How did this happen?

cancer.gov/types/anal/patient/anal-treatment-pdq

>Famously play a role of an extremely anal character.
>Gets anal cancer.
It's like poetry, it braps.

It’s an open secret that she loves anal

I might have anal cancer
I poop a lot
and my stomach hurts when I poop sometimes

She got it making a Veronica Auluv biopic

You can probably tell by looking at your shit

If you eat her ass will you get oral cancer then?

inspect your shit for dark red spots

I used to shit exclusively in my own home and shower immediately afterwards every time. I would wrap my middle finger in a mildly coarse washcloth, stick it up my ass, spin it around, pull it out, check for shit, rinse the cloth off and repeat until the cloth came out without any shit on it that I could see. I have a stack of about 35 washcloths that I would use to do this and whenever I would start to run out of clean ones I would wash the dirty ones. I would repeat this bathroom process as many times as I needed to in a day, though I would typically only take one shit and one shower per day.
I got a job though and i can't always hold my shit in until i get home, so now when i'm at work i basically do the same thing except with wetwipes followed by dry paper.
I try to do this as little as possible though and just stick to rinsing off in the shower because for a while i was getting blood in my stool and i thought that i might have colon cancer, but ever since i cut back it;s stopped. was probably hemorhoids.

>I would wrap my middle finger in a mildly coarse washcloth, stick it up my ass, spin it around, pull it out, check for shit, rinse the cloth off and repeat until the cloth came out without any shit on it that I could see
why though? your butt is where shit lives, it's meant to be there sometimes.

I used to be a sub-par wiper, it made me itchy, and I suppose I overcorrected a bit. I still don't like the idea of it being right near the entrance. Makes me feel like it's going to leak out.

Unironically based and OCD-pilled

Didn't Michael Douglas said he got throat cancer because of Catherine Zeta Jones pussy?

>Entrance
Not a Freudian slip btw. I'm not gay. I should've said exit! haha

You should get a bidet.

That would be nice, but for now my system is working. Thank you.

Warts. You can get the cancerous ones on your junk, up yer bum, and in your mouth. Steer clear of the whores and movie producers, kids.

This seems counter- intuitive to me. To me it seems like not only have you been finger blasting your own ass for years, but also you've most likely just been packing more shit into your colon and small intestine.

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Damn. I'd risk it for her pussy though.

I'm so lonely

>seems
No, that's what I've been doing. And would it really get packed in there? I just assumed anything left over would get pushed out when the next load comes along. I only get maybe a third of my finger up there.

I'm a straight guy, but I've experimented before and gotten my shit packed in by guys on two seperate occasions. Felt good, I loved being used and treated like a cocksleeve, put on my back and fucked until I was squealing from each little pump. It's not for me, though, I'm not gay. I couldn't stand kissing either of those dudes. Getting fucked was great, though. Sucking cock, too. It was oddly erotic to be on my knees, greedily slurping on a cock (both guys were pretty hung) until I could lap up the mess. That's probably what I miss most, now that I have a fiance. Every now and then I get a desire to suck cock, but I obviously can't.

It's okay for burgers to have a bidet now.
Come on over the good side.

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Ass sex? My fiance loves it in the ass, but I'm worried about the long-term health effects she might face.

I probably will eventually. I want one of those Japanese toilets that washes your ass, sucks your dick and does your taxes for you. Or something like that.

Well I'm not a doctor and the shit I've heard is just memes about pornstars getting fecal impactions and losing muscle control and whatnot. I guess if you're not going all out and shoving chair legs up there you're okay. Still, I'd rather just eat more fiber than do weird butt stuff to avoid skid marks.

>t.howard stern

based and assfingerpilled

checkin hard

what the fuck

Sounds weird, but how many of you niggers wouldn't be willing to take cock up the ass for five minutes if it meant getting to bang a supermodel for a week?

imagine the smell

I'd probably want to train my asshole with progressively larger dildos and lube for awhile beforehand, but other than that it's no question.