Lord of the Rings thread

Serious question:

- Why didn't Elrond throw Isildur into the lava?

He could have literally saved millions.

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Why didnt they put the ring in a small locked box and destroyed the key to keep Frodo from putting it on whenever tempted?

this kuck to throw chad Isildur in the lava? kekekekek riiiight

>a dyel half-elf
>overpowering a Númenorean

As soon as Elrond moved on Isildur, the Ring would have intervened and created a "it's mine!"-scenario like Deagol/Smeagol.

I still dont get why the fellowship split?

Noldor chads (even mutts) > Basedmenoreans

Has there ever been a greater and dumber deux ex machina?

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>2019
>no Melkor movie

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It's been almost 20 years, when are we getting a remake my bros?

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They had a fundamental disagreement when it came to the tax policies Aragorn was looking to implement in Gondor.

hopefully never
no one in hollywood can do it justice nor deserves the money it would make

>ALL FEMALE CAST
yikes no ty

as if them trying to shoehorn arwen whenever possible wasnt already bad enough

WHAT THE FUCK WAS HIS PROBLEM?

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I don't understand your point. The eagles were irrelevant until the ring was dropped in and shit started to hit the fan because otherwise they would've been easily spotted and got their shit rocked by nazguls

normal people don't murder others to solve their problems
the "end justifies the means" is Sauron ethics and evil

huh, no

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>implying you can improve on that

Also wew lad two whole decades

>>implying you can improve on that
yes you can. Aragorn should be a trans woman of color

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Feanor did nothing wrong

If I'm not mistaken, in the book they don't go to the lava pit. The argument about destroying the ring was in the battlefield, after battle.

But in any case, a high lord of the elves forcing a high lord of the humans to destroy a object of power seen as a war spoil would start another war between the two races.

Why is the password for a dwarf door an elvish word? I thought they hated elves?

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Moria and Elves that lived in the lowlands next to it were great friends once. Then Celebrimbor made the rings with Sauron's help and once Sauron's ruse was up, shit went down. Ereigon burned and Moria shut its gate.

Instead of chasing after Sam and frodo who obviously wanted to get away from them to avoid another borimir scenario they decided to save the live of meriadoc Brandybuck and perigrin took. They had no way of knowing an int would save the two making this seemingly pointless although theodan may well have never ridden to Gondor without their insistence

It's pretty obvious sauron would have spotted them and prepared never allowing the eagles to land and get inside the crack in my doom

Crack is a helluva drug

The door was made in collaboration between elves and dwarves

FUCK ELVES AND FUCK YOUR OPINIONS ELROND!!!

>"t- this is why mean humans are bad"
>t. Elrond

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I watched this yesterday and thought the exact same thing, He just watches him walk away.
Thousands and thousands of people died hours ago and he won't sacrifice one more.

Why were they acting like the Balrog was such a bigger threat when it literally saved their lives?

They were completely surrounded by hundreds of orcs so it would be literally impossible to survive. I will take slow flaming hulk over that any day.

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They were cousins also it would lead to war between elves and humans

That door was for elf bros there to trade. Dwarves used the front door.

This wasnt in the books

The great thing about this movie was that virtually every single one of the main cast members was essentially born for their role. I can't think of a single one who wasn't. It's as close to perfectly as we'll ever get

Elrond's brother was the first King of Numenor, Elrond should have claimed that title and slapped this smug mfers shit up

Cuz it was

there was no one there to see. when he left the cave he could have been like "omg isildur tripped and fell into the fire ='(

no

>Balrog doesnt show up
the orcs kill the entire fellowship

>Balrog shows up
scares off the orcs and only gandalf has to die

The balrog was a threat tho

reminder

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the eagles didn't change the story of the ring at all, all they did was give frodo and sam their happy ending

they saved gandalf from sarumans tower. they would have never made it without gandalf

very minor nitpick desu.

Isnt it disrespectful for Gimli to be stomping on his cousin's grave? I dont think he wouldnt have gone up there even if he wanted the high ground

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>no one posted it
sad

Why is Fellowship so superior to the other two movies bros?

