Pitch an episode

George lost his vape pen in Jerry's car, Kramer found it and used a different flavored juice than George's artisanal hand made vape juice. George wants Kramer to buy him a new vape since the old one is tainted. Kramer starts a new business idea from it to get people to quit vaping.

Jerry just instigates George.

this is actually really good

I
Like
It

Didn't Jerry already do that?

This was in this thread months ago, come up with something new

Inb4 Kramer Uber Jerry’s car

Don't you remember how much of a germaphobe Jerry was? There's no a chance in hell he got anywhere near her ass.

Jerry makes a joke that pisses off twitter, George falls for one of the SJWs protesting near Jerry’s apartment

jeri get ipad

George is fed up with being an incel and shoots up a synagogue

Where have I seen this before?

George starts liking everyone’s instagram posts, accidentally shares an embarrassing video of Elaine, everyone starts talking about it even when he deletes it

Yea but he licked pussy though. There are references about this in the show.

>like, nigger?
>no not nigger, Ive tweeted nigger a million times, I got banned for "n-word"
>wow mega oof and big yikes for you

george votes for trump and kramer is deported

Constanza gets an inheritance from an estranged family member and blows it all on avocado toast and Funko Pop figures. Now the gang has to figure out how to recoup all of that money so that his lawyer gets his promised cut.

elaine leads on the rest of the gang, but ends up dating and marrying a 29 year old dude who dresses differently (properly) and does home improvement jobs on the weekend.

kramer get redpilled

>Elaine is leading an anti-CIS gender protest at central park
>George is going hoping to find hairy women
>Kramer has to pretend to be a transgender women who wants to transform into a men
>Jerry want's to know if he qualifies to speak since he's not white but jewish

>that one episode where George identifies as a women sl he can shit in the women's toilet

>I'm telling you George, these jews control everything. Everything! The banks, the media, even the friggin' government. What are we gonna do about them George?
>Uh, Kramer, you do know i'm Jewish right?
>Kramer stares at george, his eyes devoid of life
*seinfeld bass starts playing*

Jesus, now that's a flashback.

>George dates an SJW but unintentionally offends her in different ways throughout the fate through minute comments she thinks are micro-aggressions
>They break up
>at the end of the episode Kramer is seen in his apartment with her and he makes blatantly offensive jokes but she sleeps with him

Kino

Puddy already did

>Elaine gets into videogame streaming
>Jerry and George mock her
>George gets into anime
>Elaine and Jerry start to mock him
>Kramer blurts out that he's a brony
>George, Elaine and Jerry mock him brutally
>Kramer gets a really fit cool brony gf at the end of the episode making everyone go crazy

>gf
I think you mean "girl" friend.

Jerry gets an STD.

>Elaine starts watching the news too much and begins imagining nazis everywhere
>she starts to think Kramer is a nazi terrorist due to various misunderstandings involving him asking about Judaism and looking suspicious outside a synagogue, and making the OK sign over and over
>she begins the process of moving to Israel to escape the rising 4th Reich while George and Jerry make fun of her
>after she has given up her apartment to Newman and sold her stuff, a process involving much hand-wringing, and has boarded the El Al flight to Tel Aviv, she gets a group text from Kramer with a picture of him and his new Jewish wife saying he has converted and married into the tribe
>Jerry and George respond to the text with congratulations and OK sign emojis
>the plane takes off while Elaine is seen inside screaming silently at the window

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Pretty sure the aids epidemic was current in this shows prime

>Elaine streaming for male thirst because she saw some pewdiepie type who she thought was sexy
>George gets into anime because he sees younger girls into some yaoi or whatever
>Kramer just watches MLP because he likes it and actually gets laid from it

I like the reversal of him getting the satisfaction that the others are blindly fishing for by embracing nerdy stuff when he gets into the gayest shit just because he enjoys it

Elaine isn't even Jewish.

