Create the Worst Cinematic Universe You Can

Pulp hero universe (similar to Wold Newton Universe I guess)
Despite numerous attempts these movies always flop (and some of them are pretty good movies)

Probably master and commander or some napoleonic war setting. Maybe make it a musical just to be sure

> people said marvel.

Lol anything where a character wears a cape is pure profit these das

The "Hamilton" cinematic universe.

Essentially the same premise but in addition I make "Stalin" and "Hitler"

>"Yo my name is Jozef Stalin disregarding constitutions use the power of my brain for redistributin' all this grain from Ukraine, political enemies I'm shootin'

they never assumed the general population as infantile as they are. People ate it up and they were forced to be successful instead.

This.

The Simpsons cinematic universe, except there's no Farmer 1, Farmer 2 or Sneed.

>op starts original and clever thread that has nothing to do with toe fungus, sneed or joker
>assraped rightwing incel troll has to fuck it up by making thread abt politics bc everyone hates trump herpderp muh MAGA orange man hero
>???????
>profit

inb4 blow me

>Someone makes an original thread on Yea Forums for once
>Capeshit fans too dumb to realize OP is directly mocking them hijack it and turn it into another fucking Marvel vs DC manchild debate thread

ironic

Okay, OP, no need to cry.

Legends EU

From start to finish. Cover it all. The good and the shit. Give each story a 3 hour laser spaceship lightsaber shit fest, fill in the longer arc stories with tv series, depict everything of how it was imagined (Luke has a smoking hot wife, Han and Leia have kids and go on adventures). Everything. The whole timeline. All of it.

Why the fuck not?

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it's weird isn't it? They seem to have this innate drive to discuss fictional powerlevels of people who wear spandex, and how their favourite quiplords powerlevel is higher than the other capeshitters favourite quiplord.
How is it they can do this nonstop for hours on end? There's nothing more vapid and irrelevant to them in the world, but it's as if they draw nourishment from debating each other about childrens movies.

Fox Cartoon Cinematic Universe
(They've proven with the crossover episodes, and the current writing of the shows that this would be a disaster)

First Movie: Peter causes some international incident that gets the CIA involved. Stan interrogates him and somehow both families get involved in a time travel plot.

Second Movie: The Planet Express Crew stumble upon a planet that has pockets of frozen time and super speed time, this is causing issues in the universe and it must be solved. One of the frozen time pockets shows The Simpsons, Bender/Fry shenanigans ensue and The Simpsons are brought into Futurama time line. They must be able to return to their own time. At the end of the movie Family Guy/American Dad show up at the same planet.

Third Movie: The four groups must work together to save the universe in the Futurama timeline and also return the other 3 families to their own time.

Greatest Story Never Told Cinematic Universe

Dr Who Cinematic universe

I cant think of anything gayer

What's appealing about a shared universe anyway? You have to watch several movies and/or TV shows to even get things.

I don't give a flying fuck about Captain America, why do I have to watch his movie?? Isn't this partially why comics are not mainstream? Because they're so difficult to follow because of this shit?

>all these retards that don’t read the thread and instead just want to whine
Ayn Rand cinematic universe

Pic related. It wouldn't surprise me if it happened either.

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imagine being so autistic that you get triggered by a joke

Universal monster EU

I mean if you need guaranteed flops just make movies out of video games, take your pick:

Assassin's Creed
Warcraft
Super Mario Bros
Mortal Kombat
Hitman
Tomb Raider, etc

Guaranteed to lose the big bucks and critically reviled by both reviewers and fans/gamers alike

Huuurrrrrrr

John Carter 2, 3 and 4. Could unironically end up being really good, but no one would care and it would bomb.

Dan Harmon Cinematic Universe

> Rick & Morty: The Movie (2021)
Everyone goes to a Simpsons Movie groan-worthy 2hour lobotomy. The post-credits scene teleports them into the live-action world of Community.

> Community, and a Movie (2023)
They get the cast back together, but there's so much animosity between them now that the chemistry is totally void. The whole thing is about Abed figuring out how Rick's portal gun works, and trying to use it to save Greendale from being shut down for reasons. Post-credit scene ends with Abed creating a portal back into the world of animation.

> Ultimate HarmonQuest (2024)
Abed opens a portal into the world of HarmonQuest and drags the Community gang along with him. They manage to meet up with Rick and Morty along the way as Rick tries to reclaim his portal gun, and they all get embroiled in some middling fantasy adventure with Fondue Zubag and company. Post-credit scene reveals the entire cinematic universe was just Harmon talking through a pitch for the cinematic universe to some executive who doesn't like it.

you can't make something worse than this. It's literally impossible.

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Nicholas Cage, into the Nichoverse

It stars Nicholas Cage as himself. He gets into an argument with his son while trying to get drunk, be left alone, and watch his own movies on VHS.

