"Jordan it's ya boi here! Yeah dude I just saw your new movie, awesome stuff dude - ''nooice'' haha, remember that one...

>"Jordan it's ya boi here! Yeah dude I just saw your new movie, awesome stuff dude - ''nooice'' haha, remember that one? I guess my Oscar party invite got lost in the mail last time or something, man isn't that crazy? Haha well anyway feel free to call me anytime, you know if... if you'd like me to do a cameo or something in your next project. I'm pretty busy these days but I can make time for you buddy haha... anyway... looking forward to your call. I'm Keegan."

youtube.com/watch?v=FnEW6dX_BmU

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Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=02cSc5a49LA
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god damn

JUST

For a millionaire like him 34k isn't even that much.

>dropped by his best buddy into making kino yet he's reduced to do shitty dubbing gigs and commercials
>has to paid his ex-wife 34k/month
JUST FUCK MY SHIT UP

I can't stand the way women act after a divorce. There isn't an ounce of humanity.

Funny they pretty much did this as a sketch already.

youtube.com/watch?v=02cSc5a49LA

He is turning white. Not WASP white but Ben Kingsley 'white'.

The funny thing is Key has a pretty good voice and would do a much better job narrating the new Twilight Zone show than Peele will.

why get married anymore, especially if you're aspiring to be even half way successful (like he is). honest question. from the word go you already are on the hook for at least 20% of all your assets, then the longer you're married, the more she's entitled to receive. god forbid if you actually get rich/famous and now she has to be able to 'maintain her lifestyle', on your dime
>34k a month on someone who doesn't like anything about you but your money
i could be a billionaire and still be pissed im basically putting fire to a brand new car every month

It's his choice. He can just murder her, but guess he'd rather pay 34K/month. Also this behavior further allows whores to act like this, therefore directly making the lives of thousand men worse.
It's like politics. If you don't like something - do something about it. If you don't do anything, then you secretly like it.

>*cough* Jordan....i'm not feeling too good *wheezes* please I just need to eat...

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I'm wondering if you've ever been married and how old you are

>yea just kill your ex-wife bro xD
Jesus Christ, Yea Forums.

He's half white by his own admission.
34k being snatched from him every month will quickly turns those millions into nothing.
He'd have to increase is income 3x just to compensate.

>why get married anymore
It's not about how marriage can hurt you, it's that as you grow older being unmarried eventually hurts more.

>For a millionaire like him 34k isn't even that much.
You're one of those dummies who thinks a million dollars is a lot and say dumb shit like "Why is X celebrity asking me to donate to charity why don't they pay for it." because your understanding of money is complete garbage.

Why do people still get married? If you get cucked by some slut it's your own fault.

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34k times 12 is 408k
408k times 10 is 4.08mm

add in legal fees, agent fees, taxes and a fizzling career

Is he the new Jenna Fischer?

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That's 400k a year, man. He's not Bezos or somebody who will be set for life no matter what. He has a few bad years career wise and he'll be reduced to Brendan Fraserdom.

Both Key and Peele are mixed race, half white half black
When the show started all the commercials were about that

I always thought that woman in the video was his real wife.

why does he pretend he black?

Key is going to have to retreat into voice acting or something, his acting appeal is already dead. He did to many cameos, spread himself thin.

>marries an old hag
>starts to get successful
>she sees no use in being married to a mulatto comedian anymore now she can retire and rake in his giggle bucks
>proceeds to get married again while still divorcing the granny
>most likely didn't do a prenup
The first wife is always the ones that decide to cash out. They feel they're obligated monetary reward for sticking with your sorry ass while you fought to make it to the top.
To be honest it's expected.
It's when the second or if you're just retarded third+ wife leaves you need to seek therapy because you can't be happy alone and always have to be married when it doesn't work for you.
I hope he stays at two.

Then just pay your good boy tax, like a responsible adult should. Don't play the fucking victim if you have a decent alternative.

He's supposedly valued at 7 million, and 34k a month is almost half a million a year. He spent decades to get to that amount, he's not earning several millions a year.
I'd be worried.

he needs the "just fuck my shit up" crown

>I can't stand the way women act. There isn't an ounce of humanity.
Ftfy

As a voice actor he has no variety so all his roles will be the male black character of varying adult ages and talking animals/inanimate objects.
As for live action roles he's another loud "black" guy bit part actor. Doing his Luther character or the white talking "black" guy who has a run in with the main character.
Jordon Peele knows he can't get a real role acting so he's turned to producing shitty black people horrors. Maybe Key should do the same.

he is half black

His problem is that he's not black enough to fill that angry black man niche. Nobody buys it when he does it cause he looks like some Arab mutt. It's hopeless for him.

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I'll help him out. I'm worth $45 million

Is there a way to know that you've got a good woman before you marry her? Is there even a difference between a good woman and a bad woman?

100% the ex wife fucked her lawyer who then advised her on how to suck as much money out of key as possible

why are american laws(actually, divorce laws) so fucked up?
i thought women worked nowadays, bitches arent housewifes anymore. why the fuck do you need to pay for her shit the rest of your life? cant the bitch get a job? jesus christ

Alot of men already stopped marrying because of this. But women are already adjusting, look up palimony. They can half your shit if you just been in a relationship with them. Some of the most cucked countries like Canada are already pushing it.

