ITT: Times we acted like the new Joker

>start playing game
>"press any button to continue"
>press the power button

Insane in the mainbrain

>don't shower or change underwear or socks for 4 days
>start to stink
>people around me notice
Jokes on them...

>Free samples are one per customer
>Come back later when the new guy comes and eat again

MAYBE I’M CRAAAAAAZZZAAAAY

>have to pee at kintorium
>in the seats in front of the metal bar
>row is completely full
>dont want to awkwardly squeeze buy everyone
>vault the metal bar
>fuck the landing and twist my ankle
>fall into the opposing seats
>whole theater bursts into laughter
>two-step my way down the aisle on my broken ankle
>bow and take my tophat off
>whole theater enthusiastically applauses

>sometimes troll and act as the voice of reason in the same thread

>Be me, 23 yo
>buy lego set
>It says from ages 7 to 12
>Finish it anyway
We truly live in society

chills

>be walking somewhere in public
>for a few seconds walk in lockstep with random girl next to me
>imagine being in a relationship with her, and we're going somewhere together

Haha

>be me
>have a huge crush on my cousin
>we sleep together sometimes and nothing happens

>make inane post that makes no sense
>people reply
>laugh
>look around my shitty apartment
>its 4 AM
>whiskey bottle is empty
>I havent gotten anything done today
>hold my head in my hands
>scream and laugh while tears stream down

Its not a tragedy. Its a comedy.

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>user says have sex
>pay a hooker
>she says I'm too ugly and runs away
>complain to pimp
>he beats me up
SMILE THOUGH YOUR HEART IS ACHING

>>people reply

Not larping i dont even get that. I genuinely think im shadowbanned. Please reply someone

I think a girl did this to me once and I didn't realize it was happening until someone called out to me and asked me about it

Why didnt you use your katana or nunchucks?

ok

Is Joker the Xavier Renegade Angel of cinema?

Your opinions aren't obnoxious enough for people to reply to.

This. People will only reply to tell you how stupid you are.

>Go to the bar
>"One beer please"
>Bartender starts laughing at me
>I start laughing with him
>He stops laughing

CANT WAKE UP

Being a cunt is effort to me. Same as irl. Id much rather be alone than have to deal with social politics.

>Playing Fortnite
>tagging and knocking down other players like a baws
>everyone chatting on their teamspeak about their pathetic lives
>have the highest score
>clear my throat
>"Yeah you just lost to a GAMER GURL"
>cackle and then log off
>gottem

Watching the mutation of the Joker through my life time is like watching (((media))) warp Western Culture. It's a fucking mess and everyone is too busy eating it up rather than staring it right in the face and asking how does no one else see how terrible this is? And being shouted down by fanboys and shills.

Attached: Pop Culture is Walking Satire.gif (416x307, 2.58M)

Being a tranny dont count

>visit the local library
>take out a book
>get assaulted

>be drunk me
>walk 1 mile backwards while laughing like a maniac
they be laughing now but just wait

""""Identifying""""" as a girl doesn't make you a girl

>see user make clownposting thread
>start my own clownposting thread
>post in rivals thread telling him i started my own thread

TEARS IN THE RAIN

>playing wow classic
>faggot kid logs on
>everyone laughs at him
>he is in full tier 2 raiding gear and suffers from severe autism and is ignored by his parents
>easily main tanks molten core
>either is rich as fuck now or shot up the school

>reddit

>out for dinner
>waitress brings me my food
>"Enjoy your meal, sir."
>"Thanks, you too."
I'M SUCH A SICK FUCK I LIKE THE QUICK FUCK

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>sir

Check out this fancy boy. I bet you even sat down at a table instead of sitting in your car alone

You do at least record her changing right?

>complain about being forever alone on Yea Forums
>use women like tissues
SOMEBODY STOP ME

you got mogged by a ginger son, just face it

>Go on /pol/
>Type "incel" in a nazi thread
>click post
>leave

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you write like a man, tranny. and you're right people who play fortnite do have pathetic lives

>post here pretending to be a loser virgin with no job or gf
>actually married and have my own business
ALL MY FRIENDS ARE HEATHENS, TAKE IT SLOW

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>Have epilepsy
>Fake a seizure to not go to work
AND I RAAAAN I RAN SO FAR AWAY

>At cinema waiting to watch Us™ (2019) mystery/thriller directed by Jordan Peele
>Trailer for Joker starts playing
>Yell out "KINO" and "BASED"
>Everyone starts applauding and hollering
>Stand up and leave unnoticed through the fire exit

>slip on wet floor at work in front of black teenagers
>"OHHHHHH DAMN IS YOU OKAY???"
>y-yes I is okay..

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>heard rumor that girl likes me
>Tell her she's a stupid bitch an that I hate her

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>lots of work to do
>tell my colleagues I'm really busy on a project and they should handle it today
>browse Yea Forums all day
>boss finds out
>start pressing on my nose making honking sounds

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Good morning Mr President.