His son says something like "You care more about your fucking characters than you do about me! I wish THEY were your family!" and storms out, Nicholas Cage falls asleep in front of the TV with an empty bottle of scotch.

But the power of his son's wish brings Nicholas Cage's characters to life. Using CGI and green screen technology, come see Nicholas Cage, Nicholas Cage, and... Nicholas Cage, as he reprises his greatest roles like the guy from "Con Air", the guy from "The Weatherman", and the guy from"National Treasure" as his characters begin to escape their movies and have wacky misadventures through town.

Nicholas Cage and his son now have to do that bit from "Bill and Ted" where they have to run around Los Angeles trying to convince all of his characters to get back in their respective movies and stop trying to heist historical artifacts, steal cars, and cut off John Travolta's face.

Nicholas Cage comes face to face (or Cage to Cage!) with himself, and learns that maybe he isn't the easiest guy to deal with after all! He bonds with his son and learns valuable lessons about humility, patience, love,and self-reflection. His son is mortally wounded in the third movie, valiantly saving LA by battling Grug back into a cassette copy of "The Croods".

>"I...I love you dad... you're my favorite actor..."
>"I guess my greatest role of all time... was being a father..."

The third movie ends with him waking up in front of the TV with his empty bottle and running outside.

>"There's still time!"

he says, as he apologizes and hugs his son. It turns out it was all a dream.

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oh god I want to vomit

Best worst one yet, bravo

Live action Hanna Barbera universe, but only make the unpopular ones into movies.

the warren beatty cinematic universe

uwe boll cinematic universe

>Cage to Cage
I'm sold

>retard fucks premise of thread
>gets called out for being retarded
>additional pointless joke
>ZOMG HOW CAN YOU SHIT UP A TOTALLY ORIGINAL THREAD I DIDN'T MAKE THAT'S SUPER COOL AND NOT ABOUT CAPESHIT BY WHITEKNIGHTING CAPESHIT GET A LIFE GAAAH

Doctor who has brilliant ideas, just horrible execution 90% of the time.
Give it a good director and you got some solid kino

Star Wars

A female-centric Terminator film with no recognised stars, dead John Connor and a 260 million Euro budget designed to kickstart the franchise back into gear.

LMAO OWNED

I like this.
Unrelated, but I don't understand the Cage hate, he's one of my faivorite actors.

>THIS FALL
>KEVIN JAMES IS...

POTAMUS

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The Tic Tac Toe Cinematic Universe, a series of PG-13 crime dramas following three competing detectives playing a deadly game of wit and survival, where the only clue as to who is really behind the murders lies in a cryptic message of X's and O's
Tic, Tac, and Toe all get their own standalone movie before Tic Tac Toe, where they team up to fight a chess wizard named Charles Hess. If the demand is really high there'll be a spin off about their streetwise black informant named Checkers

DID
YOU
GET
THAT
THING
I
SENTYA???

Cthulhu Mythos Cinematic Universe
But realistic with no magic/monsters and set in the Character Drama genre
Movie 1:
The Call of Cthulhu
Francis Wayland Thurston reads the boring and uneventful notes of his great uncle George Gammell Angell.
Movie 2:
At the Mountains of Madness
Geologist William Dyer relates how he led a group of scholars from Miskatonic University on a previous expedition to Antarctica, during which they discovered nothing but ice and snow.
Movie 3:
The Shadow over Innsmouth
The narrator goes fising in the little town of Innsmouth. He is midly succesful and makes an almost decent meal out of his catch then goes back home.

>Tic, Tac, and Toe go down to Chinatown to meet with the head of the triad crime families

>Its an old asian grandmother named Ma Jong

As a fan of the Yogi Bear movie (yeah, I know, call me a fag and all that) I would watch the hell out of this.

reddit's here

It's the DC universe but every main character is rewritten to be a woman. Female comedians doing improv banter.

I don't think I could top what they did to SW

Don't sell yourself short.
SW could have been even worst. They could have made Luke a pathetic milkies drinking creepy nephew almost killer.
That would literally be a clownworld we would be living in if they did that.

The 90s Expanded Universe, featuring Aziz Ansari.

Our first movie is a simple remake of the Eddie Murphy classic, the Klumps.
This time, however, Aziz plays every single character. He is contractually obliged to say "hey gurrrl" at least once per scene.

Our second movie is another 90s reshoot; Flubber. Once again Aziz plays every single character, only this time he is legally bound to say "damn sista" at least every 4 seconds, and he has to be on ketamine the entire shoot.

Our third film is Coyote Ugly. Aziz will once again play all the characters, and he will be required (per his contract) to get 36 triple-D breast implants. We will also require him to speak in a heavy indian Apu accent because why not.

I project total box office earnings of between $100 to $200.

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Epic rap battles of history
Make it historically accurate too

The Karate Kid Trilogy Remake
But each movie is a silent Expressionist Ballet with no music and with a blue filter on during each of the whole 4 hours movies.

