Why did critics hate it so much? Will we ever have a kino film about Jesus?

>thinking any Christian films are good
It doesn’t take religion to know what a cheesy preachy shitfest is

>and that's a bad thing

Jesus would have lived longer and gassed every jew if he had stayed alive

hmmm check the critics. oh that's right.

>a cheesy preachy shitfest
Sounds like most films

50% on RT

It wasn't the plan. The plan was to unite all the people and bring God's kingdom to earth. The kikes ruined it by killing him. The powerful part was that he forgives them anyway, and hence at least God didn't destroy the world. Although these days it seems like it would have been better if he did.

>The plan was to unite all the people and bring God's kingdom to earth.
What are you babbling about? Have you ever read the NT? Seems like not, so how is whatever ass you're pulling this from relevant to the topic?

If it "wasn't the plan", then why didn't God stop it?

(((liberal run media)))
Why can't you conservacucks name your greatest ally?

The plan was for everyone, especially the jews to convert to Christianity. Makes me wonder what the fuck God was actually thinking since jews are still around and more powerful than ever

why is mary wearing a hijab

Ben Hur

Jesus only set out for Jerusalem in the last days of his life, knowingly going to his death to accept punishment for mankind. He spent the first 33 years of his life as a traveling preacher and healer. He didn't know at that time he was to be killed. He preached that he had come to unite all the people of earth in peace, and bring about heaven on earth... which is what the messiah was meant to do. It was only in his last days that he saw that humanity was not ready, and that God meant to destroy humanity because of their failures. It was then that he went to death to take our sins upon him and have God spare us.

Great movie.

Nice fanfiction, buddy

That isn't a hijab and literally all women wore scarves until about 1930. My grandma wore a scarf for regular chores in the 90s. And she was a Methodist.

Go to yahoo.com and type in Jesus 40 days.

The plan failed obviously. Which is why Christianity is a stupid religion. Christ was a prophet and did have magic powers, but he wasn't a messiah obviously, since the world is even shittier now than before he came. Gnostics teach that God sends many prophets with the goal of bringing heaven to earth, and they just all have failed so far.

Women used to be modest.
Also, the middle east is harsh as fuck on your skin. Why do you think 13 year old arabs look 40?

Jesus only went to Jerusalem to die in his last days. What the hell do you think he was doing his whole life before that?

Ben Hurr, The Ten Commandments, The Prince of Egypt.

That's actually not what he said, brainlet. He said the movie is slow and boring.

>peter
>woman

>cheerless
Oh for fucks sake, please don't tell me they're comparing this to capeshit...

christ kino

That's not what he's saying brainlet. He's saying when they could have supported an anti-patriarchal message, they instead embraced the religion which in their minds supports this patriarchy.

Jesus killed jesus moron
Read the fucking bible

He specifically mentioned Christian piety.

Christianity is patriarchal numbnuts thats exactly what hes saying

The film is very anti-Patriarchal already. Mary convinces Jesus to teach to women, and Jesus tells them to disobey their husbands and fathers. Its one of the most important scenes in the film. They are just mad that the film didn't replace Christ with Jesus.

If critics didn't like "cheesy, preachy shitfests" they wouldn't praise dogshit like Moonlight.

Because they have a perpetual fucking victim-complex.

History is "racist" Jews did something that is unflattering.

They dont mind their religion being preached obviously, just competing ones.

>DURRRRR, WHY GOD NOT JUST SUBVERT FREE WILL?????

Clearly 9/11 was also in God's plan, since he didn't literally reach down from fucking Heaven and stop the planes.

Fuck you're a massive brainlet.

Well the people who died in 9/11 weren't deities

I imagine God would feel different about saving random new yorkers than he would saving his son

>OF ITS OWN
As in unique interpretation specific to this film.
>they instead embraced the religion
See above. 4channel needs a literacy test in place of captcha.

9/11 was done by the US government, which is working with satan.

>TFW no quick talking quips from peter
>soldiers surround disciples
>tense strings continue to build up as they draw their weapons
>peter let's out a fart
>soldiers stand around looking to each other. One covers his nose. Another goes to speak but stops himself.
>fart continues then stops.
>come with us jud-
>fart continues again
>soldiers look impatient. Fart stops.
>come with-
>fart starts then stops
>soldier is visibly annoyed
>come-
>fart starts then stops again
>co-
>fart
>stop
>fart
>stop that
>fart
>stop that right now I know it's on purpose
>farts over each word
>soldiers begin snickering and lead soldier grows red faced.
>Enough! Seize them!
>out of place modern pop culture reference.
>Uproarious laughter.exe

Attached: wew.jpg (749x596, 70K)

for making Saint Peter a negroid

That seems like a bad monty python sketch, not capeshit

>I'd imagine God would
Stop. You are limited being of limited intelligence. You don't even understand very basic things. Stop trying to understand God. Its like a mouse trying to understand General Relativity.

>Soldiers show up and surround Jesus
>Soldier: "Jesus of Nazareth, you are coming with us"
>Disciple steps forward, face covered by scarf
>Disciple: "You'll have to go through me"
>Soldier: "Any man who defends this blasphemer will meet the same fate"
>Disciple unshrouds face, its Mary
>Mary: "And fate shall a woman meet"
>She whips out a bow staff and smacks the soldier down. 30 more soldiers line up and are taken out one by one
>Mary stands on the middle of the beaten men, sweating, as they groan in pain. She looks at Jesus.
>Jesus: Keep that up, and there won't be any of Herod's men left for God to judge