Times you were the joker

nice man i do that too

>vocaroo.com/i/s1xPFx7B9clF

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>self checkout says 15 items max
>go through with 16

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOOOOOOOOR

>get approached by a smoker
>"hey man got a light?"
>"yeah no problem!"
>pretend to look for a light, taking an insane amount of time
>"sorry man, i must've forgotten it"
>i don't even smoke, i have asthma

WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

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pure madness and evil

>setting up my towel at the beach
>make sure to flop it on to the ground so sand sprays all over the normalfags

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>exclusively date deaf girls
>constantly yell shit at them in Public

>some guy has autism
>he tries to draw a picture and posts it in his hugbox cancer general
>insult him and make fun of him so he breaks down in tears
>steal the picture
>post it later as my own expressionist art
>receive praise and acclaim

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>get a sandwich from subway
>place my own hair in it
>take it back to the cash register and show them the hair
>get a refund

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MAYBE I'M FOOLISH

now this is what I call... CRAZY

I'm genuinely going to do this one

>be at bus stop
>hail bus to stop
>didn't enter

>walk up to a black person
>call it the m word
>see it get visibly confused because it didn't know there was an m word
>run away before it realizes what just happened

>get chocolate bar
>ask cashier to triple bag it
heh I make myself smile

Yea, im thinking hes based

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>on bus
>press stop at every bus stop but never go off to hurt the economy and SOCIETY we live in

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>open up Simpson's thread
>post about the actual show
>don't mention Sneed at all
>don't even mention Chuck

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How is it possible that he looks like he's been shopped in?

>no epic battles or CGI of any kind in the trailer
guaranteed flop

He fights society

reminds me of this scene

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They used to make movies like this back in the 70's. This will be the Dog Day Afternoon or Straw Dogs of our generation.

Well memed fren

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fucking based

>pee in one-room public bathroom
>leave the toilet seat up

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>hand in a paper 2 days late
>tell my proff my grandmother died
>both my grandmas are alive and healthy
Got an A bros

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>post about hating incel neets and give advice like pulling yourself up by your bootstraps
>call people creepy basement dwelling virgins
>i've never had a job or seen a vagina

you think that's funny?

>make fun of manlets constantly
>i'm 5'4

Nobody panics when things go according to plan. Not until I take off my mask. Introduce a little anarchy.

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or Taxi Driver

Or Death Wish

Lock him up!

>get into argument on Yea Forums
>wait until thread hits bump limit and page 10
>post rebuttal

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>go on Yea Forums
>shitpost in every thread even though I don't know anything about sports and haven't watched a game in decades

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>try to commit suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning
>light the charcoal outside
>someone calls the cops and I get put into an ambulance
>can only think of the "Curb Your Enthusiasm" theme song while on the way to the psych ward and burst out in laughter
unironically happened

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One...

I just go there to dab on jannies, whoever cleans that board for free is seriously autistic

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and for proof this is the place they took me

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Feel better user, things always get better

>go to the bathroom without asking the teacher
IM NOT PART OF YOUR SOCIETY

this looks really good desu

Thats funny but dont kill yourself bro

>drive an old beat up Ford
>drive around farms known to hire illegal immigrants
>purposely crash into an illegal while no one is looking
>threaten to call ICE unless they pay for my silence
>crying sobbing about how they have kids to feed in Spanish
>don't care
>earn $500 everytime I crash into one of them, tax free

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kek

yeah but bruce willis (a conservative) remade that already in 2018

I used to work for a home construction service and I did door to door sales for a while. in this one rich neighborhood (it was a weekday around noon) every person who answered the door was a mexican cleaning lady and i bet most were illegal. only at the end of the day I thought to myself "man, I should I have told them I was ICE and told them to pay up if they want me to shut up"

post body pls

>mfw imagining someone dressed like a clown while doing this

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thanks for reminding me, I still need to watch it

S U P E R K I N O

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>don't take care of myself at all
>never cut toenails
>get athlete's foot, fungus
>toes rot off
>wear open toed shoes to gala event
>get photographed on the red carpet
>make sure they get my toes
>know how much this upsets incels
>don't care

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it's pretty fun. i remember liberals grumbling when it came out. it "triggered" them har har har

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Yeah they really seem to dislike the combination of 'masculinity' with 'white male'

No, they don't.

they also dislike the idea that lawless thugs get what's coming to them. in their degeneracy, liberals side with the perpetrators and are consistently apologists for their criminality. hence their intense hatred for law and order and the police and military, etc

Oompf

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classic

>Friend tells me his father is dead
>Was still a teenager and had lost my dad too but some years ago, was very shy about this
>Burst out of laughter
>Friends asks wtf is wrong with me and never talks to me again for a whole month
>Never told him why I reacted like that

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breddy good.

