Why is Sabrina so cringe?

>"There will be Heaven to pay"
>"Yes, your unholiness"

Someone actually wrote this shit

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Millennials

Because it's feminist garbage written by retards who can't decide whether or not their characters are edgelord satanists or good people. Stop watching this 0/10 cancer.

This show is made for 13 year old girls

The only enjoyable parts are Shipka and Lynch cause they're hot and the whole Satanic imagery and mythos. The rest is trash.

This. You need to chill and get laid.

Sex Have

hex save

Why does this show trigger incels so much? We've had multiple versions of this same thread for the past couple of days. Also, she cute.

nice

Because it's produced by Greg Berlanti, the worst producer working today. Read the original comics instead

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Do I need to watch the christmas special to understand season 2?

> Why does this show trigger incels so much?
> Lead is female.
Hmm ... let me take a wild guess.

>Show sucks
>"I-I-INCEL!!!"

This show really is for 13-year-old girls.

The feminist and Satanist ideas in this show are actually have great potential, but they're wasted on how the show ends up. This could be a really good satire of traditionalist conservative Christianity, and it almost is.

The show is just diminished by piss poor writing and storytelling. The inverted references to Heaven and Hell are classic witchcraft lore, but they become a tired ass fucking gimmick the billionth time someone says "Oh my Satan!" or "Bless you to Heaven!"

That doesn't make sense. "Incels" would be worshipping this show like beta-orbiters.

And yet you still watched it.

This, I would love to watch some real Satanist kinos

Watch The VVitch. It's like Sabrina but it doesn't hold back.

Yeah, the same totally happens to literally every show with a female lead, and not just the ones with shit SJW writing.
Triggered legbeard.

But I didn't, cuck. I'm here to laugh at the people who do.

I did, it was great

this shit was supposed to be a sitcom with sexy dyke aunts and a funny talking cat. wtf the fuck is the retarded edgy shit?

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>when sabrina and her friends stare at the camera and say "death to all men"
if you pay close attention to some details it's a subtle critique on the patriarchy

No matter how many hormones you take, you will never be a woman.

probably jews if I had to guess

yeah I was really confused by what they were going for

like half the time it seems like we're supposed to view the witches as generally decent people who just happen to have a really isolationist and conservative culture... we're supposed to root against the traditional xenophobic misogynistic high priest, and support the modern liberal reforms that Sabrina's father wanted

except the other half of the time, it's made painfully clear that ALL of the witches worship Satan, and Satan is every bit as evil as the Christians say... so the whole conservative vs. liberal witch conflict should be completely irrelevant, because both sides are worshiping a literal god of evil

the scene that really got me was when Hilda was talking to the high council and she said something like "you can lie all you want, but I know the truth, and the Dark Lord knows the truth." and I get it's supposed to be a variant of the trope where the good-hearted but unconventional Christian calls out the corrupt religious authorities for being hypocrites... except in this case they worship a god of evil! like, does Hilda really think the FATHER OF LIES would get upset with these priests for lying? he's all about encouraging people to do evil, he's not going to have a problem with them using their positions for personal gain! it would maybe kinda sorta make sense if this was a universe where God was evil and Satan was a heroic rebel, but they repeatedly establish that Satan is a petty, vindictive, pointlessly sadistic tyrant. so why should the fact that his servants are hypocrites be surprising, or even considered a bad thing from his point of view?

>This could be a really good satire of traditionalist conservative Christianity, and it almost is.
IDK, shitting on conservative christians is as played out as it possibly could be at this point.

I am basically what people would consider far right politically. And I absolutely love this show, you aren't supposed to agree with their politics, because they are satanists, and their morality is put on display as false. I mean she even that degenerate trannie is literally called an abomination by a greater demon to her face.

This show pretends to be liberal but it's kinda hard to see that when everyone worships the devil.

>Actually, it's Theo now
yeah, great stuff

I mean, using literal Satanists as a metaphor for conservative Christians is a new twist

jews trying to be edgy. too forced.

>Witches are just tryhard perverts who are stuck playing opposite day every day
Makes it a fantastic unintended comedy.

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>Sabrina has pal who's a tranny
>it's also revealed that tranny had a tranny granny who's a ghost and ALSO had witch pals
>neither those witches, nor Sabrina, have helped their tranny pals by just doing a magic at them and helping them grow a dong

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The sad thing is there are parts of the show I really like. However there is definetly far too much cringe. I don't care that they are inserting gender politics into it. Stories about witches are bound to have that sort of thing. What is so frustrating is how badly they are doing it. There is absolutely no subtlety in their message. Basically every guy at the high school (apart from Harvey) is just a total cartoon villain. It feels way too preachy but in a really surface level way. It's like an elementary school kid doing a presentation about why sexism is bad.

>every guy at the high school (apart from Harvey) is just a total cartoon villain
Hey what did Theo do wrong?