There's no reddit spacing so idk man

>t. Guy who spends hours on end on a Balinese finger painting imageboard

1.) Pol Pot: A Love Story
2.) Holiday in Cambodia
3.) Khmer "Moulin" Rouge

KINO

I loved the first one.
>tfw we will never get Tarzan meets John Carter or any other Rice Burroughs movie universe

Already exists and is Kino and not part of the "canon" Whoverse. Peter Cushing plays the Doctor in them and he's not an alien.

A story arc revolving around a degenerate faggot hellbent on contracting HIV through means of holding poz parties in cheap motel rooms, pumping his asshole inside out and then cutting it with razor blades to get dirty cum into his body quicker, and emptying out used condoms found in trash bins in club restrooms. He is also a pedo and hates all women and continually holds conversations with himself about how women are a waste and a mistake that need to be eradicated. He will be played by an Asian man since blacks, whites, and browns won't project themselves onto the character. Gays will hate it for showing true degeneracy without having the character be redeemable in any way, and it will bomb (or more likely be outright banned) in China and other countries, preventing any potential revenue from there.

A cinematic universe about different types of toasters
I film 3 consecutive movies about me going to the mall, buying as much bread as I can.
Then I toast them.
For two hours.
The sequel has another toaster.
The third one connects them, where I use both toasters at the same time in the greatest cinematic battle ever.
The entire budget is spent on buying toasters and bread.

Dead Actors Extended Universe, bring em all back with the power of lackluster computer graphics. Maybe they're trying to help actors in Hollywood survive? Who gives a fuck the whole point would be to see dead people brought back to life. Famous people decades apart flirting and fighting together against Weinstein or something

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Kino

I call it the "Night in Arkham" universe. The kicker? It doesn't actually have Batman in it until right at the end. Oh and there's an ongoing storyline set over the course of one, every film is predominately told in flashback. My idea is to consistently blue ball the audience with shit tier villains and a pace that moves at molasses.

>Phase 1
"Commissioner Gordan (2020)(125 minutes)" - Gordon is called to a riot at Arkham Asylum, he attempts to contact Batman but has no luck. In a flashback we reveal in painstaking detail Gordon's career and the corruption of GCPD
"Killer Croc Origins (2020)(143 minutes)" - Croc breaks loose from his cell thanks to a damaged door in Arkham, it's not revealed who broke the door. Flashback shows his origin and how he was captured by Batman (who is only shown in silhouette)
"GCPD (2021)(108 minutes) - film detailing the corruption in GCPD through the eyes of a rookie cop that eventually becomes corrupt himself.
"Madhatter" (2022)(130 minutes) - Madhatter is freed from his cell in Arkham and meets up with the Joker (only shown in silhouette), who begins a plan to mind control all the guards. Flashbacks reveal Madhatter is a pedophile who once preyed on Babs Gordon
"Arkham Assemble"(2022)(120 minutes) - mess of a film that introduces Harley, Ivy, Joker, and a host of other characters as they mount an assault on the Arkham staff, taking over the facility and putting out a ransom demand to GCPD. Film ends with a repeat of a scene from "Commissioner Gordon" only this time Gordon successfully contacts Batman, who is only shown for 3 seconds and is played by an out of shape Robert Pattinson.

At this point I'll assume I would have lost creative freedom from WB and filming for phase 2 would be radically different. If I'm allowed to continue, it meanders in such a fashion until phase 3 ends (2030)

Sadly

Kino.

I'd like a Santa Claus cinematic universe, except you aren't aware that its about Santa until probably halfway through the third movie or near the end of the second movie.
So the first one is called "Niklaus of the North" about an outcast living in the far winter northlands of Finland/Russia, he's kicked out of his tribe for betraying his chief, is beaten half to death and left to rot in the ice where he wakes up and the first act is just him surviving(fighting wolves, making tools, making fire). He finds a small child in the woods surrounded by her dead family, all of them killed by bandits and he loots the bodies and takes her with him in a rare moment of kindness/charity.
He looks after her, they don't speak the same language, teaches her to draw a bow or whatever. After a few months summer comes and the girl decides to go kill the bandits who killed her family, he follows her and brutally kills them all after they catch and kill her. Throughout the movie you see supernatural things like manic magic reindeer flying through the trees, snow monsters skulking around the forest, goblins stealing from the dead etc.
The movie ends with Niklaus taking the red cloak from the bandit king as his own.

The second movie would be him fighting the snow monsters and taming the great reindeer while protecting a settlement of people pushed north by the wars to the south.
The third movie would be him freeing the goblins from the king of winter and them agreeing to be his servants.
The fourth movie he'd gain immortality at the end by killing the North Wind
The fifth movie he'd meet his wife who'd be cursed with immortality, something about children suffering making her age.
And then at the end of the fifth movie you see Niklaus of the Tribe of Claws delivering his first toys to children to help keep his wife alive another year to be together.