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Reunion? It hasn't even been ten years since the first episode aired.

EVEN BEFORE THE ALIMONY HE WAS JUSTED BY PEELE

THIS IS INSULT TO INJURY

He doesn't even have syndication money so he's in trouble for sure.
That Toy Story 4 check and residuals better be generous.
Ask his boy Seth for a few roles on Family Guy or American Dad.

JUSTed

>look up palimony. They can half your shit if you just been in a relationship with them
jesus

Don’t care if these rich assholes have to pay alimony, I feel bad about the average man who is broke and can’t rely on anyone but himself

Does he really not get residuals from Key & Peele? If so then he deserves all this for being a fucking idiot

Holy fucking shit, are incels going to be looked up to in the near future???

>man ends a relationship
>yeah i just got bored of it i guess, hope things go well for her
>women ends a relationship
>HE ruined everything HES just not good enough for me I deserve better and more
like clockwork

To be fair, it works both ways. It depends on who the highest earner is.
But it's still fucked up, the amount they're allowed to juice you. I do get alimony to a certain extent. Because transitioning out of a relationship where you weren't making that much money, can be devastating to your livelihood. But the courts go too far. Alimony should never last more than 2 years. And should never cost more than the cost of necessities.

>Key was married to actress and dialect coach Cynthia Blaise, from 1998 until 2017.[34][35] He married actress and director Elisa Pugliese on June 8, 2018 in New York City.[36][37]

She is either 10 years older than him or she aged like milk. Given how promptly he got re married, he was most likely the one having an affair.

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What the hell are you talking about? That's 408,000 a year.

>Cynthia Blaise
He appears to have terrible taste. Naturally I couldn't do better, but I'm not famous.

This. My sister just got a divorce from her last husband and she's already moving more than 1000 miles up north to pennsylvania to shack up with another man. She even made my now former in-law take care of the fucking cat she insisted on having.

He divorced one white hag just to pick up another. Guy's got a type

Yeah she is not much better and will age just as fast as her other wife. I can understand wanting to trade your wife once you become rich but you figured for 34k a month he would do it for a much younger and hotter wife.

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>implying it matters who your cover is
dudes into boys

Oh what a nice change of pace for Yea Forums, a thread where incels whine about women.

its not how marriages work, you cant marry someone in their 20s and expect it to hold, you marry someone +-10 your own age you actually like then fuck whores on the side

have sex

Have sex

>countries like Canada are already pushing it.
Canadian who took some law classes in university here: we already have it. If you live with your partner for more than half a year and break up, they can try to get it.

Solution: don't live with your partner.

Is Key and Peele in schedule rotation on Comedy Central?
Even then that's one channel.
When I think syndication residual I think Seinfeld, King of Queens, New Radio years ago. Those shows that get sold to multiple stations for rebroadcast so the people involved get multiple checks coming to them.

Moar Liek Keegan-Michael JUST...i don't know what i'm doing with my life anymore.

Hope you don't mind if your wife does the same.

There is no good reason for divorce. Marriages are failing because people no longer have the incentive make them work, everyone has an easy out. You should only have one shot at it, if you can't make your first marriage work then you can separate but you'll have to deal with no longer being able to marry another person. Adultery and any other extra marital affairs needs to be a punishable offense.

OH NO NO NO BRENDAN GAVE HIM THE JUST

She's 14 years his elder.

He got his penis genes from his white side most likely

>we hope he was dead inside
Ftfy

>classed as black
>small penis
>wife taking $34k from him each month
Murder/suicide when?

>look up palimony
This isn't just a Canadian thing but depending on where you are, who the judge presiding is, and the financial situation Palimony can be forced on you in the states.
Especially once the subject of common law marriage comes into play.
Pretty much don't play house unless you want the law to step in to make it legit. Like it or don't.

>the season finale of Twilight Zone is a real found footage of Key viciously stabbing Peele to death and fucking the remains

How could they do my boy like this?

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oh no no no no no

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:(

He keeps marrying no name white women in the production side of the industry.
Like when he come home after shooting the shit with famous actors and comedians what is she suppose to talk about to him?
This nigga met Obama and paled around with Keanu Reeves.
I have a feeling it was an Anna Faris scenerio.
Her husband is gone on set of movies and TV shows, is around younger women, she's at home getting older (she's 14 fucking years older than him), you start to worry that he might cheat, you might even cheat out of jealousy with no proof he's doing the same (this happens look it up), and you drop the divorce bomb on him.
Women are like cats if you aren't there all the time tending to their need you're considered dead and they will run off once the door is open.

Alexa, find me a job

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NOT THE SUBARU!!

THIS IS ENTIRELY NEW LEVELS OF JUST

>What Jordan is thinking: this bitch is gonna fuck him over in a couple years and JUST him as well
Why didn't Jordan warn him bros?

Not only the Subaru but the timeshare too. This bitch is gonna get to drive to free vacation homes with her free car and use her free spending money.
That's fucked.

It's part of his next horror spec.
Have to see where this goes.

She was too old to have kids so he dodge the child support bullet.

In the military, you basically get paid over twice as much AND get a free house instead of having to reenact the opening of Chicken Run every fucking weekday in your cold apartment just for putting a ring on it.