>This could be a really good satire of traditionalist conservative Christianity

So this is what the incels that watch this show were looking for? Fedoratheist propaganda?

I enjoyed this show quite a bit. Some moments were strange but I'll overlook them

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What the fuck do you expect, its Netflix

>kiki thread
>no feet
this board is complete shit

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Honestly the idea that a group of evil witches have internal conflict over social politics is pretty interesting and funny

The problem of this feminist washed satanism is that they're only doing it out of spite for christianity and a complete infantile vision of pagan nature cults (that had women being the center of fertility) and the witch burnings, so they want to piss off christians with a christian vision of Satan, in which he is actually evil, but you can't justify your heroes being actually evil because you are human and you root for good.
So they want to be evil and love Satan, but at the same time they can't.

It's not like Paradise Lost, where Satan is cast in sympathetic light.

I went back and had to watch it.
It's not that christmassy, which helps if you're watching it outside of the Christmas season.

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Sabrina is for Wiccan 13 year old girls, or women with the emotional maturity of Wiccan 13 year old girls.

She is offered the chance to change into a boy by Sabrina, she decides to not do that because and I quote "That's not who I am"

This show is redpilled as hell

or men who like to stalk 13 year old girls

janny would 404 it, he's out to get kiki threads

Fair enough.

Addendum: And men with the emotional maturity of Wiccan 13 year old girls.

Why do we need six threads a day about this shit?

That's not fair at all.

13 year old girls are way more intelligent than the tranny trash we have spamming this board up.

I feel like a real tranny would take it, and that this plotline is proof that like most FtMs she's fucking around for a year before she gets bored and switches back.

>they're only doing it out of spite for christianity
This. The only reason they're doing it this way is because the writing room is filled with a bunch of liberals who desperately want to give a middle finger to anyone religious (except Muslims, they love them).
I'm not even religious myself, but their shit just comes off as petty.

then why not just go all the way and portray Satan as a good guy, or at least a more neutral/sympathetic character in contrast to a tyrannical God? it wouldn't even be *that* controversial, anime and video games do it all the time

or if the focus is supposed to be on pagan nature cults, why not get rid of Satan altogether and just have the witches be Wiccan-style nature worshipers?

instead they went with "Satan is every bit as horrible and evil as Christians say, but his worshipers are still good people, except for the ones who are sexist and xenophobic and dogmatic in the exact same way as Evangelical Christians," which is the absolute weirdest possible route they could've taken

>he

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well they also had a prophetic vision where they took a gender-change potion to become male and ended up turning into a tree, so that probably played a role in their unwillingness to transition using magic

the cartoon is better

Because then it wouldn't be a christian Satan, making their point null. If it's not THE biblical Satan that is going to fuck Yahweh and the ass then there's no point in showing allegiance to it.
They want their cake and eating it too, but they can't.

Because it's fucking hilarious and absurd. It's the entire point. The show is aware of what it is.

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then at the absolute very least, they should've had the good witches be fooled into thinking Satan was benevolent, so it would've come as a surprise when he turned out to be pure evil after all. instead all of the witches are completely aware that Satan is a cruel and sadistic entity, but somehow good people still worship him and pray to him and invoke him in moral debates?

the cartoon was better

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very sexy i am turned on did she change her panties each time?

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>it's purposely shit, so it's good

>She will never hex you into being one of her shoes

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It's ironic.

They're not being intentionally shit. They're being intentionally absurd. The entire concept is a gritty reboot of a 90's sitcom. The idea is farcical and yet they lean into it in dramatic ways. They make some witches seem reasonable/progressive and then slam you with the reminder that they're *all* members of a satanic cult. At the same time they're making dramatic reminders that they're all evil (with murders and curses) they also remind you that it's a silly story about a teenaged girl fighting with the devil and going to school. It's fully aware of both how overly dramatic it is and how silly it is at the same time. To great effect in my opinion but I can see where people wouldn't like it.

There's also decent religious and occult information running through it. I watch it with my fiancee and she wasn't raised religious at all but I was (12 years of Catholic school) so seeing that stuff play out as well (in an obviously fictionalized way) is cool for me.

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this, I understand when they talk about Satan and it being about true freedom and they fight against the false god, but then they purposely call him the "great Deceiver" , the dark one, father of lies

It’s even worse than that. The characters are written like complete morons. When the witch hunters kidnap the witches and Sabrina and Harvey decide to go into the church to rescue Sabrina walks right in and hit with several arrows. She’s only saved by complete deus ex machina. She had no idea that would happen and no control of the situation. So what exactly was her plan? To just waltz into the church and get her ass kicked. She had no plan and this is the main character.

It was really funny in the first season when Sabrina fought against the cannibalism ritual because she didn't believe it was real, like bitch your aunt comes back from the afterlife, you use literal magic and know satan is real,yet she talks the other witch from believing there is even an afterlife

i think its time you found a real gf

is he right about kiki?