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less/smarter use of cgi

Its the archetypal fantasy rpg story. the other two are just armies clashing

To save billions.

isildur was a big guy for him

Stuart Townsend filmed all Aragorn scenes up until the first nazghul fight, and is an actual good fit, so no

Because if he didn't use it he'd been caught multiple times.

>Thinking anyone could have done a better job than Viggo

Sauron would win the war if the ring wasn't destroyed, sneaking it into mordor was their only option

the other two movies are more human centered, reminding us of medieval Europe
Fellowship had Hobbits, Elves, magic, Balrogs, Moria etc
very fantasy locations and a sense of wonder and magic that the 2 others didn't have

that was not his point. he was suggesting a better way to carry it to mordor rather on chain around frodo's neck that would have prevented him from readily putting it on whenever the urge hits him

Being able to put it on whenever the urge came is usually what saved his ass in the end. The ring might be evil but evil is also Eru’s will.

Where did that crack for him to hold on came from between shots?

D R O P P E D

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based trips of truth

these desu

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>is an actual good fit
hmmm no, he wasn't

Tolkien is an idiot. why would he break up the fellowship on the first book? The series takes a huge toll as soon as they separate. The whole appeal was on a party of unlikely allies going on an adventure.

>fly you fools

What did he mean by this?

and why couldn't he hold on to it?
I know that you're note strong in the fingertips, but he had his entire finger behind the ridge
and held on long enough for him to speak to them

you think he was fired by no reason?

now it's "Fly, Jouf Uls"
it was Sam's rel name whose secret superpower was literally flying
read the books

LotR Trilogy is on the same level as Gone With The Wind and Citizen Kane; a remake would be absolutely pointless.

>file you fools

As much as i love the movies they could have followed the books better. But I'd be surprised if that happen plus the length makes it next to impossible

You're an illiterate retard.

some papes

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does tolkein ever elaborate on the ancient tunnels that gandalf chases the balrog through? he only mentions they were made by people more ancient than the dwarves. but i thought dwarves, elves, ents, and men were the only thing made by the gods.

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its about what makes the story more enjoyable. it would have been a lot more interesting to see the members of the party tempted and struggle to keep their loyalty in various situations than frodo and sam fucking around in the middle of nowhere for two entire movies

He literally gets ensnared by the Balrog's whip

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This.
I assume he knew he couldn't, and would have been killed if he tried.

>remaking an all white movie in 2019

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>almost 20 years
>it cant be
>remember going to see it with some buddies
>2001

Where the fuck does the time go?!

>Isildur has the power of the one ring
>implying Elrond could do anything to stop him
lol

>Why were they acting like the Balrog was such a bigger threat when it literally saved their lives?

Because the threat was less with the orcs. Notice how Gandalf only goes "oh fuck" once the Balrog announces itself, he doesn't care about a measly 10 orcs they can easily fight their way out of that many. Do you not remember Aragorn casually striding out and facing down like 50 Uruk-Hai at once?

The Balrog was great enough that it threatened the whole of Middle-Earth. It was literally worse than the Smaug situation and potentially worse than Sauron if he got out.

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he was telling them to jump after him and help him fight the balrog, but none of the shifty cunts did so

basterds.

The whip had released by that point, which made it all the more odd how it looked like he was pulled off the ledge.
And then he defies gravity to fall faster than Glamdring so he can catch it mid-fall and keep fighting.

>Sauron has the power of the one ring
>implying some faggot human prince could do anything like cutting the ring of his finger to stop him
oh wait

The tunnels were made by the "nameless things" which are apparently more ancient than Sauron and Gandalf says he doesn't want to talk about them anymore.

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The actor who played Pippin is now 50 years old ffs.

How long do you think Gandalf has left?

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I'm still pissed that we didn't get a Connery Gandalf and got stuck with this queen.

They're Maiar who basically went "rogue" or feral, but continued to preform a "shaping" duty, even if totally random.

is this a troll? ian was literally the perfect gandalf

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Connery's Gandalf would have been 100x better.

How do we erase the hobbit films from existence?

