What's next for ourguy?

>Fucking more lollis and trannies
>more
wut

post ferrari is the dream

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Gosh, I wish that keanu were me.

He has his next wick flick coming out soon

Is this the girl that drowned?

why is her shirt all tattered

He's so cute when he geeks out over motorcycles. Let's go for a rrrrrriide, Keanu...

Probably bill and ted

your not gonna make it

>post pictures of people just like you
I'm kind of a bad ass

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Kettle chips is a pizzagate term

Bill and Ted 3 dude!

based. she seems to be into it, too

>be one of the biggest movie stars on the planet
>treat yourself to a night out alone of shitty pizza and cheap beer
>let some retard take pictures of you and play along
American hero

The girl looks so much like my ex.

post nudes plz

thonken.emoji

you'll never learn

How can a man be so based?

she was 21

gross

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Months?

So vile.

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Keanu is a cool guy. Shame he cant act though.

>I don't like to attach my name to it
Smart. Minimizing evidence of his involvement in case it gets exposed later.

kek

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ya call this pizza?

Thats a cute girl.

Is there a person out there who's a worse actor but so cool a person as Keanu?

Oh god I thought he was motorboating that fat woman's tits for second.

Hollywood is full of cunts, this dude isn't one of them.

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honestly he fucks the best looking trannies so it's hard to be mad

pretty based imo

Marrying Winona

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Keanu is too good to be true. Ill be in denial when some negative press comes out / explain it away.

how is he this cute?

How do these people not know who he is?

>female: oh my god, its you!
>Keanu: yes
>Female: hey everybody, its Eddie Murphy!

living the dream

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Kettle Jalapeno chips

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I hear he had a rough life, I want him to be happy.

Why did she have to whore herself out bros?

WITH NO SURVIVORS

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She was always a whore you just don't like the guy she is dating.

I hope he is happy.

Does Keanu Reeves not have a twitter account? Can one actor be this based?

New Yorkers don't give a shit about anyone

>In 1991 during the filming for 'Point Break' Keanu Reeves (whose role involved playing rookie FBI agent 'Johnny Utah') was surfing with co-stars when a small child was dragged under the waves and began to struggle to stay above surface. As his co-stars rushed to help, Reeves held out an arm infront of them, stopping them and was reported saying by Lori Petty (who played the character Tyler Endicott in the film) "The waves have claimed her, let her fight for her own life". The crew, dumbfounded, proceeded to watch her struggle until her body disappeared beneath the waves, lifeless. He was later spotted outside the child's house, making drowning gestures and thanking the family for their child's sacrifice to the great ocean.

he doesn't even own a cell phone
he regularly uses payphones if he has to make a call

not much people remember Beverly hills cop nowadays.

No, stop, when she made Van Helsing she was pure.

Do ya recokon he's fucked the Watchowski's?

Holy shit that's taking humility to the next level. Why no cellphone though?

based slut

>GIVING UP HIS SEAT TO SOME RANDOM BITCH
LMAO WHY DID HE THINK SHE WAS PREGNANT JUST FAT KEANU RELAX

Is this the new Speed movie?

Why is based Keanu doing the okay sign on his leg?
guys.... whats going on.. on?

She wasn't always like this you know...

He's just a good old fashioned guy. Being a gentleman used to mean something.

any man who gives the gods of the sea their due respect is based in my book

now you get called a cuck

KEANU CONFIRMED ALT RIGHT

SHE PROBABLY WAS GOING 1 STOP LMAO WHAT A DORK

He's literally the human manifestation of reddit.

>no cellphone
>Holy shit
>humility to the next level
>Why no cellphone
I weep for our species.

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Them's some fightin' words lad.

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so reddit is selfless virtuous caring and fun? They sound swell

>reddit is based as fuck
I know right.

>reddit fucks trannies
we know

Is it actually because he wants to be humble though or is there another reason? That was the basis of my question.