Based

Damn

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STOP THAT CLOWN

>download torrent
>immediately close client to stop seeding
SOMEBODY STOP ME

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>make kissy face to girl at party
>she comes in for the kiss
>sneeze in her face
>don't laugh just walk backward out of the room not breaking eye contact with her

>be in 4th grade
>wait for 20mins in line at the cafeteria
>it's finally my turn to order
>get a waffle
>proceed to throw it in the trash for everyone to see
>walk away as if nothing had happened

I've also pulled a similar trick later on, but I didn't order anything

They sometimes do though. Just brief moments.

Sounds like something a redditfag would do

Reminder that shitposters get the rope too.

>someone asks me how I'm doing
> say I'm doing fine
>I'm not fine at all

>tfw i almost did this last year but didn't have the guts to turn the ignition in my car

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What's a psych ward like user?

i'm doing this for 17 years straight.

the japanese nurses tittyfuck me while giving a sponge bath

Being a little pussy afraid of the cops is the opposite of Joker.

tell us a story bro. I cherished others suffering

>wife wants to have sex
>go to sleep at 7:00 PM instead

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im not afraid of cops, im afraid of chinese spyware

beta as fuck

>working as a street sign guy because I need to make cash for my sick mother
>gang of kids smacks sign out of my hands and runs away with it
>kinda annoyed but they’re just kids, I’ll chase after them and play along and they might give it back to me
>one of them smacks me right in the face with it in an alleyway, it splinters, my nose is broken
>lie on the floor in shock, shivering, how can these kids be so violent... I thought we live.. we lived in a society...
CRRRRAAAAWWWWLLLIINNG IIINN MY SSSKKKIIIIINNNN

I was in a small ward. You just sit in your room or the shared space all day, and occasionally nurses come to chat with you or psychiatrists come and bring you into a room and ask questions. And they put you on meds and give you meds to sleep.
picrelated, basically all the things you can do

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>play card game with expensive cards
>whenever I get the chance tap really hard with my fingernail on an opponents expensive cards to leave a mark and lower its value
I DON'T WANNA BE

>toilet is broken
>piss in the sink

S O C I E T Y

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That sounds awful. Maybe it isn't, but it seems the way extreme mental health patients are treated is very primitive.
>Lock 'em in a room & drug 'em, get them to talk in a circle jerk of crazies for 2 weeks and they'll be good to go!

>girl says good morning to me in work
>watch her all day
>follow her everywhere at a distance
>goes on for days
>stay until everyone is gone that night
>swap chairs with her's
>it's almost like sex

I CAN FEEL ST ELMO'S FIRE BURNIN' IN MEEEEE

I've been doing this for eight years but my toilet isn't broken.

>Enter civil thread on Yea Forums
>False flag as console fan boy from literally all sides
>Leave thread

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>need to be awake by 6
>set alarm for 6:05
ARE YOU
SICK LIKE
MEEEEE

>History professor has some petty rivalry with some guy over twitter
>Says in class that he's looking for interns
>Volunteer along with 3 other guys
>He wants us to gather shit on the twitter guy
>Instead I gather shit on my professor and send it the the twitter guy
>Shit is made public after some months and my professor loses his job
And to think he gave me an A kek

>need to be awake by 8:00
>set alarm for 10:00
>the stress about the alarm wakes me up at 6:00
[guitar instrumental]

literally me

>boss starts venting to me about his divorce and how much he hates his home life
>I zone out the entire time
>he starts getting louder and angrier with his voice
>finally stops yapping
>I look up at him and asks "do you wanna talk about it?"
>he starts shaking and his face starts turning red as a tomato

based

>at the cinema watching the force awakens
>shout to everyone when Kylo Ren first appears "HEY THAT'S THE GUY THAT KILLS HAN SOLO!"
>run away with people shouting at me
>tfw made normies feel that their ticket was wasted money

>get tittyfucked by male nurses
sign me up

I post Sneed in every single thread I visit.

