I would say the same thing, just to be polite. Let me tell you something that might be a bit dangerous...

>They have a 5-foot-2-inch little guy, whether he was straight or gay, I don’t know. I don’t care.
gets me literally every single time

Steven Segal: Snatching every motherfucker birthday

The Last Samurai is in the top 250 worldwide box office and 125 for Rated R. It made half a billion dollars. It made three times as much as Segal's best movie and it's not even in the top 10 for Tom Cruise.
What a cuck. No-one cares about height in movies because they shoot around it. You can make Tom Cruise look like fucking Gandalf in hobbiton if you want.

Oh, you mean like you're doing right now?

>only man in the world with a hairline that keeps marching forward

wha happen

dey tooker

WELL

>*wheezes loudly like an asthmatic having an attack*
I'M SORRY TO HEAR DAT. 'CUZ NOW
>*stares unfocused into the distance due to diabetic glaucoma*
I'M GONNA SNATCH
>*sways unsteadily as his knees struggle with bearing the results of two decades of physical inactivity*
EVERY MOTHERFUCKER BIRFDAY

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To be fair Tom Cruise was supposed to be a fish out of water who never held a sword and then became the last samurai. He didn't speak the language, he fucked up culturally, he got his ass kicked.

If Steven Seagul had been the lead he would've spoken Japanese right away, with scenes where he corrects the samurai on their sword fighting.

Seagal doesn’t really understand that films are literally not reality

>fat belly bursts out of lower shirt buttons
DID YOU JUST ASK ME TO DANCE?
>bad guys look confused
*zoom in on Steven squinting*
WELL?
>belt buckle flues off and ricochets from one baddy to another knocking them all out
*flips open zippo*
*bites cigarette but, puffs*
YEAH!

>We got 450,000 phone calls [laughs] from everybody in the world saying, “That role was perfect for you. How did that happen?”
He lies like somebody else I know

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>tfw nobody filmed the time judo gene lebell choked segal out and he shit his pants

it hurts

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This, I went to Japan on a business trip and hit my head on the goddamn sky.

So it would have been based and Steven would have shown those nuke dodgers what time it was

Does anyone have the sushi webm from that cop show he did?

I miss Seagal posting, the dude is just a real life meme - that said he had two good movies, that’s more than today’s hollywood ‘stars’ have.

huh?

Is there a biggest autist in the film industry?

>He had never been to Japan. He doesn’t speak Japanese. He has never held a sword. They make him the Last Samurai
That's why they hire actors instead of real persons. You won't cast a surgeon to play Dr Strange?
>Most of the people I know didn’t like the film and didn’t go see it.
How do they know it's bad? I didn't like it but I still had to watch to make a judgement.

Is this interview real, he can't be that dumb?

ASJ?

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It's been a while since i've seen that film, but isn't Ken Watanabe the last samurai?