On what fucking planet is this even remotely true?

Deja vu
Holy shit I seen this in my dream the exact post and images

They do this because children raised by a military family is far, far more likely to join up in the military also.
It's a giant incentive to get you pump babies out just for being in the army.

The more you know!

>half a year
Holy fucking shit what, i asumed it was 5 years at least or some shit. Why is the american continent so fucking cucked. What's wrong with you people?

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Ya'll are out of your minds if you think Keegan Michael Key isn't going to be fine..

It's not like Jordan became a break out A list actor or anything.. Dude literally became an artistically driven director.. Who in THE FUCK saw that coming?

Keegan gon be fine.. He won't reach Peele levels but he won't become Kel Mitchell.

We fucked up the rest of the world so much that all there is left is to fuck up ourselves.
At least, I have Culver's cheese curds. Fucking delicious

have sex

can you not be happy for your partner or something?

why is everyone here so selfish and competitive

It's still 400k a year to some bitch just for breathing

Narcissists push and push people away until they are alone on their computers telling people on a web forum how awesome they are and how to live like them cause they are awesome

I found this out recently, thankfully my ex had just broken up with last boyfriend and showed mercy on me and didn't try to claim half of the pension I was transferring. What a great gal!

Did they have a fallout, why is Jordan not giving him at least an extra spot in his flicks, dick move desu

He has two voice acting roles in major movies this year though

that's for life

that means he has to make money 400k every year just to break even and not go to jail

how many do you see on top year after year?

for a creative person you need to take risks or you'll end up like eddie murphy doing shit movies for big money just to pay off a cunt

No

Jesus fucking Christ. I guess the only solution is to make less money than her.

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> no kids
> still gets 34k alimony

Explain this to me, americans.

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Gotta break that glass ceiling somehow

>2019
>MARRIAGE
HET!

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JUST

>If you live with your partner for more than half a year and break up, they can try to get it.
for how long? if you have to pay for more than a year for a relationship that lasted six fucking months, that's highway robbery

We unironically need sharia in the west, there is no other way to unfuck this place

Getting married today seems like a huge scam that only benefits a woman who’s more likely to cheat due to society telling her it’s a good thing instead of shaming her for it

I’m ready for the future when CRISPR surrogate super babies become a thing and nobody actually decides to fuck each other anymore due to all the emotional, legal, and financial liability involved

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what about being divorced and paying alimony? how much does that hurt?

Why would it? If you’re a man you really don’t need a woman in your life.
It’s not the same the other way around

I have more respect for the one that didn't decide to blacksploitate his favorite horror films.

Can't we just talk about Elder Scrolls?

Unironically Key was the better of the two. But Peele just realized that if he made a complete race bait movie then he will get all the undeserved credit. I hope Key catches up soon, I’d like to see him in more roles. Friends From College is a libtard fuck fest but a pretty entertaining show.

feminism was a mistake

JUST

It doesn't even have to cumulative time. You can break up with someone, get back together, and the widow doesn't matter.

>It's a giant incentive to get you pump babies out just for being in the army.
ironically those kids fucking hate that lifestyle and GTFO as soon as they can.

t. multiple uncles in the military and all thier kids are insane

what kind of bitch needs to spend 34K a month

>Key has been ordered to pay his ex-wife $34,000 per month as well as 21 percent “of his gross annual income from all sources in excess of $2,153,846,” according to court documents filed and ordered Nov. 7, 2017, which were obtained by People, but “the total spousal support payable from [Key] to [Blaise] each year shall not exceed the sum of $700,000 gross.”
>The “Key and Peele” star also has to pay Blaise spousal support until she remarries or the death of one of the parties.
>Key, 46, has also been ordered to pay Blaise $655,649 “to equalize the division of the assets.”

Holy fuck. A normal person only makes 30k a YEAR. Why the fuck is she getting so much?

i genuinely don't know how assassination attempts of ex spouses isn't more common. if i was a multimillionaire, i'd have a couple million dollars in some offshore account before i ever got married in case i needed to pay the russians with some off-the-books money to take care of my wife. way cheaper in the long run and you could get away with it if you plan ahead of time and don't leave a paper trail.

my family is quite normal, grandfather in the army, my father in the old school cold war air force

you're judging something you're completely ignorant of, maybe your family or uncles are just shitty people

What kind of lifestyle? Moving around etc.? Seems pretty exciting to me.

Seriously. People have no honor.

Someone crown him

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>yeah just keep paying 90% of your paycheck to some cunt that let you shag a few times
Cuck

I wish some incel would go and murder these women. Not legitimate divorcees but specific flagship cold blooded reptiles like Brendan's and Keegan's

The only way to be certain is to be poor when you meet her and stay poor your entire life.

As soon as she gets a taste of money, it's over.

If a judge or any lawyer tries this shit one, everybody's gonna die.

Women are born opportunists it's how they're raised and wired I'm afraid.

I'm just surprised /pol/ hasn't started spouting FBI crime statistics and screeching about niggers.

>Culver's cheese curds
Based

Implying any of you 4chane shitposters are going to be rich enough one day where a woman will even bother taking your broke ass to court for half your vidya games and 24 pack of mountain dew, granted if you EVER fucking get laid first, lmao

you sound like you married

I too counterpoint arguments nobody ever made.

