Haha what if Seinfeld was on now instead of the 90s?
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A show about nuttin
george get in twitter trouble
jery get ipad
kramer uber
elaine tinder
JEROME ACQUIRE APPLE PRODUCT
jery needs uber
kramer picks him up in georges car
trap music plays
george loses his juul
elaine uses tinder and complains about her 54th boyfriend this week
George swipes right on Elaine and she swipes left. She denies it but George knows she did it. He and Kramer break into tinder headquarters to get info off the server
Kramer borrows jerry's car
Later Jerry uses Uber for a date
Kramer picks Jerry up and charges him
Jerry scream "but it's my car!"
George is dating a hot girl who is woke af
George needs to be woke af so he can fuck her
Geroge makes a Twitter and starts complaining about white guys
Jerry says "But you're white!"
George says "I'm horny Jerry. So I pretend to be woke af."
Woke af girl decides to fuck Newman because he says he's black and woke af
A show about equality?
Equality, Jerry.
Kramer gets doxxed
GEORGE IS ALT RIGHT
KRAMER IS A NIGGER
ELAINE THOT
JERI GET IPAD
Kramer gets a blue check mark on Twitter
George and Jerry are supremely jealous because they don't have check marks
Kramer loses his check mark for saying something racially insensitive by current standards
george sleeps with a tranny
lel
George goes out with a tranny and doesn't realise the person he's dating is a tranny
he finds out while they're having sex and faints.
he tells his friends about it and they scold him for being "transphobic"
>Kramer bursts through the door of Jerry's apartment, audience claps and cheers
>K:They've done it JERRY The Jews have done it this time!
>J:Here we Go, what did we do now
>K: You've outlawed memes in Europe
>J:Did we? In Europe? Not Israel?
>K: oooh your people runs Europe you know that Jerry
>J: It is a nice place to run
>K: It's the last straw Jerry first they come for our memes next our Hentai
>J:That reminds me, Elaine wants your Ehent login, she's trying to date some weird IT guy
gorge play fortnite
This a good one
Newman humiliates Kramer while live streaming Fortnite, and Kramer SWAT's him
Jerry becomes a soundcloud rapper and gets shot at
Jary get ipad
Kramer gets his idea stolen by Zuckerberg
best one
lel
>Internet and politics
Wow, what a boring world
Heh
kramer get airpods
>george starts streaming and is upset elaine won't give him her free twitch prime sub
Jerry's main source of income is a patreon podcast
Seinfeld is on now.
George becomes a sabermetrics nerd and ends up GM of the Yankees
Newman finds an mpeg of Kramer huffing jenkem on an old computer, and decides to blackmail him with it.
elaine makes $400,000 a month on patreon
George meets a woman he likes but she identifies as a gay man and George starts wondering if she's actually a man
>It's a George gets caught watching sissy hypno joi episode
Kramer cuts his dick off lol
I’m commissioning 12 episodes of the new season.
>Jerry! Bane posting Jerry!
>Bane posting?
>He's a big guy Jerry! A real big guy!
>A big guy?
>A big guy for you Jerry!
>For me?
>For you
>Woke af girl decides to fuck Kramer because he’s chad af and not interested in her bullshit.
Fixed a small note in an otherwise stellar episode.
>“How could you not tell, George?!…”
>THERE
>WAS
>SHRINKAGE!
nailed the dialogue
>It is a nice place to run
God damn I miss that show
So which one would be recasted to be more "progressive"?
Remember the episode where George became the leader of a far right white supremacist hate organization? haha, good memories.
>The 4 of them get lost in a parking garage
>Text each other to let everyone know where they are
>Have an Opentable reservation at a new Korean-Thai fusion small plates restaurant
>Hostess seats them at their allotted time
>Elaine is recast as that sheboon from nu-busters
>Kramer is recast as Kal Penn
>George is Ken Jeong
>Jerry is Jerry
>Elaine isn’t in delivery zone for new Chinese restaurant
>She uses Uber eats instead
>Kramer is driver
>Elaine finds out her new boyfriend is pro life
>She argues with him and he’s dragged out of car and beaten to death by passing New Yorkers
>Mob then beats Kramer because he won’t wear “not my president” button
>Kruger calls George out for faking the Human Fund
>George hires Jackie Chiles and successfully sues Kruger Industrial Smoothing for discrimination, costing the company millions
>George clears out his parents' belongings after their deaths and finds a treasure trove of rare fetish porn, which he decides to try and sell on the deepweb
>Jerry dates a girl who has a complete collection of NTSC Region 1 NES cartridges.