Five movies to lead up to the fact you've just watched a gritty reboot of the story of Santa.

Thé sitcom universe. We got Big Bang theory. Seinfeld, Frazier, and friends all meeting at the central perk

God Hamilton is garbage

Is this pasta? It seems insanely well thought out

But that'd actually be good, user (At least until the Youzahn Whateverthefuck show up)

OP here, I see Max was right to put his faith in you.

You guys are doing great. We're all gonna be rich! Filthy rich!

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WORLD IS A FUCK

A cinematic triumph for the ages: a completely straight retelling of the M&M duels, all shot in real time, including making excel spreadsheets, going to the store, naming each piece of candy, and performing the duels.

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Jojo cinematic universe, Part 1-3 trilogy

First and foremost, we're keeping in all the references. Every single one of them. We're not pussying out and we're going to keep every name, every song, every film reference right in there. We will gladly pay royalties for everything

Second, written and directed by Joss Whedon all the way through.

Third, we're cutting out every fight that isn't against Dio, Speedwagon, or a Pillar Man, except in Stardust Crusaders where we keep the full fights with Vanilla Ice, N'doul, and Pet Shop. We're essentially taking a detour to Hong Kong to pick up Polnareff and then heading straight to Egypt. Zeppeli will be killed by Dio in the beginning of the third act instead.

Despite the musical influences, 90% of the soundtrack will be generic orchestral pieces and the rest will be pop songs handpicked by Whedon himself to serve as intro and credits music.

There will be obnoxious amounts of foreshadowing in part 1 and 2. ("Dio's so scary. When I see him, it's as if time itself is standing still!" "Yeah right, like THAT could ever happen")

Battle Tendency will be adapted to the letter except for Straizo not being in the movie, with Stroheim maintaining his central role and Smokey being given a more exaggerated accent.

Fights in Stardust Crusaders will mostly be hand to hand and stands will only be used as finishers. The final fight with Dio will only last 10 minutes and will end when Jotaro discovers he can also stop time.

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Iliad 3000
A superhero movie based around the Siege of New Troy, a pseudo futuristic pseudo American city.
Professor Priam, an extremely intelligent scientist and inventor and his two genetically modified sons, Hex, with the power of superhuman bravery and leadership, and Paritz, who has the power to turn invisible when he's scared, have been protecting New Troy for centuries. But when Paritz accidentally kidnaps and marries Boat Girl, a woman with the power to launch ships from her face, it infuriates her giant robotic husband Megalaus.

Mega's brother, the King of the Robots, Agamemtron, puts together the most dangerous gang of super villains ever assembled. There's A-Jackz, a massive beast of a man with super strength. There's Odysseus, a shapeshifting AI programmed to think a thousand steps ahead of it's enemies. There's Nestor the Immortal, an ancient undying wizard. There's Diamond Deez, a street thug who attained great powers by defeating a God in single combat. And then there's the great warrior Achilles, a sulky teenager who, when angered, gains mystical speed, strength and fighting prowess, with his trusty lover and sidekick Patrick.

But behind the scenes, insidious forces control and manipulate it all. The giant multinational law firm Trident Ltd, Preisdent Hera and the private military corp Black Pallas back the villains in their attempt to take over New Troy, while the seductive secret agent Aphrodesia and the playboy philanthropist Kreed Apollo offer their aid to Priam and his sons. And playing them all like chess is Mr Zeus, a multi-trillionaire who lives in Olympus, a massive spaceship made out of a mountain. What exactly does he want, and what lengths will he go to in order to achieve his bastard goals?

People keep sayingthis thread is ruined but its full of great OC

>Agamemtron

How can one be so highbrow and yet so lowbrow

No I think I just might be on the spectrum or something

checked

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Board game cinematic universe.
>Monopoly (2020)
Rich Uncle Pennybags is a Trump-esque billionaire playboy who goes from rags to riches to rags and then back to riches. His nemesis is the insidious Mr. Thimble.
>Battleship (2021)
It's a remake of the 2012 Battleship.
>Candy Land (2021)
A group of four racially diverse pre-teens get stumble into a magical realm made of candy, but things aren't as sweet as they appear.
>RISK (2022)
This is about a young ethnic child who tries to stop the US from going to war with everyone. Features the song Tears for Fears -- Everybody Wants to Rule the World.
>Scrabble (2022)
This is about a young black woman who is incredibly smart and knows a lot of words.
>Game Night 1 (2023)
This will be the first collaboration movie (and the end of Phase I) where all the board game characters meet. End credits from previous movies hints at a secret organization that has been "playing games" with the world, and in this movie, the good guys get together and form the group B.O.A.R.D (we'll figure out what that stands for later) to fight the insidious Players.
>Connect 4 (2023)
This is the beginning of Phase II and is about a man who builds a death machine where two people have to escape by trying to pile large discs on one another. It's a PG-13 rated horror/thriller/adventure.

