What was his fucking problem? Was he already some kind of snake demon thing when he killed Conan's mom...

He worshipped and was given power by Set (that's how he mind controls people).

Attached: Set_(Earth-616)_from_Marvel_Zombies_Handbook_Vol_1_1_001.jpg (699x1243, 226K)

Spell and high charisma. He also seemed 'forgiving' to his main priests (i.e. 'help him') extremely chill. Not a lot of villains like this anymore. I can only hope Sauron is a fraction of what Thulsa is in the crappy Amazon LOTR show.

Thulsa Doom waited and waited for the right man to build a perfect baseball park so that they would come.

He really made the movie. It wouldn't have been memorable without him.

Conan is made just as much by the supporting cast as it is Arnie himself. I think thats something a lot of people started to miss in the 90's and why his star began to fade.

>his star began to fade
Says you!

He literally explains this in the torture scene:

but they already have steel swords. wtf was that about

Could be the best fantasy kino, right up there with LOTR and Willow. And fuck you if you don't like Willow.

I only like Willow because of the old lady fight at the end

Every time I watch conan my appreciation grows, went from top 50 to top ten to top 5.

guess you haven't solved the riddle of steel. faggot.

>Atlantian warlord sorcerer wants all the good steel and the secrets of creating it
>Kills a village of Cimmerians looking for said steel
~Twenty years later
>Atlantian warlord sorcerer understands that good fighting men are better than steel
>A Cimmerian fighting man kills said sorcerer with Atlantian steel

>Watching Red Sonja movie
>arnie shows up
>oh shit
>hes not playing Conan, but just some random dude

Attached: oh nooo.jpg (263x192, 10K)

what happened to this guy?

Attached: Conan the Barbarian 1982-00h06m48s658t.png (1920x816, 1.74M)

Fuck. I never knew this other than this was the perfect movie besides The Thing, Once Upon a Time in the West, and Apocalypto.

Maybe that's how the director thought it, but that's not how the source material is

Forgot to add shin Godzilla was pretty up there too.

user, the setting is clearly its own take. You'll notice later Conan books/comics weren't written by Howard either, splitting the fanbase into loyalists and extended-universe enthusiasts. The Thulsa Doom on film is an amalgam of the actual Lich-like Thulsa Doom, who *was* from Atlantis in Kull, and Thoth Amon, the high priest of Set.

True, but it was fucking awesome.

Thulsa talks about set, set is warshipped by the stygians. Stygians are a mix of a race of slaves from the southern part of the hyborian world and strange people from the East (who no one really knew what they were). This inclines me to believe if he's not a stygian, he's one of these strangers from the East (from around the time atlantis sank) he is not an atlantean however.
READ THE HYBORIAN AGE ESSAY FROM HOWARD

Attached: hour of drago.jpg (1200x825, 178K)

Holy shit. Read

the circus left the realm, never to be heard from again

shame hollywood can't do conan right since arnie was still spry enough to play the part

Attached: frank_frazetta_thebarbarian.jpg (892x1200, 522K)

Thoth Amon is in Conan the Destroyer though. And as I sadi Thulsa acknowledges set so I don't think he's an Atlantean. The Kull connection is interesting. I haven't read kull so I don't really know about that. Im still going with

now there's a character i would unironically cast idris elba as

And, as I don't consider non Howard works canon, Id say him being a member of the slave masters from the East would make sense and it falls in line with Howard's canon, rather than that of the comic books

Why does Set look like Orochi?

Okay, but that's not what the director said.

The director literally doesn't matter. That's like saying D&D's fanfiction (or even worse, headcanon) version of GOT is canon.

The films aren't adhering to Howard's canon other than the vital key elements.
They're just taking in its many ideas. In this world he is from an Atlantean culture, which is ironically accurate in Howard's works, as he wrote Kull. Him being the head of a snake cult is entirely the gig of Thoth Amon in the novels. It's a mix. Stop overthinking it.

In this case he does though. At least regarding the first film. The setting of the films aren't Howard's canon. They're its own grittier thing -- the actual works of Howard are downright abstract and outrageous in comparison.

He says he's supposed to "look like a race that disappeared" "part of a migration of a race that had died out, Atlantean type of character"
Youre likely correct. Im just trying to fit it into my head canon of only Howard's works plus the movies. And him being from this slave master race from the East who were mysterious, practiced magic, etc lines up with him
>looking like the last of his race
>having the ability to morph into a snake
and this race's descendents being the stygians who warship Set would explain him acknowledging set.
Like I said, youre probably right, but this fits the Howard canon too

I hate that marvel/ disney once again has publishing rights to produce Conan comics

plus, if he was Atlantean, why would he want the answer to the riddle of steel? Wouldn't he already know as they had it?

>In this world he is from an Atlantean culture, which is ironically accurate in Howard's works, as he wrote Kull.
what kull story is he in? Im gonna have to read those

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thulsa_Doom

>The Thing, Once Upon a Time in the West, and Apocalypto

Patrician taste user

Attached: belissima.gif (331x197, 1.87M)

thank you for the spoon feed fren

Attached: 5bcf6e560464b6.86599482.png (565x547, 58K)

The picts porked him to death

>Once Upon a Time in the West
I consider the Good the Bad and the Ugly to be better. What makes OUTIW better?