I'm rich tho

It's about maintaining her lifestyle. It made sense when a wife getting a divorce meant she was out on the street with no job. Can't have your kids spending every second week at a crack shack. But then it gets extended to these ridiculous situations, and it gets retarded.

You dont have to get married to move in with a woman and even create a family, or is it different in the US?

Why the fuck don't rich people just fuck off their own country and live off somewhere else. Pack up all the money you have and go hide in some thirld world paradise before letting some bitch take it all and more.

He must have hired a shitty lawyer. Dudes gonna go broke

His Netflix show got cancelled recently too

Peele was the brains behind the duo, Key was just a better actor

i would kill this bitch, the judge, her lawyer, and my shitty lawyer

Greetings roastie.

Hurry up and get a trip.

I don't think so, I think Jordan just wanted to prove himself as someone more serious instead of 1 half of a comedy duo. I get the impression Keegan is happier continuing to do what he's been doing.

He's had a really weird career trajectory. He traveled with a comedy troupe in Holland for like ten years.

> Peele - better writer.
> Key - better character actor.

My only theory is judges are in on the elite politician Luciferian cult.

The courts think women are that incompetent to survive on their own despite have the same (if not, more) job opportunities in life
The courts and the whole leftist ideology is a huge condescending view of protected classes and minorities who are happy to play ball of it means that they’ll get a treat at the end

It's actual factual entitlement. How absurd would it be if you shack up with a sugar momma then claim that you should be artificially propped up to the same living standard with zero contribution?

God damn Canada
Why can’t you guys try to be better in culture than us Americans? It’s not like Canada fucking up will destabilize the world

If Canada could be a conservative country that actually shames people doing bad things (being slutty, committing rape, littering, etc) it’d be the most based in the world

>implying any of you will willingly space away and give up your hard earned resources to an ungrateful bitch who cheats on you constantly with Tyrone
FTFY
Also, lmao; redditors think this is a good thing

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how could they be friends and partners for years and Jordan still won't throw him some work?

She’d scoff at the prospect of going out or entering a relationship with a man who makes less than her

She found a richer chad to fuck and didn’t want to waste time with you anymore lol

>they didn't even have children

America what the fuck

Why can’t reddit be useful for once and make this a race issue to ease up this guys hardship?
It’s like those guys love to perpetrate evil instead in exchange for fake internet points

>requiring marriage for love and family
>not recognizing that you're probably medically retarded for thinking this

user, I bet you think god exists and hangs out in churches, eh?

Fuck the Subaru I’d rather have the timeshare

That's why MGTOW is a thing
Women are cancerous evil creatures

>as you grow older being unmarried eventually hurts more
Bullshit

One of my friends is dating a single mom in her 30s with a mid six-figure alimony settlement from her ex-husband who is some kind of surgeon. She's unemployed and also got their condo in their divorce.

A few weeks ago our friend group went out to a nightclub and she paid for a table and bottles for all of us. Felt absolutely AMAZING to be partying it up on someone else's dime while knowing at the same time the dumb cuck is slaving away at the hospital wrapping up yet another 100 hour work week to provide for her legally-mandated lifestyle.

Honestly I'm jealous as fuck of these women to be desu. If I had a vagina I'd marry and divorce some richfag too.

The JUST is an ancient entity.
Brendan has excised it from his coil, but at a physical and emotional cost.

However, The JUST is eternal, it will never die; it always finds a new host or hosts.

The ensuing mommy technocracy will liberate us all.

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The real them comes out. They don't have to pretend anymore. Fucking scumbags of humanity

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retard

Damn and I thought niggers and Latinas were bad. I heard white chicks are worse but damn she is taking that dude to the cleaners. For what, he isn't on Peele level ? Peele os just being used as the acceptable Spike Lee. MGTOW fuck these broads

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Those residuals better be good. He was making decent money when his show was on. Not so much anymore. I feel for the dude. But this is warning to all dudes. Don't get married

Good, hopefully this makes him realize how terrible feminism is

Better being an incel than a JUSTed simp

i didnt intend to

I'm sure he's always welcome back at Animal Planet!

Wtf!!!

All she did was spread her fucking legs open and she entitled what looks like more than half of his net worth because she wants to stay at the lifestyle he provided for her? Un freakin believable with this shit. Cant, he appeals that shit? That seems way to severe. Most people don't even make 30 k a month. Don't ever get married bros. Not to these harlots.

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Brendan left his place as the JUST King so a new one has to take it.

>You're one of those dummies who thinks a million dollars is a lot
It is a lot, you silver spoon nigger

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>You're one of those dummies who thinks a million dollars is a lot
> your understanding of money is complete garbage.

1 year and shes entitled to half the shit she would be if you were married, 2 years shes entitled to everything regardless of marriage or not. if you have a kid with her, you're instantly done and its treated as though you are married.

Is keegan also half jew? His wife looks jewish AF.

>female judges
>female lawyers
>female politicians
do you understand now?

I fail to see how this can work in a society. Logically, everyone would just stop using women, right? But it isn't happening, for some reason. Why? It's absurd!

You ever try to talk someone out of a stupid relationship mistake? It's not easy.