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i'm trying!!

I feel like the angels were wasted, could've done a lot with that plot but they showed up and gone within an episode

Unless more happens, that's only as far as I've gotten

youtu.be/SVRKsBr067g
>you'll never go to the kinoplex with your Kiki gf
he's looks like a fine fella tho

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brujeria jajjaa

>she decides to not do that because and I quote "That's not who I am"

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holy shit, why didn't you warn me before?
i let my little cousin watch that degenerate bullshit

You don't mind them watching a show about satanic, murderous witches but you do mind if they make out a little?

the Dark Lord wouldn't approve of Sabrina having sex with Harvey

>The literal Devil is mad at sabrina for not signing the book
>Oh shit Sabrina, the devil is suing in court for breach of contract!!!
What the actual FUCK is this show? Lmao you're telling me that the fucking DEVIL takes his own worshippers to court and on top of that HAS FUCKING LOST?

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based JR

>not watching it just to fantasize about Kiernan Shipka treating you like a slave and teasing your dick

Lmao plebs

>actually watching television&film

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The show can't seem to decide if it's an edgy horror show or a horror-comedy show.

It's American Horror Story all over again.

in fairness, this is far from the first show where demons are bound by Exact Words. and someone going to trial to fight the devil's claim on their soul is a common enough trope that The Simpsons did a parody of it back in the 90s.

This isn't just a some regular old demon. This is fucking Satan, the actual devil. Taking one of his worshippers to court, a witch court of fucking devil worshippers. And He's fucking lost before

Well, maybe he got bored of winning by default all of the time?
If there's no chance of failure, there's no fun in it.

this

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I think it's because these ""writers"" think edgelord satanists are good people.

wow go on

the devil is simply the christianised version of Saturn and Saturn rules over laws and contracts. when you make a contract with someone you are BINDING them which is a saturnic aspect. this is also why most legal officials wear black which is the color of Saturn.

Someone wanna post the webm of her sexy tight ass

The shows ideology constricts itself
>wants to make the main character satanic to be edgy
>wants to portray religion as oppressive
As a result you have devil worshipers who act like christian fundamentalist. It's satanism through the lens of a moron who thinks lady gaga is deep.It's horror for people who aren't into horror made by people who've only seen entry level horror. Same thing with AHS. They should have gone with either a good/neutral Satan(or Lilith if they're going for a feminist angle)or a Lovecraftian route where there is no god and only satan and other demon lords.Or a paganism vs Christianity angle.

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what webm

this ?

An incel wrote this.

Lol get the fuck outta here. Far right my ass.

no, the show makes it really clear that Satan and the Satanic Church as a whole are horrible monsters. it just portrays some of the individual Satanists as halfway decent people, but even the 'nice" ones are disturbingly accepting of things like cannibalism and ritual sacrifice.

also while the writers clearly don't like Christianity, they portray the Satanic Church as basically having all the same flaws as traditionalist Christianity (disdain for outsiders, institutional misogyny, hypocrite priests abusing their power for personal gain) but taken to a ridiculous extreme. so the message isn't "Christianity bad, Satanism good," it's "Christianity bad, Satanism worse." I guess it's just meant to be anti-religion in general.

No offense but I think that's complete shit. The black robes of judges are an english tradition. The Devil, Satan and Lucifer aren't always even describing the same entity but nah Saturn was harvest god

The real question is:
Why the fuck did they chose such an ugly woman for the lead role, even if she was as canonically witches are in folklore they magically make themselves look beatiful.

I may be giving the show too much credit but that does sound like a satire on religious hypocrisy. The way a lot of people act like their religious makes them more moral when their literal holy scriptures call for intolerance against people outside of the religion and sexual minorities and woman and so on

because the writers aren’t actually writers but people who through nepotism or connections stumbled into the job. not so much that it’s feminist garbage, but the writers are so shitty and incapable that that’s the only thing they’re able to make.

P R O J E C T I N G

>This show pretends to be liberal but it's kinda hard to see that when everyone worships the devil.
>kinda hard to see
not at all

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wondering you all have netflix? i just watch all their shit free in other sites

>they portray the Satanic Church as basically having all the same flaws as traditionalist Christianity (disdain for outsiders, institutional misogyny, hypocrite priests abusing their power for personal gain)

OK so basically it is just an SJW trash-fest.

its not the root cause.
the root cause is the lack of self awareness and inflated egos. (obv paired with social retardation due to excessive use of social media and jewflix binge watching)

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if you're a conservative Christian who thinks everything critical of religion is SJW trash, sure

it's heavily reliant on the "all religions are bad" and "God and Satan are both evil" tropes, but so is Preacher and just about every single anime/manga/J-RPG that uses Christian imagery, so I don't see what the big deal is. you'd have to be a complete moron to think it's actually pro-Satanism like some people are claiming.

snopes.com/fact-check/john-podesta-spirit-cooking/

inb4 "snopes is run by (((them)))!"

