Hee hee

>What's some kino about a life of regret?
Kingpin (1996)

The same thing happend to me

And the worst thing is that the girl was beautiful and she likes me

I think I'm going to kill myself

Some random girl tries to be nice to an autistic loser for one time. "I could have fucked her because she thought I was a loser!". No wonder you are a virgin you pathetic man.

Don’t do it user you have so much to live for. But post the livestream here if you do.

>several times a day the protagonist jolts himself with stimuli like closing his eyes and then suddenly reopening them with a bright light in his line of sight while blurting out "WAKE UP" hoping in futility that this is all just another bad dream, like the one where all his teeth were shattering while he was eating, or the one where the wind kept blowing him over in public and everyone was laughing at him

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>be a female dentist
>have to lean on a filthy neckbeard incel because it's my job
>scrub myself with dental sterilising fluid after work to get the virgin stink off

>mfw i rub my money on my penis and then go to pretty girl cashiers and give them my penis money

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Why do they smell so good anons

I remember once walking past a girl and my arm accidentally touched her breast as it was quite the narrow passage.

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Congratulations
You have HIV

>pretty girl cashiers

they don't even exist in my country

>hee hee

el ayuwoki?

I can one up you there bro

>the hottest girl in my grad class comes up to me on grad day while everyone is signing year books
>not even joking here, she was unanimously decided by my fellow male classmates to be the hottest girl of our class
>she writes her fucking phone number into my year book
>I literally don't call her, not even a text
>one year passes
>read my yearbook and decide to be an autist
>call her, no one answers, never call her again
>10 years later shes an actress now and lives in LA
>probably a roastie but w/e, shes still very attractive
>mfw I realize that the prom queen wanted to nail me and I didn't even make the attempt

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Every hairdresser I have ever had has been some roastie that's hit the wall, has dumb as shit tattoos of stars or some shit on her arm, shoes that look like something out of ancient eqypt, and clothes 2 sizes too small

Yes, typically you have a better chance of forming a positive relationship with someone who is nice to you than you do with someone who is not. Is that not how things work in the ESL world?

Why didn't my high school gf let me kiss her tummy?

The girl I liked offered me to come under her umbrella but I walked in the rain parallel to her despite her repeated requests. Got wet and became a loser

Why are you here, normalfag? You should just stay on reddit.

My dentist's office is entirely comprised of hot women. It's insane.

I still think about the petite qt who met my school shooter wandering gaze with the nicest smile I've ever seen and I just autistically nodded to her and kept walking.

better tell your mom to get tested then

You didn't offer her drugs user. You can't expect tumtum kissys without some drugs in return.

>WACKY FACE: The comic

No thanks

>3rd year in highschool
>finally get myself together to confess to a girl I been close friend for 3 years
>It's Women's day, I got a Single Rose, It's a Romantic Spring Morning
>I fucking do it
>"I dont think we would work well together user"
>mfw I got sad but deep down I know she was right

That was in 2009, I learned that some Man just meant to be Alone. I'm still in good terms with her. Visit her once a while since she lives near and we have BBQ with other Friends. She's a Happy relationship with someone for a 6+ years now.

Just accept your fate Anons.

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just because one skank didn't wanna bang you doesn't mean the others won't.

you chose this

...

Banging is not a Problem for, I use Tinder to hook up with Thots and have a 1 nighter. But I'm not a good person to have an actual Relationship.

>quirky nerd girl had a crush on me
>she is small and cute
>take advantage of her and have her give me her work so I can copy it
>teacher catches on and fails us both
>her straight-A record is ruined
>she switches schools a month later
owned slut

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thats clearly a personal issue then.

Based

Cant we just go back to early 2000s and get Goth girls back

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>hairline receding
>hair growing fast as shit on the sides so need a haircut often
>went to cut my hair
>lady goes "are you here again?"
>y-you too
>last time I went to cut my hair

now my gf does it for me, while mocking my hair

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>goofing around on campus
>put arms out like I'm going to jump off a step
>black girl stops and puts her arms out like she's gonna catch me
>jump
>land into a hug with her
>we hug for like 10 seconds
>asks for my number
>been dating her 3 years now
never be afraid of being a goof, it could always pay off

You act like dating a sheboon is a good thing.
I hope you die of AIDS niggerlover.