>She says they were her dad's and she never plays them and they just collect dust, as she'd rather stream a Netflix original than play vidya
>Jerry drugs her on a date so he can play Little Samson, Bubble Bath Babes, and Nintendo World Championship
>She comes to the day after and watches the video feed from her security system
>Jerry is arrested
>For his crimes Jerry has to pay one days electric bill to the girl and write a twitter apology.
JERRYS GETTIN IPAD UH
>George buys himself a new car for cheap online
>Beautiful blond woman instantly takes a liking to George and he doesn't know why
>Hangs on his every word and she calls him a true, misunderstood genius
>George loves the attention so he doesn't complain, but still wants to know what the attraction is
>Thinks back to the fact it all started once he got the car
>Looks up the vehicle history on carfax
>Records show that it was the car from Charlottesville
>The mistaken identity of Donald O'Brien reemerges
>it was newman who shot at him
>Kramer loses his apartment after becoming broke from donating his life's savings to a thot on twitch who said his name and showed him her feet
kek
>George tries to become a political activist after he gets diarrhea and identifies as a woman to go into the female restroom
>Elaine meets a seemingly perfect guy but struggles to maintain her attraction after seeing a Nintendo Switch in his car
make it rather Elaine saw him making a basedface when he got his switch
>Kramer gets sick of parking fines and the amount of gangs in the neighbourhood.
>Stays up for 5 days, working out how to run for office of Mayor of New York
>Immediately hates it as it’s a lot of work, wants to get kicked out
>Becomes a kind of ersatz-Trump character
>”Fuck niggers, more parking”
>Gets insanely popular and ends up doing a ton of good for the area
>Attacked and mocked by liberal elite, but he acts up more and more, because he agrees with them and wants out.
>Eventually gets shot by Newman, who is perched on a roof with a high-powered rifle
>Gets out of politics and goes back to being a mooch
>Elayne fucks a black guy and he hits her or some shit
Writes itself mates.
krammer take jer car
jer date
uber is krammer
"but mine!"
>Elaine wants to go to this trendy new wine bar
>Says everyone there is super cool and nice to her
>Tells Jerry that he should come with her too, since it seems like it could be a great place to meet people
>Jerry comes reluctantly and sees Elaine gets welcomed like a regular now
>Jerry strikes out with every girl he talks to, while Elaine seemingly is having a fun girl's night out
>Jerry looks up reviews for the place on Yelp and finds out it's a dyke bar
>Tries to tell Elaine this, but she likes having new friends around
>Jerry takes it upon himself to tell all the girls in the bar that he slept with Elaine and that they used to go out
>This backfires as they all now think he's gay and that Elaine is a full on lez who is open to their advances
>Elaine finally has had enough when some butch undercut bitch with 3 dozen tattoos starts groping her
>Jerry takes another woman's purse and hits the bulldyke with it to keep up the appearance that he's gay
>They both run out of the bar and see George waiting on line to get in
>Fuck niggers, more parking
More parking? What?
Make it happen
Kramer gets evicted and moves to Newburgh to cook meth
>Kramer and Newman begin to put into action their plot to ethnically cleanse Chinatown from encroaching on what's left of Little Italy because their favorite place to get cannolis has a bid by a Chinese landlord to buy the building from an old, dying Italian woman and her kids.
GEORGE IFFY UH
KRAMER GET THE STIFFY
kr car
je
ub is kr
no me
k ca
j y
k u
j no
k
j
u
n
22–24 minutes of George doing Fornite dances.
kram make cajun recipe
I must be actually retarded because this is making me kek irl a lot harder than it ever should.
I know it's posted every time but this is literally what a modern Seinfeld series would be like
Elaine accidentally invents a new dance move
At first embarrassed by it she later claims the "Elaine" is copyrighted by her and tries to sue a popular online video game (that George and Kramer are both addicted to playing)
>Kramer starts a let’s play YouTube channel
>Calls it “Kramergate”
>Gets cult following due to his wacky antics
>Becomes Eceleb
>Gets in trouble for using the N-word a couple of times
>Apologises
>Gets popular again
>Some absolute mad lad does a Hardcore Henry on a bunch of praying Kebabs with a GoPro strapped to his head
>Says “Subscribe to Kramergate” as he’s bundled into the van by cops
>Kramer makes the face
>Slap bass outro
I love Seinfeld threads
kek
It's called CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
Kramer does IRL streaming and says nigger out loud
>Jerry finds out Elaine regularly posts on /pol/
>George has given up on real girls and exclusively fugs traps
>Kramer's gofundme money is not being paid to him as they are investigating his background
>Jerry has a dilemma with a misspelled tattoo
george is dating a tranny
I actually laughed out loud. Good one.
