"Without my movies I'm a nobody"

The classic AVGN episodes he wrote with Mike from 2005-2010 were quite good.

Without Ryan, James is a nobody.

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>James puts out a good video
>Whoa /ourguy/ is back absolutely based UNJUST and uncucked

>Later that day
>Time to mock James again lmao

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What does Ryan insist is a coincidence?

It was made for himself. The "fan service" was just him stroking his e-dick on camera. A lot of avgn episodes followed the same trend after the movie.

It's a love hate thing with people here

It was made for his wife.

>"Without hair I'm a nobody"

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Never understood why he made the AVGN an extrovert normie that own his own successful business and has a circle of friends. That's the polar opposite of what the avgn is supposed to be

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james and culkin had another crossover

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It sucks

one horror autism video a year does not negate trashing his brand with the fat slobs

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Laugh at him now but the new horror movie's he's making will be pure kino

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no it wont

Yes it will, James' horror projects are always top notch.

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polybius was shit and so was his first feature length film

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of all the people in the world to shill for, why ryan? he's a fat uncharismatic loser

lol ur retarded

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Ryan is based

how could one man openly cuck himself like this

It would be way better if it ended there with Dream Phone instead of prolonging the plot with unnecessary stuff.

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Why wasn't Bootsy or Kyle in the AVGN motion picture?

Shit, is that his actual wife? What the fuck?

Who are these guys?

>he's a fat uncharismatic loser
quit projecting, james.

That's not his wife.
His wife has never apeared in Cinemassacre.
Who was the cuck faggot that started that rumor?

What he should've done is try to make a feature length thing that had nothing to do with AVGN and just make it some kind of b-movie horror thing since that's what he really likes and would probably want to do (it might also do well since that kind of thing has kind of gotten popular again)

May have not been as successful if/when he tried to crowdfund it but at least it wouldn't have been as forgettable as the AVGN movie

AVGN movie was a very sad experience.

i remember when my brother show his videos. its funny, youre watching something from years and years and think that the guy will be able to keep things fresh...

and them he drops that. and the trailer was fine for what it was, but the movie is pure failure.

SPACE COP was more honest: it always look like a flaming piece of shit, 'le ironic bad flick'.

SPACE COP also manages to be worst.

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It was more of the Rooster Teeth guy's movie than James himself

Shit, do you think Ross Scott's movie is also going to suck?

Space Cop is shit because RLM are cowards that are afraid to be sincere in any way

Imagine seeing this image in 2004. You'd have nightmares for weeks

yes, basically.

it is hard for any film critic to do a movie, were talking about different things.

to direct youve gotta know what you want and how to get it, and this gotta happend with every person around and youve gotta know how to do it with each and every one of these people.

specially doing with no money, were begging and keeping everybody motivated is going to be a big part of the deal.

> RLM makes 30K monthly and arent motivated to do movie reviews.

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Basically, it's about everyone requesting him to play the Atari E.T. game, which he played in his hildhood whih was what made him so bitter, he refuses but eventually agree and then the movie is about finding the game, there's some shit about a guy with no legs in a tank or some shit, eventually he gets the game by an alien or some shit and reviews it

Has bootsy finally been vindicated?

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Every time he mentions "The Movie" at the point I can't help but think about Spoony.

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>my movies
Those movies aren't yours, James.

look man I like james but he is very fun to mock. similar to how I feel about joe rogan

he's a fat faggot

He really butchered board james

He approached the project getting just about everything wrong. He made it about the AVGN which was already taking the character out of what was normal and worked. He made it full of special effects shots which were done so quickly and cheaply it couldn't help but look amateur.

the E.T. games and their burial was always a meme on his channel and was the main point of the movie.
He even got more fucked when they actually dig them up before the movie came out

I don't understand why they had to fill it full of in-jokes that guaranteed nobody but heir most autistic fans would enjoy it. Mike and Rich and Jay to a lesser extent are solid actors. I guess they were just afraid to try.

>'if you're nothing without these movies then you shouldn't have them'

Nobody mocks him. He was an inspiration for a lot of people. It's just his current situation is extremely pathetic. People watch the channel's videos only because of him and he is no one there

t. brainlet
youtube.com/watch?v=qE6Gmy2t-Es

i lose it at Jason and the Argonauts.