>on /x/
>go to random thread and say "I believe"
>leave forever

sneed

How is this supposed to not make you wanna kill yourself?

Or is it to encourage you to do a better job next time?

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it's supposed to sell meds that make it even worse.

I'm honestly okay with them putting me there, in some shithole country I would have just died. at least there is some sort of system in place and I'm alive

>not actually saying "I don't smoke, I have asthma" after searching the light

wasted potential

>repeat for unlimited sandwichs

This is a N.E.E.T area. Keep walking boye

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I mean what sort of idiot outsources his dirt collecting?

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I hope you're doing better now user

DERANGED

>Take my cat for a routine check up at vet
>"We need some general information about your cat name, age etc"
>"Sure no problem. Mr Whiskers, 3..."
>My cat is named Oliver.

STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU

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>walk past barber shop
>see guy walk out just after getting haircut
>pretend to contain a chuckle

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>walk by elevator
>press the button
>don't go in

THE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAL

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>go to a mosque
>I'm not Muslim
>Magdump my ar-15 into everyone

I AM THE GOD OF SNEEDFIRE

that's pretty based

>go to school
>teacher asks for my homework
>tell her to shut the fuck up and call her a nigger
>she's white
SO MUCH TO DO SO MUCH TO SEE SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH TAKING THE BACKSTREETS

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you're 12, aren't you?

>be me at guitar group
>talking amongst people there
>most socially awkward because of autism
>some person is talking and we can't hear them
>make the observation that "she's quieter than my psychiatrist"
>get strange looks from everyone around me

D A M A G E D

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I am married and i do it too. For 12 years now.

Nope, I just live in a society

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unfunny society for sure

Kek

Yeah that’s based

>Me and my little nephew at granny's house
>I have a sweet candy
>asked him to try and lickmy peepee for that candy
>he actuallt does that
>I eat that candy myself

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>cashier asks if i would like a receipt
>say yes
>put it in the bin outside
ONE NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

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>can only think of the "Curb Your Enthusiasm" theme song while on the way to the psych ward and burst out in laughter

kek

>Makes posts about Yea Forums about how shit the Marvel movies are
>Watch all of them as soon as they're released

I'M BREAKING THE HABIT TONIGHT

Poisoned my neighboor's pitbull with a sausage filled with rat poison. Watched him barfing blood and grey stuff while smoking a good monte cristo. Tough motherfucker, he didn't even die and got up on his paws, had to strangle through the fence with a phone cable
He was an aggressive cunt, aways barking at people for no reason. Not that my poofta neighboor learned the lesson, now he's got a fucking dobermann.

Hey who gives a shit, another retarded dog, another poisoned sausage. This time I'm getting the dose right.

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>Be cashier, bitchy customer is pissing me off.
>They hand me a $100, I break it up and give them back their change.
>Short changed them by $20 and watched them leave.
>Quickly ring up next customers and take off small amounts off the orders that equal exactly $20.
>The bitchy costumer comes back pissed about their change being wrong, tell them I gave them back the correct change, they get madder and want to talk to a manager.
>Manager comes up to count the register, All looks normal and costumer looks like an asshole trying to "scam" us.
>Smile at costumer.

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this is very good.

That's based from me

>dated a black girl

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you'd have to actually be crazy

>talking with someone
>ask them to repeat because i didn't catch them
>ask them to repeat again, blame the noise outside
>ask them to repeat once more, scoot closer to hear them better
>smile and nod, making it obvious to them that i'm trying to salvage the situation by laughing it away
>now just be silent and smile at them

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Any incel on this board would be lucky to score a girl like that

>see a new film or tv show start trending on Yea Forums
>watch the trailer and read the wiki plot
>open up every single thread and start arguing with myself

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Highly contrasting colors between his clothes and his background make him look out of place. This artistic touch drives home the disconnect between Joker and the SOCIETY around him.