Alternatively, Cereal Cinematic Universe.

>Hire Zack Snyder and give him complete creative control over everything
>Let him make movies as long as he likes
>He's making a Dune based universe

Don't even release them during winter either. Make them all summer blockbusters to really irritate people.

>"Well Jay, what did you think of "Niklaus of the North IV, Rise of the Goblin Lord"?"

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My first thought would be a cinematic universe about superheroes. But a few of them already exist, and despite horrendously bad, brainlets still eat that shit up. So we have to go to the next level, if the general populace likes eating shit. We give them the MCPUU.

Staring Bryce Dallas Howard as BrapGirl. She can fly from the force of her braps alone. She has to face off against and fight Rey from the Star Wars Sequel trilogy (it's a crossover between cinematic universes, a new level of cringe). The evil villain MilkyMilkers (played by Alexandra Daddario) has placed laxatives in the food of every restaurant on not-Ender poisoning Rey. BrapGirl must use her extensive knowledge of brapping to stop Rey from doing a "Force Fart" that could destroy the entire galaxy if allowed to pass through her cheeks. The second film follows BrapGirl trying to solve the mystery of who is pooping in the mouths of every male citizen in Braptropolis. It turns out it's the evil CubanHog (played by Ana de Armas), and the only way to save the poor male citizens is for Brapgirl to reverse anal vore the poop back out of their mouths into her own butt.

The Shakespeare cinematic universe. The classic characters have superpowers thiugh, like Hamlet is a medium and Oberon is the big bad.

The Eddie Murphy cinematic universe.
Eddie plays everyone.

>Diamond Deez, a street thug
My sides

Trainspotting universe. No, not the heroin thing, those unbelievably boring spotty twats that hang around train tracks writing down the numbers on trains. Several films with nothing but that, hours long where they stand in silence waiting for trains, scratching down numbers on notepads, each movie following one really boring trainspotter. It'd be a shared universe because they'd occasionally see each other, but naturally not talk because they're all autistic.

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user, that would just become kino like the detectorists

It's a Disney-Pixar style trilogy about the secret life that lives in the sewers. There's a tiny city inside the pipes filled with all the poop and random objects that end up getting flushed down the toilet.

A plucky talking piece of shit (Jonah Hill), a cranky, grumbling used condom (Jim Norton), and a dead goldfish convinced that she's still alive (Wanda Sykes) all have to put aside their differences and work together to navigate the sewers and make it back home to the humans that flushed them. There's a crusty wise old turd that tries to convince them that the outside is dangerous and that they're all better off in the sewer. They have to deal with rats, dehydration, and an "evil" waste management worker (Dennis Quaid) that keeps chasing them through the streets of San Francisco trying to get them back in the septic system.

>"I KNOW my human misses me! Ill do anything to get back home!"
>"I can't fit through the pipe! What a rip-off, I thought I was lubricated!"
>"Man ya'll jus hate me cause I'm GOLD!"

We follow them throughout three movies, during the course of which they end up in the ocean and are aided by Dory and the sea turtle from "Finding Nemo".

In the end, the poop meets a cute female poop and they start a diarrhea family and live happily ever after.

The Wizard of Oz.

Retell it as a realistic World War 1 horror show with fantasy elements. Chemical weapons as spells and the effects on the troops, witches locked in mortal combat above massive battle fields. The red brick road is paved in the blood of the fallen. Even call back to the horrific working conditions of the original.

>literally the sequel to Sausage Party
>Sausage Party 2: Means to an End

>start a diarrhea family
holy kek

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>a cute female poop

Which actress brapped her out?

>grumbling used condom (Jim Norton)
Perfect casting. Also a terrible enough movie that Norton would do it thinking it's a good career move.

Leslie Jones.

Archie cinematic universe
Or are they doing that already? Doesn't riverdale and that hilariously edgy sabrina remake take place in the same universe?

>"I can't fit through the pipe! What a rip-off, I thought I was lubricated!"

Read it in his voice, perfect casting

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imagine being so obsessed with the circlejerk that is American politics that you have to compulsively shoehorn in shitposts about Donald Trump in every thread on every board instead of just having fun

This is your brain on /pol/

An Adam sandler cinematic universe

Two ideas
First is a Chuck Lorre universe where in the first movie big bang theory meets two and a half man. Then in the other two movies they add other series of him.

