Why didn't they just go through the back door?

No, you can make round things without lathes

but accurately and at a large quantity?

Why didn't they just take the eagles?

Eagles obviously

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Why didn't the Americans just invade Europe through the backdoors?

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I'm sure there's 1 or 2 doormakers in the Shire who've been doing it all their lives, so yes.

Do you imagine hobbiton was mass producing round doors or something?

I mean they did go through Italy too. Luckily they didn't have the pressure of throwing Hitler's ring in to Mount Germania

ofcourse. they are too lazy to build them manually.

Pretty sure the main army of Gondor wasn't at Minas Tirith

Because Gollum was telling Frodo he knew how to get in. Frodo saw some good in Gollum and decided to trust him. I mean why go all the way around when you are being offered a shortcut. Also in the opening of RoTK we see they are running low on supplies and energy and there is still quite a treck to Mordor. There'd be no way to resupply along the way.

It was at the Battle of Minas Tirith. After that, the main army of Gondor was very small and went to the Black Gate with Aragorn and the lads. If Frodo had taken an extra day to get to Mount Doom, they would have been destroyed.

This 2bh, so many lives could have been saved
Was iq historically lower in the past? Are we getting smarter as time progresseses? ::thinking::

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>why didn't they take a 20 times longer trek through enemy territory, via the Nurnese (Nurnian?) supply lines

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>2bh

It stands for "to be honest"

Yeah this, they had no choice but to go directly to Mount Doom. The LotR shitposts get worse every day.

Not really. There isn't enough food and water to come from round that way, it would have taken too long, they wouldn't make it through enemy territory. Bravo braindead user.

I still have not heard a good reason why they did not use the eagles unless Mordor had anti-aircraft guns

why didn't they fly on the eagles though

Stands for I have a one digit IQ

exactly, even gandalf realized this

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Alright, tough guy (LOL)

Yeah, except none of the rest of the group had mastered the art of dealing with eagles
Kind of a dick move to call them out on the eagle thing when only he could actually get the eagles to fly them to Mt Doom

i know youre probably joking by tolkien conveniently wrote that the eagles dont care about middle earth and they only helped gandalf after balrog fight b/c galadriel asked them to

how does the shire defend itself, bookfags?

bravo jackson

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It doesn't

The eagles are illuminated centrists.

if they don't care then why did they bother helping men in battle and saving frodo and sam?

Why didn't Frodo just put the ring in his ass?

By being irrelevant, the same way all small countries in the world do.

they don't need to defend themselves since no one gives a fuck about some village of midgets

Why didn't they gather their finest minds, calculate the trajectory, and simply build a big catapult to precision launch the ring into the top of Mount Doom?

Sauron was a gay man, it's why he's portrayed as evil to begin with, Morgoth was his boyfriend by the way
Digging elbow deep into Frodo's ass wouldn't have been a problem

>put on ring
>become invisible
>reach mount doom easy
>throw it in
>run away
god, tolkien was an idiot

too risky. if they missed the ring would land inside mordor, which is literally the worst thing that could happen.

but the ghost dudes can see ya

Sam would turn invisible with each stroke

ok serious question: why not sail with the ring to Aman AKA the Undying Lands? why not get Círdan the Shipwright and take the boat we saw at the end of return of the king? either the ring in the undying realm would be completely unreachable by sauron or he would have to go across a vast ocean to a realm he may not even be able to reach and fight the most powerful elves and demi-gods to even get his ring

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The Valar control who and what gets to go to the undying lands. They want it to be a perfect land, and the ring is essentially concentrated spirit of evil. The Valar would not have allowed it on their continent (because they are selfish shits).

On top of that, it is mentioned that Sauron would win even without the ring, it would just take longer.

It doesn't until the four hobbits from the fellowship return and help them fight back.

The eagles aren't just dumb beasts. They're the servants of Manwe (the king of the gods, basically) in Middle-Earth. They do Gandalf favors every now and again because he's a pretty cool dude (and Manwe is the one who sent him to Middle-Earth), but you can't just order them around.