This. The more I fuel the incel mindset by pretending to be obe of them, the deeper in their own shit they'll descend. Meanwhile Stacy gets it every night

At least they didn't take your shoelaces

>at the Vans store in the mall browsing shoes
>the store clerk won't leave me alone, asking if I need a hand every 30 second after telling her no multiple times
>finally pretend I'm getting a call from my friend as she starts asking me again
>start pretend-talking and leave the store
I TRIED SO HARD BUT GOT SO FAR

>Guy adds me on Steam
>He wants to trade high tier stuff from my inventory
>Tell him let me think about it
>Keep him waiting for a solid month without ever actually caring
OOH WAH AH AH AH

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>ROE and force escalation dictates that I fire a warning shot at the vehicle approaching our convoy
>fire directly into the cab instead
ONE, NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

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I detoxed for a week at a psyche ward near an airport in the PNW, don't ever ever talk to staff, also we got no pamphlets or shit, they wouldn't even let us have pens without supervision

>late at night at a convenience store
>clerk asks me if I need a bag
>say yes
>step outside
>immediately throw the bag in the trash
>smile at her while never breaking eye contact

Thats not true

NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

>go to thread and post an honest opinion
>come back an hour later and accuse myself of being a shill

I'd laugh. But I also really like girls with soft voices.

>accuse every post I don’t like of being reddit
>actually came from reddit and still post there more than I do here

Based. Shitbulls and their whiskey tango owners can get fucked.

If you tell someone you're suicidal (had thoughts, not even attempts), how is locking you in a room and containing you for a couple of weeks without any freedom going to help?

>Chad that fucks on the reg

So you are lonely. It’s okay.

That’s actually kinda cool

Kek. You're gonna get beaten to death by a cholo eventually though

lmao

>be me
>waiting tables
>someone asks for salt shaker
>I give it to them
>they say "awesome"
>I say "how is that awesome?"

moms gonna freak

Brava!

>go on Yea Forums
>pretend to be a /pol/ fag
>call everyone a Nigger
>get banned

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cope

that's hilarious

classic tactic. always gotta go a little bit removed. you were really close though, grew up together even

>say "incel" on /pol/
>watch the meltdowns

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>open random thread
>"sure smells like incel in here"
>logout

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okay, this is honkpilled.

completely based

>get on bus
>scrawl “good morning wagies!” at the back, very visible down whole aisle
>I’m a wageslave and the only reason I was able to do it was because I’m usually the first on the bus at 6am sharp

>go on twitter
>find a tweet of some liberal saying dumb shit
>post it on Yea Forums
>200 replies

Very based, good sir.

I like this pasta

>argue with a girlfriend
>take all her clothes from her drawers and put them on the floor
>take her papers and tear them and leave them on the floor
>push her flowers from the window to the street

>guy ask me if I have a pen
>ask him if he has a cigarette
>he says he doesn't smoke
>reply that I don't write

based and clown world

Ever notice that no one ever smokes in Marlel movies? They don't smoke in the comics either.

>Watch YouTube video
>"Don't forget to subscribe if you liked the video"
>Bookmark the channel instead

Boys I just took a marvelous shit

>girl who sits next to me in class asks if I want to study with her for big test over the weekend
>say sure
>never show up
>study alone
>get 10 points higher than her when the test comes back
>make sure to keep my score displayed on my desk prominently the entire class

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Something very similar happened to me, but I set myself on fire after pouring gasoline on myself.

Some poor sod found me and called the ambulance, I was half-half awake and the only things I remember are the ambulance driver asking if my father (40 years older than me) was my concerned boyfriend, and my mother playing Firestarter in the hospital to make me laugh.

If anything she’s the Joker here, she laughed repeatedly as the nurse pleaded with her to turn it off.

Haha this is me right there

>go to (((college)))
>go to the single-toilet tranny bathroom
>take a massive shit and don't flush
Dilate that

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Back in the 90s, I was a script kiddie. Do they still have script kiddies?

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>go in a joker thread
>get triggered by madlads

CRAWLINNNG IN MY SKIN

>orbiting mega-stacy
>she gets drunk one night and texts me how drunk she is and that if there was anything I ever wanted to ask her now is the time
>ask her "What dat mouf do?"
>she never talks to me again

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How are those in any way related?