Record her. Keep the memories alive.

>taking a bus and laughing about some random thing i keep remembering
>guy punches me out of nowhere because that totally happens in real life
>fall to the ground cackling like a maniac

>actually married

You'll be in a hell none of us can imagine when she leaves

>be me
>basically new Joker
>live in Jew York
>price to board subway is $2.75
>go to refill my card at the machine
>old man walks up to me
>asks for $3
>assume he needs to refill his card
>was loaded on cash anyway
>sure why not
>give him the money and refill my card
>pass the turnstile
>turn back
>old man is still there acting like he has no idea what he just did to me
REEEEEEEE
next time someone asks for $3 at the subway, I'll offer to open the emergency exit gate for them instead

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>smoke weed every day beforr work
>function normally and handle social situations well
I'M NOT CRAZY I'M JUST A LITTLE UNWELL

>Start a "movies Yea Forums loves but are actually shit" thread
>I actually love the movie, it's one of my favorites
WHAT'S IN YOUR HEAAAAAADD IN YOUR HEEEEADDDD ZOMBIE ZOMBIE

>fire alarm goes off

>act like im better than everyone, even though i know im pathetic
ooouughhh HAHAHA!!! SOMEBODY STOP ME!

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>guy asking for money outside coffee shop
>go in and buy a piece of pie and a bottle of water and give it to him
>he sells it to another homeless guy
Never gave them anything since

>be me
>wake up in my darkened abode
>don comically large hat and shit stained trenchcoat
>plod down the stairs and squat in front of the empty fireplace
>sister walks by
>Uh hi user
>take off that fucking dress
>she just walks away
>mhmm
>start a fire in the hearth despite the chimney not have been used for at least a decade and was likely blocked up
>jack off into the flames
>imagine fucking sister while I chant voodoo spells
>pass out from smoke inhalation
>wake up in hospital
>doctor asks if I'm okay
>struggle out of the bed telling them I am in their minds, always
>get sedated and restrained
WE ALL GOT LEFT BEHIND

>get a cup of coffee
>try to toss it in a bin from a distance
>it misses
>I just leave it there for somebody else to clean up
MAKE EM LAUGH, MAKE EM LAUGH!

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>make offtopic bait thread on Yea Forums
>report my own post
BAWITDABA DA BANG DA BANG DIGGY DIGGY DIGGY

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>Bum asks for some change
>Tell him I don't have any
>I actually do

based and devilish

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>see someone with a selfie profile pic
>it's a black person
>call them a nigger
>block them anyway

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Hello commander

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>go to reddit
>say men and women are different
>get 44 downvotes
>get told "I bet you took one bio class in high school"
>call user a retarded faggot
>banned

heh heh heh ho ho ho

Good morning, Mr. President. It's an honor to have you as a guest here.

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>drumfp

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>chatting with wife as she’s lying in bath and asked me to turn on hot tap
>turned cold on full

Damn. Me too. Being a chadcel is suffering

>tv asks me to cite an example of acting like The Joker from DC comics
>make up a story about a wife I don’t have

>having a walk
>see children playing and laughing
>play and laugh with them
>get arrested
LIFE IS STILL WORTHWHILE IF YOU JUST SMILE

>Post about hos much I hate Brie Larson
>Actually watches Brie Larson movies
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH I'M CRAAAAAZY

>*Curb your enthusiasm Starts playing*
>THAT'S WHEN I NEW MY LIFES A COMEDY

>falsely admit to tv that I don’t have a wife when I actually do
>the truth is I’ve never put cold water into her bath after her asking me to put in hot, as that would be a dick move and I love her

>live in a society
>take a bunch of sleeping pills and some vodka
>wake up in hospital
>everyone dismisses it as a cry for help
>joke's on them, I actually did only want help

Basedest president to ever live.

your posts are probably too bland and milquetoast for people to care about but here's a pity (You)

Uhhh... can I have some money?

>girl asks me if I want to have sex
>tell her no thanks, can we just be friends
>actually do want to have sex with her, lonely and horny 24/7
THERE'S SOMETHING HAPPENING HERE

Damn...

>this thread

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>browsing Yea Forums during a training class at my job
>see a MASSA U GON MAKE ME SQUIRT thread
>bust up laughing
>"what's so funny, user"
>"everything"
I'M NOT HERE RIGHT NOW PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE

>riding train through city
>its the afternoon on a cloudy day
>on the last train car
>its practically empty
>listening to Bohemian Rhapsody cause I only recently saw the movie and it reminded me about how much I used to listen to Queen with my dad
>arguing with other autists on Yea Forums
>get called a faggot for crying to a movie
>try to think about my response
>look up
>at that moment pass a giant glass building and the part where freddy sings about not wanting to be born plays
>stare at my reflection in the building
>think about where I am at life
>cry a little
>close thread

Based voluntarily celibate user really BTFO that roastie

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>smiiile.gif
Reminder that Yea Forums doesn't use gifs but webms, and that this is proof of mass shilling on this board from shills who're unfamiliar with this fact.

