29 year old virgin

Why is redditarmy so obsessed about being a virgin?

No...

and not like me

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What about that lonely whale?

Fucking saved

>living

>tfw lost my virginity to a black girl

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Those 2 years Patrick spent as a Wizard Wombat were pretty cool.
Always flying around the zoo shooting lightning bolts at the shit animals.

base.....

Finally had sex at age 24. I finished in like 10 seconds and was mortified.

what was his reaction?

youtu.be/8KCQrLA3UKw

Chad orcas bully the virgin whale

>hugged and cared for by cute girls all his life
Superior to me desu just end it already

I distinctly remember that wombat becoming a meme back in like 2011 or 2012 on /r9k/ I think

>tfw been wizard for 2 years now
not actively being turned down, so no incel
>tfw seems like i feel nothing but contempt for all the whores i hear about around me

well, at least i can say my partner through the years has always been a good movie or game

our guy

Society, clowning and madness shall come for you.

im scared of this happening to me. How can I prevent it?

Just don't have sex.

You can't. I thought I was prepared. I ended up having to go down on her so its not all bad. And its fine now

unironically this

Imagine actually never having sex for more than a month. How can someone live like that? Personally I get pissed if I can't see my girlfriend for more than a week.

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No Yea Forums related but it's okay if you are IQ 60

:(

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kill yourself. problem solved

>fuck the girl
>then go down on her
user, I...

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>ended up having to go down on her so its not all bad.
lmao beta as fuck

he's a big guy

>he thinks that's bad

wait till you take longer and longer to cum and then your dick stops getting hard

He cute!

That is not a lynx. A lynx is one of nature's most impressive creations. Human interference ruined him. That is a mass of cells waiting to die.

I like eating pussy

>Yea Forums - Television & Film

she could at least give him a tug

>tfw legitimately thought about getting chemically castrated so i would have no sex drive and to MAKE THE PAIN STOP

that sentence makes no sense

Haha, imagine being a mass of cells waiting to die...crazy

Whale?

girls pee and bleed and crap babies from there man, that's fucking gross

Based!

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>At the peak population, most mice spent every living second in the company of hundreds of other mice. They gathered in the main squares, waiting to be fed and occasionally attacking each other. Few females carried pregnancies to term, and the ones that did seemed to simply forget about their babies. They'd move half their litter away from danger and forget the rest. Sometimes they'd drop and abandon a baby while they were carrying it.

>The few secluded spaces housed a population Calhoun called, "the beautiful ones." Generally guarded by one male, the females—and few males—inside the space didn't breed or fight or do anything but eat and groom and sleep. When the population started declining the beautiful ones were spared from violence and death, but had completely lost touch with social behaviors, including having sex or caring for their young.

That's fucking hot, imagine sticking your dicc inside a disgusting dirty blood, piss and puss filled unshaven vagene and then eating it out

Literally me except I jack off all day instead of being neutered and I'm skinny

What the fuck, how can you do that to one of this world's most beautiful and dignified creatures!

with a rubber band or a knife probably

>I like eating pussy

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god i wish that were me

Post horses getting castrated

This is the ultimate cuck think to do, how pathetic manlet do you have to be suck roastie who just fucked some chad before you

Just get hammered first and you'll struggle to even get it up.

Well Chad didn't make her orgasm so there's that.

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Don't stick it in until she is about to get off. She won't notice you're on a hair-trigger and she got her orgasm so she won't leave you alone after that anyway.

Almost everyone is bad at sex anyway so don't sweat it.

You're not missing anything. Girlfriends are a big commitment.

>tfw seems like i feel nothing but contempt for all the whores i hear about around me

Fuck off with the sour grapes, incel. If you spent 5 minutes trying you could easily get laid.

doubling

he's implying this thread is irrelevant to this board

Do animals feel bad to guys?!

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but "Television & Film" has nothing at all to do with Yea Forums

Janny are you ok?

holy based

What difference does it make lmao

oh, youre a woman

8 more months until i reach wizard status

Imagine not being able to enjoy 69

He doesn't look happy at all. He looks dead inside

my cat feels nice and fluffy

Is this about eating box? Cuz that's disgusting and the fast track to women disrespecting you. Nothing signals more powerfully to a woman's primal instincts that a male is unfit for reproduction than him risking the health of his face and mouth to lap upon her beef. It's a huge thrill for her, sure, but not because of any clitoral stimulation. Her "ohs" and "ahs" are entirely derived by amazement at the male's silly self sacrifice. Completely deluded, the box eater will munch away confident that he is a supreme lover, when the woman is secretly aghast at the implications of where he's putting his tongue. She's had that part of herself bored and excavated by many colors of cunt conquerors until she lost count. So many suitors have emptied themselves inside that box, smacking victoriously her vulvar filets with their slick protuberant phalluses afterwards. And here is her blessed self-avowed "pussy eater," breaking a sweat trying to lick that same battered clam meat. He even thinks those the prickly sensations in his mouth are from his muscular exertion, but the box eater has just ingested the top STDs of all 37 countries visited by that writhing, smiling woman, and those itching sensations in his throat are microscopically shown to be the conquest of his nerve tissue by her minge's army of misandrist microbes. Destroying his cells outright, the box's pox overwrites the beta's genome, rendering him more reproductive for the Papilloma species than his own. Don't be a goof and lick cloven meat.

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the animals that dont have sex are just like me

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