ITT: We share our American Psycho theories

Chloe Seveiny was the killer all along

Bateman’s dad owns the company he works for and literally does nothing because he has a made up position.

Bateman is just some dork who imagines murdering coworkers but is too much of a wimp to do anything.

Bateman is actually Heisenberg.

Dubs and it was all a dream

And just like that, it became canon.

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It’s an incel’s daydream

this
he's actually a can of pringles

bateman is a bag of ultra spicy doritos

The ride never ends, it seems

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This is the reality i accept
Unless i get dubs then it that case he was a bag of funyuns

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Bateman is a bag of stale ultra spicy doritos.

Incels want to live in a repetitive office job that makes you go insane?

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Bateman killed a couple of hookers but nobody important, so nobody noticed.

bateman is a fresh from the factory bag of ultra spicy doritos

he killed Paul Allen

the puppy never died

He did not

Why would a guy with such great attention to detail misspell the name of his company on his own business cards?

Bateman never killed hookers, because the hookers were actually slim jims

Yes he did.

So close

Bateman blew louis in the bathroom

the murders were never included in the film, they were in our imaginations the entire time. it's actually a boring office comedy (go check, I'm serious)

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Paul Allen was actually a muskrat

Jean is CIA

>"There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory."

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Even better, Paul Allen was two muskrats

Bateman actually doesn't like Huey Lewis and the News at all

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kek

bateman is a bag of ultra spicy doritos that's been sitting on the shelf pretty close to expiration but will still taste great even after opened

donald kimball is a bag of cool ranch doritos

Expiration date is a fucking meme and you are literally retarded if you let it stop you from enjoying a delicious bag of Doritos®

Homeless guy actually killed him and everything after was purgatory.

Bond trips

paul allen was a bag of cheese doritos

Paul Allen was a bag of tostitos. That’s why Bateman hated him so much. Also most people are always confusing tostitos and doritos.

he was actually a bag of generic brand corn based dipping snacks

this

>he was actually a bag of generic brand corn based dipping snacks
I feel like I should be mad, but I'm not

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So the entire book/film is a metaphor for the short-term satisfaction of Doritos not being sufficient to outweigh their ultimately artificial and unhealthy composition’s effects on society?

The novie shows the importance of truth, which is why we should wife up our own sisters and never lie

jean is guacamole

Halberstram is a Kitkat®

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Al in the alley is guacamole
his dog is refried beans

Jean is cool ranch. It makes sense if you’ve read Lunar Park.

>Bateman killing him with the axe and defiling his corpse is a metaphor for people who eat KitKats like pic related

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More like a perfect bag of Lays baked potato chips.

Truth is, the gets were dubs from the start.

the homeless guy was a metaphor for jeb bush's presidential campaign

Bateman was a bowl of refreshing Dippin’ Dots® ice cream the whole time.

Dippin’ Dots®: The Icecream of the Future.

Bateman never killed Halberstram. Halberstram was the dickhead for whom Bateman was mistaken by Allen.

Dubs and he's cool ranch

...

But in reality Bateman killed KitKat Halberstram as he’d mistaken him for Hershies Cookies and Cream Allen.

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>I can't believe that mr. Pringle prefers Cheetos snacks to mine

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I’m taking your dubs as confirmation Allen was actually Halberstram and you can’t stop me.

Whole thing was cheesed from the start

Bateman was an incel

Dubs and he’s actually chad.
fucking make it happen!

based and truthpilled

Truth is, the Dorito theory is valid

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bateman is two bags of doritos on top of each other wearing a suit to pass as a person

The protagonist is actually the Uzi 9mm Bateman keeps in his gym locker next to his vagina collection.

Bateman had sex

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kek rollin for this

holy....

Bateman is the purple bag of Doritos

What if he was FOUR bags of Doritos in a coat?

Doritos.

Paul Allen is a bag of cheetos

he was a dorito incel

dorito theory confirmed.

D

>I can eat 1000 now

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Paul Allen was the tortilla chips Ivanka Trump was eating at that Mexican restaurant.

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It ain't easy being cheesy.

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>tfw it all makes sense now

No theory, just wanted to say that yes, I, Christian Bale, frequent Yea Forums and enjoy your threads.
I also have a written contract (that I'm not supposed to talk about) wherein I control who gets dubs and who doesn't.
Check em if you don't believe me.

cringe
Paul faked his own death and escaped shortly after.

The whole movie is actually a metaphor for modern day lefties. It's so obvious. Figure it out.

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It's actually square to be hip because American Psycho is now the film equivalent of dad rock

newfag wearing the skin of an oldfag

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P. Bate's lawyer is actually 2 dogs in a coat like in that Doritos commercial

there is literally nothing wrong with dad rock though

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Bateman was infact a black man this whole time

Paul Allen is Pringles, the superior chip.

>Look at that subtle, off brand packaging. That subtle flavour. Oh my god. It even has a 2-for-1 deal.

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Bateman knows he’s narrating a novel/movie and the absurdity that his life is art for sick entertainment

Bateman is a negro mucher

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Paul was Cheetos

Halberstram was a coffe crisp

someone write a paul allen's card scene but it's about chips instead I'm about to go to bed.

Bateman is a nigger-loving Jew faggot.

Bateman was the ATM and fed himself a stray cat.