Just posted a gif, what are you going to do about it?

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>go to theater
>vow to be the only one not clapping at the end
>get swept up in the moment and clap like a retard
>I'm the only one clapping

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No. You just live in a society

>Unchecked mental illness: The post

t. newfag that wasn't here when we only had .gif support

>Yea Forums doesn't use gifs but webms
That's Yea Forums's business. This is 4channel.

>find a quarter
>put it in someone else's pocket without them knowing

>walking to the supermarket
>thinking to myself "alright user, you can do it, you won't talk to yourself outloud or do your weird walking moves"
>reach the liquor isle; bunch of girls around my age blocking the way
>slither through them while raising my full basket above their heads
>grab my ale and whiskey, walk backwards, do a spin and keep on going
>"kinda cringey but whatever" I think
>get done with groceries, walking home
>groups of people around my age sitting in coffee shops
>"boy, I sure wish I had made friends at Uni" I think
>groups of boys and girls coming my way
>take out my phone, pretend I read something infuriating and do the "click tongue and push mouth to the side" grimace
>arrive at my door
>"well buddy boy, that went pretty darn good" I say outloud
>big titted and short haired neighbor comes down the stairs
>she's heard it all
>we don't even live in an English speaking country
>get inside the elevator
>start laughing
>bang my head on the elevator's mirror
>some of my makeup comes off
>that's when I realized, my life wasn't a tragedy; it's a comedy
I'M A DREAM BREAKER, I'M A TRUTH MAKER
I'M A COLD-BLOODED KILLER AND I'M COMING FOR YOU

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Are you literally me?

Really makes you facepaint

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>the bell rings
>stay seated in my chair
>everyone gets up to leave
>as they start leaving i begin to chuckle
>by the time everyone is out im full on cackling
>teacher comes up to me asks if im okay
>manage to make out one single sentence through the smiles
>but first i pucker my lips and slyly scream
MY LIFE IS A COMEDY!
>leave my books and backpack on desk and leave

>sitting in the back of class
>throwing around a paper ball and laughing
>substitute walks up to my desk
>"what's so funny?"
>comedians
>class bursts out laughing

Whoa.... Somebody stickt this

I don't think so user. That was but a taste of my autism. It goes beyond such levels. Sadly...

Kys

>someone ask for sauce on a movie
>reply to his post saying nvm I've found it
STAY IN YOUR LANE BOY LANE BOY

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>go on Yea Forums
>choose random post to reply to
>"have sex"
>leave

>be me
>new kid moves into my immediate society
>chase him around for no reason and push him to the ground
>kick him in the back and loudly ask him where he thinks he comes from
>crying he says he doesn't know

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I've been browsing Yea Forums for like 12 years or more. Never heard of this. Is there a rules section or something?

>Look at this picture
>Read Assange as "Ass anger"
>Start cackling to myself in my private abode so hard that I piss and shit myself
>Start rolling on the floor laughing while the camera slowly pans away from me into the ceiling

LOCK ME UP

>trolley in front of the atm
>i push the trolley out of the way

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>come out of train station in London
>no one around
>have to piss
>hide behind tree that covers nothing
>many cars show up, headlights lighting up my junk
>friends laugh maniaclly at me

Are your friends 8 years old

>be me
>have huge crush on my cute deaf cousin with equally huge honkers
>don't have sex with her

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The problem started with thinking the Joker was a good character in the first place.

When I realized I was living in a society.

Say "Clown world!" at the end of a tweet to prove it.

>looked in the mirror
>laughed

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>at mcdicks
>get a big mac combo with a coke
>pour Sprite in my cup instead

SOMEONE TELL ME WHY I CHOSE THIS LIFE

>April Fools 2019
>posting like a true patrician
>No likes
>pull out phone, like all my posts
DAMAGED
A
M
A
G
E
D

>Throw plastic bottle in the paper can

>sitting on a bus
>there are four other passengers
>shout "I HATE PEOPLE WHO SHOUT ON BUSES"
Needless to say, I wasn't the only one chuckling

>take my own store bought snacks and drinks into movie theater
>don't open any of them in case i get caught
I'M A MANIAC, MANIAC I SURE KNOW

>burst out laughing in bust stop
>bystanders start to stare
>a elderaly women ask me if I'm okay
>tell her I'm fine
>tell her it's this society that's crazy

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Those trips of truth, damn.