>job interview
>"How would you describe yourself user."
>"I'm an idea..."
>"Could you elaborate on that?"
>"No"
>Get up and walk out

fucking based

lol

>see a thread that stays on topic and features good discussion on page 10
>make a cunnypost
AAALLLLLL NIGHT I WANT THE YOUNG AMERICAN

APPREHEND THIS MAN

>dabbing on trannies AND jannies
Holy fuck...

Has a nice ASMR quality.

This is honestly genius. If half the men on earth become incels and women get conditioned to hate incels, the only ones to benefit would be the regular guys on Earth. As long as your even semi-normal, then you're pretty much guaranteed pussy on the virtue of not being an incel.

BASED

>enter literally any thread
>false flag argument about euros v. americans
>goad everyone just enough to derail thread
>sign out of Yea Forums

Suppose I’m a regular guy in almost every respect but I’m so ugly that I’ve been turned down by literal prostitutes?

Post body you pussy

Dare I say BASED?

>work tells me to be tolerant toward transsexual co-workers
>secretly hate them and think up bad names for them in my head
SOMEBODY STOP ME

Clownpilled

I do this except I'm a woman (ugly)

>waking down road
>car pulls up
>asks for directions
>give him wrong directions

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That’s pretty bad. When I was 15 I tried to hang myself from a ceiling fan. Everyone in the family thought it was pretty funny except my dad who was super pissed about having to install a new light fixture and repaint the ceiling.
Still not as bad as my cousin who attempted suicide by throwing himself off the roof of his ranch style house.

this is actually worse than it sounds though.

the women wouldnt be fucking you or with you because they like you. they would be with you because they have no other choice.

you could call me a retard or an incel, but i would rather be alone than be with someone who is only with me because they have to. constantly enduring their passive aggressive micro-expressions, and barely hiding their condescension. always keeping at the line of just being enough of a bitch to leave you in a permanent bad mood, but always backing off when you start to actually threaten to leave them, like some permanent pussy purgatory

Based

Nice

absolutely based

Redpilled

>unironically calling people 'incels'
>on Yea Forums

Is it completely impossible to be patronizing to women and still get to fuck them in America? Because it’s very possible in my country.

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>making a sandwich
>opening a new pack of cheese
>little tab saying "peel & seal"
>cut open the pack with a scissors
I'M A BITCH I'M A LOVER I'M A CHILD I'M A MOTHER

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How did Elizabeth Warren mess up? I thought she was just generally incompetent and a laughing stock

>Gf had just dumped me
>Had shitty job I hated
>Got our of worked by faking wanting to kill myself (although deep down I kind of wanted to an hero)
>Thought I would just be in the psych ward for an hour and explain the situation
>Kept me there for 2 days
>Horrible experience but got out of work

>be unemployed
>have months of benefits that cover most expenses
>only requirement to get them is to be job searching
>never submit a single application
>always say I do on the bi-weekly survey
I'M JUST A SUCKER FOR PAIN

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God bless you user. You have much laughter to provide to the world. Don’t give up!

Absolutely fucking based, please be real

>going to porn school
>get aids
tough break kid, here's a peppermint

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>notice that the squirrels in the attic have completely chewed through the ceiling and realize they can see me at anytime
>jerk off anyway

HER NAME WAS LOLA SHE WAS A SHOWGIRL BUT THAT WAS THIRTY YEARS AGO WHEN THEY USED TO HAVE A SHOW

Only two days? You must have real shitty insurance.

Sorry to hear it user, hope you’re not perminantly fucked up neck damage can be pretty serious. Same for the cousin.

I’m perma-disfigured, face is ironically scarred downwards into a frown, and I’m missing my toes/half my leg. Mother still makes jokes about it to this day, to the point she bought me a burning man shirt, etc.

I assume it’s how she deals with the trauma but holy fuck does she really not let me suffer in silence.

Any time my dad got off the elevator he would press all the buttons for all the floors before he got off. One time he does this in a really tall building. Like a 20 floorer. We get off on the ground floor and a guy gets on after us. You can hear hin scream shit as we exit the building.

Good thread idea by the way.

Based and warcrime-pilled

What does being straight have to do with either of those things?