Kyle and Mike made like a two second cameo. Bootsy I think he joined Cinemassacre after the movie.

>mr bucket is a pedophile he shared a prison cell with in his past life
wtf is james problem

Why did he and Mike argue?

Mike is a real piece of shit. I see no reason to think Bootsy is in the wrong at all.

fuck off jeff. bootsy is a greedy cunt.

seems like over how much each get payed

Well fuck Mike for not paying Bootsy for his work.

fuck bootsy for making everything about the money

its also very clear that James owns cinemassacre

Fuck you Mike and pay your friends

no, Ryan Schott (business mogul) is the owner of Cinemassacre and other Screenwave divisions.

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no hes not. this was debunked by mike on stream

mike doesnt own cinemassacr. james does, brainlet

That all sounds rather counterproductive towards the goal of becoming a cult classic.

tbch the movie would have done better if they had more diversity. It was still a Caucasian sausage fest imo

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exactly James owns cinemassacre its his company

It's a machinima... so it'll be fine.

>100% this, people would've still watched it and he wouldn't have been boxed in

Sure he does.
That's why he's dictated by Ryan as to what vids he should always make.

The last decent one I saw was the Berenstain bears one.

I am only going off what I have seen if you have any proof that its owned by someone else then post it

>The Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde AVGN review was made in 2004
>The game came out in 1989
>We're as far away from James' review, as it was from the game's actual release

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is it true that Screenwave Media owns the rights to the AVGN charecter?

damn.

there's the video from some con where the audience asks James to review the Aquaman game, and before James can stop slurring and mumbling to answer the Screenwave Slobs answer for him

Oh...Oh....oh

Fucking hell

If Mike Matei is worth a fucking million dollars I'm seriously going to rope.

At least he's not as widely reviled these days as Doug Walker.

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Loco Bandito is quite the valuable enterprise

oh no it's an interracial kiss

something nobody outside internet edgelord circles gives a fuck about

he's an angry nerd, not an incel dork

crinfe

youtube.com/watch?v=kMREImsJmuo
youtube.com/watch?v=yJraw-GYl3I

AVGN is so ingrained into my consciousness as a source of comfort. I'm pretty sure if I underwent some horrible, life changing tragedy I'd descend into my fugue state while watching the old episodes from the beginning.

Sorry? What's that? 'Crinfe'? Trying to communicate something friend?

crinfe

SAY IT AGAIN FAGGOT, SAY IT TO MY FACE

crinfe

Why are you all hating on james on this board. He seems like an okay dude

i stood by this when it came out, and i stand by it now.

The irate gamer did a better ROB the robot episode than james; and 3 years earlier

youtube.com/watch?v=o61VEG1nHKQ

nigga dummy cucked deadass af my guy

Yup. His wife wanted to be a part of the AVGN projects and Rolfe let her take the lead in the movie. Rolfe was supposed to fall in love with his wife, but she insisted she fall in love with someone else so the audience wouldn't find it so "weird."

The movie should have opened on the bulk of a regular review, but at some point he finds out he's out of beer or something and has to go outside into an unrelentingly realistic world. No zaniness, no jokes that would be out of place in the most low key sort of shit(think the British office.)

You've suddenly recontextualized the cartoonish coziness with the nothingness of real life. Instead of his apartment being a whole world that he never leaves, an enclosed, eternal parallel of a child’s blanket fort, it’s revealed to actually just be a self-made island of what he finds comforting, the only place he can really be himself.

And as people start to ask him questions about how he’s been doing, whether he’s got a job yet etc. we see that the AVGN stuff is his escape from a world he doesn’t want to really think about or engage with. He’s revealed as a NEET/Peter Pan figure, and the over the top video stuff is, within the movie, a sort of area of effect around him when he’s in his apartment, just like getting kinda drunk to forget about your problems while indulging in childhood hobbies you never grew out of feels in real life.

His brushes with the outside world/maybe financial realities cause him to have a midlife crisis and panic. From this point on it’s a cross between a sad indie-comedy like sideways with Scott Pilgrimish moments when it comes to the nerd sphere stuff interacting with the real world. Very similar plot to 40 year old version but with more genuine dread at realizing that you’ve been hiding from your problems for 30 years and it’s left your life a dead end.