>tell friends I'll finally hang out with them next week
>months later, still haven't left my house

I'M BLUE DABADEEDABADIIIIE

Hello, Mr. President!

heve sex

Britfags have the maturity of 8 year olds

>retards confusing GANGWEED JOKER with the New, Melancholic albeit Solace-ist Comedic Clown

Swines.

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God bless you, Mr. President, and keep up the good work. Can't wait for another four years!

>hold the door open for both men and women
>still get called a sexist

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>goes to bathroom in movie theatre high
>pee in sink
>sink was clogged to its full of pee and someone saw me and reported it
>got banned for life from that theatre

SMILE

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Rise up bitch

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>go to a school trip
>don't make any attempt at socializing despite my classmates being ok with my existence
CAUSE I'M TWISTED UP, I'M TWISTED UP, INSIDE

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Honestly, all memes aside, I might be the most mentally ill person on tv and most akin to the Joker. I've already posted in this thread 5 times, but I decided to take it seriously this time around.

I post on Yea Forums exclusively for about 12-16 hours each day. Every day. This board is pretty much my entire life. My life is just sitting in my room with movies playing in the background as I post here. I have several different monitors hooked up to different vpns to even change the number of posters in a given thread so no one calls out my samefagging.

On top of that, I pretend to be different people and even argue, disagree and insult myself. Writing in different styles and using different mannerisms so no one knows the extent of my posting or recognizes me. Often times when I'm online and in my peak posting hours, the catalog will be almost all me.

I figure I make about 20 posts a hour on average. Consistently for three years, that's about 300,000 posts, conservatively. I posted very frequently a decade prior to the three years of becoming a hermit, but not to this extent. I'd like to think I'm hitting close to a million posts in the near future.

Sometimes, I post so much I forget who is and isn't me. Chances are, if you're a regular on Yea Forums, you've spoken to a version of myself. Each time I make a successful meme or get a lot of (you)s, I save the image, print it out and frame it on my wall. I am surrounded by accomplishment. You are in my home and I'll most certainly be seeing you around. But the great thing about Yea Forums is that you'll never know it's me.

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>be me
>hear a new joker film is coming out
>gonna be capekino
>avoid all leaks
>trailer comes out
>wtf?
>how did they get all this footage of me
>turn around
>frog with camera yells CUT
RING AROUND THE ROSIES

>looked both ways before crossing the street
>it was a one way street

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Same here. Didn't bet on the last election and been kicking myself for it.

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>cute italian girl with green eyes serves me at shop
>don't have my item in stock and she says they can order online
>say it's okay and leave
>spend rest of the day thinking of cool ways I could've tried to get her number
In reality I wouldn't have the balls

>at the fair as a teenager
>walking around
>see a dollar bill on the group
>it’s a 20
>look at it
>put it back on the group
>walk away

I still don’t understand why I did it

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>begger asks me for cents to buy food (obviously drugs)
>have burrito in my backpack
>forget about it
>give him a whole euro

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Here you go, friend! Don’t spend it all in one place!

Based

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR

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Yesterday, I decided to just sit and talk with an insane homeless black man for an hour. We unironically talked about SOCIETY. Was a kino moment.

...fuck

I'm Billy McFarland and I get to hop online from time to time.

>euro
that would've been enought to make you a clown user, didn't need the story

>get into argument with a guy on Yea Forums
>he starts making some good arguments to his side
>start same fagging all my posts replying 'based' to me and cringe to him
>start putting tl dr to newest posts and typing differently creating multiple different anons arguing against one guy
>use my two mobiles to get rapid replies off
>if the guy still wins the argument I'll look for a spelling mistake or just put cringe
Still haven't lost an argument yet boys, undefeated since 2009

Based psycho user

>see two anons having a discussion in thread
>immediately interject and start acting like one of the anons and turn it to max rage
>then pretend to be other user when the first user replies
>derail their discussion completely and make them start arguing
If I can't have fun no-one can

invest in replycoin

>haven't had sex in years
>go to Yea Forums
>tell someone criticizing capeshit to "have sex"
>absorb the (you)s

Pics of wall now

>It ain't me starts playinh
g

>be me in college(uni for Europeans)
>teach a subject to 4 friends of mine
>they all pass , I fail
>3 years later I'm still not having a degree
My life truly is a comedy and tragedy but I have started enjoying it so it is a comedy

Fuck you i know we've interacted at some point. Prick

>teach a subject to 4 friends of mine
>they all pass , I fail

Ahhhhh. Poor user

kek, i really want to believe this is true. is this copypasta?

pics of wall?

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Keep up the good work sir! Remember you can raise 100,000 autistic rilfemen with a word should you need us.

cringe
based

Show us your wall or your full of shit

# # # # # # # Times you got joked by the jokers

No, this really is the most posts ive ever had

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I have been a less extreme version of you
I have also envisioned printing posts irl but never did. Once I told an user I will print his quads giving me a (You) and he started blushing and thanked me heartfully

Can you get more specific?