Kino

THE CRUEL ANGEL'S THESIS BLEEDS

> Elaine meets a guy, but wants to break up with him since he replies to most things with "Epic" or "Cringe".
> George begins watching sissy hypno and acts increasingly feminine
> Kramer is well versed in sissy hypno and trap porn
> Jerry starts saying "Epic" as well, driving Elaine mad
> We find out Elaine's guy and Jerry are in the same 2007 RuneScape clan
> Kramer stops George from coming out to his entire family, but has been recording George's journey and descent, and releases a new sissy hypno on xvideos

>Elaine is the best man in a lesbian wedding and is confronted by a shitlord boomer lady on the train

She's a crypto-Jew

>Elaine tries to #metoo the office to move up ahead
>but all the men #metoo Elaine
>Elaine acknowledges she's a predator, but argues men like it and women can't harass men
>Jerry says she can be aggressive and too pushy
>she pushes jerry down
>kramer stutters and wags finger at elaine that she proved jerries point
>george laments that a women never tried harassing him

One of the few twitters I've ever looked at it is the Modern Seinfeld one. It's pretty good.

>George's GF wants a "no phones at dinner" rule. G: "We had a good thing going, Jerry! Now we're supposed to talk? That can only end badly!"

>After her fuck buddy texts her that she should come over to "watch Netflix," Elaine is pissed when he actually just wants to watch Netflix.

>Jerry refuses to go to a Cash Only diner. J:"They’ve seen the credit card! They know the credit card! It’s time to accept the credit card!"

>Elaine’s autocorrect makes her look racist in front of her new boss. E:“Why would they even program that in?” J:“I’m sure they didn’t!"

>Kramer thinks the NSA is spying on him, so he goes "off the grid." Except he uses Jerry's phone, computer & email. "You're just on MY grid!"

>When the WiFi George usually steals suddenly has a password, he becomes addicted to trying to “hack” in. J:“Just get your own!” G:“NEVER!"

>Jerry meets an amazing woman on JDate but when he begins to suspect she's faking her Judaism, Kramer volunteers to investigate.

>George refuses to listen to his GF's voicemails, gets dumped. “It’s 2015! Send a text! I don’t want to hear your voice if I don’t have to!”

>Elaine has no idea what her BF does for a living and it’s now too late to ask. E:“Teacher, I think. Or a doctor? Wait Is ‘computers' a job?"

>When Jerry dumps a woman who works for Time Warner Cable, his Internet stops working. She won’t get it fixed unless he takes her out again.

>George goes to war with an evil barista who writes embarrassing things on George's cup instead of his name.

>Jerry takes a date to Tim Whatley's Super Bowl party. She dumps Jerry when he cries at a commercial."What? The dog really loved that horse!"

>A woman accuses George of harrassing her by DM-ing her. G:"I was being friendly!" E:"Oh please.There's no such thing as a 'friendly' DM."

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those are all terrible

This is exactly what anyone says when they hear the pitch for a Seinfeld episode, so I'm guessing they're all actually gold.

jerry brings back a drunk girl back from doing a set.
he stumbles towards he room and she falls over on the couch. ass up.
he closes the door.
then kramer bust in the door and is surprised by the ass staring at him.
desires get the better of him and he raw dogs her. as he comes, he hears jerry drunkingly say, 'lauren? lauren?'
kramer quickly leaves and lowers her skirt.
jerry comes out and looks around and he drunkingly sees her and just as he is about to sex her he passes her and gets a glass of water and goes back to his room and closes the door.
after a while george comes in. desire instantly grabs him and he lifts up her skirt and begins eating her out. he hears the door and quickly ducks behind the kitchen counter.
elaine enters and sees the drunken lauren. she lifts the skirt and likes what she sees. she positions herself and lifts her skirt and begins scissoring lauren.
9 months later lauren and elaine bring their baby to jerry's thinking he's the father.
kramer quietly looking on and noticing their huge noses and big fro.

>George dates an SJW but unintentionally offends her in different ways throughout the fate through minute comments she thinks are micro-aggressions
>They break up
Didn't they do this, but with jerry

Yes, the SJW Injun.

>Kramer dates a tranny

Giddyup

I don't get this. The gang wasnt full of trendy hipster teenagers, they were adults. If seinfeld was made today the difference is jerry would be considered an edgy comic

HEY JERRY!

A-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO!!!!!

I like this one.

>The gang wasnt full of trendy hipster teenagers, they were adults
"Seinfeld Babies" when? They all go to the same elementary school and lil' Kramer bursts into Jerry's treehouse and Georgie is always crying about something (literally) and Elaine can't choose which 3rd grader she wants to kiss first...

