I genuinely feel sorry for Luke. Imagine being a teenage boy and living on a shithole farm on Tatooine. What chance would you have for losing your virginity, or even having a first kiss? There is literally no women around, not counting your craggy old aunt. Then one day this robot shows up with this holograph of some hot chick babbling about being desperate and bending over in front of the camera. Man, Luke must have tugged it to that video so many times. You then take this message to the guy its meant for and he tells you you can go meet this girl, but you gotta rescue her from some evil dudes and learn about magic or some shit. You're thirsty as fuck, so you all like "fuck yeah let's do this" and you almost die like five times before blowing up a space station for her. She kisses you and pretends to be into you for a bit, but then starts banging your chad mate. That's bad enough, but then you find out that this chick you've been beating your meat to the whole time is your sister. She's literally the only bird you've met the whole time, and now you gotta sit there knowing your buddy is plowing through her every night and probably letting his giant monkey bodyguard join in for a spitroast. No wonder he ended up as some weird old monk drinking fresh alien titty milk on a deserted island.
I genuinely feel sorry for Luke. Imagine being a teenage boy and living on a shithole farm on Tatooine...
nice kwods
Nice quads la
And now his sister has completely ruined women for him and he is obsessed with twinks and traps. Life isn’t easy for our boy Luke.
He could've went to Mos Eisley and farmed some moisture from these cantina whores I bet.
kek this is a masterpiece
In the beginning there is a deletescene where he is chilling with friends in most eisly including girls
Biggs and Wedge weren't their real names, OP. Luke would be all like, Hey BIGs ^_~ Hey WEDGE ~_^ Wanna hop in the T-16 and bullseye my womprat?
He bones a banging redhead assassin later tho so it's all good
not canon bro, that backstory genuinely makes the narrative less interesting.
lel, it's like the state of the current film paradigm as well
not canon anymore
>impregnates his assassin
>converts her
>raises the kid
That sounds cool as fuck.
>That sounds cool as fuck.
You ever read any EU books? It's not.
Fuck off reylo faggot
Both the EU and the new star wars are garbage m8
I thought Mara Jade was already confirmed for 9.
not as bad as nuwars and Rey.
>implying Leia didn't bang Luke before she found out that he was her brother
>implying Luke isn't Kylo's real father
Why do you think Luke was so fucked up by Kylo turning to the dark side?
why would they introduce her now? what impact would she have on Luke's character arc?
EU had some passable stuff even if it was plagued with shit tier writing, nuwars has fuck all
Was the Yuuzhan Vong the passable stuff?
wouldn't kylo have to have been born before RTOJ in that case?