Reads like something from a kids show. But that's exactly what Sabrina is, innit?

>linking fucking snopes

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alright, I like this position. But do the effect of what exactly? Evil Dead 2 is something that takes a pretty absurd take and it turns out funny while still maintaining solid character and drama when it needs to.
I feel like in this case because of it's mostly episodic or arc based format it really undermines itself to do any of those things. Which similar to the magicians currently (some shit gets so episodic I lose immersion and feel like the absurdism leaves everything ungrounded. If you turn your brain off it works well.) this is as much ground as I am really willingly to concede. Absurdism isn't an end to itself without being in service to something it's vacuous. Which I felt was the case more often than not.

had it been a pure comedy I would of preferred the silly absurdist take, or if it was more self referntial or lighter in tone. Instead I can take no one, and nothing, and no conflict seriously

she got blacked

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>snopes
Hahahah youve fucking me what lol

when did we stop spelling teenage as teen-age?

>something intentionally tongue-in-cheek
>Yea Forums spergs over it

Does this board ever have anything else going on?

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>if you're a conservative Christian who thinks everything critical of religion is SJW trash, sure

If your criticism is, word for word, "institutional misogyny" and other university buzzwords, then yes.

isn't his more like the actual comic than the old version that basically just stole the names and the fact she's a witch and did nothing else?

>linking to snopes

Snopes being shit never required the involvement of Jews.

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i think he means the naked ass but it was a butt double same butt double as season 1. she's still underage

she didn't. They just entered his mind and his incel black ass believed it as he was making out with a boy like a fag

>Edgy Riverdale
>Edgy Sabrina
What's next?

that cat is me

edgy peanuts

the show is a confused mess, but a lot of these critiques are even more self-contradictory. "it's for try-hard edgelords and also total SJW bait and it promotes Satanism by harshly criticizing the whole concept of Satanism!"

Edgy Post-Riverdale Josie And The Pussycats

>tfw no sabrina gf

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>tfw no evil satan mommy
Why even live?

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The Thracian Gods of Mount Olympus were mostly a bunch of dipshits with one or two exceptions, but two entire civilizations worshipped them for thousands of years

Does she give evil tuggies?

The sitcom sabrina was kino to the board though and still is.

Imagine being a male editor. You cannot do your job in the current year.

The difference is that Riverdale is actually good. Sabrina lost the plot 2-3 episodes in.

You're on Yea Forums, on Yea Forums. Don't expect consistency or rigor of thought, just bitter and scared people who take out their confusion with pot shots at whatever cultural targets are available.

>Sabrina lost the plot 2-3 episodes in.
Come home to superior Sabrina.

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Why?

>episode with Angels
>somehow they're considered the bad guys
>Sabrina turns into epic evil demon that's somehow stronger than fucking angels
>"haha better convert to Satan now you silly angels!"
>they pussy out and convert
Excuse me? Why the fuck would angels convert?

No doubt about it

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>Why the fuck would angels convert?
Checked.

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Is that Sabrina? Fuck she's cute. I have this idea for a tv series and she'd be perfect casting for a character I have in mind.

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>just bitter and scared people who take out their confusion with pot shots at whatever cultural targets are available

Tell me again about how I am "intimidated" by strong female characters, JJ.

does it involve nudity?

No but it's got a ton of girl on girl kissing.

wow go on

>it's for try-hard edgelords and also total SJW bait

There's nothing self-contradictory there.
SJW's typically think of themselves as "edgelords" (i.e. the "warrior" part of "Social Justice Warrior"), just as the GOOD kind of edgelords who only piss off the RIGHT people. If people offend THEM then it's not due to edge, it's due to being evil racists.

SJW's being hypocrites does not make criticism of the show self-contradictory.

>tfw she will never step on you

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so what's the message here? what is it that you think the show endorses? atheism? Satanism? some kind of vague naturalistic spiritualism?

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>thatsthejoke.png

What does her lips taste like?

my wife couldn't get over the fact that his unholiness lives in the sewers in rome, under the pope.

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I mean, it is a show about an upside down society with Satan as their Lord, what do you expect? It's basically supposed to be a satanic version of Christian soccer-moms.
What I don't get is their "Moral" system, because like I said it is supposed to be the upside down version of Christian values, Where Polygamy, pansexuality and mischief is encouraged, They talk about Zelda doing a play when she was younger that was outright Scandalous (so I assume sexual as fuck, probably full on nude) and it is seen as a good thing, yet when Zelda sleeps with the widowed Blackwood, she's called a "Wanton Hussy" and the show has a bunch of little contradictions like that, Where they suddenly switch to "normal highschool morals".