Unironically this, but the one I had gave me good ASMR for my haircut. The way her boobs lightly pressed against my shoulder and her smell and her light touch on my scalp all put together gave me goosebumps and made my pp hard.

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we were both virgins and don't do drugs, cope harder.

have sex now

Why do people want a gf so bad? Seems like an unnecessary hassle to me.

to cuddle and watch movies and stuff

Bend over then.

Warm wet hole to pour my seed into.

Also cuddle and stuff.

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>allowed to go to the movies without being stopped
>can play multiplayer video games whenever you want
>mouth feels good on peepee
>love feels nice
>family respects you

Cute and wholesome.

Enjoy your obsidian queen user!

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>ASS PENNIES

im just sick of paying the single male tax honestly

Sounds pretty gay. I'll stick with whores.

just cut your own hair

Must be nice to live in a shithole where whores are legal.

>touched younger girls a few times
>felt great

this would less concerning if we weren't on Yea Forums

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Where are whores illegal?

whores are legal everywhere m8, you just can't get caught giving them money, the transaction is the only illegal part.

>accidentally kissed 10 year old girl in a public toilets
>felt bad about it for the rest of the day

The Yoonited States of Murica

also in Leafland where I'm from it's illegal to buy sex but legal to sell sex, so Johns will theoretically be prosecuted but not hookers

I hate you faggots so goddamn much. I'm unattractive and something like that will never happen to me but you autists don't do anything about it.

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>also in Leafland where I'm from it's illegal to buy sex but legal to sell sex, so Johns will theoretically be prosecuted but not hookers

what a fucking clown country you live in lmao

>knew this girl for a few years
>went to a party and posted a clip of it on Snapchat because there was a live band
>she messages me “that looks fun where was my invite :(“
>already drunk so I shoot my shot
>dating for 2 years now and we’re currently living together
It fucking works, congrats on your gf user I hope you guys are happy together

I got mine cut a few weeks ago and got the most thorough hair washing yet. Dug her nails in my head and got real deep, fuck it felt good.

sounds canadian alright

Yep. Hairdressers are always old, ugly, and either look like Holocaust survivors or landwhales

Is that it, user? Is that was is in store for our lives? Just doomed to die without a touch of affection...

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>Canada, where's it's illegal to buy sex, but legal to make a dog give you a blowjob

cute

donate to my patreon

>get hair washed by girl
>she rubs too hard
>"careful it's sensitive"
>"like your cock?"
>feel really violated
>request she not wash my hair anymore
>nice old lady who runs hair salon fires her
>nice old lady gives me a free haircut and makes another hairdresser get me a free milkshake

when I go get a haircut I can tell the girls there don't want to do it and keep sending me to another girl. In the end it's usually a guy.

God damn it it fucking hurts

I know this feel.
>When they lean over you and their Bob brushes against your cheek

>be grade 12 faggot
>getting grad pictures taken
>everyones all dressed up nice and has to go in one person at a time to get their picture taken
>photographer is 20 something chick with a cute face
>she turns all the way around and I see her gigantic boobs
>she says hi and walks towards me
>they are so big they wobble around every time she moves
>she tells me to sit in a chair so she can do a little bit of makeup on my face to reduce glare off my greasy fucking face
>she leans in close and applies the powder
>god she smells nice
>can see a hint of her cleavage at her neckline
>she leans over to grab something and squishes her huge bowling ball sized titty into my face
>makeup powder spot on her black shirt where it touched my face
>sweet jesus have mercy
>she goes "whoops" and tried to wipe it off
>it just makes her boobs jiggle and wobble around
>she moves me to another chair and takes my picture in front of a backdrop
>take one last glance at her and never see her again