>getting married

It’s happening more often than you think. More and more people are unable to get in serious relationships despite the “incel” actual soiemale cucks and incels like to use
Their standards are getting narrower and narrower as time goes on, and they seem to like guys that are richer, have higher status, above them in looks and will treat anyone they’re unattracted to as trash
People are wising up however. I still won’t be getting married after seeing how boring and disgustingly disloyal/impulsive these bitches are

Thats a very akward freeze frame to a movie.

God, I never thought I'd see a worse JUSTing than, Brendan. Going to have to keep an eye on his appearance to see how bad it'll be.

>In March, Cynthia claimed to be suffering both physically and financially following their romantic split.

At 59, the dialect coach is 14 years older than her ex and she filed papers asking for spousal support, a fair split of assets, and attorney fees - according toTMZ.

Cynthia alleged that since their 17-year marriage ended, she was taking five medications to treat severe depression, anxiety, hair and weight loss, and PTSD.


Can you believe this cunt? She had zero marketable skills. And coast her way through the marriage. Then as a kick cried, victim. No wonder these feminist love to cry, victim. Society just awards them for doing absolutely nothing. I swear this is a tragic tale that all men should pay attention to. Now, this idiot decided to marry again. Looks like he hasn't learned his lesson. Never double down on females. A hard head makes a soft ass

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Why do you think there's a call to boycott sex bots?

well it doesn't seem to be working well in my world. my grad class just turned 30 and maybe 20% of us are married with kids now. my class was around 200 people.

There is? Let me guess feminists are calling for the boycott?

The concept is that they're entitled to the lifestyle they're accustomed to. Take that how you will.

>fall for the "you'll die alone meme"
>"man up"
>"NAWALT"
>get married
>allow the government to give mana boost to a woman in any conflict against you
>get JUSTD by said woman
>get remarried
>mock mgtow
>"heh at least im getting laid"

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>Jordan gets Keegan to method act without him even realising
he truly is a visionary

>Marriage

Fucking why? You can stay with a women for the rest of your life if you want you don't need a fucking ring.

It’s interesting
Back in 2015/16 it was liberals that everyone saw increasing evidence to hate
Now it’s entitled women
Maybe society is slowly fixing itself

Looks like someone got indoctrinated.

Yearp.

>"you'll die alone meme"
Everyone dies alone. Your consciousness is a singular experience.

>Why is X celebrity asking me to donate to charity why don't they pay for it.
that's a perfectly valid question fuckwit, celebrities are shamelessly greedy

Fuck em. I was talking my boi about this. We are both in agreement. The sooner they mass produce sex bots The sooner we can replace females as whole. They would become irrelevant.

>paying a pussy tax for a pussy someone else is fucking
how do people stomach this shit?

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A single celebrity's entire wealth forfeited at once still wouldn't be enough to sustain most charities or relief effort.
The point is everyone donates to keep the cash flow continuous for a long period.

...

There's a lot of catch up to be done. Comparing your average female sex toy to a male's is like comparing a model T to the space shuttle.

The common denominator here females. I never liked the idea of a female judge. They can't even govern their own emotions. Now we expect them to be impartial. When we all know that they always no matter the circumstances give other females the benefit of the doubt. Alimony is nothing but a consolation prize. Never ever ever get married. Make sure you screen your chick before getting her knocked up though. We are still men and have to spread our seeds.

When I tell people I know him from The Planet's Funniest Animal Videos they have no idea wtf I'm talking about

That's usually reserved for people who don't know how to reign in their vocabulary.

>Key has been ordered to pay his ex-wife $34,000 per month as well as 21 percent “of his gross annual income from all sources in excess of $2,153,846,”

A woman who marries a rich man gets used to that lifestyle, and it's only just that she shouldn't have to lower her standards after divorce.

Imagine living in a country with alimony laws lol just fuck my shit up senpai

How in the FUCK is THIRTY THOUSAND A MONTH ok? I don't care how much he makes, this shit should be capped at a few grand at most. Why the fuck is everything changing in these times except men getting absolutely rolled by this type of shit? Women are working nowadays, it's completely pointless. All the bullshit about muh equality women just as good as men and this shits still around.

>Tfw you realize you were the Garfunkel

At this point. I'm looking into getting a Realdoll. It's a bit pricey but seems like a prudent investment. No drama, no fuss, put it in the closet when I'm done with it. Wont have to put up with lies, cheating, duplicity, manipulations, her family or her past. I see no downside to getting one

They're Philistines.

That's her fucking problem. Should she had done a better job maybe they would still be married. Maybe, because she is dried up and old. Past her childbearing years. So she outlived her usefulness to him. She probably was terrible in bed and withholding emotionally. It didn't take him long to saddle up with a new skirt. Albeit he is repeating the same mistake. Looks like a simp to me.

I want the Jasmine doll before it disappears forever. Friends ask me where would I hide it.

Hide it? Shit I'd make company greet her when they come in.

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It boggles my mind how women can honestly think they are oppressed in the West.

Makes me want to stick to Asian masseuses and boomers the rest of my life.