Why was a cripple put in charge of an army anyway?

maybe topher grace will make an edited version

>tfw despite having browsed Yea Forums for 4 years, I still haven't watched LoTR

I just know Gandalf and Dumbledolf are wizards. Frodo and Sam are midgets. Aragorin is a king with a fair tax policy. Theodin is a king with a shit tax policy.
What do you say lads? Should I watch it?

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He remembered the eagles

no its too high iq for you and your probably arent even white

ew

youtube.com/watch?v=IrOqnZdvI6M

Never confirmed or denied, they're mysterious beings like Ungoliant.

I wish I could rewatch it again for the first time. you are lucky

Did Tolkien write the trilogy first, or did he create the world first?
Or did it happen both at the same time?

The gravity defying can be explained by him being a fookin wizard. He totally should have been able to manage a single pullup though. Did he think he has to finish the Balrog so it doesn't pursue them?

youtube.com/watch?v=zRmscXowX2U

its gonna suck isnt it?

its a sign of respect. its a physical way of saying that he'll protect the memory of his cousin by shielding the tomb

>1 balrog threat to entire ME
lol no
>balrog worse than smaug
possibly, but debatable
>balrog worse than full power Sauron
lol fuck no

thats a yikes from me

Must everything be a sign of respect or disrespect?

in a romanticized setting, yes

He wrote the hobbit as a childrens story and used it has the baseline for building the world as an excuse to jerk off to his made up languages. tolkien was first and foremost a linguist

>full power Sauron

user, Sauron is a little bitch compared to the beings who dicked about in the olden days, this is what the Balrog is. Why do you think Saruman stayed the fuck AWAY from Moria instead of trying to get the Balrogs help?

Gandalf is regularly keeping his powerlevel on the downlow because he knows that the people of Middle-Earth have it within them to defeat Sauron and his army. He goes full power against the Balrog, breaking his masters oath, because he knows shit just got very real, something he isn't even allowed to do against Sauron.

this is complete bollocks shut up you clown

Elrond is an unreliable narrator, same as the soldier narrating the tale of 300 to the Spartan army
Elrond was lying in order to motivate Aragorn and put a fear of the rings corrupting powers into his mind

This scene never happened, they never stood inside Mt Doom, they never even came close to destroying the ring.
Isildur snatched the ring off Saurons corpse before anyone even knew it existed except for two high elves who saw enough to only suspect

It wasn’t for many years later that Elrond and the high elves learned of the one ring for certain.

what he said is true, the Balrogs are something that needs to be left untouched, to slumber for the rest of eternity.

wow, opening that pic fullscreen and looking at it is mesmerizing
the quality looks real like it was the old dvd or books i had as a kid
sam/merry/pippin look like proper leprechauns igniting a sense of fantasy in my mind
aragorn looks so insanely king-like
gandalf is the amazing wise wizard
and the nazguls at the bottom make me nostalgic

why didnt the balrog just fly when she fell down?

How underage?

alright, i'll bite
a) Sauron and any balrog excepting Gothmog are at the very least on the same power level, with the preference going to Sauron given that he was Morgoth's right hand. you could argue that they have different kinds of power (i.e. balrogs are more physical and Sauron is more mystical/sorcery), but imho Sauron still comes out ahead given his "past experience"
b) you confused Saruman and Sauron and Sauron probably didn't even know about the Moria balrog, given that some of them fled from the Valar during/after the war of wrath
c) while Gandalf does usually keep his powerlevel partly down, he is still under severe limitations set by Manwe/Eru (don't remember who sent the Istari), so at no point can he go full power a la anime. he gave it his best considering his mortal form and died, but was sent back by Eru himself

I'm 28.

>with the preference going to Sauron given that he was Morgoth's right hand.

He was but not for force of arms but rather his use of deceit and subterfuge.

>you confused Saruman and Sauron and Sauron probably didn't even know about the Moria balrog,

I didn't, I specify Saruman because he knows about the Moria Balrog but never seeks to visit it and draw it to their side. Why?

ARWEN NO

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she thicc

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I love this image. Whoever designed it absolutely nailed it.