>avgn movie
>everybody acts like he's some kind of legend
kek. james has such an ego.

It ultimately culminates in him finding something he really does want to do and learning something like adult level discipline, but he’s realized its something that builds on or is in some way related to the video game stuff. After jettisoning all the nerd shit as poison, also like 40 year old version, he ultimately realized its integral to who he is, that that stuff is actually beautiful and meaningful to people and there’s good reasons it means so much to him.

Or maybe go real indie with it and have it be a movie about realizing there’s nothing wrong with being a NEET and how life’s a scam apart from the things that bring you genuine joy.

I think this is the only way to do it. His style of YouTube video was of a different age when he made it, and even if he’d made it at ‘the right time’ it would have aged like Kickassia. Instead use the nerd character as a well established lense through which to talk about escapism, fear of the world, bad coping mechanisms and the quiet triumph of accepting who you are and feeling valid about what you love and what the things that you love might say about you. About how if Nintendo Games and acting like you hate them is the only thing you have, well, you still have something, and you know you’re being true to yourself because no-one would pretend to be the way you are.

He's barely surviving in some crumbling mold-infested house in Poland with his wife. I would be incredibly surprised if he ever finishes his movie.
If he does and it's like on the same level as that Civil Protection episode with the tunnel then I'm all for it though.

>butchered board james so much he had to put up a video explaining the plot
lmao

it was a different time.
he wrote it during 2008/2009 where everyone on the internet knew what avgn was.

that didnt translate well by 2014

this would have been good
I don't think James is clever enough to come up with something like this though

He must be paying these faggots, that's why.

I wonder who holds up better

James or Chris?

>2:44
"I mean after all, this is a highly technological piece of shit we're dealing with"

Kek

I believe the movie will get done and be competent, who knows how good it will be.

I just want more game dungeons, he really struck creative gold with it and the niche games. It is too bad he is so focused on the movie and Halflife

james cant into subtly and goes for the most generic root of things.
just look at his polybius episode. the most obvious thing that could happen is
>the nerd gets addicted to spooky game that we never see
and thats what he does. no clever twist

>all this time
>AVGN still has never been funny
Whoa...

This is what stumps me the most. Dude knows just about everything to do with horror movies/monsters. Why did he make his first ever attempt at a feature film
>AVGN episode but its 1 hour and a half long

Stupid.

james by far.
chris has his moments and stood up and are better (especially better than modern avgn), but overrall, irate gamer aged like milk.

I rewatched a bunch of eps i have not seen since 2008, and they mostly seem low qualtiy compared to avgn

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Nice Yea Forums meme. No one is flocking to James to tell him his movie sucks.

James is 80iq special needs, don't make fun

Where? I don't see it on his YT channel.

as I get older I feel sadder and saddar as I turn out to be just like james

at least you didnt marry a fat white trash whore0

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podcast on culkin's website
bunnyears.com/angry-video-game-nerd-macaulay-culkin-heidi-lux

fat slobs

It's like his aesthetic is rooted in the 1950s. The plot of Polybius is something that might have worked 70 years ago. I still thought it was a fine episode

>his dracula video was just talking about plot points and characters in a spreadsheet
KEK

He's a guy in his 30s making poo poo diarrhea jokes on youtube. I'd day they fit each other well.

>fit each other well
more like, james is able to be controlled well

Say YES, to VHS! :D

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We need a part 2 of Slob Zombie answering questions Yea Forums

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Kieran is the coolest of the lliteral who fatties.

He was here last night
he keeps coming back but we usually ignore him
all he does is whiteknight and astroturf

no he wasnt

each fatty has their own perk, the more i listen to them

he never officially cameback
all the times someone complains about jeffrey sweenie, theres a good chance thats slob though.

whats silvermans perk?

Yeah, they're alright overall. They all grow on you eventually

Woah you mean to tell me no talent critics who sit in front of still camera for 90% of their content cant create good movies? Woah!