The second would be a failed anime adaption universe with the Deathnote Netflix movie, Dragon Ball Evolution and last airbender meeting together, directed by M night shamalyalan

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The "Jackass" extended universe franchise

>All-female Jackass reboot

>Saturday morning cartoon show "Jackass Babies"

>"Scooby-Doo meets Jackass"

>Jackass 4 with a CGI Ryan Dunn

>All-negro blaxploitation reboot "Blackass" where a bunch of 1960s teens from the ghetto have to perform dangerous stunts and overcome racism to get a TV pilot ("Get off that shoppin' cart, NIGGER!") Movie ends with them riding rocket-powered soapbox derby cars through a pro-segregation rally and hitting Strom Thurmond in the nads with a tennis racket

>Party Boy standalone movie where Party Boy is being bullied by other male strippers and has to land the girl of his dreams in a $1,000,000 strip-off contest, only to fall for the cute nerdy bartender that liked him all along

We're gonna cum money.

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All three parts of Monster Girl Quest adapted into three hour long live action movies, but with real monster girls that have been genetically mutated.

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first movie: The Real Office. record footage of a standard cubicle farm at some random accounting agency, then have well known actors replicate the footage exactly. no prewritten dialogue or anything, only what was actually said.
rinse and repeat for other work settings using the same actors in the sequels.
Factory worker
Dentist
Delivery Driver
etc.
in the final movie it is revealed that the whole world just consists of exact clones of those same 15 actors

adam sandler cinematic universe,
his alternate characters from Click and the longest yard warp into the world of Water Boy from alternate dimensions, and recruit him to fight in an interdimensional tournament ala dragon ball super. Waterboy keeps them all refreshed with clean and fresh water while eventually taking down the big bad after he insults his mother and Louisiana

A series of of freaky-Friday films starring actors and their worst characters coming to life. Ben Stiller has to save his image as Dodgeball-man says problematic early 2000s sexist things in interviews and Zoolander is really not funny. Vince Vaughn tries to convince people a doppelganger of himself is appearing in shit films. Finally, Robb Schneider and Jennifer Lawrence are revealed as the evil masterminds, and they did all this because they were typecast and couldn't escape it. Play it as self-aware parody, nobody will see it. Kevin Hart is the stinger, lamenting that even magic can't make him tall.

I'll just reboot the "Carry On..." series, same scripts new cast and lock everyone in for 31 Movies with contracts so that if they die we'll just CGI them in for the remaining movies, so that they can't commit suicide to escape.

Hookerverse Cinematic Universe.

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Ghostbusters but all female. I can't believe no one posted this yet.

Even if I tried to make Ghostbusters with the worst male comics I could think of: Daniel Tosh, the ventriloquist guy, Dane Cook, and Bill Cosby, it still would have been better than the all female Ghostbusters.

janny cinematic universe. no one will go see a movie that lame

>Jack and Jill prequel origin movies that take place in gendered summer camps. Adam Sandler obviously plays both heros in their respective films but he's also playing the role of them as children.
>Jack and Jill 2: they get married and have incest twin babies. Both babies are also played by Adam Sandler.
>2Jack 2Jill: Both their incest babies have grown and have genetic mutations that give them superpowers. Their Parents Jack and Jill take the children Jack and Jill and go on the run from a government agency trying to steal the children and conscript them to fight the Chinese.
>Jack and Jill Squared: With both parents dying to protect their children, the super powered twins set out to avenge their slain parents, but in the process discover a secret team of heros known by C.L.I.C.K. who are forever at war with the mysterious "Ridiculous Six"

The RomCom universe, or "Loveverse".

Basically we grab the first six romcom scripts we can get for cheap, work in association with Hallmark channel to crank em out.

The shtick is that every character is connected to another in some way. The awkward friend in one movie is the wacky ex in another, shit like that.

E-Celeb Cinematic Universe

Do they have hilarious run-ins with the heritage railroad jocks?

The Sneed Cinematic Universe

They're already doing that, except badly.
>ruined ot, now taking shit from prequels, darth maul is first to die
>next trilogy is about kotor but with medieval flair

Based

lmao women are so easily upset

GoT the Movie with a completely different and miscast cast.

>Willem DaFoe - Robert Baratheon
>Zac Effron - Jamie Lannister
>Tony Cox - Thyrion Lannister
>Jennifer Cooldige - Cersei Lannister
etc.

Correct. This thread has potential but as always OP is a fag

Was kino until the last sentence, still fantastic though.

>Spacejam cinematic universe
>Except it’s golf
>with Disney Mickey Mouse Club characters
>each movie follows a separate pro golfer through a golf tournament competing against aliens
>they’re all designed in the aesthetic of nuWars
>there is basically no connecting story, it’s just the same plot over and over again with different golfers/toons
>the first film stars Mickey Mouse and pic-related

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I buy the rights to "the sex offender shuffle" youtube video and turn it into a trilogy based around Kevin Spacey, Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein

I would watch the shit out of this. Just to see Cage fight Wicker Man cage in a bear suit.

whats the point to even making it, besides as a money laundering front?

Disguise it more and you got yourself a kino.

YOU'RE ALL FORGETTING SOMETHING.
''Netflix Original''

>What exactly does he want

Rape. The answer is always rape.