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based old lady

I believe in you too user

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Thanks man

>new girl comes to school
>she's pretty and two years my junior
>hangs out with a gaggle of idiots
>have one class with her were we talk a lot
>one day one of her friends asks me if I would date her
>she is standing right there and looking at me
>look back at her
>say yes
>person who asked me gets a confused look on their face
>no I said [some hamplanet taller than me]
>immediately turn and walk to the bathroom and vomit out of sheer embarrassment

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>say something funny in class that makes everyone laugh
>qt comes up behind me afterwards, hugs me, and whispers "shot user" in my ear
>can feel her boobs press against my back
>get surprised and push her away (on her shoulder)
>she says out loud "eww user just touched my boob"
worth it

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Who are you people quoting?

bait

>had a yearbook

NORMIE GET OOOOOOOUT

At what age were you?

>holocaust survivors
Everyone survived the holocaust

I don't know if I'm allowed to say

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I'm an uber eats driver and every time I pick up an order I immediately ejaculate from coming into contact with cute food service girls. I actually enjoy the rush. You don't understand how amazing it is to walk up to some innocent man's door with 5 orgasms worth of cum in your pants. He has no idea. He might smell something strange but he'd never guess that my pants are filled like a balloon with cum. One day I will grab a customer by the arm and unzip my cummy pants, spilling hours and hours of cum onto him. He'd never expect it. He thinks he's being friendly by saying 'hey, thank's for the food' but he has no idea he's about to be dripping with cum. My cum.

Mate you're only 30, just get it sorted before you ACTUALLY become old

hello, reddit!

>LOL HE MAKE FUNNY FACE
God I hate this imgur-tier """""""artist""""""

>school excursion with random activities
>one activity is cramming as many people as possible into an old car
>sitting in backseat
>hot girl sits on my lap, where I coincidentally had my hands with my palms up, didn't even notice it
>she sits down and I have two handfuls of yoga pants ass

>not having the same based gay guy style your hair since you were 4 years old

Sometimes I forget how lucky I am.

based capsguesser

>15 years old
>weird shut-in just playing video games
>hot girl knocks on door for me
>wut
>wants to hang out
>u-uh no m-maybe later
>stalks me on myspace
>tell her shes annoying
>virginity: protected

13 years later and im still clean

imagine having self esteem so shit you dont believe good things can happen to you haha LOL

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The place I go has different stylists with different prices/specialties/level of expertise, they might just be honest about feeling one of their peers would be better suited for what you want. Stuff like some fades requiring several different guards, scissors, and techniques followed by a blowdry straighten might just be too much for a girl who's used to trimming and styling women's long hair, where a quarter of an inch isn't make or break.

nah man I get basic haircuts and you can request for a specific stylist anyway

who

$10 bills

>completely destroy the self esteem of a girl that wanted to give you a chance

damn bro

You guys are all lucky pussies. You had a chance. You werent fucming ridiculed.

>2nd grade
>get crush with cutest girl
>we end up "dating"
>talk on phone while watching saturday cartoons
>even exchanged valantines presents
>we fade apart
>fast forward to 6th grade
>shes in same class
>reading some cat comic that all my bros read
>bro is reading one too
>she comes up to him and compliments him and asks about comic and is real "interested" touching him etc
>she sees me reading comic
>she makes fun of me
>only time in school I ever wanted to cry

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>2nd grade

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>implying that the girl wouldn't get self esteem boost refill in other ways from society

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oh yeah?

>sitting in class 6th grade
>popular girl calls out my name
>look
>she goes "not you the cool one"
>other guy behind me has the same name

haha you too

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>10th grade
>best friend starts dating girl
>girl's best friend is who guys called "the ass" (best ass on the whole school)
>we 4 start hanging out a lot
>im just a goofy guy never even crosses my mind I have a shot with the ass and am pretty much in love with her
>one night we're at the asse's home
>best friend and girlfriend tell us to go out to the balcony so they can make out (parents were in the house)
>me and ass on the balcony, fucking freezing
>she wears a tanktop and I wear a hoodie AND a jacket
>"wow user im freezing, that jacket looks really warm especially with a hoodie underneath and all..."
>"haha yeah its pretty warm (wtf are you stupid? your room is right there just get something to wear)
>"so user...are you dating anyone?"
>"nah..."
>"huh, thats weird youre such a handsome guy"
>"t-thanks"
>starts biting her nails
>"you really shouldnt bite your nails, you know"
>"well, I dont have anything else to keep my mouth occupied with so........."
>"whatever. hey those guys are taking too long maybe we should go back inside"
this shit happened 17 years ago and I think about it every single day since fucking kill me