Nice pasta, saved.

>some guy posts about disliking something I like
>instantly get riled up and have to destroy this man
>insult the man for having a pleb/reddit/cringe taste
>leave the thread a victor
That'll teach them! Having different opinions than me

>walking in to a movie
>ticket taker tears my ticket, hands me the stub
>”Enjoy the show!”
>I say, “You too!”
>he doesn’t enjoy the show because he’s stuck taking tickets and hearing dozens of people say “You too!” to him

SSSSOMEBODY SSSTOP ME!

He smoked with his dealer

You're gonna start making me paranoid you mentally deranged faggot clown

>I post on Yea Forums exclusively for about 12-16 hours each day. Every day. This board is pretty much my entire life. My life is just sitting in my room with movies playing in the background as I post here.
I've been through that.
>On top of that, I pretend to be different people and even argue, disagree and insult myself. Writing in different styles and using different mannerisms so no one knows the extent of my posting or recognizes me.
I've done that too. Going from one extreme to the other. Congratulating or condemning myself. Having entire conversations with myself. I don't even do it fr fun. I just sometimes change my opinion, then post about the opposite thing in response to my first post. Then I have another change of heart, and so on and so forth. It's like two or more people taking over my hands.

jesus

i love you

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We should start Yea Forums clown street gangs globally. Cruising around in clown getup with our trap gfs taking territory downtown, selling illegaly downloaded newly released kino and experimental synthetic drugs, and running that hentai racket. It would cyberpunk af.

Thanks for listening to my cringy dream. Like and subscribe if you want to hear more.

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based as FUCK

Pic of your room?

youtube.com/watch?v=PJB0Z-3gvuw

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Thank you for replying to me. I was almost convinced I didn't exist.

I always wanted to hang up with anons, like going to somewhere private with some booze and chill watching movies or playing videogames. There's a certain humour to this place that I cannot find in real life, and I crave it from time to time

>three years of neet shitposting for 15+ hours each day
You are like a little baby. I've done it for 12, and I do it without shitposting.

me too but i'm too scared to go out

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nut up... and Rise brother

The fact that almost everyone here is murrican makes me feel sad sometimes since it's almost imposible I'll ever see anyone of you

i'm not american. i'm honestly a neet in chinkland. i which i could be a neet in the west.

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I'm not murican user,. cheer up

Liked and subscribed

>mom drops me off at cinema to see the latest kino at the kinoplex
>queue up in the line with the prettiest cashier, I'm a regular so she'll definitely remember me
>finally get to the front (I like to go when it's busy to show off my duster)
>slide up to the counter and with a sly smile ask for my usual
>girl looks confused
>I say it again, this time with more forceful eye contact
>She apologises and says she doesn't know my usual, brush it off and order my ticket to the new kino showing
>Family infront of me in queue was a black group so ask the cashier where they sat when choosing my seat
>her face lights up and she shows me, she must've thought I was with them
>correct her on her mistake "no m'dear, I wanted to know where those feral coons sat so I can sit as far away as possible"
>I bet she'll remember me know
>shocked at my alpha behaviour she trembles as she gives me my ticket and I say remember my order next time tuts
>flick my duster as I walk off, realise I forgot a XXL popcorn and tango ice blast
>go into cinema and spot the the Negroes smiling in the dark room
>check my velcro wallet (that's attached to a chain) is still in my possession and inform the white families as I walk past to be vigilant of thieves and point there way
>notice a family of mexicans sat near my seat and have to refrain from calling ICE, don't want to spoil my kinoplex adventure
>see they've snuck in burritos wrapped in tinfoil, perfect
>demand one of the burritos off them, say I'll tell the staff if they don't
>the gringo dad says he's going to beat me up, tell him I did karate and judo through online classes and he yields
>he offers his own but take the one his daughter was just opening just to assert my dominance (plus I think she was mirin)
>take my seat and check to see if my wallet is there just incase as black voodoo is very powerful
>tell my new jumping beaner friends to watch out for the blacks as well

>start watching the film and halfway through a funny part comes on, I smile to show my pleasure with this moment, can hear the black family begin to laugh along
>loudly exclaim "These stereotypes sure are true HUH!" to the people sat around me
>blacks go very quite very quickly
>have to leave to use the big boys room and ask my new qt mexican waifu to watch my duster and trilby
>give her a cheeky smile as I hop down the steps
>return and examine my garments to make sure no mexican hands touched them
>satisfied with the job my waifu did I shout over to her well done and she replies PUTA which is your welcome handsome in mexicanese
>Film finally goes to a close and I stomp on the burrito I took earlier and spread it all over the floor and wipe my burrito covered shoes on the seat in front of me
>Chuckle whilst I do it and give a big smile to anyone who looks at me
>no-one looks so I do another big laugh with a big pig snort at the end, this time I get looks so I give smiles
>Film finishes so I start to clap to let the directors know I enjoyed their kino, when other people join in I clap louder and for longer
>Exit last to check under everyones seats for dropped items, finders keepers amirite
>sniff the mexican cuties seat a little
>Leave the cinema and tell a attendant on the way out some mexicans were throwing food and stomped it into the ground, he looks disgruntled so quietly whisper to him "about time trump builds that wall am I right?" and walk out
>Mum is waiting for me already, text her at the 1 hour mark I was ready to be picked up (it's a 3 hour film) just to make sure she was on time for me
>She asks me what the burrito smell is when I get in the car so tell her that some dirty mexicans dropped food and I accidentally stepped in it, she sighs and says I guess we'll have to get you new shoes then
>Another win for the joker