Sauron is the most powerful of melkor’s servants which includes the balrogs. He was always the second strongest bad guy

You're correct.
Fuck the guy who called you illiterate

The split was forseen by Galadriel
She warned Frodo of betrayal
She also set the stage for Aragorn to take his throne back, and use his military go give Sam and Frodo some cover in Mordor
Galadriel is also Arwen's mother, and I think this was the only was for her daughter to find happiness with Aragorn
She gave Boromir the strength to redeem himself before death

Basically Galadriel saved middle earth, and allowed Boromir to die so her daughter could be queen of Gondor
Galadriel was leaving middle earth anyways

das it mayne post the african american version nigga

>He was but not for force of arms but rather his use of deceit and subterfuge.
pretty much agree, but he was also a very powerful sorcerer. so i suppose the question comes down to the classic warrior vs wizard conundrum; my preference still goes to Sauron with the ring
>I didn't, I specify Saruman because he knows about the Moria Balrog but never seeks to visit it and draw it to their side. Why?
i assumed you meant Sauron because otherwise that has nothing to do with my post, to which you replied. that said, probably because the balrog is too calamitous andhe (Saruman) wouldn't be able to control it

He's not though, Gothmog, Ancalagan and Glaurung are outright far more powerful than Sauron. There's probably a few "ordinary" Balrog more powerful than Sauron too considering these guys were the raw might of Morgoths forces.

Sauron was kept around for deceit purposes.

So you're just retarded.

>He goes full power against the Balrog, breaking his masters oath

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he did

Read the Silmarillion to learn about the Eagles of Manwë.

It says it right in the silmarillion that Sauron is Melkor’s most powerful servant. Explicitly. Your headcanon that these other beasts are stronger is just headcanon. They are never stated to be more powerful than Sauron and yet Sauron is stated to be more powerful than them. That being said “power” and “physical strength” are different things in the Tolkien universe. Melkor has the most “power” but Tulkas is physically the strongest.

>Not watching a movie makes you retarded

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>I would have followed yo ass, my nigga, my brotha, my kang

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Why didn't Sauron just get some new bling?

It really does. So does your imgur filename.

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Not watching LOTR just makes you stupid, posting about it in LOTR threads makes you clinically retarded

he put all his juice into the first one; when you put your power into an object, you lose that power forever

I agree with you, but I will make just a correction: Galadriel is Arwen's grandmother, not the mother.

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I'd watch this. Would Aragorn pour one out?

All posting about power level is stupid and shows the parties involved don't know anything about Tolkien. 90% of what makes heroes heroes in the Silmarillion is just valor

Yeah but elves were supposed to be so light they wouldn't even leave a footprint on snow...

>tfw think Two Towers in unronically the best
>still have to deal with CGI Legolas being a stain on it

So let me get this straight. Tolkien fought in fucking WW2 and created the LOTR narrative around his experiences, right? Then why the fuck wasn't there a baller ass Normandy-type invasion scene? Imagine how sweet the Mordor scene would have been if it had long since conquered Gondor and the Rohirrim--the finest sealords in Middle Earth--launched the most daring amphibious invasion the Third Age had ever witnessed, landing thousands of troops on Gondoran beaches and swooping through the provinces liberating the enslaved men and arriving on the doorsteps of Sauron's empire, while the Ringbearer (parachuted in by the Eagles) sneaks in as the enemy is distracted.

do NOT respond to this, it's copypasta from an earlier thread

Another correction: the user in was calling THIS user a illiterate, not the person you are defending.

Elrond was a lil puss afraid to square up with Isildur.

What the fuck happened

You, Gandalf and Dumbledolf can all go fuck yourselves. I'll stick around in these thread, happy not to have watched this garbage.

Nobody was able to adequately respond to it. It's undeniable that LOTR could have had much better war scenes if only Tolkien had drawn upon contemporary war scenes rather than shit like the Siege of Vienna.