Jon Snow - Daniel Radcliffe
Sam Tarly - Hugh Jackman
Littlefinger - Rob Brydon
Varys - David Mitchell
Ned Stark - Steve Carell
Cat Stark - Julie Walters
Arya and Sansa - the olsen twins
Theon - Channing tatum
Rob - Nick Frost

Dammit, I now need these movies to exist.

The Emoji Movie Cinematic Universe
Each film is about a different emoji in its own app

Cereal mascot cinematic universe

Start with a 4 hour long magnum opus of the honey nut cheerios bee trying to fight against cholesterol, then follow that up with a Tony The Tiger Dirty Harry ripoff. Transition to a musical with that old black lady from the Honey Bunches of Oates, and have no consistent tone or direction for any of the films.

Bonus points if we get a Univeral Horror theme spinoff with the halloween cereals like Booberry. And have Fruit Brute directed by Tarantino when things get stale

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the 4chancu

>There was MOOT and OP and me.
>And there was Longcat, cockmongler, Fat Janny, Adam the incel, Schlomo No Nose, Snax the whalefucker, Nicky Yea Forumslanda, Mikey duckroll
>And Pbear 2 times, who got that nickname because he did every loli twice. Like*, "You wanna get the pizza, get the pizza".

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Lars and the Real Girl Cinematic Universe (LTRGCU).

Starts with a remake of the first movie, except after the funeral[/funeral] for his love doll, the Goose orders a newer model instead of going out with his overly-friendly coworker.

In the second film, the spurned coworker gets her own female love doll to flex on him. Hers is even higher quality than his and his jealous incel rage leads to a dramatic car chase scene in which both vehicles are totalled and they get out of their vehicles and procede to destroy each others' dolls.

In the final movie, both of them arrested and being evaluated by psychiatrists as a framing device. The town is still pretending the dolls are real, and looking to find the bodies, which the two leads would obviously know the whereabouts of. It is revealed that they put the dolls back together as one doll, and are keeping it in a storage unit. This is treated as an allegory for what it means to love someone, or something.

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>the toons never actually appear in the film
>they’re the voices of the sportscasters
>even the ones who don’t talk

We'd reach the heat death of the universe before. He's even half finished

Bravo, this is truly awful. Would kill self.

This shit made me laugh. Good job.

Hope you’re still here user, cause this would be great.
>that enormous piss take after you hype it up as a rebirth of horror, taking it back to its roots
Plus, you could really pull off a very comfy twin peaks vibe, without any LYNCHED going on in the background.

>Ass 1
>Ass 2
>Ass 3

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Kek

This might be one of the funniest threads I’ve seen here in a long time.

Sounds like a fantasy that blue bear artist would dream about

Turf Boss Trilogy

1. Illegal Gardener.
2. Grounds Manager.
3. Turf Wizard.

All in really bad English and with a poorly disguised Democrat voter drive embedded in it. Two songs per movie. One badly filmed kung fu fight in each as well. Each script 90% the same as each other.

It could be good though.
You are right. They'll make this because Northstar is cannon gay. They can't resist that shit.

>I will never live in a universe where this happened

Trash Reality Cinematic Universe
16 & Pregnant the Movie
Bridezillas the Movie
My 600 Pound Movie

The big gangup film where they have to work together to stop a coalition of social workers hoping to turn a dying town around. The rich Bridezilla is reluctant to help the poor filth baby momma and chubizord but then the 16 yo's black baby daddy gives her the mean dick and she wears sunglasses for the rest of the movie and gets her lawyer husband to sue the social workers. Post credit scene is the bridezilla giving birth to a mulatto baby

Sneed fags should be hanged en masse

>only this time he is legally bound to say "damn sista" at least every 4 seconds, and he has to be on ketamine the entire shoot.
this is quinoa

I CAME FROM THAT!!

really hard, theres a hole in the wall now.

Rageface Universe
It's about the rage faces living in the rage town and getting into funny mishaps with each other. Every single face is a flanderization of an already corny archetype, they react to situations in a absolutely bombastic way. If the classic FUUUUU-face hits his toe on the curb, the camera zooms on his face and shakes a little while he lets out the signature shout. Or if forever alone-face get's stood up, we see again zoom into this face and see tears coming out.
The first film is called Rage Against the Universe and they're fighting literally the universe with the power of rage faces.
The second film is Rage Against the Machine and they're fighting some robots, we'll probably just copy paste some Transformers shit into it.
The third film is Rag3, it's a complete reversal on the established canon, the whole film is basically just some hot girl browsing 9gag.

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3 movies all 2 hours each big fucking effects budget. All it is is space naval warfare. Lots of salutes and shouting sir for the first 20 mins then 1 hour and 40 of space naval warfare

an ERBCU would rule

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You're missing just one TLC show to complete the TLC cinematic universe

We need our captain marvel

Someone... Jazzy.

