Just sharted myself AGAIN

learn to portion control and stop eating processed garbage. it's not food

ask jannie to clean you up

>not throwing up blood then shitting acid for an entire day
It's like you aren't even trying

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go eat some more corn syrup from your troff and wash it down with a bucket of fizzy syrup water good little goy :)

This isn't caused by processed food unless you have a weak Jew stomach you fucking losers hahahaha

Yea Forums - Television & Film

Do Europeans really not do this?

based thread

Based

anyone else have a toilet paper roll for their computer? sometimes I just forget to wipe until it starts itching.

the other day when I went to the bathroom a little bit of liquid shit sprayed out my ass right before I sat on the toilet
I didn't even notice until I looked at my pants on the ground

zozz

LIVING IN AMERICA!
THIS IS A MANSSS WORLD

jesus christ is everyone on this board incontinent but me? i'm a drunk and i have to take laxatives to even have a nice poop every day

>Drank some diet pepsi and ate some beef jerky
>Fart and accidentally shart myself

Genuinely hate myself for this and one of my biggest regrets

t. ESL

best thread I've seen on this board since 2009

for jerkening purposes

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I like the smell of my own sharts and I'm too lazy to go to the bathroom

post some delicious taco pages

I don't understand people who have time to read and whatever..it takes me less than a minute and I'm out

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understandable, it takes practice

>fapping to a book
absolute soiboi

Too much greasy “””””food”””””” I reckon

why would I want to practice to spend more time sitting on a bowl of shit
I can read anywhere

where is the pussi

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lel I am not fapping to it. The tp is just conveniently placed next to it. I fap to hentai like the rest of us

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what do europoors even eat anyway? everyone knows italian and french food but the rest of you have no recognizable cuisine to speak of. glad I live in the BBQ mecca of the world

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more like BBC mecca you fucking cuckold

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Fucking based as fuck

>He told me she had a shitty ass
OP?

kek did someone from Yea Forums write this?

At least you don't have a urinary problem.
>take a piss as work
>bladder and urethra feel as empty as empty can be
>2 minutes later take a seat
>almost piss myself, sometimes I fail and droplets escape and I feel conscious about it wondering if there's a noticeable damp spot on my pants or if I smell like piss

Gonna have to start sitting to pee, it's the only way to prevent it.

it burns too

Sounds like kidney stones

SEAnigger here. How do you whiteys have clean assholes if all you do is wipe it with toilet paper? Wont your bum smell or itch afterward?
FYI I dont wash my ass with my hand like a pajeet. I simply aim and fire a water hose at my ass at high pressure until everythings clean

i don't like sitting on the toilet but some people like the solitude and use the time to clear their head like al bundy. something about having my bum exposed to a dark hole for a long time doesn't sit right with me.

whitey here
i wash my ass whenever i shit. with soap even. a lot of people do that, a lot dont.

You have squeeze behind your balls to get the last bit out. Look it up

bro come on.

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>something about having my bum exposed to a dark hole for a long time doesn't sit right with me
m me either

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Best thread atm

jesus fuck.
>post this thread jokingly thinking it was gonna get 2 or 3 replies at most
>go do shit for 30 min
>come back
>60 replies
and when i try to post my Yea Forums threads they get instantly nuked. note to self: shitpost threads are allowed, Yea Forums threads arent

...

>>post this thread jokingly thinking it was gonna get 2 or 3 replies at most
So you didn't shart yourself? Why would you lie to your frens?

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fuck movies, how did your shit go ?

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>shitpost threads are allowed, Yea Forums threads arent
Here's why that's a good thing

>shitpost
Bravo Scorsese

People can relate do you bodily malfunctions.

Your attempts at 'film discussion' are fucking boring and pathetic.

no i didnt shart myself wtf
im very careful whenever i fart for this exact reason

mods wont even allow people to reply to my tv - television and film discussions tho...

well enough thank you, i was actually taking a fat ogre shit when i posted the thread. and then i took a nice and warm shower to get all of the remaining shit pellets off. felt good

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When i jerk off, i cum in my own foreskin because my pp is uncut and i have some phimosis. So i jerk, cum while squeezing my foreskin shut, i rush to the bathroom, i let it out, i peel it all back, i wash it in the sync, i roll it back down and it's all nice and clean. Any one else experiences this feel ?

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>not fapping to explicit lesbian smut
porn honestly doesn't compare to your imagination. no wonder women love written smut so much.

How often do you change your diapers user?

wtf op

Stop drinking so much.