really makes me think

I'm not a glorious American either. I'm a South Yuropoor...

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Ok so I'll admit I crosspost between Yea Forums and Yea Forums and if you've seen the Yea Forums-Mansion threads thats a great way to start. Like having a commune of sorts where everyone just hang out and play video games (or watch kino) and from there we could start our operations. Of course we'd need a rich user to own a mansion or even better a castle (whaaat??), and then we could LARP with badass outfits and shit and begin spreading out our message of uh dunno and planning our attacks on the Reddit Reich and the Tumblr Triumvirate. We would need sponsors or a way to make money so we dont have to work, maybe Shatner could let us live in his mansion kek.

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Have a (You), fresh from the oven.

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Prove it nigger or you're a larping liar.

This post had me laughing, and then I got sad, since I do this shit every night with a little masturbation mixed in.

MR. TRUMP GET DOWN

>shitposting on Yea Forums
>bunch of clowns trying to out-sperg each other
>no one showing them reaction image folders to see who has the biggest e-peen
ARE WE DEMENTED OR AM I DISTURBED?
THE SPACE THAT'S IN BETWEEN INSANE AND INSECURE.

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Whose that fat American comic strip character who acts like this

>mom goes out of town for a few days
>tells me to make sure the house is exactly as she left it
>say okay
>few minutes after she walks out the door I move the coffee table three inches to the left

I WANT SOMETHING ELSE TO GET ME THROUGH THIS SEMI-CHARMED KINDA LIFE

>walking up the stairs
>accidentally raise leg for an extra step that isn't there
>slam foot into ground
>twist ankle and fall forwards
>hands slip and I tumble down the stairs
>chin hits very first step and I curl up in pain
>it's still only the morning
>other people walk past quietly

And that's when I realized my life isn't a tragedy, it's a comedy.

I have about 28000 pictures of 2D lolis on my hard drive. But I can’t access it right now since I’m phoneposting from my wagecage

guess we were living in a joker society all along...

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Ironically me

can I get some jokers from you guys so I can build a proper folder?

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>only 28000
You are like little baby, watch this

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I got 5000 OC jokesters... stay tuned brother

Tits or gtfo

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>go to family gathering
>have to take a shit
>use some wet wipes I have in a small bag in my pocket instead of toilet paper
>find out later their plumbing got fucked up by it and they don't know why
DARKNESS IMPRISONING ME

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MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIDD

youtube.com/watch?v=JoNNOnf8ZdE

>T H E W O R L D I S A M E S S

Amazing

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Kek, reminds me of myself
>back in high school
>took only a single shower per day no matter what, out of laziness
>I also had fucking awful constipation due to shit diet and being a fat fuck, which caused me to hold my shit in for days, with the hard shit stinking more with each day until I shat it out
>on some days I'd wake up with shit stinking at its apex, it was faintly noticeable and I'd still go to school like that
>one day some girl which sat one row away from me even commented "something smells like shit"
>mfw I remember this fondly

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>butthole is itchy
>put my hand in my ass and scratch my butthole
>finger has poop on it now
> realize my life isn't a tragedy, it's a comedy

fucking what

based

>go to a dinner party I wasn't invited to
>toss champagne out of glass over shoulder
>eat a few flowers out of a vase

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PIC OF WALL NOW

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Soundless webms are bullshit

post your jizz wall bro

Gave a hobo some alcoholic mouthwash to drink, cleaned his breath and teeth and got him tipsy

Samefag

Better than soundless and shitty gifs.

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As long as you are not that CreepyThinMan dude you're alright. I hate that faggot.

>we live in a blue wave society

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#NotMyPresident

I did this all the time from 2010-2014. I'm retired now though

Fucking yikes

>a hooker sits next to me at a fast food place and offers me sex for cigarretes
>hug her and pretend that she's my gf for 5 minutes
Mom always told me that I should bring joy to the world.

FUCK OFF BLUMPF

seething amerifat. Can you even reach for your dollars with all the butter on your fingers? lmao

Who's teeth are scarier here?

This post describes most people here.