I just bumped into some girl I've seen 5 years earlier when she was a young hipster chick. Now she looks like she's in her late 20s to early 30s with a strained face, 4 year old kid, and with the same Squirtle tattoo. My generation when it reaches middle age is going to be hilarious and sad.

>It’s 2015!

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>George gets seduced by the alt-right episode

>Elaine proposes an open relationship, her boyfriend starts bringing home traps

>The Contest but its who can stay vegan the longest

krame farm tomacco

>Kramer starts going on online political forum
>starts getting into extremist movements, and keeps switching between contradicting ideologies throughout the episode

>K: it's those damn globalist KEKS in the media that is keeping white men like me down!
>E: but Kramer, this morning you said you want to dismantle the white cis-patriarchy with your black bloc buddies
>G: And yesterday you talked about how you want to throw commies from a helicopter and protect your ''McNukes''
>J: and I am pretty sure I remember something about the workers of the world crushing capitalist imperialism
>K: Oh that's what (((they))) want you to think!

Jerry gets stuck in line behind ISIS at the grocery store.

>J: The worst part was when they tried to use expired coupons!

George accidentally tags himself in his boss’ wife’s Facebook photo. Kramer start composting sunchip bags in his apartment

this twitter was literally run by a john oliver show writer (josh gondelman)

Elaine uses dating app and finds super muscular hunk but it turns out to be a ftm
Jerry's delivery driver licks his fingers after delivering food and Jerry finds the top partially open
George's office gets rid of his favorite cold brew coffee
Kramer's carefully curated "chill mix" on Spotify has all of the Coltrane songs removed from it

Jerry get iPad
Elaine like Samsung
George no phone
Kramerman only use motorola 1992
Mmmmmehehe

entire episode characters only communicate with snapchat

>Jerry's apartment is being fumigated again so he is staying two nights at Kramer's
>Jerry orders Uber Eats
>Bob & Cedric deliver it
Jerry: "hey my bag is unsealed again"
Kramer: "oh you know you should request a refund. You know Bob Sacamano's kid? He requested a refund just because he could. He got it instantly! They don't even check, it's all robotic now!"
Jerry: "it's okay I guess, who caresss"
>Orders it again to Kramer's apartment
>open again, leaves 1star review and requests refund
>Bob and Cedric return a day later and confront Kramer
>"DID YOU! Leave a 1 star rating? I didn't leave a 1 star rating. It must have been YOU that left a 1 star rating. It must have been YOU that cost me $7.95 plus tip. Because WE did not cost ourselves $7.95 plus tip"

>thats_actually_really_good.png

>>Jerry takes a date to Tim Whatley's Super Bowl party. She dumps Jerry when he cries at a commercial."What? The dog really loved that horse!"
It would be more the gf crying at the commercial and Jerry breaking up with her

The tap

Jesus Christ,these can literally be summarized as "Jerry get ipad". Also people thought this guy is creative but all he does is make up one line or modernizes an older episode and people think he wrote an entire episode. Let me try

>Kramer thinks that Teslas have bigger range than the one on the screen and he tests it out with a guy from a dealership

It's funny because it's a zany Seinfeld plot and it's modern because there is a Tesla in it! How creative am I?!

The gang goes to see a movie, when buying a ticket Jerry reserves a spot in the theatre at the kiosk but when he gets there Newman is in it. George gets caught trying to sneak a Twix bar into the theatre by the guy who stole his Twix at the car dealership and now works as an attendant at the theatre. Elaine munches face with a guy during the movie but when she moves her hand down his pants to tug on him she realizes "he" is actually a "she." Kramer decides to check out the projector to see "If it's like the one I have in my house" and ruins the whole movie for everyone

chuckled

>the neighbourhood gets flooded with Somali immigrants
>rape and murder skyrocket
>k.we got to do something about these immigrants!
>j.let's not be racist Kramer
>George burts into the flat
>G.they raped and beat eliane jerry! she's in the hospital
>k.see I told you Jerry!
>j. Not all black people it was probably just mental health issues he didn't do anything
>G.that black bastard

George isn't Jewish, he's Latvian Orthodox.

converted