It was because I didn’t want to stay there so I acted like I was fine and they let me go

>I set myself on fire after pouring gasoline on myself
That's the most retardedly painful and stupid way to kys. What were you thinking?

The joker is a fictional character.

What did he say?

I wasn’t thinking at all, I just thought I was a bad person and that I needed to suffer and die. I also thought it would make sure people didn’t have to see a gross corpse when they found me. Didn’t work out, clearly.

It was over 12 years ago. Believe me, I realise I’m a fucking retard, or I wouldn’t be laughing about it here.

>be first post
>call OP a nigger and leave the thread
Nigger

Praying you’re in a better place, user. Remember there are plenty of chicks out there who dig scars. Give your mother a hug for us.

based

Absolutely based

Mega honk!

>new spic
>larp as a white supremacist and shitpost in /int/
>go to /pol/ and larp as commie black guy who only wants to take revenge on slavery
MOM'S GONNA FREAK

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>having a gf

Based and honkpilled

>in college
>its friday, also valentines day
>have test
>roastie jumps in front of train on way to class
>gonna be late
>text friend to tell the teacher what just happened because i will probably be late
>firemen take 15 minutes to scrap roastie off of tracks
>end up being late
>5 other classmates (that ive never spoken a word to in my life) were also late
>teacher says its ok we can take the test later and go talk to a counselor now because we experienced a traumatic event
>"i already studied for this and if i have to take the test on monday im probably not going to take advantage of the extra time to study and will end up getting a worse grade because youll make the test harder due to the extra study time"
>5 normies begrudgingly agree to take test today
>i get an A
>they dont

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also cheated her like 5 times and made out with random girls in the clubs

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this gets me everytime

>order a Coney Island style hotdog
>ask for ketchup

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>go into Yea Forums thread
>post a image that isn't a joker
>banepost
It would be extremely baneful

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go onto 4plebs and find out.

Hey, every Joker needs a Tragedian, you could become a super serious crime-fighter and beat the shit out of local hoods.

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based

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>have asthma
>smoke 20 marlboro every day

OOPS UPSIDE YOUR HEAD!

>argue with a girlfriend
>quickly take a handful of toilet water and throw it in her face
>it goes into her mouth

IF YOU’RE 555

were there any cute crazy girls in there too

see you, space cowboy

>walk to the beach (which is only a few minutes away from my house) naked late at night
>masturbate
>walk back home without anyone noticing me

PAPU PAPE

fiendish

smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide

Kek. I hope you’re being honest.

timestamp or it's fake

Don't care about the law they can't do anything to me here besides send a threatening letter every year or so. I just don't care about the well being of the community so I don't waste my unlimited bandwidth making sure they have a better download experience. I also fake my ratio on private trackers that enforce seeding.

>eventually befriend him and play games with him
>pretend that it had nothing to do with trading

>solve captcha
>need to select all traffic lights
>select cars instead
>it accepts
later find out about some new autopilot car incident

>take out a usb drive without ejecting it
SOMEBODY STOP ME

>vocaroo.com/i/s1xPFx7B9clF
Based and pagliaccipilled

All the replies to this post are like a Nolan movie
Some incel larps about being a Chad larping as an incel, and other incels larp as chads that larp as incels
You can't make this shit up

>He doesn’t have a Yea Forums pass
Have sex

Show us your scarring user. How bad was it and how well did it heal over 12 years?

>argue with gf
>kiss her in the mouth every time she's about to respond so she can't beat my arguments
HAHAHAHA SOMEBODY STOP ME

This desu baiting incels is as fun as baiting autists like Chris-chan

>get put on a team with a girl for group work
>she seems interested in me and asks if she can study with me sometime
>say "uhh sure"
>she never shows up to that class ever again
GOT ME AGAIN HAHA!

>see argentine flag on a board i don't ever visit
>everyones speaking spanish
>post the word "falklands"
>everyone is now speaking english, thread derailed

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Basado

Lies

I’m pretty identifiable by my scarring as I’m touted about to do talks and shit about it.

It’s healed decent. They took skin from my back and that’s healed, my missing toes just look like a stump, and the skin graft just looks mottled. It used to be bright red and now it’s paler then my normal skin.

