Confess your actual sins

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Honor your neighbor as you would yourself. However, this should not be a matter of sufficient gravity to require a absolvement from your priest.

I stay with my wife out of convenience.

I watch kino on my laptop and still call myself a cinephile.

If that's the Ken Burns Vietnam War documentary then watch that.
Not as good as The Civil War documentary, or The West, or Baseball, or the National Parks one, but still a fantastic documentary series

I report waifu threads. I don’t believe it is a sin.

I masturbated to two anime futa gang-raping a loli tonight

Attempt to mend your relationship with your wife. Do you have children? If so, remember that they depend upon your union.

She's just getting fatter and unwilling to diet or exercise. I have no desire to even touch her anymore.

I don't consciously care for capeshit but it makes up the majority of my cinema visits.

One time I went into my friend's sister's room and picked up some of her dirty panties off the floor. Then I put them in my mouth, went to their bathroom and jerked off but didn't cum. She's not even that hot.

I'm pretty sure 90% of the people on here exclusively watch films on their laptops. Not me tho. I'm not a pleb.

If you are finding it difficult to be intimate with your wife, would you consider a vow of celibacy to bring yourself closer to God?

I masturbate to gay porn and have often come close to meeting a random stranger for sex.

I hate Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders and Barack Obama.

I stole a stuffed animal from a claw machine at the movie theater when I was 6.

I'm unironically very excited for Endgame and Joker, and I really liked The Dark Knight Rises

I have bought hookers on multiple occasions

"sinning" isn't real retards

>a absolvement

Seek forgiveness and absolvement from your priest. Incestual lust is one of the most taboo sins, both in the eyes of God and of man.

I was at Petsmart and a female employee was standing on a stepladder, and her ass was right at my head level. I pretended to be checking something out by her, and when she was busy I leaned in and took a deep inhale about an inch from her ass/thighs

you sure about that?

It was the sister of my friend, not my own sister. I don't even have one.

The Architect looks down upon you.

Father I can’t,
I’m a Quaker

Though this is pretty funny, it's still Lust. Remember that we must not covet what is not ours.

I was born

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Not a day goes by that I don't think about having my mouth permanently attached to Ezra Miller's asshole

Oops, misread that. Lust is one of the most common vices found in men, so a simple prayer offering your repentance should suffice.

Learn to read, my father, he said his friend's sister.

Imagine getting this upset over a traditionally religious term

t.satan

>reads Max Stirner once

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i ate 5000 calories of peanut butter

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If you think yourself greater than God, then you are guilty of Pride, the worst of all venial sins. Repent, my son, or you may find yourself committing mortal sin.

In one sitting?

I thought Taxi Driver was pretty overrated desu

yes i feel so sick right now

Gluttony, my friend. Try to cut back on the sweets.

You ate over 3 cups of peanut butter!??

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>smooth

chunky or nothing

I stalked a Stacy who gave me a few eye contacts with a fake cute girl instagram account and told an online friend about it when I had chronic insomnia. The fucker doxxed me then ghosted me. Don't know what he told her, turned out the chick was even more into me after that but I kept rejecting her to avoid the explanations on how gay that all story sounded like.
Embarassing stuff.

I'm incredibly lazy

I never had sex.

Just don't make a habit out of it and you should be fine.
It's not like you'll gain 20lbs overnight, you're gonna shit most of that out

I'm married but regularly fuck transexuals on the side.

Nothing turns me on more than constructed femininity.

Sometimes when I fuck my wife I can only get hard imagining her as a shemale.

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I sit when i pee

what causes you to feel like shit after jacking off and then deleting everything, only to redownload later that day?

Is it a sin to have a waifu?
And I don't mean the meme definition. I mean I am actually deeply in love with a 2d character.

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Disgust or shame, probably more disgust in your case.
Try nofap, after trying a few times, you'll come to a point where you don't even think about jerking off.

That's fine, it's been proven to be good for your prostate and possibly circulation too.

It's a sin to be a faggot, user.

occasionally I masturbate to the thought of the girl I had a one night stand with last year and got too attached to. inevitably I end up looking through her twitter again, desperate for any sort of sign that would indicate that she misses me as much as I miss her. I did it hours ago, I know it's awful for my headspace, it makes me feel awful, yet I'll probably do it again before the month is over.

I guess that makes you the biggest sinner in the world then :^)

I think that The Joker looks awful, but I have been shit posting about how kino it is

It's not that bad user, a crazy chick used to post cringe subliminal messages for me on her social medias, it was the biggest turn-off I had ever seen.
Maybe, she liked you but still was a well-ajusted person. Why don't you try to contact her like a normal person?

your brain locks on forever to the girl you were first intimate with

they should really teach people that

6. God is Evil.

To intentionally create plague, cancer, death and do nothing while millions suffer is evil.
To intentionally create Satan and allow him to exist is evil.
To intentionally punish human beings for imperfections they were created with is evil.
To force/frighten/torture/threaten humans into eternal servitude and ego worship or face annihilation, is evil.
One must take accountability for the totality of creation, all evils included.

7. God is the true Evil, Satan is a revolutionary who tried to save us and now exists in torment as a scapegoat for God's sadism and ego.

8. Oblivion and non-existence is a nobler choice than serving an eternal ego sadist god in an ethereal plain built on suffering and death.