Also: Dumbest event in the show? For me Season 1: Feast of Feasts. I don't mind a bit of cannibalism, but they established that witches live hundreds of years, but are rather rare (in comparison to the humans). Yet an annual event where one of them gets slaughtered and eaten? What would it take? 70 years until the last witch has to eat herself? It would have made way more sense if it was a "once every 50 or 100 years" event, not only for the population, but also in how much of an honor it is to be chosen.
But that's nitpicky I guess.

>tfw too much of a brainlet to begin a meme about Sabrina legalposting in the vein of LOTR taxposting

Satan is a trickster and a deceiver yes, but openly so out of greed, giving the witches the freedom of truth, as they see the false god (the christian god) as an oppressive manipulator, You HAVE to do what the supposed all loving all mighty says, or he shall cast you out. They see it as being shackled.
Meanwhile Satan, is upfront. "I will trick you, I will play with you and in the end I will take your soul, but write your name in the book and you shall enjoy freedom until I call on you and your day has come". You are free to try and trick him back. They see this as a fair contract, or rather, better than the false god, who claims to be all powerful, but can't or wont stop evil to protect his flock.
Also: It's all a bit tongue in cheek? Like, this is a fantasy story. You're not supposed to think too much about how exactly it works.
Just like how in Firefly space ships constantly meet one another in space (and sometimes have to SNEAK past each other), when in reality they would be traveling so fucking fast that the moment you realize there even is another ship, it would be THOUSANDS of miles behind you already, never to be seen again.

Biggest issue for me: I can not take Father Blackwood serious as High Priest. it is supposed to be a very high position that radiates a certain aura of Importance and seriousness.
Something like Dumbledore, who puts people in awe with mere presence. But to me he looks too much like.. well not an idiot but some slightly incompetent mediocre schemer? He doesn't radiate authority to me, rather he looks like he would be the straight and narrow uptight guy that ends up covered in slime in an 80s kids comedy.

I think it is because the show more or less constantly shits on him. I don't know.

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Charles Mason/Jim Jones satanic high priest would of been fun.

Dress him up in all the fancy clothes you want but have him be a full on sex pest psycho instead of a foppish gentleman villain.

Like a bag of sand

youve got to be kidding JR

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I don't mind the pompousness, but basically everyone plays against him, and he ends up being a bit of a loser. Sabrina basically spits in his face with everything she does (as she constantly goes against him) and he just fucking takes it. So he ends up being super non-imposing.

The original comic was like Archie. This is nothing like the comics unless you mean some recent variant that went off into its own thing to be edgy for clickbait style sales and probably sold less than 50k issues.

Not the other guy, but the show sounds like it's endorsing SJW ideology. It'll probably endorse whatever is convenient for pushing the message of attempted try hard far leftism.

If you want an example of cheesy fantasy that pushes the same general messages, but well, then you could check out True Blood. But that was a show that tried to be a lot more consistent even though it went batshit insane after a while plus had tons of meaningless sex. There the messages were more a side thing to whatever plot was being pushed forward, here it seems to be the central focus.

ITS A KIDS SHOW JESUS FUCK ITS A MEANT TO BE GOOFY you people literally get annoyed about everything

Why is everyone hating on my girl Sabrina just because a bitch wants to live deliciously?

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>It's Satanism for kids, what's the problem? :)

Pretty much. There's some legitimate inconsistencies and weirdnesses that don't add up that you could complain about (also do people sometimes look weirdly yellow to you guys?) But complaining about satanic opposites to common christian things in a show about an upside down satanic witch-world? What the actual fuck. That's the whole fucking point and if you can't get over that, then it's just not the show for you.

I mean if you watch shit like game of thrones and they say "Thank the seven" or "the gods bless" do you also go 'ugh, cringe'?
It's how their in-universe belief goes.

its amazing how many people are enraged and confused by a silly teen drama

its based on christian imagery, the christians took pagan imagery and turned it into their own satanic lore, but it doesnt actually have anything to do with pagans besides being evil to christians

the redhead is so cute, she reminds me of Holland Roden, who I like a lot

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demons are fallen angels

>hears that the school's basketball team is holding tryouts
>insists on being allowed to participate, despite never having played a single day in her life
>is utter shit
>Sabrina comes along and makes her git gud with a spell
>joins the team, is still utter shit at basketball
What the fuck was that? What the fuck is this character?

Hamburger... Hinderer

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i loved the show until they made her super powerful for no reason.

Also the gay shit is annoying asf

not really. The women could not do shit without the help of magic. Actually it shows how women are completely useless.

Unless they are getting gangbanged by BBC of course

liberalism=satanism

and the most powerful one is pushing feminism. Pretty based

I keep waiting for them to drop that the thing they're worshiping isn't actually satan. As nothing its doing or demanding is consistent with any depiction of satan.

Its also frustrating how no one ever does the god of love becoming the god of evil thing.