Healed pretty decently considering. Only things that hurt now is cold weather and smiling, whereas 8 years ago I couldn’t walk.

This is why when you're going to the doctor about depression, you don't tell them you're harming yourself or are near suicidal. My brother did this, and the doc practically called the police on him and took him to be held for 24 hours in a ward.

>Go to prom in Boston
>Wait for crowd to get compact
>Slap random girl’s ass while they aren’t looking
>Blend in with the crowd
>Never caughter
Also here is a cute and funny clown

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Based

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>see argument between two people in thread
>wait for one of them to post
>immediately reply with a shitty argument falseflagging as the other guy
>make another post calling them both samefags
>logout of Yea Forums
>delete Yea Forums account

>in 5th grade, at my end of the year baseball party at the local pizza joint
>peel the bathroom signs off the wall and swap them
>for 10 minutes all the kids watch and laugh as people walk in and out embarrassed
>get bored and eventually walk up to the front counter and tell the owner (Obese hothead, every time I’ve been there he’s always yelling at some kid for something) that the kids over there swapped the bathroom signs
>he storms over there, yells at the kids, and starts berating parents about how they need to watch their kids better
>mfw

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fucking based

samefag

Here is a phone poster

>have a dog
>constantly ask him "Who's a good boy?" and never giving him an answer
Sometimes when I play with him I merely pretend to throw the ball and then tell him to find it.

Damn so you really soaked yourself with that gas eh? Well I'm glad you've made such a recovery and that you seem to be at peace. And props for using your experience to help others, you're a better man than I for it.

>a scissors
MAD MAN

based radical centrist

>I’m perma-disfigured, face is ironically scarred downwards into a frown
Please be a supervillain or superhero. It's your destiny.

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>want gf and sex
>go to bar
>sit at a table
>do nothing but browse Yea Forums on mobile phone

D E R A N G E D

Sounds like Flashpoint Martha.

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Basado

>be me, mainline protestant Christian
>Wear magic underwear despite not being Mormon
>Wear a Saint Christopher medallion and cross myself despite not being Catholic
(Seinfeld theme starts playing)

They do, but it might take some effort and about 10 years. I'd still recommend sticking it out.

Based and celebritypilled

Is this movie actually gonna be kino? May be the first movie I've seen in a decade

Lel

Its called color theory user

Absolutely based and badd ass

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>tried to hang myself
>get caught
>everyone assumes I was just trying autoerotic asphyxiation because I'm "that guy" in the friend group
>let them believe it for years until I have a meltdown & go off on everyone for being bad friends
BROTHERS IN THE DARK
FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE

I spent my whole childhood wanting to be an air traffic controller, got chronically ill, and now I can't.

Had a friend who had this happen. Went and got a different degree, then killed himself after not being able to get a job.
Are you laughing yet?

>go to theater to watch Captain Marvel
>dyke lesbian couple behind me won't stop talking
>tell them to please quiet down
>they just stare at me angrily and don't even respond back but at least they shut up for the rest of the movie
ARE YOU FEELING EMPOWERED, TRANNY??
HONK HONK

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the newspaper man from spider guy smokes a cigar

BASED

Based and honkpilled

Based

Based. I hate that lots of place in America are doing this nowadays. I fucking hate this country

>kinoplex reminds me before every feature film to turn off my phone
>take a picture of just that warning, using my phone

I’M JUST A POOR BOY NOBODY LOVES ME

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Leave then, incel. No one will miss you

You first, discord tranny.

>at party in highschool
>first (& last)time I ever got invited to a party
>big crowd gathers around for something
>use it to my advantage & grope some girl's ass
>really get in there, pretty much finger her asshole
>flip hood up & blend into crowd ala assassin's creed
>start pushing people out of the way while walking because I'm getting too into being an assassin
>girl knew it was me & picked me out from the crowd easily because of what I was doing
>get beat up by her boyfriend & thrown out
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU

based chad

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>cashier tells me to have a good day
>don't
Who else /devilish/?

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*we live in AN economy

Commies get the bullet first, purely for their piss-poor grammar.

limmypilled

>pitbull
Whew, fucking got me for a second.
You're alright user.

>I’m perma-disfigured, face is ironically scarred downwards into a frown
jokers archnemesis: the frowner

can you imagine haha