>Keegans first wife was born in 1958
>He's born in 1971
>they married 1998
>He was 27, and she was 40. She'd still be foxy, he'd get his fine milf who enjoys fucking his toyboys brains out
>he's not that successful at that point, and his options are more limited

>They divorce in 2017
>He's 46, still looking good
>She's 59, her looks have faded, most women don't look good at that age anymore
>he's successful and famous now, and has way more options

t.retard

Unironically, why doesn't Peele throw him a bone and cast him?

Damn very nice. Very nice indeed.

I call mines the Dutches of Bay Ridge

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>lmao
there's no better way to say "i hate myself" than a lmao at the end of the post

>Lemme get a black version of pic related
>I got you

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I've dated girls I thought weren't whores, then they became them suddenly 4 years later

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They should make a movie about a guy with a realdoll and one night he fucks it and falls asleep by it and wakes up and she becomes real.

Too much visibility. If the wife croaks the guy who was being forced to pay her hundreds of thousands of dollars a month will be at the very top of a list of suspects, even if the hit man you hired was the very best and made it look like a complete accident. And even if you do have a contingency plan for being investigated, do you really want to risk it? Best to just quietly shuffle your money offshore and claim bankruptcy

Women arent really "anything" at their core user. They're totally malleable into whatever you want them to be with enough work and within reasonable limits. They become less malleable the more clocks they've taken, this is why whorish women are undesirable. You have to take them as they are instead of making them into whatever you want. Some will call this misogyny but it's the truth.
t. Married to a great woman

>that's highway robbery
that's Canada

That’s basically Air Doll (2009).

A woman who's able to support herself off her own income's a start, though that just means she'll be five percent less likely to try and take all of your shit. That 5% becomes 0% if your paychecks several thousand dollars bigger than hers tho, because fuck you, bitch gotta have her money

Pfft, why would I ever want her to be real? So she could assimilate the self-entitlement, slut culture? Fuck that. Defeats the purpose of buying one in the first place. If they do make fully functional AI sexbots. I would keep it in a lobotomized state. Unable to learn other than what I allow it to learn. Don't need it learning third wave feminist propaganda. Thinking i should give it rights. Its made for my pleasure and nothing else

looks kino, thanks user

Americans are hyper individualists.

The sooner we develop AI and robotics sophisticated enough to create andoids, the happier we'll all be. Real people are just too tiresome.

Rollin with Colin Hanks. It's over.

Knowing our current clown world timeline, this probably will happen. Some pretty boy is going to shack up with a sugar mommy for a couple of years, they'll split and he'll demand to get paid an alimony, claiming he has autism or some shit. And some clown world judge'll be a madlad and uphold it, just for shits and giggs. And then everyone'll lose their minds just a little bit more, and the world'll be dragged just a little bit closer to the brink of complete clown world insanity

honk honk

>Actually Key I just wrote an episode of the Twilight Zone with you in mind
>It's about a man who falls in with a beautiful woman
>One night he wakes up and finds her drinking his blood
>Day by day he grows weaker and she continues to do this
>He tries to get rid of her but finds out it's impossible once a succubus becomes attached to a man
>So what do you think buddy, want to shoot it with me?

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Did none of you guys' parents' relationships work out or what? My parents stayed together and are happy, my wife's parents stayed together and are happy. My wife and I are happy. I think if you have the positive experience of your parents' marriage it makes it easier

"that's nothing, he probably makes that in 3 days" - my girlfriend

You are apart of the few then. Majority of us didn't have it as lucky as you

Mom and dad divorced at an early age. I grew up thinking relationships had an expiration date and it's part of the reason I hesitated to get close to anyone.

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I don't think anyone thinks marriage is bad 100% of the time, but it's an odds game.

2008 killed my family because of financial strain, we were the happiest bunch before :(

>Brendan Fraser getting unJUSTed
> Key gets JUSTed in his stead
Is it a fair trade, anons?

gotta have a little "financial incentive" money when chad's children want to go ivy league

Too many strings come along with it. Chances are she is screwed up, molested when she was younger, total slut during her youth. She is addicted to gossip, social media and reality tv. Loves trash music. Subscribes to third was feminism. I hardly see any upsides to getting married in this day in age. Majority of the judges are females. Especially the family court ones. It's a scary time to be a guy

Bad trigger discipline.

>2008 killed my family because of financial strain
how?

>normies are sticking it to Todd now
lol

my parents are still together after 30 years, and they yell at each other every single day. this doesn't mean that women aren't whores though

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It's not a matter of fairness. The mantle of JUSTman must be passed, no matter what. So it has been, so it always will be

>A normal person only makes 30k a YEAR

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Should've spent on hookers

there must always be one, in ten years Key will pass the torch.

Same. I seethe at the fact that some people are lucky enough to have parents who love eachother and treat eachother well.

>people who don't know how to reign in their vocabulary.
>reign in their vocabulary
>reign
So clearly not you, then.

Key will come out of this someday with a redemption story arch making him more beloved like Brendan.

I wonder if there's a support group for actors only

Burrrrnnnnnnnn!

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Yeah not being able to keep friends and having to constantly adjust to a new school is so exciting.

eh, all couples yell at each other, except for really rich people who don't have a lot of stress or life problems. the couples you think are great and loving might just be really good at hiding their shit from the public eye.

>I'm rich so 34k per month for trash is nothing
That is why you'll always be poor and stupid.