Americans are conservative christians or just christians in denial, there are no real atheists in America, even those who declares themselves materialists and support any kind of degeneracy, they just thinks that maybe God exists and will not punish them or judge them because they don't hurt anyone, this is why all of their novels, movies or comics always follows or ends with a moral lesson based on christian principles, if it lacks they feel outraged in some way

The only working theory is the show was written to spawn as much erotic fanfiction (and blueballs) as possible.

Like the little tranny getting gangbanged in the locker room and the injured basketball dude actually being gay and attracted to the tranny.

Every moral lesson in the bible is plagiarized from aesop.

>why isn't sabrina pitching a bitch about being stuffed into a female role during the little red riding hood festival
>oh, its because the women chase down the men

So she only bitches when she is expected to do something feminine.

I couldnt even get past the first episode

Sounds like you're projecting. No one is enraged.

Confused maybe. But even today it's sometimes hard to believe just how badly leftism fucks up a person's mind.

Their in universe belief is retarded and inconsistent with their in universe belief. It's called bad writing, sweetie.

You should probably have sex.

>kiki thread

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i didn't give it a try based on those threads... too bad i hear the new comic does the thing where they trun things around and take a lame old comic into something with a bit of vitality, graphically and narratively... was the show greenlit based on the assumption it would be hip like the nu comic?

>unironic satanist shows are actually shown to people

what the fuck is wrong with this world, since when is devil worship and satanism cool ?

>This could be a really good satire of traditionalist conservative Christianity, and it almost is.

Wow this sounds great! I've never seen this before!

kill yourself, homeschooled christfag

lmao, I've seen that plot line in person. shit is funny as hell.

I don't think the show is successfully presenting it as cool.

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>muh freedom satan

Holy shit how early did your parents make you go to bed that you fart out this?

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Her nose is a little too small, no?

i bet he is a paranoid schizophrenic who like to larp as if there are pedo satanic cults in position of power in society like in the gov and shit... retro cuck want to bring back satanic panic of the 80s, lol

but for real imagine her crushing your balls with high heels calling you a stupid loser, that would be something weird lmao

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would you get orgasms though it's useless without that

>ywn save Kiki from Satan and bring her to the light of Christ

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I'm so glad I cancelled my Netflix subscription. Why are they pumping out anti-Christian propaganda like this now? Is it the Soros money?

I hate when they have 40 year olds playing teenagers.

this, legit pissed me off so much, fucking degenerate nigger loving homosexual satanist tranny witches.

yes... ???

there are no spirits.

Blackwood is unironically the best part of the show. They could have made him a little more threatening though.

have sex

Then give me wine or beer you faggot.

>Someone actually watches this shit for the writing

>le weak christian angels cuck out and worship satan but still killed cuz fuck them

so people aren't allowed to criticise shows or movies anymore because it has a female lead? Are you retarded?

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Season 1 was ok.

Season 2 is completely unwatchable. Ruined by political femnazi bullshit.

>waifufag pretending to not be an incel

>snopes

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Salem doesn't talk 0/10

i don't think you really know what that phrase means

based and redpilled

based lewdposter

Why would anyone let their kids watch this? It's no wonder so many women are garbage people.

I think what he meant was that she kissed the guy in real life to film that scene, which makes her "unpour" now.

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Where have you been?

It's 2019.

The Sabrina I know would never be so sexually aggressive or try to have sex with Harvey before marriage.

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>give your soul to the devil and pledge him alliagnce
>be surpised that he is evil and want to stop him

wow

>Someone actually wrote this shit
I miss the real non-demonic Sabrina. It was nice having a Sabrina who still owned her soul. New Sabrina sold her soul which technically makes her the ugliest thing that's ever lived no matter how much of a qt she may look like on the outside.

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>HAS FUCKING LOST
Jew lawyers, man.

When he wrote a fanfic, made his students act it out and cried, that was it for me.

replace Kiernan with the Weird Sisters (especially the redhead) and we got a deal

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Well at least they explained why Sabrina does stuff no one ever has done before and excels at it without problems, because she is of witch(father), infernal(devil) and human(mother) blood as a perversion of the holy trinity

>It's gay to fuck a >5 foot plain jane who happened to shave her head and put on some trousers

go on...

Whatshername aged horribly, what the hell.

It’s openly satanic Netflix garbage

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Yeah, it's fucking awful

I'm having dark christmas at my house!
Don't forget the BLACK ham and DARK potatoes. Horrible.

Lwed

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Nah, it's not even satanic, it's just dumb.

what exactly do you think demons are?

Hey, you guys gonna fuck a tree for anti-arbor day?

there are plenty of angry people in this thread, but it is probably more confusion, which is almost worse because its not very complicated

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YES!

Don't paint the eggs for "Not" Easter or mom will be mad and feed us to ray wise.
Bless you to Heaven!

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Wow. A Hocus Pocus reference.

The weird sisters are so fucking hot and Sabrina is so fucking not.