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What don't you understand? I talk to myself because it's been close to a decade since I've had friends, so whenever I get in a "tough" situaton, I get anxious. When I'm alone or faced with strangers, I put on my resting bitch face, stand uptight and walk with my arms behind my back. When I am faced with a lot of people my age coming at me, talking, or having fun, I kinda lose it. I also tend to try and fit through tight spaces instead of going through a more "open" routes. Meaning I pass through the space between two people talking instead of saying sorry and allowing them to take a step back. Or I pass through parked motorcycles and cars, instead of making my way around them. I also have a thing for walking backwards, doing spins, "tapdancing" when standing still... Also when I talk to myself I do it in English, but I live in South Europe, so... And I wear some makeup to hide an acne scar or two; at least until I get some minor plastic surgery. I've been banging my head at walls or books since I was a kid. Whenever I got less than perfect on a test, I'd smash my head right then and there on my desk.

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ok. this is epic

What's it like being a neet there

Based and Pessoapilled

Guys head is shaped like a motocross helmet.

Completly damaged

>do drugs stay up alone for days on end
>need to buy more
>super anxious and paranoid at dealer's house
>slowly ease up and decide a little human company would be fine
>last 5 minutes before the banality of evil sends me packing
>realize that human contact involves contact with inhumanity

Not just crazy eyes but also crazy teeth.

This but unironically

Lol

>Beggar ask me for money
>Me: -Sorry, I only have small cents
>Him: -A dime's a dime, son
>I litteray open my wallet and empty like 20 small coins in his hand
> Him -Thanks
> Me: -Have a nice day

I'm so anxious I feel bad when I give small coins to beggars... I feel like I'm insulting them by being cheap… I need help.

>read movie theatre high
>think this is a high school that's also a movie theater

Schizo

god bless you and your Joe tweet

I just tell them to fuck off

if it's any comfort, it's been demonstrated time and time again that Yea Forums meetups are ALWAYS cringe, always. The reality is that half of the people will meme too hard and make you feel ashamed for ever thinking those memes were funny, and the other half will be wallflower robots that, like you, are too autistic to engage and have a normal conversation with anyone.

Ignatius J. Reilly

#NotMyPresident

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About half of these (You)s are actually me. A quarter of these (You)ed me because I drew attention to this post with my (You)s. The last quarter are organic (You)s. Yea Forums is ok with this.

Put me in the screencap

>cross-eyed drunk at 4am
>some shitty horror movie is on in the background
>throw in a fat lip of dip
>browse some dumb frog-poster thread laughing at the silly pepes
>read a great greentext thread and absolutely lose it
>realize I wrote it 3 hours ago and I'm just laughing at my own jokes

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I smoke cigarettes.

Trailer really disappointed me.

vocaroo.com/i/s0f4zZG2JVyd

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post wall

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I think the Joker has officially entered the thread.

cringe as fuck

Brazilian here. Gib sopa or I repot u.

>society told me smoking will kill me
>exactly

Those that can pass, do. Those that can't pass, teach.

> Wash the dish
> Think I'm alone, feel safe
> Start singing some loves song that goes like "My heart rest at the bottom of a rose bush, at the bottom of a rose bush rest my heart"
> Roomate (girl): "Hey nice voice, user'"
> Jump scare, I drop the plate I was washing, it breaks on the floor
> I take a step back, my arm hit the pile of plates I just washed
> Most of the pile drop on the floor and break themselves
> She can't stop laughing and turn red from all the laughing
> I'm so embarrassed I want to kill myself
Plus
> I'm in love with her and she sleep with a different guy every week
> I offer coffee and breakfasts to those dudes in the morning because they're her guest and I don't want to be rude, and they tend to be nice and polite too
> Don't feel any anger, lie in bed watch the roof and fall into melancholia wish I was handsome and had some charisma instead of being a goofy, clumsy, anxious 30 years old virgin
> The only good point is that she follow me from time to time when I wander to nowhere, except it crush my soul furthermore

Spilling the dish instead of my spaghetti.

Unironically do this as well. Based and honestpilled.

I feel bad if I do that. One week ago I lied to a hobbo, I said I had no cash and I felt bad during the whole afternoon because I had some cash and that guy needed help.

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There's a fortnite burger?

Don’t beat yourself up over it user, we all have our tics
I’d recommend you try and get some friends, if you’re at uni clubs are a great way to start, and get used to being around people in a friendly environment. In general people are friendly and don’t want to be mean, especially on an individual level. If you’re into politics, political clubs especially are great for making friends, after that hobbies and interest stuff is good. Drinking is a great way to keep the edge off and make yourself a little more chill but don’t take it too far, any more than strong tipsy and you risk saying dumb shit. You can make great friends with guys by being honest, doing stuff (especially by showing genuine interest, not showing off but just demonstrating passion for something), and general bro stuff. You can be friends with girls by just listening to them and showing interest, or at least curiosity, in what they like.