>reddit isn't virtue signaling faggots circlejerking their faggoty ways
LIES AND SLANDER

What is dead may never die. But rises again harder and stronger.

Yeah keep telling yourself that.

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>be keanu
>dad is a drug addict and leaves when your young
>suffer from dyslexia throughout school
>start becoming an actor
>best friend River Phoenix dies when you're 23
>land a dream role in a blockbuster and explode in popularity and stardom
>your wife has a stillbirth
>she dies soon after in a car crash
>your sister get diagnosed with leukemia
>live out the next 2 decades running from depression by doing movies, riding motorcycles and helping others

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HARVESTED.JPG

He's just like us

Damn, I feel like a bioflic of his life would win all the awards.

Why do you have a cellphone?

wtf I love reddit now

>He's just like us
You're a NEET living in mom's house posting on Yea Forums shut up lmao

Because it's convenient.

Convenient for what?

Who are you Socrates? You want me to give you a list of things cellphones are good for?

Literally me. But that's only so I can stand up and show off the bulge

Give me a list of things that cellphones are good for.

No fuck you.

Finding your dad on grindr

Browsing the chan in bed

Bill and Ted 3

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Oof. Walked right into that one didn't you?

Keanu tops the list of celebrities that I would like to hug. He just seems like such a good dude.

Getting all the top Hollywood executives in a room together and mowing them down with an AR-15

He's literally the human manifestation of Jesus*.

wtf i love reddit?!

God I want to snuggle with a little girl so much

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that's the joke

Playing candy crush

what happened to his finger? Did he date Amber Heard?

QUICK BURN THE SHEETS

It takes a strong person to live through that and still find success. He deserves all the fame and fortune he gets.

>tfw you fuck a cute tranny cause your hero Keanu did it and even introduced (((her))) to your friends and have no regrets

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Is this TLoU movie?

Keanu is the man

Is this full operator? I know nothing but the way he reloads the shotgun looks really cool and hard to master.

Okay clearly hes not reloading. I have no idea what hes doing.

T. Ausfag

If there's someone I can trust with my kids it's Keannu.

Kys yourself manlet subhumn

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the chamber didn't close properly I think

>being nice is r eddit
Fk off edgelord

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He is literally the earliest incarnation of the God Emperor of Mankind. We're going to the stars soon brahs.

>When I was younger, maybe junior high, I got roped into watching my 3 month old niece while my sister got her hair done
>there i am, sitting in the waiting area of a hair salon with my niece, and who walks in, but Keanu Reeves
>was nervous as fuck, and just kept looking at him, as he read a magazine and waited, but didn't know what to say
>soon my niece started crying, and I'm trying to quiet her down because I didn't want her to bother Keanu, but she wouldn't stop
>he gets up and walks over and started running his hands through her hair and asking what was wrong.
>I replied that she was probably hungry or something
>he put down his magazine, picked up my niece and lifted his shirt. He breast fed her right there in the middle of a hair salon. Chill guy, really nice about it.

She’s pure! It’s time!!

Underrated

Would fuck that little bitch so hard..

dude... she's not a bitch

absolutely based

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big if true

I could make him one.

And then Morpheus and Neo told him that when he freed his mind, he wouldn't have to jump any fences

Literally me.

you should see the bandages on his dick

literally modern day jesus

Show me where the manlet hurt you user. Wait it's probably the balls

how do i achieve keanu level of chill and indifference?

drink

YEAH BUT HE GOES TOO FAR

THIS IS JUST RIDICULOUS M'LADY FEDORA TIPPING TAKE IT EASY KEANU, JESUS

why is being kind to others a bad thing now

They did that already.
theguardian.com/film/2018/aug/20/francis-ford-coppola-winona-ryder-keanu-reeves-married-dracula

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iirc on his birthday he went out to a coffee shop, got a birthday cake and invited passers by to sit down with him and have a slice of cake.