Bet you were suprised to find out those fags at rlm cant make a movie for their lives. So many critics think this shit is easy and then they try it with absolutely no self awareness at all

besides the meme value on Yea Forums?
hes good for info dumps and is the most critical of the bunch of guys, except when he gushes over a film like starship trooper

HE'S SOON TO BE A THING OF THE PAST
THIS SHITTY YOUTUBER WHO SUCKED ASS

I've been thinking about something very similar for a long time, but as posters have already pointed out, James isn't this perceptive.

I like James' content for the nostalgia value. Its simple, comforting, sincere, and is drenched in early YT aesthetics which we all grew up on. I don't really take any of his film opinions seriously though; its trivia not analysis, though it is enjoyable to watch. The first line of every episode - "he's going to take you back to the past" - tells you everything you need to know.

Though I have to give him credit for (semi-consciously) establishing the conventions of early YT "review" content. He's in the same category as 2000s south park, world of warcraft, and early 2000s memes (I can haz cheezburger?) for me. Anyone else feel the same?

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Kieran is the most casual of the 4. His advantage is being the only one that apparently cares about video games and has decent taste in them.

Tony is the guy who likes quirky shit.

Justin is the "achktually..." fat nerd of the group. Is nlt afraid to voice his opinion even if it gles against everyone else there

James goes full autism over the stuff he likes.

None of them can top Mike. Mike has a big dick, excellent taste in video games and a hot girlfriend.

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And he was cucked by bootsy, true story

Mike's streaming fanbase steadily grows. Do you think he ever plans to abandon James if he gets big enough?

bootsy is 5'7" who the fuck are you fooling?

>Hot girlfriend

If you think that's hot you are truly gay

>abandon james
no
>use streaming as insurance for the day cinemassacre falls
yes

mike is definitely the most financially secure of screenwave; next to ryan.

>he thinks james is based

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based. anyone watching his recent playthrough?

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>abandon james

mike is the founder of cinemassacre

what the hell is that white liquid? the bull's semen? onions?

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semen

Did he ban every person who whispered anything remotely close to "brown bricks" in the chat?

hes actually talking about it now

Look at that pure smile and happiness. How can you guys bully him? I unironically wish I was his friend.

hes in on inspector gadget now. he started the stream with
>i dont know what the block does
and menioned brown bricks.

you can tell hes a bit hesistant making jokes those, because he sill feels a bit remorse

bonus: mike acknowledged the loco bandito comics recently too, and said they were edgy and unfunny

Bootsy fucked Mike's ex gf, that tranny chick

He has brown bricks filtered in his chat. You can't even say it. Same with the words 'bootsy' and 'mineycrafta'

What's up with the brown bricks thing?

brownbrick
in
minecraft

lol

This, they are comfy and I don't even have nostalgia for them or anything like that

how long has it been? it's had to have been going on 6 years now

SHEIT

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Yeah, pretty much. People can dislike his content all they want, I find a lot of it a little juvenile nowadays myself. But his influence on pop culture is immense and undeniable. It's actually a little ridiculous all things considered how influential he is. YouTube reviews of old media and the general retro frenzy that has never abated since then, the half-review-half-skit format that people still use today, bringing several cult games and movies to the forefront of popular culture, along with the general prospect of living independently off of Internet content. The guy's a fucking pioneer like it or not.

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Daily reminder that anyone defending Kieran on this board is Kieran himself.

Something about this dude creeps me out. Like I feel he's the most likely to snap one day and violently murder everyone in the show

Stop baiting for me to respond

rental reviews would unironically have potential without justin silverman

Top 3 thrash albums big K

At least they decided early enough to review old stuff exclusively, rather than becoming the poor man's Half in the Bag.

>kierans full name is kieran kearst kelmsley
wtf

Never seen it. Does James sellout in the movie for a wider audience? Did he tone his potty mouth and humor down?

For the love of God
That picture can't have anymore fraud

You fags should make a show on Cinemassacre without James.

I'm not actually him, I was just shitposing.

Was the AVGN movie better than Space Cop?

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It gets bonus points for being sincere instead of "dude it's supposed to suck, this movie is ironic lmao"

What's his deal again?
He's friends with Tony who went to work for screenwave media and he literally tagged along?
He was a complete literal who neet up until that point?

It looks like a made for tv movie, and the plot is cliche and contrived. The Nerd still swears and there is some really bad gore but none of the fecalfelia from early AVGN. It's pretty bad even for a youtuber movie.

do sex

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I always thought that under that cap was hiding an incipient bald

Check 'em.