There are power levels in Tolkien, they just don’t directly translate to fighting skills. Yvanna is a Valar so she’s stronger than Sauron is, but could she kick sauron’s ass? Probably not, I doubt she can even fight at all. She doesn’t have violence in her, doesn’t mean she’s weak. She’s the source of all life in Arda, her power permeates through everyone and everything. Melkor is the most powerful Valar, his essence is so strong it is permanently a part of Arda’s essence. Everything that exists is partly evil because of that; that’s extremely massive influence on the world, and yet he’s basically wrestled into submission by a Valar with less power and then he’s embarrassed by an elf who might as well be a flea to him, all because power does not translate to martial prowess

You're being baited by one of the lowest effort baits in history, that's what the fuck happened

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Yes, therefore all power level posting is inherently stupid. Thanks for elaborately agreeing

>watch the movies back when they were released
>think they were pretty good
>never read the book until 2018
>plot works so much better in the book
>book is actually very different to the movie
>read the silmarillion
>at this point pretty much a tolkien lore fanboy nerd
>try watching the movies again
>can't because it deviates so much from the book

I want the movies remade. I want them to be a visual representation of the books. I don't want anyone to add characters or make them more appealing to minorities. The characters used in the Jackson movies were alright but why did he deviate so much from the source? It did absolutely nothing to make the movie more enjoyable, shorter or longer. It's just a big fuck you to the book. Arwen is barely even mentioned in the books yet she's so prominent... That really fucking annoyed me. And where's Tom Bombadil?

All I want is a 4 hour runtime, make it a directors cut if it has to be.

I also want a movie or tv show about the Silmarillion. There's plenty of great material there. Give it to someone who doesn't try to make it his own idea, I just want the book visualized. I know it's too much to ask, jews cannot let us have that, but a man can at least wish.

What a strange pleasure to stick in threads about things you don't know and doesn't want to. Not only retarded, you are full of free time to waste.

What did you think of Gollum in the movies? I never liked him
I feel neither enmity nor sympathy towards him, he's just annoying
Liked him in the books though

Where the FUCK were the bathrooms?

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Not really because there’s still power levels and they sort of matter they’re just not everything. Sauron isn’t explicitly a warrior and yet he shapeshifts into a wolf in fights the most dangerous beast in Arda in 1v1 combat and almost wins. Sauron has virtually no experience with direct combat and yet he almost beats a Huan just because he’s just that powerful

>the books
do people actually read this shit?

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>and they sort of matter
Not for powerlevel posting. It's always "could Sauron beat the Balrog in a fight lol???". That's what powerlevel posting is ya git
Also nice Sauron bias there, it's more like he got BTFO by a dog lel

>Implying you aren't wasting your time just as much as I

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I still love you

defeating balrogs were done in the silmarillion, so it's nothing special.
it makes no sense in speaking about 'going full power' as it's not something they are in control of.
gandalfs story arc was overcoming fear and that he did against the balrog, overcoming the task he was sent back with more power as gandalf the whyte.

I imagine the director can’t do a pull up and in trying to film the scene to look more dramatic it actually suspends belief because he has the heaviest part of his torso up over the ledge and a solid hand hold and he just lets go of his handhold and slides back for no reason.

>inb4 “hurr hurr suspend belief in a movie about magic and elves and wizards.”

Why does everyone hate the scouring of the shire?

Bombadil is completely superfluous and nothing exposes a pseudo fan faster than posting about how he's required to be shown in film. Go on, I know you wanna post about how epic he is and how he could have just danced and sung his way into Mordor
Hey now merry dol go fuck yourself

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You’re wrong though. I never said it didn’t matter because it obviously does; I just said it wasn’t everything. It can still make someone with no combat experience super strong regardless, it can still paralyze a weaker being from sheer pressure alone. Sauron fights Elendil and Gil-Galad alone because his presence is so powerful that nobody else can even approach. Before he fights Huan, both Huan and Beren are paralyzed with fear before Huan gets a boost of courage and breaks out. Power obviously matters, it’s just not everything like some shitty anime where the stronger power level always wins and can’t even be touched.

Would the Fellowship have survived had it continued along the original path (where father winter allegedly mucked about) and never went into Moria?

Like others here, I know about the matter of the thread and I'm interested in it. Roaming in threads picking little arguments and reading post after post to troll for sure is for people who doesn't have anything better to do.