You're the one that thinks

> Your consciousness is a singular experience.

Is somehow not layman enough.

Holy fuck i thought you were lying calling it pal-imony. Its just legal theft. The dark days are truly upon us

No, I'm not. I only posted in this thread to point out your spelling error.

>when the coal pays the toll

My bad then.

>"Sure bud. I hope you don't need the money though because I don't pay for cameos."

>the couples you think are great and loving might just be really good at hiding their shit from the public eye.
It's reversed with my parents.

Does he have kids? I can educate you guys on how child support/spousal works

I think its the same with mine desu. theres no possible way they can yell at each other in public the way they do without being madly in love.

you paying child support user? how many kids?

The financial crisis put a fuck ton of stress on my family who got hit hard. My parent's marriage didn't survive and they divorced in 2011

Oh no, I actually work in that industry. I see all kinds, what they owe, you name it. Always an interesting day at work

Why did this idiot marry a 40 year old when he was in his 20s anyway? Surely he must have realized that when he's in his 40s and she's 60+ he wouldn't be sexually attracted at all anymore. I'm all for getting rid of alimony and bullshit like that, but this fucking dunce deserves his JUSTing, on account of being an idiot.

Sorry to hear that user

hit us with some stories about the cruelty of the modern world

My parents got divorced when I was like six and they both never remarried and never got along after the divorce, mostly because my mom is legitimately kinda mentally ill (I got tired of her shit and moved in with my dad in my teens).

My girlfriend of five years now also has divorced parents, but hers both remarried and they all get along well as a kind of extended family.

In spite of these backgrounds, me and my gf are insanely happy together and we're definitely going to get married and start a family together because it's what we both want from life. It might be tempting fate but based on my experience with her these past few years and my knowledge of her as a person, I figure we have as good a shot as anybody can.

All that being said, just in case things don't work out, I'm very happy my country doesn't have any of these fucked-up alimony laws that you Americans have.

Explain.

I'm a single father. I raise my 13-year-old by myself. My ex bailed on us and had another kid with someone else. She collects food stamps for him by lying and saying that my son lives with her when he doesn't. I never bothered with child support from her because she never objected to me raising our son. But I do need it. If I ask her help she would say no or just try to humiliate me verbally. "Why don't you have any money" for example.

It'd be pretty funny if he shacked up with her for financial security at the time. Because if he did, hoo boy did she turn the tables on him

>there must always be a JUST king

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>famous wealthy men are still getting married
>year of our lord 2019

I feel sorry for no man who gets married going forward. You did it yourself.

The laws are long overdue for change but no politician would dare risk his female voters.

T. Future cuck and proud

Rich dudes that get married must love throwing away their money.

what does your sister say when she talks about her current situation?does she admit what she is doing js shady or does she have excuses ready?what does your mom and dad think?

I want to call you a shitty person, but at the same time her ex husbando should have known better than to marry
Instead, I’ll call you an opportunistic vulture

Well it's like this, chief; child support is meant to help children by simulating the net income of both parents if they had stayed together in the same home. This is basically an attempt of giving the child or children every fair opportunity a regular happy family would have in raising their child. Now keep in mind, rules vary from state to state, even county in some cases. The plaintiff, the primary custodial parent (usually the mom but not always the case) is entitled to monthly support determined by state guidelines and what each makes. Numerous factors are taken into account when calculating, but if both parties agree to a lesser amount they can deviate from the standard support calculations. Rule of thumb is that the more you make, the more you owe the child. The only fucked up thing is plaintiffs aren't required to be put on a job search, only defendants. You fuck yourself if you're stupid, and rack up arrears by being a deadbeat. I've seen some high debts
You are entitled to support if you are the primary care giver of the child, if you so choose that is. If you file a complaint, she's legally obligated to pay until all children are emancipated. Whatever she can pay really.

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>dont get married
>have a social life have more money
>might not have someone around when you die
>get married
>wife eventually cheats (they all do)
>owe her a gazillion dollars for the rest of your life
>owe even more if you have kids
>youre the joke of the family
>"poor user, his wife left him. And now he lives in the motel 6"


Im good being alone its not worth it.

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It’d be a horror movie about a doll that learned it could accuse him of rape and get paid millions while fucking big black male dolls on the side

>I’m ready for the future when CRISPR surrogate super babies become a thing and nobody actually decides to fuck each other anymore due to all the emotional, legal, and financial liability involved
we;ll be long dead before then

I'm surprised they don't have pre-nups

Is he the new Brendan?

Nope. Ive tried for years to see a reasoning but sadly. They all have the same deep rooted problems.

pre-nups can get thrown out in court.

I learned a very valuable lesson from this. Females can never be trusted. Your lawyer is your best friend. Have an ironclad contract if you choose sire a child with a female. Females are treacherous as fuck. Never let your guard down with them. I keep hoping my son mother just disappear somewhere so I doesn't have to deal with her anymore. God damn parasite.

all women are materialistic (by nature so don't hate). the only difference between a good one and a bad one is whether or not she chooses to act on her natural hatred for anything male.