>Kramer discovers the victim Olympics
>Stages a hate crime during a polar vortex
>Caught on camera laughing while having a gas chamber wrapped around his neck
>becomes the patron saint of niggers
>I duuno,George. That's pretty progressive, but what about the dilation?
>Wait. What.
>You know. *pregnant pause* The Dilaaation. *spreading hand gesture*
>What's dilation, Jerry?
"Sorry Jerry, I don't make the rules."
>This show is too white! There's too many white people! I HATE WHITE PEOPLE! EVEN MORE THAN I HATE MYSELF!
Jery ipad
>having a gas chamber wrapped around his neck
No, George finds out on the first date but plays it cool, then goes to Jerry for advice on how to break it off. Kramer overhears but doesn't know she's a tranny. Kramer moves in to catch the tranny on the rebound. Jerry sees kramer and tranny on date, tells George. George and Jerry confront Kramer and tell him she's a tranny. Kramer reveals they slept together and she's not a tranny.
>But Kramer... you're the only white guy on the show.
Ahahahah. Nice.
.
.
.
!
>Kramer tries convincing everyone to buy BTC
>Everyone keeps trying to convince him it's a bubble, but instead gets convinced it's not and to buy in
>George gets convinced to buy into Kramer's altcoin that's gonna replace BTC
>BTC crashes and everyone but Kramer loses most their money
>George is happy at first because he thinks his altcoin is gonna overtake BTC
>"It was a pump and dump George, you still have that?"
>Everyone pissed because Kramer cashed out
>Ends with Kramer saying, "That's the thing about bubbles."
>George tries out CBD
>accidentally tries out PCP
Jews dont go to jail
Oh I love that one.
Kek
>Kramer casually starts talking to him about his friend sacameno but Jerry hates talking to drivers and tells kramer to focus on driving
>kramer thinks jerry sees himself beneath him and starts talking like a chaffeur whenever he sees him in the building
BASED
I don't look like that, i don't know anyone who looks like that. I once saw a dude with face tattoos and i just laughed. Only in America will this be "normal"....
KEK
>Kramer comes out as a Trump supporter
>Elaine hates Trump
>the group talks about whether they should let the Trump thing go or confront Kramer about it
Fucking kek
George finds cute woman on tinder, goes on date
She supports Trump
George, as a beta, hates Trump but wants to fuck the woman
George pretends to be Trump supporter until he goes to a meeting with the qt and his beta male queerness comes out
Problem is, nobody would accept the comedy today because all the millennial and zoomer normies that would need to watch the show have absolutely zero sense of humor. Example:
>George discovered he is accidentally dating a tranny
>Has reservations about it when he finds out, it's sure to call tranny he or she
>Comedy ensues
>viewers call for the show to be banned for being transphobic
>end of the episode Puddy comes in wearing a MAGA hat
SCCCCCUMMMMM GANNGGG
>Kramer becomes obsessed with capeshit movies after a three day long marathon of them, and plans on making his own capeshit movie.
>Jerry, upon hearing Kramer's ravings about them, tries to recapture his youth and find some old Superman comics that he used to have.
>George in the meanwhile is convinced a girl on Tinder is catfishing him - Elaine is the one catfishing him with a fake Tinder because she finds his frequent rage over it to be hilarious.
>Kramer realizes he can't really get the rights to any major superhero, so he goes into the public domain and decides to make a movie adaptation of Stardust the Super Wizard.
>Jerry still can't find his comics (Which he marked with a 'J' to confirm they're his), assuming they were in his closet, but they aren't - but he does find a hole in the closet, and assumes it's rats or some shit.
>Time skip, Kramer's made the movie and intends on showing it at the upcoming film festival.
>George is still upset over being catfished, but can't break it off with her because he's this desperate. Elaine has taken to finding amateur nudes online of other girls and sending them to him, at one point doing it while he's in a meeting at work and making him nearly lose his shit. She finally "agrees" to go on a date with him to the local film festival, and says to look for a girl holding a rose. She then enlists a fat friend of hers to go.
>Jerry attends the film festival because he wants to support his friend, while trying to avoid interacting with the various hipsters and their own pretentious art projects, or complaining about them.
>George encounters his "date" there, has a breakdown.
>Movie opens with Kramer, dressed as Stardust, yelling "YOU ARE NOW IN THE POWER OF STARDUST. I AM THE ONE TRUE HERO." as he rips apart a bunch of Superman comics with a "J" crudely drawn on them.
>Jerry stares in disbelief, cue slap bass.
