF ORANGE. BET YOU DIDNT SEE THAT ONE COMING, HUH

It is a muscle suit.

No because he should spent it on acting lessons

>It is a muscle suit.
100% natty bay bay. Dude went all out for this role, can't fault him for trying his best

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Hellboy?
More like Hellboomer ahhahahjahahahahahaa

muscle suit, the actor said it himself on a morning show interview.

just like on the first two movies. the guy who plays the comedian on WATCHMEN also uses one.

its very sad to discover and at the same time makes you think why a guy like christian bale would fuck up his health gaining and loosing weight like crazy.

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This

lolno. they've been making convincing foam latex since the 70s

Dude you can see the seamline

>fights for a jewish world order
>not satanic

>required to go to three movies a week
Orwellian kinoplex-tier

Based retard

Dubsman fell for the method acting meme.

i did, i had discounted tickets for it

too much pop music, bad pacing, but really nice gore, would recommend only for that if anything

Fuck, no.

That's what I'm going to see it for.

>most of the director's other movies are subpar shit
He should've known better.

>pop music

oh god, what music? fuck gotg and the le epic music meme it spawned

it's all just pop-ish stock music I think. this movie looks cheap as fuck so they weren't shelling out for anything good.

>plans to give equal rights to the pigpeople and witches by giving Hellboy who is the last descendant of King Arthur, Excalibur so she can marry him and become queen of Hell

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it's even dumber than it sounds

worst movie of 2019 by far

His face looks less real than pearlman's