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I would literally suck him dry

>why is Sabrina cringe
because the target audience is young girls. quit watching shows made for girls you faggot

Are all of nu Sabrina's friends black, brown or fugly gingers?

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>The weird sisters are so fucking hot
3/10 b8 m8.

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high quality post

I refuse to watch this garbage but how far along is the show? have they made it to the part in the comic where Sabrina's father possesses the body of a dead Harvey and fucks Sabrina?

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What shitty lighting. I can’t see shit.

>because the target audience is young girls.
So was the original, but it was at least enjoyable.

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>Nick bakay not back as Salem
That's what hurts the most

But I thought there was meritocracy in capitalism

Now, do Ass to Ass!

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to an extent, but in hollywood? lol.

I think it’s supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, user.

you're not a little boy anymore, quit watching girly shows

This isn't capitalism.

Not in jew industries like Hollywood

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>subtle

Wheres the jizz tho?

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>implying I have Netflix or have watched a single episode of the new sabrina.

The should have made a show about Salem the cat from the last sabrina tvshow. That cat was awesome.

god I miss Salem

It's mother's day, I'm gonna kick my mother in the cunt.

Have you ever actually had sex? It's terrible, they want to stick around afterwards and cuddle and the bed is too hot and also sweaty and the combined body heat is too much and the bed gets overheated and they sort of think they're you're friend now but they're not your friend. The second after you cum I'm just disgusted by them anyways but they don't want to be alone because they're needy or some other stupid made up feeling so I have to take them out for some breakfast and buy them a fucking omelet that we both know she's not going to finish and then when its over you have to get her number and promise you'll call her but we both know you're not going to call her. Why would you? You already got what you wanted out of her and the sex was mediocre at best and you wasted one of the two days a week you have free of being a wagecuck, you took your valuable free time and you fucking wasted it on some average broad when you could have paid for a hooker and had her get up and leave so I could go back to playing video games.
The only reason to have sex, and I mean LITERALLY THE ONLY REASON, is that fucking without a condom on feels pretty great. Nothing else about sex is even remotely enjoyable, not the stupid foreplay, not the cuddling, I don't even particularly enjoy getting my dick sucked anymore. I'd rather eat a burrito and watch American Dad and be left the fuck alone. No, I'm not going to marry you. No, you're not going to trick me into getting you pregnant(I've had a few women really try hard with that one), and no, you're not coming to live with me in my big empty house.
For one thing, it's my fucking house. For another thing, I like it big and empty, and lastly you're a fucking bore. Women are for the most part IMMENSELY boring. No, I'm not interested in hearing about your stupid day. No, I don't care what Sarah the intern said about your hair. No, I don't FUCKING CARE ABOUT HOW YOU'RE FEELING TODAY
NOT. FUCKING. WORTH. IT.

Goddamn, Melissa Joan Hart was the origin of most of my 90s boners. FUCK I WANT TO GO BACK

yes, that is how the LGBTHOWQRU works.

you mean ((((((((((writers))))))))))

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I can't tell if shipka can't act, or the wring is just that bad, or somehow both. and then if its both, why do I keep watching this crap

>hello, I am satan, the lord of lies
>hello satan we believe you
>if you worship me I'll give you great magics
>okay satan, lord of lies, we believe you
>cool, here's your magic
>horray! we have magic and satan, the lord of lies, did not lie to us!

WHAT EVEN THE FUCK

fucking based

Based cat.

>he thinks there is meritocracy in a system which has no inherent differences from aristocratic societies veiw on social classes
All capitalism has is a very large middle class, but things like the nobility and social classes and strata are still there. He could be a massive dumbass, but a trust fund baby isn’t ever going to suffer

It’s also anti-white SJW propaganda.

Please let this happen and have her father be played by Jon Hamm

The only stuff I remember from the old Sabrina series is Salem the cat. Is Salem the cat in here? Salem is what determines this show's worth.

it's just a regular cat and it doesn't say anything

They'll remake Buffy.

I hope they cast a sassy, fat black woman.

>anti-white
>there's literally two black characters on the entire show (four if you count background nobodies) and their race never comes up

"the show portrays Satanists in an obviously evil and villainous light, clearly it's trying to push Satanism on children!"

