Fastest rising modern comedian, UFC hall of famer and elite athlete, podcast mogul...

>UFC Hall of Famer

Lol no.

Who?

Cool thanks for the yous

...

That is Brownard Schloeb, the greatest sneaker expert of all time. He was dominated by the heavyweight division before branching out to attempt become "Joe Rogan #2" in the entertainment world as well. He used to be known as "The Hybrid" because he was a journeyman in all aspects of martial arts and was never really very good at anything. Early in his career he relied on his belly flab and weight, but after getting heemed so many times decided to call it a day. Some highlights are when he was heemed stiff by the legend Antonio "Big Nog" Nogueira and actually got dominated by one of the worst fighters in the division, Travis Browne. I could go on for days about Spleb's record as a fighter, but I think it really speaks for itself.
I'm sure you've heard of his podcast before, The Fighter and the Kid (tfatk.com/). TFATK really showcases Brendan's CTE and lack of charisma and there is also this little goober named Bryan Callen (the kid). Bryan acts as the foil to Schlubb. The show features awkward 'banter' and cringeworthy interviews. Big Brown Piece Of Poo really creates a homosexual environment and puts his guests in discomfort. The interviews are like conversations between children, and literal retards.
If you want to know anymore feel free to ask. We all love him around here!

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gadoosh

I heemed myself today
To see if I still drawl
I focus on the brain
The only thing that heems
The heeming tears a hole
The old familiar heem
Try to heem it all away
But I remember every heem

What have I become
My heemest friend
Every heem I know goes away
In heem's end
And you could heem it all
My empire of heem
I will heem you down
My heem will make you hurt

I wear this crown of heems
Upon my heemster's chair
Full of broken THWOLTS
I cannot repair
Beneath the heems of time
The heemings disappear
You heem someone else
I am still heem right here

What have I become
My heemest friend
Every heem I know goes away
In heem's end
And you could heem it all
My empire of heem
I will heem you down
My heem will make you hurt

If I could heem again
A million miles away
I would heem myself
I would heem a way

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Hot take: Schaub should do a remake of Borat.

Schaub should do a remake of killin' them softly, delirious and raw

When will we get Brendan Fraser and Brendan Schaub together for true detective season 4?

Based

i believe i can heem
i believe i would gadoosh prime overeeem
i think about it every night and day
to bad i'm stuck doing gay for pay
woo!
(r kelly i beleive i can fly)

Post more

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I got to sit backstage while Brendan did his set. He got a few chuckles joking about what a MOOONSTER Ngannou was and how he'd fair against him. He told that story about the guy on his football team who he threw through a glass door and how he got robbed against Arlovski. Then he started showing pictures of his career and some pics of him getting beat by Travis Browne. He then went on and started talking about what a joke Glendale Fighting Club was and how Travis Browne was sentenced to folding Ronda's t-shirts and how glad he was to have given him a job in Ronda's t shirt factory. The crowd got kind of tired of it and someone threw a beer at the stage. The security rushed Schaub off the stage and I never saw him again. The PA asked me if I had a good time and gave me a bus pass and some ONNIT vouchers

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brown eye of lil tiger
(song: eye of the tiger)

Prime Artem heems Schaub

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cringe

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Hes funnier than Rogan

>implying thats an achievement

Thawts?

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what the fuck

>mfw peaches

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i-is that legal?

Hey Photogrissers,
My name is Brendan, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, blockbusters who spend every second of their day posting stupid ass pictures of me. You are everything bad in the world. Seriously, y'homeless cats. Honestly, have any of you even got a padcaste? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurinnies, but you all take to a whole nother level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on instantsgrams.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was an NFL superstar, and an Ultimate Fighter finalist. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people" and "see who can get the most cheeto dust on their fingers"? I also get free sneakers and tshirts, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SUCH a beast). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

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I think ud be surprised

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>UFC hall of famer

FUCKING LOL

>UFC hall of famer

good one

Looking forward to Big Brown GADOOSHING hollywood with his Big Mama's House remake

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Anyone got the webm of Scub giving his best friend an oil check?

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SEETHING

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fuck off heem. Seriously, which one of you faggots keep pushing schaub on Yea Forums

Friendly reminder that Schaub was Ronda Rousey's boyfriend
Friendly reminder that she is now married to the guy who heemed him into the shadow realm and literally retired him

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friendly reminder that travis browne faded into obscurity after losing 6 fights in a row and now lives off of Ronda's WWE money.

So what you are saying is, Big Brown got flushed into retirement by an absolute can?

>so what you are saying is
lmao bugman

Speak like a normal human being, you filthy incel zilch

redpill me on Schaub, why does Yea Forums love him so much

Prime Schaub heems Jon Jones

Not gonna lie that was pretty good