It's implied goblins developed all kinds of shit besides just bombs

read the book niggers or stop pretending to know the answer
>what is the scouring of the shire

He doesn't need the ring, but you have to destroy the ring to stop him.

Dunedain rangers are protecting its borders.

Because they opted to take the side door. Worked out alright, all things considered.

GOT THE SUN IN MY FACE

Why didn't Gondor call for reinforcements from the kingdom of Jojojojo from the South-East?

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You underestimate what a skilled carpenter can do with wood. Shit, I could probably knock you up a round door and frame with enough time and the materials and I'm usually a metal guy.

is that from one of those russian fanfiction

>kingdom of Jojojojo
is that a motherfucking...

"We must hold this course west of the Misty Mountains for forty days. If our luck holds, the Gap of Rohan will still be open to us. From there our road turns east to Mordor."
t. Gandalf

Rude 2bh

Why is Mordor part of the Khanate of Khand? Is this fourth age fanfiction?

Also, all the kingdoms in the canon area are long dead except Rohan and Gondor.

Rangers. Also it helps that they're out the way and nobody is really interested in them.

>Khand
>Horse people from steppes
BRAVO TOLKIEN YOU HACK

You can summon them if you get 25 power points

There was no plan. Plans can fail or be sabotaged so it's better to make it up as you go along. If they did have a plan, or Gandalf survived Moria and offered guidance, they wouldn't have waited so long at the Falls of Rauros and Boromir would survive.

why didn't they just sail to the edge of the world and throw it overboard?

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>literally Africa in the south
Excuse me, what the fuck?

Middle Earth is round in the 3rd age.

>try to look up maps actually made by tolkien
>find one asking the same thing
>"here's a map made by X"
>X is not tolkien

>Sultanate of Raj
>Woman Empire

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Because Sauron was winning without the ring anyway, they destroyed it to eliminate him completely

if sauron didnt have a physical form then why did he hoard gold

Isn't this map completely wrong? Utumno is north of the iron mountains, similar to Angband. Why the hell is it all the way over there in the East?
Is there a single fucking Lord of the Rings map that actually bothers to pay attention to every detail? Jesus christ

By the man himself.

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better quality but still everything outside of middle earth looks like shit, tolkien should have hired someone to make his maps for him

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If they wouldn't allow evil on their perfect land, then why did Ungoliant dwell in Avanthar when Melkor found her?

If only to keep grubby fan fiction off of arda in terms of geography
but maybe that would've encouraged it more in terms of stories

You really only need basic woodworking tools, and at most some basic metallurgy (as in hand beaten nails or pins for hinges. If it has a latch mechanism that's the most complicated part, but you could still do it with some skill.

they literally did this (the southern arrow)

She controlled Darkness and could shroud herself easily. The Valar aren't omnipotent or omniscient either.

The Darkness also lets her and Melkor approach the trees and fuck shit up

Correction, you have not understood the good reasons you've heard in the last 20 years.

Sam forgot to bring lube.

>Tyranids

Why were the coming from the south and not the north?

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do you have any idea what that would entail? the russians were already recieving huge amounts of vehicles and supplies just to keep fighting.
Sending a large US force overland, North of Japan? It would not only be super risky and easy to attack but they didnt have a staging area to ship to. They would have had to drop troops and supplies so far North that the supplies would be used up just getting to the eastern front.
Not to mention that they did actually attack through Southern France, it was just delayed.

yeah I remember that confusing me to the point where I assumed they were haradrim

Why not simply cast the ring into Thangorodrim?

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>1
Isn't that underwater in the 3rd age?
>2
Not sure any volcano would actually destroy the ring right?

>GANGBAND

What did Tolkien mean by this?

should have just thrown the ring at the bottom of the khazad dum, seriously who the fuck would go down there and find it?