>few years back
>hadn't been touched by a girl since highschool
>was 22 at the time
>girl touched my arm while talking to me laughing at what I was saying
>felt tingly heat the spot she touched for like 5 hours afterwards
>tfw the other day in one of these threads I realized *that* was the last time I was touched by another human being
>30 is right around the corner
>lack the fortitude for suicide

She was probably dared to do so by her friends so they could laugh at you if you indeed decided to call her or text something cringy.

>I literally don't call her, not even a text
You subconsciously noticed the ruse and ignored it.

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literally me. the greatest feeling in the world.

>go jogging
>same route passing the same cute girl every time
>exhausted and semi delirious one morning
>yell out HIGH FIVE as i'm running towards her
>she smiles and raises her hand
>on the way back see shes stopped at a cafe
>I stop
>say 'Oh great Focaccia bread! How did you know I was stopping?'
>she laughs, mistaking my greasy, juvenile austim for some sort of Mediterranean charm
It's been nine years and two kids so far.

>be a chad
>get gf

fuck you chads

geez man
that makes me want to kill yourself for you
I thought I was bad
> be in junior high
> blonde girl who looked like young kate Upton but better face and similar sized titties
> always nice to me whenever we talk which is rare because she's popular and I'm not
> been staring at her cleavage through her low cut shirts the whole year
>one of her orbiter friends asks me one day if I'd want to go out with her
> I tell him no because autism and refuse to admit Any interest in girls to anyone out loud
> see him walk back to milk truck who I had no idea was nearby
> starts talking to her
> realisation that he was sent by her to see if I'm interested
> completely ashamed go hide and eat lunch
> never talk to her again
> remain kissless virgin for the next 15 years

>shoes that look like something out of ancient eqypt
Show an example of this

>out with family
>group of girls ahead of us
>one turns around, looks at me and smiles
>family was like "damn user, you should get her number"
>me, the quipster "maybe she should get her eyes checked"
>laughs all around
>die a little inside

compare your misery to their joy

I walked head first into a girl during my weekly trip to the store, felt like an anime protagonist.

based race traitor

cute

>"wow user im freezing, that jacket looks really warm especially with a hoodie underneath and all..."
>"haha yeah its pretty warm (wtf are you stupid? your room is right there just get something to wear)
>"so user...are you dating anyone?"
>"nah..."
>"huh, thats weird youre such a handsome guy"
>"t-thanks"
>starts biting her nails
>"you really shouldnt bite your nails, you know"
>"well, I dont have anything else to keep my mouth occupied with so........."
>"whatever. hey those guys are taking too long maybe we should go back inside"

>tfw you will never be this retarded

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why are american girls such lascivious whores

On one hand you're a massive faggot for passing that up
On the other hand I know the feel and would probably be suspicious too

Mire threads are the most cringy thing on /fit/
>Yeah bro I was squatting and this thot glanced at me, MIRIN

It's not too late to turn the tide and create a better future

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i also had massive acne problems so didnt really believe anyone could like me. source of most of my problems now that i think about it.

norms always say this but they've been set for life since middle school

>early high school
>dicking around with classmates in the yard after classes
>girls from the same class approach
>they all are licking icecream
>one of the cuties smiles and offers hers for me of all people to have a taste
>weirded out, wtf she probably has her saliva all over it
>decline
>she looks confused
>cracks a joke about user being squeamish
>everybody laughs
>everybody but me gets what it was really about