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only by going through pain, suffering and loss and then rising above it can you achieve his level

When I was 15 I was the edgiest person you've ever met and used to dress up like Rorschach to scare people. One day some thugs saw me and kicked the shit out of me

and that's a good thing

thats a big arm

haha what a legend

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No he's the human manifestation of likeability

He just wanted an excuse to get away from the nigger. He's too slick

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The difference here is that he would probably have no trouble finding a gf.

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>want to grow long hair again
>that awkward mid length phase
>just look completely homeless if i leave it wild like that
>look like faggot if i try to sort it out a bit
how does he pull it off so well?

I always though the man was living the dream.

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Are you also a Manlet?

Did he actually sex trannies?

This guy gets it.

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>Back Towards Light
Ironic

Porn.

You have to be conventionally attractive first

Who's the sexy near the end?

Cringe at women humor.

Yes he dated the one from Sense8.

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keanu is so fucking based

Bullying is a good thing. Thats why there are so many school shootings now. Didnt used to happen when the weird kids got bullied into oblivion and straightened out. Now every weird fucker is coddled until they burst

So he's a vocel? Voluntarily Celibate, which explains why he's the inverse of your typical incel.

God that's some terrible acting right there.

or kids finally started standing up for themselves and we now have generations who will defend themselves with high powered assault rifles.

This user is right I never stoop to think how much time I waste on my phone because I thought it was convenient but I do less shit now than before the smart phones came out.

Can't be serious.

You could just say he is introverted you don't have to use a stupid buzzword that dosen't even apply to him.

This is true. I've never been more miserable than in my last relationship. I spend most days alone now. It sucks sometimes but overall I feel a lot calmer and happier.

>"I'm gonna hang up this phone, and then I'm gonna show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm gonna show them a world without you, a world without rules and controls, without borders and boundaries… a world where anything is possible. Where you go from here is a choice I leave to you.”
>"But me, I'm fucking trannies."
based and redpilled

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Yes really
m.youtube.com/watch?v=keGboDlnm54&t=11s

I'd fuck her

Looks like the next cartridge hadn't fed correctly, so he manually cycled the bolt a second time to fix it.

>t. Ausfag
I pity you
>t. Texan

Oh Jesus! Keanu NOOOO

based keanu

fuck

>240p youtube video supposed to prove anything

could be any random blonde chick

She doesn't seem very excited to be there...

Its hard to see in the video, but there is an extra shell in a c-clip outside the chamber, its just used as a quick single shell reload for the drill he is running.

Basically he fires all the rounds in the gun, pushes the shell backwards out of the clip, and into the chamber while releasing the bolt to close, then fires that round to end the drill.

Jesus, Jimmy looks like he's happier than a kid in a candy store. He must've really liked helping sick children.

Well he can do two Keanus, dude Keanu and sad Keanu

>pristine RC45

HOLY SHIT I WANT THAT BIKE!

yikes

When you live to suffer again and again and aigan and again and again..

everlasting happiness, hopefully

Why hasn't he settled down yet?

I-i-i swear i could totally get a g-g-irlfriend if i wanted.

Imagine seething this hard about seeing a genuinely likeable human being. Your sadness and dissatisfaction with your own life oozes from this post.

does that loli cancer research involve treatment with semen?

If your wife gave birth to a still born and then she died in a car accident would you settle down? Probably not. Keanu will most likely fake his death for the next few generations instead of marrying some roastie he doesn't love like he did his wife.

What's this from?
B&R

contributing to your isolation from others. smartphones, I mean. I guess old school cell phones are okay

Those kettle chips are sooo gooood

Why is stillborn an issue but abortions arent?

that's a messy cųnny

THE PSYCHIC DAMAGE WILL NEVER GO AWAY, HE'LL HAVE TO KYS HIMSELF IN THE END

HIMALAYAN PINK SALT IS SUCH A FUCKING MEME

KEANU, YOU FUKKEN DEVIL, YOU

Still birth literally means born dead i.e. the pregnancy went to term and the child died anyway. And abortions are, you know, carried out on non-viable fetuses prior to birth.