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Tolkien's stuff is meant to be a fictional historical account of our world's mysterious past. Middle-earth changed dramatically through the ages (started out flat, physically connected to the Undying Lands, ended up a globe with Undying Lands floating the fuck away from all the mortal bullshit down below, also the universe was geocentric for a while during one of the ages). The events of LOTR occur during the end of the 3rd age, and 4th age is marked by the rise of human empires, the slow seeping away of magic, the extinction of mythical beings and beasts and the geological upheavals that brought about the real-life continents we're familiar with. If I recall correctly, the Bronze age was about the midpoint of the 4th age (civilization collapse and technological regression occurred at some point after Aragorn's reign, I guess), and the rise of the Roman Empire was at the tail end of it. The length of each age shortened as they passed, so according to Tolkien, we live in what would now be either the 6th or 7th age.

You know it needed to be destroyed, not just hidden

yeah but he still would have won without the ring

There's literally only allies of Sauron east of Mordor. If you're gonna walk through enemy territory it's smarter to take the shortest way.

Yeah just give it to the Balrog bro what could go wrong

Because of the Easterlings. After is defeat by the hands of Isildur (and prior) he spent a lot of time in Rhûn and Harad making them his servants of him and his master Morgoth. It would be to costly.

I don't think the location is entirely consistent throughout, but yeah that map seems like bullshit. It can't be right next to the lamp

This AND fuckn SAURON himself would see him constantly.
Can´t hide when the BOSS constantly watches ya.

Angband was built on the ruins of Utumno, iirc

a lathe to turn one of those doors would be massive, completely unsafe for shaping with hand tools, complex, impractical, and no way more efficient than doing it by hand. The way to build that door would be to join boards together until you have the rough size you need, drive a nail roughly in the center, tie a string around nail with the other end fixed to a marking device (probably a scriber), pull tight and walk around the piece. Bam, you got a perfect circle, rough cut by hand, sand to the scribe line. Jambs and trim could be steam bent to shape, cut from large stock like the method above, or by using cuts of wood where the grain matches the arc.

>what is operation Dragoon

This was probably Gandalf's plan

the correct route is through the top of norway down sweden and into pomerania

t. hobbit

There were easterlings from Rhune that protected that way

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I thought they only helped Gandalf because he saved the king eagle or whatevers life once?

would have been shot down or attacked by nazgul, stealth was everything in this quest.

On tolkin’s early writings. Later he revised it so that angband was on the western part of his realm.

Middle earth asians would've eaten those hobbits and use their dicks as medicine.

The wheel pre-dates functional guns by about 4000 years.

Dear God...imagine walking though a near desert with no cover for app. 500 miles, and avoid being caught by Nazguls and orc patrols from Ered Lithui
Then march from hostile territory populated by agressive tribes who worship Sauron as a god
Then go though the very heart of Mordor, avoid being caught by tens of thousands of orcs that dwell there
THEN, go past Barad-dur and Sauron's center of power and throw the ring into the heavily defended Orodruin
All that before Sauron sent all his host out of Mordor
Piece of cake xD

Ah, I do mostly read the older versions now.
Still, Utumno was always in Beleriand right?

what the fuck are you doing

Clearly posting with my trip on by accident, silly. Was it so hard to understand?

don't ever do that again

You know, when I was a kid, and I was reading through for the first time, this map was in the back of the book. I'd always flip back there as I was reading and try to imagine where they'd wind up going. The entire time, I thought that was the route they were going to take. For some reason, I didn't think there'd be a pass through the mountains.

It'll probably happen again, hopefully not this week though

>going that deep into the wildy
just imagine the nasty things that live out there

Bandobras “Bullroarer” Took

Im pretty sure this map is complete fanfiction, only map of arda that shows more land than just middle-earth area is showing the world before fall of numenor

youtube.com/watch?v=A8ZZmU8orvg

Wow...

East of Mirkwood looks pretty empty

Dont know exactly whats down but its likely mostly remnants of Morgoths creations and evil valar like the Balrogs so they'd probably get the ring and it would fall into Saurons hands somehow or it would be almost as bad as him getting it.

so how would Sauron's power increase if he got the ring? Yeah he would've won anyway, but even with it on apparently you can still cut through his gauntlet and fingers like butter.

There is only one evil Valar and he is in prison.

Balrogs used to be Maiar.

I guess he'd be like in the intro where he smashed people everywhere with his mace. I am assuming he's kind of normal like Gandalf and Saruman during the films just uglier, but he only really needs his armies after all.