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AVGN getting pussy would tie up loose ends from the atari porn epsiode

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what about "12 inches"?

I made it about five minutes into the AVGN movie before turning it off.

I only made it less than a minute into Space Cop before closing it. It really is that much worse.

Its one rich fan "Ryan Walker" or something that gift-subs everybody in Mike's Twitch streams. Once that gravy train fan calls it quits Mike is done.

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With Yea Forums it's always a hate-fuck relationship.

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Have you ever had to pretend to like something your friend did Yea Forums?
youtube.com/watch?v=n--Y8fXw5J4

AVGN: The Movie killed Cinemassacre and James' soul.

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do you think her panties smell like french fries?

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Spoony: The Motion Picture is coming out THIS year, I JUST know it! YEAR OF THE 'TANG!

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Pure Kino! Irate Gamer did it YEARS before James and it so did Spoony. And James STILL thought it was a good idea to base an entire movie around E.T. and not even call it that... I knew it was going to be shit before it ever came out.

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This was also way better than James' video on ROB.

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Smells like unclean Dick, her dick

>Hot girlfriend

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is that idubbbz?

Attached: 1506225994795.jpg (421x303, 31K)

She's kinda cute.
Why are you fags' standards so fucking high? You know only rich chads will ever get the top girls we love fapping to right?

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TORNADO REX
GET READY FOR THE RIDE

oh god, mike no.

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>20+ years strong friendship broken over money
It's sad, really.

Mike actually had bettrr chemistry with bootsy on some videos than what he has with james.

who's this?

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his share of cinemassacre is worth far more than 1 million

Mike and Bootsy Tuesdays were pure comfy.

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Better times.

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Mike is a total leech. I bet half of the money he makes comes from AVGN views.

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I never saw the avgn movie.

James is a perfect example of how your wife and friends can drag you down into ruination. He should've just left it all behind before he filled that jew with baby batter.

You're lucky.

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I'm too scared to watch it. I love James' work but I haven't heard anything positive about the AVGN movie.

>Half
That weasel would be nothing without cinemassacre

i cant even watch mike and bootsy tuesday anymore. its hard knowing it all goes to shit

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Reminder that James didn't know what a harpy was or what a scythe was or why the Grim Reaper uses one.

youtube.com/watch?v=oSRgMIdR8QA
C L A S S I C!

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ive seen like 95% of cinemassacre vids, including james old spike movie reviews.

but, i made an oath to never see the avgn movie. the whole premise of it is so wrong

reminder that mike does coke

His iq Is 80, give him a chance

Fuck Mike

ya seethe bootsy?

I almost lost respect for james after watching it. I just pretend it never happened.
Don't bother, specially if you like the guy.

I really hope not. Ross is too based and I don’t want him to fail.

why was this deleted?

"...I'm sorry it had to come to this James, but you left me no choice!"

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REMINDER THAT JAMES HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK HE'S DOING. RYAN AND HIS FRIENDS ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THAT

youtube.com/watch?v=w7VBIGQbVPo

IT TOOK JAMES OVER A MONTH TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO TRANSFER RECORDED GAME FOOTAGE FROM A PC TO A MAC

yeah we all know hes a retard

I want to go back...

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Didn't he use to put new AVGN episodes on ScrewAttack.com first?

I feel for young James. Being that awkward guy that’s so wrapped up in your hobby that you feel like an outcast loser. Now he’s got a family and has created a legacy. I just hope that he can make it as a filmmaker in the long term. AVGN movie sucked but if he had a Blumhouse gig then I think he’d do something great with it.

The good ol' days

i remember when cinemassacre was a separate channel and watching the first monster madness via that

He could make it as a pornstar with that footlong hog he’s got.

and gametrailers

No. Started on youtube.
He's like the first big e-celeb

shit is like a fucking baguette

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One of the first channels I ever subscribed to. His Nightmare on Elm Street video had kid me laughing harder than I've ever laughed before.

I really miss those days.

Mike is a literal chad. he had multiple girlfriends in highschool, so many, that some of mikes old highschool and college friends and highschool have come out and said that he moves through girls too fast

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Check this out!