>The Gang goes to see Endgame
>entire episode is chronicling how they each hold in their pee for three hours
>a bunch of shenanigans and misadventures occur during the intermission
>Uncle Leo discovers social media
>Uncle Leo posts an old picture of Jerry as a child, nude in the tub
>Uncle Leo mistakenly gets charged with distributing indecent pictures of a child
>Jerry has to go bail him out
>”JERRY... HELLLLLO!...”
>Introduces an already uncomfortable Jerry to his cell mates in lock-up
>”And this is the boy who was in the naked pictures I took, hasn’t he GROWN?”
>Cell mates look about ready to shank Leo
>Jerry holds his hands up and backs away from the cell
>”Maybe you need a little time out to think about what you did, Uncle Leo...”
>Uncle Leo looks horrified
>”Jerry, you can’t leave me here... They’ll R A P E me!”
>Jerry backs out of building, holding hands up, doing his *nah* face
>Tyrone grips Uncle Leo’s shoulder
>Cut to later that day, in the apt.
>Jerry: “And that’s what happened... Hey what happened to you?”
>Elaine: “Oh who gives a shit? I got Herpes from Puddy, or some shit, fuck you.”
>Slap bass outro
Jerry meets a fantastic woman but discovers that she doesn't eat gluten and he can no longer date her
Elaine attempts to make a few extra dollars by being a cam model for a wealthy older man but ends up sending her video to her entire family
Kramer becomes involved in an MLM with one of those terrible weight loss wraps. He obsessively wears too many and ends up in the hospital close to death from dehydration
George lands a job at a startup company with a relaxed atmosphere. He hates that people bring dogs into work but bites his tongue when he talks to an attractive coworker with a very annoying dog. He is later caught on security camera taunting or jerking the dog's collar and is fired in disgust
9/11 made the west boring
Kramergate lmao hahaha
>George gets mugged in central park
>Mugger is black
>Black female reporter wants to interview George for the local news about robberies in central park
>George tries to describe the mugger without expressly mentioning their race
>Reporter gets increasingly upset with George's vague descriptions and presses him for more concrete details
>George finally snaps and screaming "IT WAS A BLACK MAN. A BLACK MAN ROBBED ME. HE WAS AS BLACK AS THE NIGHT SKY. ARE YOU HAPPY?"
>Reporter shakes her head at him as the all black news crew angrily glare at George
George is sold on the keto diet. Unfortunately, for some reason he can't get fit with it, he just gets the awful dino shits.
Kramer and Newman realize they can make good money by straw-purchasing baseball bats and body armor for both Antifa and various white nationalist groups who plan on going to "peaceful protests."
Elaine gets fired again and starts a blog where she interviews various New Yorkers she meets on the streets. However, she thinks her first interviewee may be a serial killer.
Due to some accidental clicks that fuck with Jerry's Google and Amazon user profiles, he keeps receiving targeted ads to buy refurbished school buses and essential oils.
underrated
No, Elaine makes $400,000 a month from Snapchat premium
>Jerry discovers Yea Forums
>tells George and Kramer about it
>how he keeps shitposting and making some guy called "the Janitor", that is online 24/7 do all the work for free
>getting on Janny's nerves day in and out with his green frog threads
>Kramer accidently slips it to Newman
>turns out Newman is the Janny
wait these ones are actually funny
Based
I was attending a small liberal arts college when Seinfeld was airing. There was only one person there who actively hated it: the school feminist dyke. That's right. There was only one of these people at the entire college.
There were other second-wave feminists of course. And bisexual ones too. But they were generally pretty sweet girls anyway. Only one patriarchy-hating dyke student. And only one patriarchy-hating dyke professor. And they didn't like each other because they were in competition for the submissive bi girls.
I miss the 90s.
kek
>noone said sixtyninefeld
come on guys
wow so original, did you think of that yourself? So many goddamn newfags in this thread. Fuck all of you
>They agree to meet up at MONKS diner
>George is complaining about his new job at a new york based silicon valley giant
>Jerry says he should be happy, a lot of people work super hard to get these jobs
>George announces he's actually a janitor
>Kramer bursts in and hurts his leg
>Monks is closing
>Elaine got back from surgery, it's benign but she still feels pain in her neck
>9/11
Jerry gets invited onto the Joe Rogan Experience after meeting Joe during one of his open mic bits.
Kramer begins developing a McDojo for the sake of making money - not just from the people who believe in his bullshido, who are motivated to learn self-defense after hearing about several muggings. Newman's the mugger and is working with Kramer.