I am part of "everyone". I like it. Therefore your premise is wrong
Great chapter to have the Hobbits solve some shit on their own simply by being the only ones around who have learned to assert themselves

And nothing exposes a pseudointellectual than someone using words like "superflous" what the fuck does that shit even mean?

>It can still make someone with no combat experience super strong regardless, it can still paralyze a weaker being from sheer pressure alone
Yes it's almost like all power level posting is stupid. Thanks for elaborately agreeing once again

Defend this

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>Write long paragraphs to argue against obvious bait
>Complains that the baiter is wasting his time

I repeat, you and Dumbledolf can go fuck yourselves.

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How fucking dense are you, exactly? Sauron can literally paralyze a mortal with fear and then walk up and stab his stupid defenseless face, all from sheer power. But apparently it doesn’t matter.

Or the mortal could be fine, like Elendil, because power levels don't exist in Tolkien's world
Stop power level posting, this isn't DBZ

Are palantirs obvious plot devices?

Elendil was literally killed but ok you didn’t read the book I get it

>breaking his masters oath
kek, alright

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Elendil is the king of numenoreans. He is the farthest thing from a “mortal” that any man could possibly be, and he was the only man in existence who could resist sauron’s immense pressure

Is the audience supposed to feel sad? He was an insuferable cunt, I remember me cheering and my mom clapping when he got shot.

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If a regular human kills another regular human in real life, does that mean his magic anime power level is greater?
Stop power level posting
>He is the farthest thing from a “mortal” that any man could possibly be
He's not even close to the Men of the First Age, stop being silly

I don't think he is epic in particular, at first I didn't like him. But he makes sense and is interesting after reading the Silmarillion. I think beings like Tom expand Arda, it diverts away from that kind of good vs evil setting LOTR is about. He's a mystic being in the world and I think deserves a place in a true depiction of the books. He isn't vital to the story being told, but he is a part of the actual story, you can't just remove characters without losing fidelity.

Believe me, I take no time to write the "long paragraphs" you talk about. I'm sorry you are so butthurt about being called a retard.

Yeah you don’t get (you)s anymore this is simply a waste of my time. Power levels definitely matter and you’re a fucking retard, good day

Cool vague bait that doesn't even mean anything
The cool thing about the Palantirs in the books is that they don't just magically corrupt dudes to evil like they made it out to be in the film
Sauron specifically shows Denethor visions of giant armies to make him despair

He realised after fighting the Balrog that
>oh fuck we really should have flown on the eagles to mordor

I wouldn't be able to take gandalf serious if they got sean connery to play him.
He doesn't look feel gandalf at all, and I bet that back in his time he used to beat up the nerds reading LOTR

I wouldsay he had an outhouse bu ti swear hementions a bathroom in the hobbit

Good thing I'm not 14 years old so I don't care whether a post obviously meant for me also has a (you) in it. I still think it was a mistake that the native expansion introduced that feature and let plebs like you make a meme out of it
>Power levels definitely matter
Did you even read the stories about Turin?

hobbits shit themselves on the spot and hid it around their holes :^)

if were being serious though theyd have used outhouses, they clearly werent advanced enough for plumbing

Orcs are cowards, if they'd killed a few the others would've fled

Because Isildur would have ripped him apart like a fucking chicken wing.

>Asgore - transman, gay
What the fuck was the point of turning into a man if you're gay for man dick?

Numenoreans were explicitly made greater than the first men retard. Beren, one of those men, the greatest of those men in fact, was unable to approach Sauron. By your logic a “weaker” numenorean would also be incapable, and yet Elendil can fight him, proving your assertion wrong. In fact, Elendil’s “power level” is the ONLY thing that allows him to fight Sauron in the first place. You cannot overcome sauron’s will as a normal man, it is impossible no matter how much you train or how brave you are.
Furthermore it’s obvious that Sauron is more powerful than the balrog in Moria because 1)Gandalf beats the balrog and it’s explictly stated that he couldn’t beat Sauron even as Gandalf the white, meaning Sauron is stronger than both and 2)Aragorn and boromir leap into action and are able to challenge the balrog. They would not be able to to challenge Sauron, their innate power level is too low to even resist him at all. They’d be paralyzed and frozen like every other man who ever got caught in Sauron’s gaze besides Elendil himself