Attached: Advertise here!.png (831x483, 22K)

beat me to it

Hi mike

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wtf is an alexa rating

I just saw the new Dracula video he uploaded and it was fucking great
He should just stick to movie related videos, let AVGN end and let Mike and the rest do their bing bing wahoo shit on their own.

his new gf erin is cute as fuck desu, i watch her stream and youtube videos

He has made literally no movies though?

This is a perfect review for the movie. An AVGN movie had serious potential as something more small scale, like an indie film about an eccentric weirdo or a silly road movie ala Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. Turning it into a special effects extravaganza, with no thought put into successful worldbuilding or characters, is a horrible direction to go in.

James wanted to play director, and probably thought he'd never get another chance with such a budget so decided to cram as much shit he dreamt up when he was 13 as he could. At least you can brush off stuff like the giant robot monster and the nightmare scene as something he made for his inner child, but the general plot and direction is an unwatchable contradiction of being too different to make sense in the context of his YT videos, but too niche to appeal to anybody outside of fans. At least it shits on the Doug Walker "films".

He also created the abominations known as Loco Bandito, Mineycrafta and that Elmo video. He has the mental capacity of a 12-year old.

CineMassacre has nearly 3 million subscribers now
It's a site that ranks websites by web traffic, it's been around since the 90s

her hairstyle and glasses are atrocious are indicators of mental illness

i cant believe this is still up

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and this
youtube.com/watch?v=cbKHHqR4WXo
6:07

also this
youtube.com/watch?v=ld2p3J0zd5o
0:25

What did Mike mean by this?

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Ebay auction for the Batman animation.

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>youtube.com/watch?v=cbKHHqR4WXo
BASED

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Nerds are dorks

if you try to please everyone, you please no one.

It was Youtube first, then Gametrailers with Screwattack, then back to youtube

Should we tell him

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AAAAUuuuuuuuUGH!

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It'd be a mercy killing at this point.

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Mike has a notorious hentai addiction and stays up well into the early morning hours browsing it.

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WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
youtube.com/watch?v=kmMhzaF7puM

youtu.be/Do-s-Fx-Rjk?t=4337

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ryan "electrons move through reality"

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>0:52
neat

C-Cosmo?

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why is everyone fat

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more like, why arnt you fat? haha

scratch scracth

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>a guy with an IQ this low created the modern video game reviewer
We have no excuse to be losers.

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was board james kino?
youtube.com/watch?v=d98wnzh1ZsE

never has a webm sum up james rolfe as a person so well

see

Imagine hitting Justin as hard as possible with a baseball bat.

>mikemateiwhitenationalist
>mikemateiheight
>no mikemateighdicklength>10inches

Mike my boy, you're slipping

What the fuck? Who made those tags?

>it's had to have been going on 6 years now
He finished Freeman's Mind in 2014, publicly announced "The Movie" in early 2015. So it's been 4 years, but he said he'd had the ideas for the movie way before he announced it, so it's been like 10-15 years.
>It is too bad he is so focused on the movie and Halflife
Now he's putting edited maps and custom animations into Freeman's Mind 2. The dude is going all out. I'm always impressed by the amount of work the guy puts into his content. He's barely scraping by, and it takes forever, for him to release videos, but I can't think of other Youtubers where the quality of their content is as consistently high as his.

Delete this post

who knows. theyre on multiple sites.

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haha, time well spent, right guys?

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Oh God

That'd be like doing a review on Half Life 2, GTA San Andreas, or Katamari Damacy today, and then looking back on it in 2034.
Damn graphics advanced pretty fucking fast from 1989 to 2004.

Fat ass army

Why the hell did they randomly have Alpha stop by?

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Oh wow, that's precious. I tried watching some of J&MM, but the screaming and autism(from both of them) was a little too much for me.

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;_;

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Fuck Bootsy

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They actually tried. It wasn't some cheap
>B-But i-it was ironic so it's okay it's shit! I intentionally made a shitter so it's okay it's one!
the way Space Cop was. I honestly don't get what Space Cop was about. Are people to afraid of criticism to play shit straight and have to "ironically" shit everything as if to preemptively damage control?

I miss Captain S bros

literally only know him for that nerd crossover ep

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>not Earthbound

April 1988, so next year.

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