George attempts to learn BJJ, but the only course he can afford is a women's self-defense course. In order to get involved, he claims he's gay and struggles to not get a boner while practicing with the other women.
Elaine is also in the course, and is intent on trying to stress him out into admitting he's straight by helping hook him up with a fake "boyfriend" who's actually gay.
How hard would it be to recreate the show. Obviously with all new people. Basically 1st episode new guy moves into apartment that some old comedian use to live and then you just continue from there. Insert new crazy neighbor(Kramer), insert new George, insert new Elaine, ect
I would be interested in trying it myself but I don't live in NYC and I feel like filming wouldn't work where I live
it would still be unfunny. dab on these boomers and zoomers.
>kramer orders a doctorate degree online from diploma mill
>"look Jerry, I'm a doctor"
>"a doctor of what"
>"I don't know, a doctor Jerry"
>Jerry starts dating a girl who is terminally ill
>Elaine says breaking up with her is ableist
>Jerry is out on a date with the sick girl, she collapses on the ground
>people start screaming for a doctor
>Kramer hears and comes running
>Jerry looks up and sees kramer
>funky bass
think it would be kinda hard, the characters as we know them were played to literal perfection by the old cast, the magic could be hard to recapture.
I dunno. is p. gud.
>J: twitter
>G: tumblr
>J: tinder
>G: tik-tok
*Kramer busts through the door*
>K: GRINDR!
>J and G: Grindr!?
>K: Oh, you have no idea!
Seinfeld is a show I still laugh at.
I'm 27.
I saw this youtube thing the other day with kids shitting on Seinfeld and I just couldnt believe it.
Seinfeld was deemed offensive... SEINFELD!!!
kms
>kramer buys shirt online
>one of those black and gold polos that proud boys wear
>accidentally ends up at a rally
>black block shows up
Heh
k grandpa
Underrated
This made me lol the hardest
#YadaYada
>k grandpa
Did you have your tide pods yet, youngin?
I laughed
GEORGE IS IFFY UH
KRAMER GOT THE STIFFY UH
Jerry speaking to the mother of an unarmed black teenager that was shot by police after robbing a store: What do you mean he did NOTHING? He musta done...*raises hand away from his body* SOMETHING...
The only roll that seems super hard to fill would be Kramer, like how do you find a Kramer?
I think all of them, with the exception of maybe Elaine, posses some sort of essential quality that is very hard to find in people. Jason Alexander is the perfect george, who else could play him like that? Who could play jerry with the monotone voice thing he has going?
There were mail order doctor degrees in the 90s you know. The Simpsons' Dr. Nick was based on them.
im 26 fuckwad old timer
Jerry gets addicted to avocado toast
One morning runs out of avocado
Jerry orders avocado toast from doordash
Kramer delivers avocado toast using Jerry's car
Jerry scream "but it's my car!"
Kek
Why hasn't anybody posted it yet?
Why are you gay?
Make him black. Then guilt the audience into loving him.
Why would jerry and friends be dressed like minorities when they are caucasian?
Its reddit wanting a second hand upvote/jej.
>soup Nazi episode remade to feature the chef wearing a MAGA hat
I feel like you could get a half-decent Kramer pretty easily, I imagine there's no shortage of le wacky funny guy actor-types
The real issue is in finding an Elaine that has comedic timing while also being willing to go along with the show and be as flawed as everyone else
wow that's envy, you're going to hell
You mean like Kaitlyn Olson in IASIP? She was popping from series to series trying to sink her claws into success. She was happily berated and cut down based on her looks for that role.
Imagine if you'd shown this to your 2007 self.
>this is what memes will look like in 2019
Seinfeld episodes aren't that hard to make apparently
I want a new season like this so bad!
Shut up bird
My point was that any fame whore would jump for the chance. Do you think they're going to hire a Meryl Streep type from the royal academy of actresses?
kino!
How many people in 2019 in their late 30s look like that?
This thread had my curiosity. Now it has my attention.
Checked and kek'd
jer ipod
ITT people apparently unaware that a variety of edgy subcultures and politics existed in the 90's
>George gets tinder
>”0 likes 0 matches Jerry! I’ve had this app a week and this has completely destroyed my confidence”
>”you had confidence before this George?”
>George starts looks maxing
>gets lifts, starts working out, shaves his head and grows out a beard, gets contacts
>”hey guys look at this *smug face* 10 likes 1 match since I’ve “looksmaxxed”
>George tries bragging to the group
>Kramer shows him his phone
>1000s of likes 100s of matches
>Kramer still pulls more tail than George ever did
>George ask Kramer what his secret is
>”I’m kramer”
>bass outro