Oh you mean the story where Turin gets paralyzed by a dragon for like 2 years because even though he’s the bravest man in the world he’s unable to resist the inherent power level difference between him and Glaurung? Thanks for bringing up another story that proves my point

>power levels matter guys!
>that's why Sauron is stronger than Gandalf who is of the same race as him
k

sigh
you’re not even trying anymore

>black could be anywhere

This defensiveness. God damn, any time you point out a flaw in the series/lore, someone is super quick to attack with all out aggression. Why is this?

I would definitely watch this just to hear them praise their kang throughout the movie.

Every time Liv Tyler is shown I just have to skip ahead. Not only is she hard to look at but her scenes are the worst.

You realize that there is an entire spectrum of Maia from super weak ones to super powerful ones, right? You know Sauron is stated to be the most powerful Maia’s? Do you realize that Olorin-Gandalf-himself admits he’s scared of Sauron because he’s stronger than him?

there are two types of trans "men"

- bull dykes who want to fuck straight girls
- straight girls who get off on men on men action so they want to take part in it

peter jackson must have had the biggest hard on for Legolas. he gave him all the best action sequences doing the most amazing kino shit while Gimli was relegated to comedic relief shitbag

>best action sequences
>most amazing kino shit
lol

Easy
Because this guy doesn't know any lore. You can't point flaws in a thing you know vaguely nothing about, can you?

How did he get away with this?

Attached: Sieg Heil.webm (1280x528, 1.27M)

Learn to separate your political and other opinions from the character. You'll enjoy movies more. This is no different than sjws behavior. You are a man, be rational

>thinking just because something has lore it cant be a plot device

sorry love but lore is built around the plot not the other way around, you dont just create every detail of a world and then put the most logical story on top, you create a story and set up a world to serve it

i tried, but the language makes it an impossible slog and its full of gay shit like singing and kissing

reading good. Not reading bad

fuck books

She's pretty without all that pasty make up

either your joking or this is bait or you're retarded. I just don't know but she is waving goodbye

I bet you learn a lot from not reading

i didnt care about him in particular but one of my boys is a huge Boromir fanboy and he always tweaks over this scene.

niggle me this, if Boromir is supposed to be some turbo chad warrior right up there with Aragorn, why did he get shitpushed by some purple faggot?

Not at all, because in the LOTR case it was the other way around. Tolkien wrote about Arda and the elves of the ancient days a long time before writing about LOTR. I'll say more: The Silmarillion (where the palantir first shows off) was mean't to be published before the creation of the plot of LOTR.

because it would be stupid to start a war between elfs and men just because taking the ring COULD be a bad Idea

She quite clearly laying the foundation for the coming race war.

Nice fetish

But kill billions.

There would be a war between the humans and the elves

Aragorn had Legolas and gimil saving his ass. Not even considering the books, Aragorn would have died 2 times if Legolas and gimili didn’t save him. Boromir was all alone and he killed a dozen by himself (he killed 2 dozen in the books)

Gimli has some comedy about him but he axed a lot of mother fuckers. The only cool thing he did that gimli didnt do was kill a mumakil. That trick sliding down the stairs on a shield was cool too.

O MY

Why didn't they establish a postal service and get the ring delivered to Mount Doom? With no signed delivery at the entrance, it probably would've ended up tossed in the lava to avoid job loss and blame for the courier.

should make the ring wraiths kkk members

The irony is that Gimli is stronger and a better fighter than Legolas. I think Legolas got a lot of shine because Orlando Bloom is a pretty boy that can draw in the audience, and you can flat out do more with a lithe, agile elf than a stocky brute.

nigga what? legolas did the shield slide, fucked that elephant up, he took down that whole ladder with a single laser snipe, he double jumped a breaking bridge, he shot that tentacle from the octopus while it was holding frodo

i remember gimli whinging over kill counts and getting pinned by the wolves

Do you remember this dick in your mouth? I do

which member of the fellowship would you want to have sex with?

