Anyone here do stand-up comedy?

sounds like you still hate yourself

I feel like I would do well at an open mic because I would get upset that my jokes aren't landing and would start physically assaulting members of the staff and audience, and some dumb hipster retard from Vice would call it genius avant garde art.

I skipped every speech i was required to give in school and college since middle school

I feel like it would be too easy to get accused of stealing jokes

This

lol

how?

I do. But I always get kicked off the stage whenever I start talking about gas chambers having wooden doors.

depends if youre performing with dickheads or not, but it does happen that people can cover similar themes n stuff

Thinking about doing it, gotta make good money somehow, can you really only make it if you move to New York or Los Angeles?

i physically cringe when i hear people talk like this irl

It's never too late

that's a good question. i know working comedians in europe, so it can be done, but maybe not the same path to glory as in the US

fact, I know a 70 something year old woman whos been doing open mics for the last year

by just not going. What's the worse they're going to do?

>can you really only make it if you move to New York or Los Angeles
ofc not, but it really REALLY helps

well, shit. wish i followed that advice. i still have nightmares wasted on having to prepare and deliver speeches for school

Brainlet, surface opinion. Comedy is objective. Any nonfunny idiot can fool an audience into laughing when subtly prompted by means of elementary mind control tactics.

I watched Norm shut down witless idiots applauding nonsense by stealing a joke. No one called him on it. Because it was fucking gold ((because it was shit). Not saying when or where or what.

>the Efficient Nazi Industrial Murder Machine, ladies and gentlemen, have you heard of this? A whole industry dedicated to killing Jews? They're in the middle of a war, and they're going to waste precious murder gas on captive Jews? These efficient Germans? It's like if Rube Goldberg designed a death engine. I mean, come on here people!

>anyone here do stand-up comedy?
stand-up comedy (i'm talking about america mostly) is literally a mafia
a mafia that's run by such of people like joe rogan. they dictate who the fuck gets in, or who the fuck is not welcome.

You might get some fame in the midwest, but both east coast and west is run by the joe rogan mafia. It's absolutely fucked.

Most stand up comedians are usually d list celebrities at best. It's gotta fuck with your self image knowing that you're that close to pop culture relevance, but you'll most likely never touch it, regardless of how good you are at your craft. There are exceptions of course, with some stand ups getting sitcom and movie deals, but there will always be that glass ceiling they'll never break through.

The best example is Magic Mike. Here are some of the hottest guys in the film industry that women are creaming themselves over, then you have Gabriel Iglesias playing the fat comic relief that no woman could possibly care about.

Being in that weird spot in society must fuck with your head. So you start doubling down and thinking to yourself that your special club is more special than it really is. Western voice actors are in the exact same situation. You play Batman in a Nolan film and you walk down a red carpet and rub shoulders with the Hollywood elite. You play Batman in a video game and you sit at a table in a comic book convention selling autographs to fat sweaty nerds for $35 a pop. It must be an abstract kind of hell.

do nobody comedians get a lot of pussy thanks

You'll have more opportunities available to you. Trying to make it as an anything when you live in a flyover state is kind of an uphill battle.

>Why not just hit them over the head with the guns? Why even a bullet?

>And have you heard about these gas chambers? We relocate millions of people, and instead of delousing them and employing slave labor we busy ourselves disposing of the rail-thin corpses still smoldering with fat somehow in the fires. So these efficient Germans, they make the gas chambers out of wood, have you heard of this? Whether you're delousing your slave labor or murdering them with ruthless industrial efficiency, it's safe to say it was a national tragedy.

Run by this guy..."I say to him, I say, 'you stirr have your day job!'"

youtube.com/watch?v=8SWOaAo4jrk

What are you even talking about? There are tons of successful comics on the coasts who have zero affiliation with Joe Rogan.

What the fuck did you do to cross THE DEATH SQUAD

I haven't left the house in 3 years. So "no".

>Never trust math teachers who use graph paper. They’re always plotting something.

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But Joe Rogan is a fucking joke and a bottom tier amateur hour comic. I'm sure even fucking Dane Cook has more clout in the stand up world than him.

>it's a Joe Rogan claims Norm's show on Netflix is cancelled because he's mad he isn't getting checks at The Store episode

Pun jokes will get you kicked out of most comedy clubs in a split second

What a bunch of gays