Imagine just being a fuck hole who did it want to fuck anymore, and now you get 34 k a month for doing nothing

>women

Mine thugged it out but they come from a conservatively Christian household where whorishness results in getting smacked

What you’re seeing here is everyone pointing out how CURRENT sluttiness and our backwards ass white knight culture is leading to entitled women ruining the dating scene as a whole; which is now much worse than when all of our parents got married

Prenups don't mean shit anymore. Hence the phrase "it's cheaper to keep her". Though it's better to never to marry her in the first place. 9 out 10 times of you have money its the female that insists on marriage. They will use everything in their bag of tricks to get you to sign on that state-sponsored farce. And when she is ready to trade up she will take half of everything you earned and leave you broken half dead on the floor

Well fuck me...on what grounds? T thought those were to keep shit like this from happening

The way I look at prenups is that it's just leaving the relationship with what you came in with. If the spouse doesn't like it, well then she's probably not for me. It's only fair
How?
Here's a protip; lawyers aren't that great. I've met some dumb lawyers working in this field. That, and they'll squeeze every dime out of clients. A simple form you can get for free, fill out in 2 mins, and hand in to an office? They'll do the exact same thing for you, and charge you an hours worth of work for it. Yeah, real complex legal maneuver there

I’m glad they don’t do that in your country; it’ll be easier to let go of her when she inevitably cheats on you with 2 other guys she’s dating at the same time

What is the name of the forms?

>my wife and I
It may be your turn, but rest assured it’ll be somebody else’s next

>always date pasty white girls in their early 20s
>complete turbo sluts who dont realize how trashy they are
>date an 8/10 milf
>incredibly sweet and nice
>very nurturing
>super horny 24/7
>makes me food and pays for stuff

Changed my world. I cant date younger women anymore.

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It’s called “don’t get married, and look attractive enough to fuck bitches on tinder”
It’s working well for me so far

You know, something simple as requesting to have your case looked at to see if the charging order can be changed. Like for example say you lose your job and get another one that pays less, you go to any support office and ask for a form to request a conference (not before a judge, those are appeals which happen later if need be). You could possibly get your support lowered. Now it's piss easy to do, but your lawyer which you pay like 100 bucks an hour will offer to do it for you, and charge you for it. Thats the kind of shit they do. I'm not trying to shit on lawyers, because a lot of them do help you process a lot of this intimidating and confusing legal tape, but it does happen

This. If i was peele id hook that dude up with whatever he wanted. You take care of your bud who was with you from the beginning.

>Getting married today seems like a huge scam that only benefits a woman who’s more likely to cheat due to society telling her it’s a good thing instead of shaming her for it


DING DING DING

well im not sure if this works outside of Canada, but in Canada, according to contract law, any contract that is signed under duress is considered null and void for legal purposes. so the woman just has to come up with some bullshit sob story about how she didn't want to sign the contract, she was drunk at the time yadda yadda yadda....

It removes the threat of change in means of wealth from the equation of whether or not two people should remain married.

Oh after my experience with my ex. I'm never trusting another female again. Fucking snakes

This guy gets it.

Oh that is bullshit. On what grounds is that legally acceptable? If it's an original signature of the party, it should be legal. There's no take-backsies on this shit. Fuck, Canada, this is why people laugh at you

>Did none of you guys' parents' relationships work out or what?

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See my bad luck is all the hot milfs in my area have kids, and that turns me off. I'm not playing daddy except to her of course

She gets away with so much shit. Don't help me at all with my son. But loves to critique and inject her bullshit opinion every chance she gets. The only good thing she ever done was give birth to him

That one Chinbotsu doujin. Except it's a girl(+penis)

thats just how Canadian contract law works, there are 3 other things that can null a contract if I remember correctly.

Then you fellas need some serious amendments or something. Because what sane country allows that kind of legal precedence? You could, as you said, say literally ANYTHING to make all contracts null and void!

This world inside your head that you inhabit where that sort of thing is "inevitable" must be a pretty bleak place.

You kinda described weird science. But two nerds made their own gf.

This. It takes literally one friend eliciting her jealousy, one coworker saying something, one family member, a fucking TV show, to start what can only be described as an "insanity cascade." It can come at any time and when it does you may as well be dating an actual adversary, because your interests go out the window as she begins to relentlessly pursue hers at your expense.

well thats the best part, essentially the judge gets to pick what is legal and what isn't. I forget the exact legal terms but it goes like this basically.

>I was drunk
the judge replies
>that is a reasonable explanation

vs

>I was drunk
the judge replies
>that was not a reasonable explanation

how do we define what is reasonable and what isn't? I dunno im not a lawyer.

My parents stayed together, but my dad completely ignored my brother and I. So it was like not having a father but my father was around if that makes sense? And my dad constantly cut my mom down and would talk down to her. Was a very fun upbringing.

It’s reality
If you haven’t seen it yet despite what’s in front of you; you’re in for a rude awakening

Im the milf guy from earlier. Apparently she was a terrible mom so her ex had custody of the kids. She only got to see them every other weekend so they were never around (which meant we could go at each other all day and night) one time she asked if I ever wanted to meet her kids and I told her straight up "no thats not a good idea" and she never brought it up again.

I have a THIRSTY woman at my job. But I wont touch that because A: she has a kid, and B: I don't shit where I eat. That's a lot of needless drama for my job

You both sound like a couple major losers. Perfect for eachother.

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