Sausage Party EU where they go to a Wal-Mart and interact with all the other different products.

Back to the Future sequel trilogy starring Donald Glover

Who's your doc? Because this sounds like it might actually make money if you're not careful.

Terminator Genisys Cinematic Universe with extra Jai Courtney

True Kino

>mfw

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Smallfilms cinematic universe directed by Zack Snyder. Bagpuss is a heroin addict, Ivor the Engine is smuggling drugs and the Clangers are bloodthirsty beasts who want to conquer the universe

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>it's weird isn't it? They seem to have this innate drive to discuss fictional powerlevels of people who wear spandex, and how their favourite quiplords powerlevel is higher than the other capeshitters favourite quiplord.
>How is it they can do this nonstop for hours on end? There's nothing more vapid and irrelevant to them in the world, but it's as if they draw nourishment from debating each other about childrens movies.

Hello and welcome to planet Earth.

We've had this issue since before the internet existed. We called them trekkies.

The Emoji cinematic universe.

You know you're evil, right?

>We've had this issue since before the internet existed. We called them trekkies.

I can't believe I'm actually about to feel sorry for a boomer/Gen Xer

That sounds even worse than marvel/Dc shit and I'm so so sorry

Adam Sandler cinematic universe. All the various Adam Sandlers over the years team up to beat some past it actors who want money. Featuring Paul Blart (maybe we could widen it to a general Happy Madison cinematic universe)

And at the end the child is revealed to be Mr Hankey and phase 2 crosses over with South Park, with the pre pilot-tier graphics, none of the real voice actors from the show, and the kids talking like they're from Mary Poppins.

Ancient Mythology Cinematic Universe

How we do it: Reboot Clash of the Titans with Hercules as a supporting character in the film, then reboot Jason and the Argonauts as a parallel to Clash. The next film in the saga is an epic retelling of The Odyssey (With a prelude involving Troy, a possible future movie) followed by films involving characters such as Achilles, Theseus, and Atalanta.

the Idris Elba cinematic universe

all characters are played by Idris Elba
all dialogues are "Idris Elba"

So, Flushed Away?

The only problem with this is that there's no way these flop.

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Oh fuck off my sides you bitch

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Universe where EVERY Adam Sandler character exists.

I don't think there actually is an appeal in a shared universe. I think it worked for super heroes because they are usch recognizable names, but the formats that had been in use in comics for decades made it work just as well on screen. When it comes to literally anything else it just doesn't make sense.

The Sonic the Hedghog Cinematic universe

Phase 1:
>A feature length adaption of the first game
>a feature length adaption of sonic X
>a feature length adaption of sonic underground
>A feature length adaption of SatAm
>A feature length adaption of Sonic TAS
>all of it culiminates in a film where all the sonics from each universe work together to defeat all of the eggmans

Realistically?
The creepypasta verse
It would fall apart
Sad thing is, is that somebody is most likely going to attempt this in the next 5 years or so

That's called channel zero

I hate all of those comedians (cept Bill of course), but that would have been 50 times better than what we got.
Hell, it may have actually been great.

Cry more, bitch. Capekino will stay forever in Yea Forums

It pisses me off that the poster who wrote this, wrote it with the intention of being bad

You could just ADR "damn sista" and loop it throughout the entire film from start to finish.

it worked for super heroes because nerds did read every single super hero comic. it works for superheroes now because people expect superheroes to have crossovers

Super hero crossovers just make a bit more sense. when the world is under attack people with powers would both try to stop it. For Marvel in particular it was just written like a TV series, iron mans the main character but like any show each episode can focus on a different character and then have ab ig finale.

It made me kek and you tryna ruin it. Fucking faggot

The DCEU, what an absolute shitshoe

The first film centers around a group of criminals led by "Jack of Spades" [played by Zac Efron deepfaked into James Dean and voiced by Steve Blum], a charismatic rogue who throws playing cards at people with pinpoint accuracy (but the realistic result of doing no more damage than the occasional paper cut). His partners include a stoic behemoth of a man [played by Terry Crews deepfaked into Michael Clarke Duncan and voiced by Keith David] who rarely ever speaks but often provides deep insights and a neurotic chemist [played Doug Jones deepfaked into Marty Feldman and voiced by Jeffrey Combs] who makes high explosives (which never see use because there is no situation that calls for them). The posse set out to perform the heist of a lifetime while being trailed by a sultry yet flustered female FBI agent [played by Rosario Dawson deepfaked into a composite of Aaliyah, Sharon Tate, and Yuriko Hoshi voiced by Cree Summers]. Ultimately, they are arrested and given life sentences.

That's kino as fuck, but my plot twist would be to make Ferris the Tyler Durden of Cameron.

They already did. It's called Bioshock.

Oh shit, thread is still alive?