Meant maiar of course like the sneedrogs

He would get more powerful than he was during that time but getting the ring back would mean he could take physical form again.

Depends how much power he could get back with it, he used be able to shapeshift to pretty much anything, including to a most beautiful being in the world.

I think he was cursed never to be able to look beautiful again. Or was that Morgoth.

was he an incel?

It was Sauron. He lost the ability after he physically "died" during the sinking of Numenor.

It's been left out in reprints, but in the first edition there was a maptext saying 'Here be niggers'

Tom Bombadil

That's hundreds if not thousands of more miles going through the territory of Rhun Easterlings, a foe so dangerous they took out the allied forces of humans, elves and dwarves in the Kingdom of Dale.

It is a plot device that it is even there as well.

Rangers, but the Hobbits can arm a militia if the need arises like in the Scourging of the Shire.

this thread is amazing bait
why didn't they just use the eagles

> He thinks Beleriand is north of Eriador.

>t. uneducated clapistani

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Seems like a really comfy profession making custom quality round doors for your fellow townspeople.

This is actually mentioned in the books. They have local constables who are responsible for watching the borders and the gateways through large thick hedgewalls on the outskirts of the shire. If they find any foes they raise the alarm and the hobbits form a militia.

In the books, the Black riders force their way into the town that Frodo pretended he was moving to and the Tooks raise the Horn call of Buckland. The Black Riders flee before the Hobbit militia organizes.

There's a prologue which mentions that just beyond living memory during a particularly harsh winter, the river froze over and the wolves invaded the Shire en-mass and were fought off by the Hobbit militia.

Buckland isn't the Shire proper, though. It's across the Brandywine

True but the constables cover the entire Shire and the wolves invaded the whole Shire I believe.

They did

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...

Neat, I love Tolkien autism

Didn't they also send archers to some battle? I think it was mentioned at the beginning of the fellowship

Only Gandalf knows, but he was probably going to wing it when they got close to Mordor. There were likely other passes into Mordor not on the map or in the text, but as Gollum pointed out, all of them would be watched anyway.

They would have been spotted long before they got close to Mordor and Sauron would have realized what they were doing and fortified Mount Doom befor they got there.

Sneaking up to the borders of Mordor and then doing a short flight to Mount Doom May have been an option, and indeed maybe that was Gandalf’s plan, but it couldn’t be done once the Fellowship broke up.

That's jojojopo.

Would that route have been covered by their insurance structure?

>Harad
>Far Harad
BRAVO TOLKIEN

Uhh put the ring on a talon to go invisible

Rhûn and Harad literally mean “East” and “South” so Tolkien was a lazy git with his world-building beyond what was plot relevant.

They did but it's not flat and easy, there's mountains in the way in the south.

Hardly, he just didn't have time. I mean the man invented languages, songs, poems, mythologies, maps, love stories etc. all to fill his World, I don't think you can accuse him of lazy World building by any stretch of the imagination. There's only so much one man can do.

Lazy niggers in nigeria

The Hobbits claim they sent soldiers to fight in a battle but no other history has any record of the Hobbits being there.

you absolute moron

I believe them

It's from MERP - Middle earth roleplaying game. I do like it myself, especially one female nazgul.

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The Old Took fought in a battle

merp.fandom.com/wiki/Middle-Earth
Here's the wiki link for a lot of stuff and a map. Though you can also find most of sourcebooks on Internet.

I'm fucking blind. Someone please circle the kingdom of Jojojojo for me

someone who's not very creative is making fun of the flood of weird names in tolkien's works, sorry user

but funny that it still worked

One does not simply walk into back door

The nameless things. Things older and possibly more evil than Sauron.

Like, Cthulu?

>"Far, far below the deepest delving of the Dwarves, the world is gnawed by nameless things. Even Sauron knows them not. They are older than he. Now I have walked there, but I will bring no report to darken the light of day."

Besides that, Tolkien did not elaborate on their nature. They could be corrupted Maiar, or creatures created during the Music of the Ainur.