They are doing that.

anything with a white antagonist is anti-white

Summary of season two


>suzzie becomes "theo"
>first episode is the worst and is filled with generic SJW propaganda
>sabrina and harvey play a little game of "I love you no actually I don't no wait I do" for the first 5 episodes (i think) then sabrina really goes after nik's dick
>first half is about transgender theo's struggle, sabrina trying to win "top boy" position at occult school against nik (AND GUESS WHICH GENDER CANNOT OCCUPY TOP BOY POSITION), harvey and the black girl getting together, blackwood's bastard daughter trying to get him to give her the blackwood name, blackwood and zelda "falling in love", Hilda falling in love with the guy who's always dressed as dracula (turns out he's posessed by an incubus and is let in on the witch secret when he reveals his incubus form to hilda, he can't control it when he's aroused so he's given bracelets he has to wear at all times)
>second half is about a prophecy that sabrina is actually the herald of satan and trying to prevent that prophecy (of course the maymay twist hahah you thought you were preventing the prophecy but you were actually accomplishing it all along). THe prophecy comes to pass and the last episode is about getting rid of Satan (now in angelic form as a chad)
>Ending is, they trap satan inside Nik's body (and use a sleeping spell on him), lilith becomes queen of hell and takes nik with her, sabrina vows with her friends to get him back and I quote "let's get my boyfriend back" or something like that

>the transgender theme is so fucking forced. You literally have to hear about the name "theo" every two fucking seconds
>father black wood turns into this stereotype of the mysoginistic cunt (rewrites old play to make lilith more submissive, writes a new set of rules for the church where women only practice female witchcraft and are subservient to everyone).
>CONVENIENTLY Sabrina's father was writing a new set of rules too stating that women should be in charge.

.cont

cont


>three mortals (black, white and defect) manage to literally stop the fucking gates of hell from opening by simply drawing sigils on paper (regular paper not even the special kind) and leaving the paper on the ground. Oh and they're so brave, they stay there with their guns pointing at the gate (yeah highschoolers know how to use guns, especially that "theo" "guy" with his "manly" arms, they surely wouldn't break by "him" simply firing once)
>cool thing though is that sabrina's actually the daughter of satan. He wants to have a child with her.
>rest of the season is filled with "women are oppressed", "women should rule" and other crap like that wherever they can.


Overall a 10/10 season.

I think there's one episode with some references to it, but that is mostly a filler episode

>yeah highschoolers know how to use guns
What’s wrong with this? I’ve been using guns and cleaning them and hunting with them since I was 7. Guns are pretty simple most of the time.

Even if we ignore that, even if let's say we ignore the fact that the transgender has the arms of a dead cat, the whole scene is just retarded.

>fat 30/40something nerds unironically watch shit like this the same way they watched shit like my Little Pony, and are now here to give their "expert opinions" and claim ownership

I hope you catch a beat down every fucking time you dare to walk outside.

It was pointed out in season 1 that harvey went hunting with his dad, although being shit at he has held a gun before

>arms like a dead cat
Again shooting as a seven year old. Physical strength is really not a major factor to pull a trigger or even be accurate.
>the whole scenes retarded
I’ll take your word for it, since I’m not going to watch it. Quick question though, would guns even work on demons?

>Again shooting as a seven year old. Physical strength is really not a major factor to pull a trigger or even be accurate.

I guess you're right then. I've never used gun so yeah I was talking out of my ass but still, they're hunting rifles (but then again they were standing a few feets away from the gate so yeah you're right).

>would guns even work on demons?

They weren't just a few demons and they weren't entirely made of regular demons. We're talking about all the armies of hell PHYSICALLY exiting through that gate. No possession or bullshit like that. They were supposed to be welcomed by lilith but our three heros got there first and drew fancy seals on top quality paper thrown onto the floor. The fact that the gate was only hot enough to make them go "whew lad is a bit hot in ere innit?" is a amazing

Yeah alright this one's justified.

while the series is objectively bad, it doesn't trigger me. so I can't imagine being as triggered as you are.

I did like how many times a character talked about an awesome thing that happened off screen though.

Wait, so the entire show sounds like some Tumblr-esque fantasy, so why did they have the guns. It’s not like they’re doomguy, three teens with guns aren’t really going to do anything against hell. Wouldn’t it be more consistent with their ideology just to have them put all their bets on whatever seals they were making, rather than put in muh brave teens with guns?
Or did they just add the guns to talk about how “manly” they made the tranny look cause thats stupid, like really stupid. Guns are the great equalizer, trying to make them a “manly” gendered thing is weird.

all their attempts to make the tranny look manly are totally laughable. The scene where she swings a pickaxe, its clear she can clearly barely lift it. then the next scene that it needs to swing it, they have someone else do it from off screen and cut back and forth.

I wish these shows would have more "We are actually in fucking highschool" shit. Theo makes the basketball team and touts it around like it means something after he cheated, so does he have the great shot always now or only when Sabrina helped him? If only when Sabrina helped then wouldn't he go back to being a shitberg loser with no shot?

Fucking this :
I think the worst part is this :
>tranny uses spell on bully
>bully literally ruins his sport career/life and breaks his right tibia in such a way that he finds himself in a pool of blood
>becomes nicer to tranny
>tranny literally bumps fists with "his" bullies like they're long time friends

It's just so unrealistic. Maybe I remember wrong, maybe sabrina used a spell to make it easier, I don't know

Tranny says at some point
>the guys respect me now

Fucking kek