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I only sin to fuck your little weeb butt though.

the final redpill

That's pretty gay

"Have you seen my daughter?"
He was a beast of a man, half a foot taller than me and much wider. Bearded, wearing a scruffy entangled mess of facial hair that wrapped around his drunken smile. White teeth glistened under the streetlight, far too wet with liquor and spit. We stood facing each other, standing just at the entrance to an alleyway. He looked down into the darkness, but seemed hesitant to enter.
"Bout so high," he said, holding his hand at waist level. "Braided hair. She had to come through here."
Though he held one hand open at his waist, the other hand was closed around a belt that he'd rolled up. The gold buckle dangled down by his knee.
I'd seen this play out before. Thousands of times. It's the classic test. Do you think you know more than God? He said never lie, but this seems different. This seems like an exception to the rule. The lumbering, drunken man in front of you. The pale little girl with a swollen cheek who came running up to you, hands balled up into fists, switching from foot to foot like she had something to say but had not the voice to say it. Like an awkward little dance would explain it all, and you'd pick her up and go running into the night to deliver her to the kind of life she always hoped for. One after the other. The innocent, and then the guilty. The guilty asks you to hand him the innocent.
And God compels you to do so.
"Are you really her dad?" I asked.
"Fuck do you mean?"
I was only stalling. It's not a chess move, really, putting someone in this situation. God was never a strategist. In fact his smartest move was stop interfering so directly with the humans. No, this was more along the lines of a trick question. My favorite kind of question. Just to answer is to be incorrect.
"I mean is it really your daughter you're looking for, or is she something else?"

for u

I cut all contact with my estranged mother, not because I hate her. I'm ashamed of my self and I would rather have her think I hate her than for her to know what a failure her son became.

His lips curled into a snarl and his shoulders rose slowly. "Look, buddy. I assume by the way you talk, you've seen my little girl. Now you gonna tell me which way she went, or is this gonna end badly?"
"It'll always end badly. With you people, I swear." I slipped my hands into my pockets. "It starts bad and ends worse with you people."
"You people?"
"What is a daughter?"
"What?"
"A daughter. Is it just a girl you give birth to? Are you her father by technicality? Or do you have to work a little harder than that?"
"Fuck off." He made a point of pushing past me, throwing his heavy hand against my shoulder so that I would stumble aside and clear the way for him. As he walked off, he shouted back, "You're lucky I'm looking for my little girl."
"Or what?" I called after him. "I've seen a little girl."
He stopped and turned quickly to stare me down.
"Where?"
"She's not your daughter."
"How do you know?"
"She's not your daughter."
"Fuck this!" He dropped the belt and ran over to me, in one swift motion grabbing the front of my shirt and throwing me up against the wall. Violence is never as exciting or cool as it looks in the movies. It's brutal and quick and alarmingly unsexy. The fear strikes you like a sour taste at the back of your tongue. Even as an immortal you feel it stirring up inside you.
"She's not your daughter. Not by my definition."
"What I'm asking," he said, leaning in close so that the stench of his warm breath overwhelmed me, "Is if you've seen a cute little girl with braids. I'd like to find her if you know where she is. Have you seen her?"
I looked away.
She hid in the alley, right on the other side of an empty metal dumpster. It was covered in graffiti and stains from garbage, and it radiated an angry, pungent odor, like the coffin of a murder victim that had been left open. I knew in that moment she still hid there, curled up and trembling.

So you think you're a big guy huh? Well what's the next step of your plan?

Little idiot. Should've run by then. But if she had the sense to run when the opportunity struck, she might've had the sense not to trust me with her hiding place. A stranger. No, worse than that. Literally Satan.
"You listening to me?"
I let my eyes meet his again. "Yes."
"So have you seen her, or not?"
Sin is not what people think. To sin is not to make a mistake. Not to lie. Not to steal. Not even to murder. It's to do these things and think it is right.
"No, you fat piece of shit. I fucking. Haven't."
He growled and punched me in the face, sending the back of my head slamming against the wall. The moment he let me go, I slide down the wall, nose bloody and clogged, my skull aching, my vision blurred. I saw nothing but his legs from that moment on. He stood there for god knows how long, maybe considering whether or not he should continue. In the end, though, he decided to make a run for it.
This is exactly how you fail one of God's tests. It's never some righteous story about a struggle against evil in which you win. It's not about devotion to good. It's not about choosing the right path. It's about choosing his path. If you fail to do so, you will be punished. Right or wrong be damned. I thought I knew that. I did know it. But I thought I'd accepted it. I thought I was ready.
"Thank you," the little girl whispered. She'd come out of hiding and scampered over to my huddled over body.
I looked up at her. Blonde hair twisted into messy braids, the split ends looking like the pins on a porcupine. She wasn't smiling. That's how I knew she really was grateful.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you." She leaned her little shoulder against the wall and stood there beside me.
I am a sinner.
"Your daddy hits hard," I said.
I lied.
"Yeah," she said back.
And I think I was right.

i am 38 old and still a virgin

I don't confess anything to a RED HEBREW EDOMITE

How does that happen? Are you picky or just socially retarded?

Honor your parents by honoring yourself brother. Become the person you were meant to be which you are proud of and in turn, your mother will be proud of you.

it happenned because i am retarded socially and mentally, i am a lonely joke