I was a weirdo in middle/high school but seriously turned it around at uni and have a pretty large and varied friend group now
But of course end of the day just find a real fren you can be honest with. My brother is also a sperg that’s here forever and 90% of the time I’d prefer to chill with him playing vidya and shit than obsess over friend groups. Quality over quantity, but don’t forget quantity is a quality in itself. Make friends of good, honest people that won’t betray or dramatize and you’ll be happy

Thanks user'

Your pocket change isn't going to change his life user.

based

All the replies to this post are me, btw

>be me
>have to get to some place
>run there

Wtf is a kintorium?

kek, based

is the spin-off worth watching?

>offer coffee and breakfasts to those dudes in the morning
user, you're probably to good for her

>Replying in this thread
SOMEBODY STOP ME!

Don’t be a cuck and offer than breakfast, coffee maybe but that’s it
Also hit the gym nigga if you wanna get the girl you gotta be the guy

It’s harsh advice but do it and you’ll be happy, get /fit/ and tell her how you feel dog, or if you end up thinking she’s a thot and not worth it then that’s all the better for having her as a roommate. Take the reigns man, you can do it
Be Batman not the joker

How the FUCK am I supposed to view your dumb autistic web ems from my Apple smartphone?

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>person asks if I work at the same place they do because I look familiar
>I don't have a job
>tell them I work there anyway
>have a fake conversation about a job I don't have with co workers I'm making up on the fly
>"hey maybe I'll see you around the office"
YOU TOOK ME BY SURPRISE I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT YOU WERE LAUGHING

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>post on reddit
>call people on Yea Forums redditors
SOMEBODY STOP ME

Can change his day tho.

so this is the one person that is Yea Forums?
also put me in the screencap

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fuck off subhuman

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He's just going to buy booze.

Stop replying to yourself user, you need to break out of this madness

The Batman is the Joker. Except the fear doesn't garner respect and the the spoils of a job well done is a thankless public.

literally me except I don't watch movies

>I found some faggot who's almost as autistic as me at uni
>we're best frens

it's kino anons but why am I still a fuckup

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I know and then piss on the wall.

Woah

where's /ourguy/ Brenton?

Based user transcending in the sea of my own shitposting.

that's the life

Epic for the win Yea Forums! I love frogs and I love clowns so I can say that this is a great synthesis!

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>I love frogs and I love clowns so I can say that this is a great synthesis!
this but unironically

I have my own little game, too. Sometimes I start a meme and see if it catches on. Rule is, I can only post it once. Natural selection takes care of the rest. My memes are currently active on 6 boards and some are considered classics. I take pride in knowing that somewhere, someone, laughed at them.

If only someone could make me laugh.

>Often times when I'm online and in my peak posting hours, the catalog will be almost all me.
I want to believe?

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here's what's really going to bake your noodle though
you're not the only one

Sao Tome & Principe loves you sir !

I ask them for money in return, tell them Im broke as well and act like I dont have two full bags of groceries in my hands.

Truly based

I don't get what's so special. There are tons of people that do this now and have been for years. They aren't ascended Yea Forums gods, they just are, for better or worse.

Ok this is epic

>if you’re at uni clubs are a great way to start
I'm in my 3rd year, going to my 4th. Stuff happened, and I'm 10+ classes behind. And on top of that, Unis here aren't structured that way. There is a "campus" with just the buildings. And when you get into Uni, you don't get into the Uni itself, but into a single department. And you have a predetermined curriculum and stuff. Students live in the city, which is about half an hour away, at best. "Uni Clubs" exist in random spots all over the city.
>In general people are friendly and don’t want to be mean, especially on an individual level.
I guess. I just don't see what I have to offer to someone.
>If you’re into politics, political clubs especially are great for making friends,
There are only two Fraction Clubs. Think of it as signing up as Pro-Trump or Pro-Commies.
>Drinking
I've been drinking alone everyday for years now. It doesn't get to me anymore.
>You can make great friends with guys by being honest
All my male friends betrayed me at some point. All 20 of them, from various places and periods, just stabbed me in the back.
>You can be friends with girls by just listening to them and showing interest, or at least curiosity, in what they like.
My best friend was a girl. 2 years older than me.I haven't heard from her in over 7 years.
>I was a weirdo in middle/high school but seriously turned it around at uni and have a pretty large and varied friend group now
Not everyone gets a happy ending.
>Make friends of good, honest people that won’t betray or dramatize and you’ll be happy
Cliques are too ingrained at this point. And I have nothing to offer, so...
Wanna talk about it? What's she look like?

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>gf cheats on me
>Invite her gay friend home
>fuck him raw
>cum on his ass
>now we dating
DDDDDAMAGED Hhahahahahaha
this is true btw [spoiler/]

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based as fuck

You're the one with a burrito in his backpack