Dorsia was actually a supermarket

I am the atm

Dubs and my crush becomes my girlfriend soon.

triple confirmed, very nice

Looks good to me

OWEN
How's the Twitch account going, Marcus?

BATEMAN
(Nervous)
It's...it's...all right.

OWEN
Really? That's interesting.
(He stares at Bateman, smiling)
Not great?

BATEMAN
Oh well, you know.

OWEN
And how's Salsa? She's a great condiment.

BATEMAN
Oh yes. I'm very lucky.

McDermott and Price enter.

McDERMOTT
Hey. Owen! Congratulations on the Twitch Prime account.

OWEN
Thank you, Baxter.

PRICE
Listen, Paul. Cheetos?

OWEN
Call me.
(Hands him a business card)

PRICE
How about Friday?

OWEN
No can do. Got a res at eight-thirty at Dorsia Supermarket. Great sea urchin ceviche flavour tacos.

There is a stunned silence as he walks away
and sits in a corner of the room, ostentatiously studying hentai.

CLOSE-UP on Bateman's face, cold with hatred.

PRICE
(Whispering)
Jesus. Dorsia Supermarket? On a Friday night? How'd he swing that?

McDERMOTT (Whispering)
I think he's lying.

Bateman takes out his wallet and pulls out a bag of Doritos.

PRICE
(Suddenly enthused)
What's that, a gram of salt?

BATEMAN
New flavour. What do you think?

McDermott lifts it up and examines the lettering carefully.

McDERMOTT
Whoa. Very nice. Take a look.

He hands it to Van Patten.

BATEMAN
Picked them up from the production line yesterday.

VAN PATTEN
Good coloring.

BATEMAN
That's bones. And the flavouring is something called "Sicilian Radish".

McDERMOTT
(Envious)
Sicilian Radish?

VAN PATTEN
It is very cool, Bateman. But that's nothing.

He pulls a bag of Doritos out of his wallet and slaps it on the table.

VAN PATTEN
Look at this.

They all lean forward to inspect it.

(cont.)

PRICE
That's really nice.

Bateman clenches his fists beneath the table, trying to control his anxiety.

VAN PATTEN
Eggshell with Romanian Tomato.
(Turning to Bateman)
What do you think?

BATEMAN
(Barely able to breath, his voice a croak)
Nice.

PRICE
(Holding the bag up to the light)
Jesus. This is really super. How'd a nitwit like you get so tasteful?

Bateman stares at his own bag and then enviously at McDermott's.

BATEMAN (V.O.)
I can't believe that Price prefers McDermott's bag to mine.

PRICE
But wait. You ain't seen nothin' yet.

He holds up his own bag.

PRICE
Raised lettering, pale nimbus white...

BATEMAN
(Choking with anxiety)
Impressive. Very nice. Let's see Paul Owen's bag.

Price pulls a multipack bag from an inside coat pocket and holds it up for their inspection: "PLUM AND ORANGE, PICKLES & PISTACIOS,
MELONS AND AVOCADOS." Bateman swallows, speechless.
The sound in the room dies down and all we hear is a faint heartbeat as Bateman stares at the magnificent multipack bag.

BATEMAN (V.O.)
Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark...

His hand shaking, Bateman lifts up the multipack bag and stares at it until it fills the screen.

He lets it fall. The SOUND RETURNS TO NORMAL.

CARRUTHERS Is something wrong? Patrick...you're sweating.

END SCENE

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bateman is nacho cheese

bateman is CIA

bateman is doritos and him killing people was actually a metaphor for the negative effects of junk food

Fuck now I really want some doritos

>Dubs finger happens at 33 seconds

K I N O
I
N
O

what a faggot

Thas a good one

holy shit how canon is this

Bateman doesn't know what is real and what isn't and neither do we. You gotta read the book it's way more obvious there. The real estate agent cleaned up the hooker murders to protect herself and the value of the condo. The shootout was real. Him killing Paul Allen wasn't. And he has no idea between fantasy and reality. Also in the book there is this part were he is coked out and yells at some Jews at a deli cuz they won't make a cheeseburger. Its fucking hilarious.

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The lady who cleans out Halberstrallen’s apartment is a proxy for the FDA covering up the crimes of the Lay corporation.

bateman is a gamer

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fuck u

The entire film is Smithers’ hangover dream and Bateman is his idealised form of Mr Burns.

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Price will get dubs

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Bateman never actually had to return any videotapes.

TIL Bateman is Doritos.

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What a wild ride

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American Psycho 2 is canon

because he's doritos

No it fucking isn't, my dorito dubs confirms it.

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yes it is user

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oh yeah? these gets say otherwise

American Psycho is in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, all of the supposed murders were actually deaths caused by the snap

American Psycho is a prequel to Equilibrium.

>bateman is actually a bag of doritos or something

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This whole thread was a dream and nothing happened.

Fucking based, thank you

Your life was a dream in Brett Easton Ellis’ mind and this thread definitely happened.

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At last I truly see

It was never a dream. Bateman was really a bag of gay Doritos

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honk honk

Damn how strong are doritos?

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They can do over a thousand crunches apparently

That picture is retarded. All that text should be mirrored

Such is the power of doritos

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It doesn't stop

I am Patrick Bateman, AMA

No you're not, doritos can't talk

This strong.

Bateman is, and has always been, my instrument

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