ITT: we wait for the movie to start

*whips out penis and starts fapping*

M-MOMMYYY user'S GONNA CUMM!!!!

Fuck yea, who makes fun of commercials for no reason?

>go to a cinema with friend
>watching the trailers
>think one of the trailers looks good
>turn to my friend and say' 'that looks good'

*goes to the bathroom*

>does it in rhythm to the drumroll

ktre.com/2019/03/25/teen-shot-argument-reportedly-over-making-noise-pa-movie-theater/

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*eats all the snacks before the movie starts*

>that fucking group of loud stupid teens

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>*BBRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP*
>"WOAH NELLY THAT'S A RAW ONE"

>watching movie
>unexpected actor appears on screen
>”oh [insert actor name] showed up”

>staff walks up on stage
>"turn off your phones please"
>feel the need to give a cringy introduction to the movie
>"hope you all enjoy the movie"
>walks off the stage

There are theaters that actually do this?

SOMETHING TO SAAAAAAAAAAAAY
SOMETHING TO DOOOOOOOOOOOO

>checks phone

Put on my MOVIE FACE

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Yes, in Sweden.

>trailers start playing
>every single one looks like shit
>turn to whoever’s sitting next to me and say “that looks like shit”

that honestly sounds based, I have forgotten to turn off my phone a few times before and had to do it halfway through the movie

>pulls out gun

>spot a group of blackies a couple of rows down from me being loud
>As the lights are turned off I yell in full force "FUCKING NIGGERS"
>as the chimp out breaks out I sneak outside and complain about the disturbance

Waiting to watch Captain Kino

>*starts panicking because there might be a mass shooting and proceeds to come up with a plan to survive in case*

>hate people eating loud with open
>so I run the my
>get popcorn and extra large diabetes drink
>proceed to eat louder and louder
>every drink slurping "ahh yeah that's good"
>louder and louder
>at first people try to ignore
>trailers are going
>i'm getting louder and louder
>the open mouth popcorn as loud as talking
>movie starts up
>everyone is looking
>no one will say a thing
>LOUDER LOUDER "AHH YEAH THAT'S GOOD"
>everyone is upset
>in our trump era of passive aggressiveness no one will say a thing
>i'm eating so loud i can't even hear the movie
>halfway through the movie i run out of popcorn
>you can see relief in the crowd
>soda is out as well
>the plan has gone well
>it's time to push the retardation it's time to do the lowest and dumbest most rude most mentally retarded thing I can do
>I EAT ICE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS
>CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP
>leave movie theater 3 minutes before it ends
>come back in as they leave
>repeat the process
>I AM THE HERO

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Nigga there is no mutha fuckin band

That's why you get the bucket of popcorn. It is literally impossible to eat all the popcorn before the movie starts. Sure, it runs out half an hour in, but thankfully there's free refills at my theater, so it's no biggie.

Stop eating so much you fat fuck, the only acceptable thing to bring to the theater is a non alcoholic beverage of choice

i use to hate assign seating but love it now no more watching dumb shit on the screen because you got there early for good seats and i don't even watch previews just arrive when the movie starts

Jeez this thread made me want to go to the theater, is there anything good or at least entertaining showing?

Eh you tried here’s your (you)

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Is winona ryder in this film? I really need to rub one out

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based

>*hears the first capeshit quip*

*mom calls phone,sending off embarrassing anime OP ringtone*

waiting for godot

I did this once. I made the mistake of going to scary movie 3... it was full of black people. I got pissed.

>*metal gear ringtone sounds off near me*
>I yell "SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE"
True story

>movie trivia that's only challenging for the mentally inept starts playing

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Mot Ankhs is such a fucking hack

HEY WHO TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS, I'M DABBIN' OVAH HERE

*stands up*
*opens mouth*
youtube.com/watch?v=pls6OyJpCWg
*sits back down*

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Sometimes i go early with friends just to do that.

Answer: OTM Sneed

>then realise nobody ever wants to sit next to you.

Watching scary movies/comedies with a theater full of black people is kino retard

first post I’ve laughed at in months, thanks user

>loudly inhales
>YO THIS NIGGA FINNA GET DABBED ON

>pull out the snacks and stones i sneaked in

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bada bing

>asterick actions have gone full circle and now they're being used unironically again

>tfw "strong" beers aren't strong enough for me anymore

>the strong beer is sold cheaper cause theyre so bad
>tfw became alcoholic because i'm a cheap-ass
where is there to even go after pic-related

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This used to be my go-to. I stopped drinking it because I would always pass out without fail

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>Loud balls bouncing
ALL AROUND YOUUUUUUU

BEEEEEEEENIIIIISSSS

WHAT THE FUCK IS TAKING SO LONG

>Repeats intro in Somalian and Arabic

“I’m going to wait until the movie starts to open my candy, I don’t want it to get stale”

I've been laughing at this post for about five minutes and I don't really understand why.

looks like movie is starting

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>non alcoholic beverage
Do you only go to poor people theaters?

I'm not an alcoholic degenerate who needs to drink to have fun.

banger

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Is it ok I litterally started slaping my knee to this

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I don't understand either i don't even get why it was funny but I'm still laughing

TURN OFF THE FLASH YOU FUCKING RETARD!