No they're not.

station!

it's actually pretty fucked up
i would become a horrible person

;_;
do you ever

IT LITERALLY JUST TASTES LIKE SALT BUT ITS PINK

I HAVE SOME IN A FUCKING GRINDER AND ITS THE GAYEST SALT EVER

Hey capsfag don't you turn that shit off outside of /fast/?

In that type of competetive shooting they put bad rounds in on purpose to make you clear them.

Anyone who thinks Keanus life is bad has never driven a motorcycle.

we used to hate but respect the jocks and cool kids but now even the fucking school curriculum teaches us that they are no better than us so we lash out at them rather than submit... modern liberal dogma is to blame for school shootings

You seem overly invested in this projection fren

Why is he making the nazi hand symbol?

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because one is a choice (morality notwithstanding) and one is a baby prematurely dying of natural causes you dense motherfucker

I dont mean to be rude or shit but it just feels like comedy is in this man's bones he doesn't take advatage of it enough

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Fuck, why is she bottomless? That's so hot.

>In 1991 during the filming for 'Point Break' Keanu Reeves (whose role involved playing rookie FBI agent 'Johnny Utah') was surfing with co-stars when a small child was dragged under the waves and began to struggle to stay above surface. As his co-stars rushed to help, Reeves held out an arm in front of them, stopping them and was reported saying by Lori Petty (who played the character Tyler Endicott in the film) "The waves have claimed her, let her fight for her own life". The crew, dumbfounded, proceeded to watch her struggle until her body disappeared beneath the waves, lifeless. He was later spotted outside the child's house, making drowning gestures and thanking the family for their child's sacrifice to the great ocean.

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lol all the best comedians are people who've had a shit life

based animu qts

honestly what is wrong with him
you are rich as fuck, can fuck any woman you want and yet you're always this depressed

jesus christ been a while since I've seen one of these

*jesus np bro

Why are we still here?

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He’s Ironborn through and through.

Fukken told

you forgot
>donate most of the money you made from that blockbuster to VFX and costume artists

It helps to have 40 million in the bank and no need to ever have to worry about bills, rent or food.

>even his life was kino

oh no no no he is a white supremacist

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This.

"Wow user your phone is huge and have a really nice screen quality.
-T-Thanks it's to have a best rendering when I take pictures"

kek

I have a cellphone but it's not a smartphone
The only thing that makes me consider getting one is hookup apps but I'm too lazy

>Ace of Spades ankle tattoo
Kid didn’t die, he was adopted by Will and Jade Smith

single reason: emergencies
more likely other's

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lmao

The difference between Keanu and reddit is that Keanu is genuinely a good person. Redditors just pretend because they think it will gain them social acceptance or pusy, but they are fucking vile and full of bitterness inside.

It's funny this cunt is just fat and still took the seat. A friend told me he witness someone do just like Keanu and the woman got angry because she wasn't pregnant, that's why you never leave your seat unless she asks

You just need a Keanu-personator wing-personator, bro.

I don't think it's about her being pregnant or not.It's about her being a woman, I do that too but then again I'm young so people think it's fucking rude if I don't.

that ‘za looks horrendous

you are the human manifestation of reddit.

>her

for you

Is it disrespectful for the producer of the pizza to not cut the pizza into per-defined manageable pieces? I can't tell if this is feigned cultural authenticity. yes, it happened to me at a chain pizza, very shameful

same here
real human bean aaaaand a real herooo

This is why I love him so much.

>multi millionaire
>eats that type of """""""food""""""""""

Listening to music & messaging friends.

hale berry
find the clip on youtube she does quite well for an actress
at least I'm sure she won't handle guns like raw eggs in john wick 3

A man of taste and culture. Everyone knows men make the best women.

youtube.com/watch?v=RgHUljLnlNc

>Implying a pizza or a burger doesn't shit all over caviar and frois grois.