Gimili is more badass because he actually has to get up close and smash dudes, Legolas can just sit back and shoot his little bow like a bitch. The fact that gimili matches legolas’s killcount despite all the advantages legolas had and all the multikills he got is suppose to earn the audience’s respect. Gimili’s kills came from farming two ladders and then literally jumping into a crowd of Uruks TWICE and surviving.

Bill the pony

>He doesn't look feel gandalf at al
You're fucking blind then. Dude was a better looking Gandalf in The Rock than Ian was in the LoTR movies.

Attached: sean_connery_the_rock.jpg (1280x720, 109K)

Legolas

>t. queer

He looks like a homeless hobo, not a powerful and wise wizard

>where there's a whip there's a way

>t. Gimli

Gandalf the Grey literally looks like a homeless hobo, you queer lover.

he is a big guy

Attached: bigguy.jpg (666x1000, 164K)

>queer lover
kek. Nice ad hominem, bro.
Gandalf still looked like a wise wizard even when he looked like a hobo, and his voice doesn't sound like it belongs to a goat fucker

O.k., Ian. But Sean still would have done a much better job than you, you fairy.

>homophobia in 2019
pathetic

Why didn't Gimli know how to get into Moria?

> merry dol go fuck yourself
kek

Where were all the shota and loli elves?

because it was a secret way for the elves that the general population didn’t know about. Furthermore that trade had ended long before gimili was born so the door would not have been used for a very long time.

Ruling is hard. This was maybe my answer to Tolkien, whom, as much as I admire him, I do quibble with. Lord of the Rings had a very medieval philosophy: that if the king was a good man, the land would prosper. We look at real history and it’s not that simple. Tolkien can say that Aragorn became king and reigned for a hundred years, and he was wise and good. But Tolkien doesn’t ask the question: What was Aragorn’s tax policy? Did he maintain a standing army? What did he do in times of flood and famine? And what about all these orcs? By the end of the war, Sauron is gone but all of the orcs aren’t gone – they’re in the mountains. Did Aragorn pursue a policy of systematic genocide and kill them? Even the little baby orcs, in their little orc cradles?
The war that Tolkien wrote about was a war for the fate of civilization and the future of humanity, and that’s become the template. I’m not sure that it’s a good template, though. The Tolkien model led generations of fantasy writers to produce these endless series of dark lords and their evil minions who are all very ugly and wear black clothes. But the vast majority of wars throughout history are not like that.

B T F O
T
F
O

You're a fucking retard

*George R.R Martin is a retard

Actually he started a sequel to Lord of the Rings showing the future of Gondor little time after the death of Aragorn. I think Tolkien would detail everything you talk about taxes and orcs, but he decided that wasn't a tale worth to be told.

I think the user said that YOU (person posting others controversy opinions to get attention) is a retard.

What is GRRM's template anyway?

politiking and taking forever to write

The same as Tolkien: All the foreign reigns and people unite to defeat the ancient evils that come from the winter and the mysterious north, for the humanity to prosper with sex, flood, famine and tax policies.

How do we feel about the upcoming Tolkien movie?

He could not have overpowered him.

Orcs had taverns in mordor so it's not much of a stretch that they'd have menus

How did the hobbits have potatoes when they only got to Europe after the discovery of America?

Why the fuck did Legolas shoot Grima when he stabbed Saruman? Wasnt that supposed to be his redemption moment?

It can be done. They can do it justice provided they forget the trilogy ever existed and do it in a way thats true to the books without the character changes. They have to not be influenced by the trilogy and simply follow the books chapter by chapter. And even then, i think it would work better as a miniseries than a movie trilogy. Just my opinion. Of course, if you factor in the whole hollywood pozzing, then yeah, that alone should make anyone worried about a remake. You need someone who isn't interested in shoving modern politics into an age old story, and someone who has the balls to do it in a way that can't be interfered with by any studio.

Retard

This was stupid as fuck. They should have finished the trilogy like in the books where sauromon was fucking up shire and they were heroes and shit and save their hometown.