Is that Sally Hawkins?

the bums shove pay phones in their ass here

He's 54 years old and still in great shape and good skin. Whatever he's doing works

does it have benis?

I kek'd hard

Why?

>that much plastic surgery
>pure

lel

didn't keanu make a movie where the bad guys take his kidney and put a bomb instead?

Keanu is a normal guy who just so happens to be an actor.

He could play for Argentinia

Keanu is a very based guy. Really respect him

Pretty much all school shooters were victims of bullying you fucking idiot lmao

only because reddit started this meme about him being a 50,000 year old vampire.

I know it's the gentlemanly thing to do. DESU that woman could stand on her feet a bit.

>reddit
Fuck off redditor

Keanu is hapa -- which makes sense, since hapas are fucked in the head racially.

dying

Goddamn, user. I havent read those in ages. God bless.

Underrated

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I want to marry him

>no PoC
>no gays
no chance

Is there any other actor as universally loved -particularly on Yea Forums- as Keanu?

>get on user, we're going to cheer up some kids with cancer.

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Does she really think people who are 5'10 can't reach the top shelf?

I dont get people who cant be happy if they are by themselves

>we're going to cheer up some kids, with cancer.

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We have a new wolverine.

patrician fetish

i wouldn't be either, if i was stuck to a chair and had dozens of sweaty pigs bumping into me

No wonder he acts wooden. Anyone would be dead inside after such a hard life. And yet he still helps people. God bless.

I love Keanu but it's entirely possible he's an immortal. Which is ok by me unless it evolves consuming the blood of Innocents.

Yes but his dad is the asian, when it's AMWF you end up with hyper Chad's, since for an Asian to land a white woman they must be Chad's to begin with. It's WMAF where you get Elliot Roger's

Reminder that nobody understand the script for the Matrix just Laurence Fishburne

reminder that the disgusting edgelord marilyn manson was responsible for keanu’s wife’s death.

Story?

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imagine not feeling compelled to interact with a stranger just because you recognise them from a movie

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Why?

even the fucking queen elizabeth, but wynona

Dude is always eating a sandwich

John Wick 4: The Quest for Peace

Bill and Ted 3
So something fantastic

GIGA C O P E

Making phone calls, posting on Yea Forums, listening to music, checking maps, making plans with friends

funny no one gave this brace user a list yet, really really funny.

godspeed, basedman

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>And abortions are, you know, carried out on non-viable fetuses prior to birth
oh boy have i got some news for you

Sea salt&vinegar are the best Kettle chips

>Fucking trannies
Please tell me this isnt true

>dedicated Mullholland Drive to her
wait what going to watch it for the first time right now

>tfw was born with shit tier dead end genetics
maybe in the next life I'll get to be like Keanu bros

you have to go back

Sinestro on the Green Lantern movie

REAL LOLITA SHIT

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How the fuck is he so good looking and tall? His dad's AN Asian but he doesn't facially look very Asian at all.

Why not?

Hawaiian Asians are cut differently

Keanu/Cruise operator kino when?

That's a gross looking ZA

I feel like his role doesn't get enough attention. He was surprisingly convincing as a guy who rapes 13 year olds.

He's a real Sigma male

Keanu is probably one of the only actors I'd chimp out about. Though chimping out for me would be asking to shake his hand and telling him I think he's a stand up guy compared to how most of Hollywood turned out.

>and that's a good thing
based

not halle berry. it's one of the tarran tactical girls. might be jessica hook.

youtube.com/watch?v=WlwOr0peU3o

Why can't you call it pizza? What's ZA? Goddamn fucking zoomers.

based and snaccpilled

Mid life crisis

I wish I could jam my tongue in her whore mouth.