Absolutely BASED

Chuckled, but to be fair, he killed him with broken steel, which sorta underlines the point. The toughness and sharpness of the sword are those of the wills wielding them.

"Your hands must be huge to wield any sword the size of an ancient road, and yet he who is of right stature may irritate the sun with only a stick."

Attached: Azoth.jpg (850x900, 361K)

kino list brother.

>John Milius
>fanfiction

where are you so I can fight you?

This board memed me into watching this movie. It was a very good decision

Attached: DA42322F-3145-434E-9A51-FC4FA4BFB9AA.jpg (832x1000, 47K)

>what is steel boy to the hand that wields it

Won the Olympia

>This board memed me into watching this movie
not growing up with Conan as a young man
> do zoomers even have a chance?

Attached: a09.23 PM.png (1044x575, 1.08M)

Thulsa Doom, in the film, is not Stygian or Atlantean. Milius just wanted him to look like a race that no longer exists (hence the dark skin, the blue eyes, and the long, straight hair). No one else in the film looks like Thulsa Doom and that was by design. You need to accept that this film exists in its own Conanverse and not in REH's.

Also an Atlantean DOES show up in the film: it's the giant skeleton corpse Conan obtains his sword from in that ancient tomb (hence why it's called the Atlantean sword).

Conan in the film is actually closer in characterization to Kull from the original REH stories. Kull is also a barbarian like Conan, but he's more brooding and introspective which is how film Conan is.

superior barbarian coming through

Attached: d8eb07ffa3ca884cafbc5927ea518e2c.jpg (800x1047, 116K)

fuck off cohen

>not including The Road Warrior
Almost, user.

Would love to see an Hour of the Dragon film

Attached: Xaltotun.jpg (846x835, 345K)

They already made one and it was terrible.

Attached: serveimage.jpg (474x636, 56K)

>tfw 22 year old doomer but my dad showed me Conan the Destroyer when I was a small child, saw barbarian before I was 13.
How have zoomers not seen it? Im borderline and Ive seen it

that's not the hour of the dragon

>ywn watch Arnold journey through the black pyramid

>that's not the hour of the dragon
They based the script off that story and it was the same script that would have been used for the third Conan film with Arnold. So if you want to see how Hollywood would adapt Hour of the Dragon then watch Kull the Conqueror.

This user is correct. AFAIK Conan's people are descendants from the actual Atlanteans, which is why they know the secret of steel in the first place. Everybody else just uses bronze (bends, is expensive) or shitty iron weapons (brittle).

That bitch isn't Xaltotun. They just took its ideas and shat it out. Fuck it.

>but that's not how the source material is
The source material Thulsa Doom was Skeletor, so of course they made radical changes.

Man, I thought you were talking about Krull at first. That one was... special. Great soundtrack, though.

I really do think you can fit it with Howard's stories though. It would make sense for him to be one of the Eastern Masters with his shape shifting, snake warship, and strange look.

Would like to see some of the far east in Conan's setting. Khitai has sorcerers that put post-Acheron Stygia's to shame.

Attached: Khitai_Sorcerer.jpg (700x465, 92K)

and he would've been from around the time atlantis sunk and would could easily be the last of his kind

That's honestly some creepy artwork

user, that is kinda scary, and it looks like something Conan would cut down. Not a bad idea

I own this, lads. Never read a Conan story. Is there a particular order to read them in or should I just go cover to cover? Also, which are the best stories?

Attached: THCMPLTCHB2006.jpg (399x600, 71K)

You need to read the stories in the order they were written by REH; NOT in the order they were published and definitely not in chronological order. And you need to make sure you're reading them unedited (which is why the Del Rey collections are the absolute best collections of Howard's writings).
And the stories I think are the best of the best would be:

>The Phoenix on the Sword
>The Tower of the Elephant
>The Scarlet Citadel
>Queen of the Black Coast
>Rogues in the House
>The Hour of the Dragon
>Beyond the Black River
>Red Nails

But REH never wrote a "bad" Conan story; some just aren't quite as good as they could have been.

I hope this tome is unedited, because it's handsome as fuck and I don't want to have to re-purchase the stories individually. Thanks though, I'll google the chronology in which Howard wrote them.

I'm not sure what order it follows. I've been reading the 3 books del Rey did that released them in the order they were written. I can tell you that, it doesn't really matter what order you read them in as the stories don't really connect, it's more like Conan is just telling you about his various adventures.
As for best stories
>The hour of the dragon (it's a full novel)
>The scarlet citadel
>The Phoenix on the sword
>queen of the black coast
>The black colossus
>xuthal of the dusk (aka the slithering shadow)
>The tower of the elephant
Also, I haven't yet read Red Nails but it is often considered one of his best

you can read them however you like, they are self contained short stories, and kind of mini legends. characters are referenced from other tales, but they're explained in a way where you don't really need to have read the story they first appear to understand their motivations

it only really becomes important to read in sequence once conan sets his sights on ruling Aquilonia, that's when shit becomes serial

I don't know anything about that book. I just own the Del Rey collections and it's universally agreed they're the best collections on Conan and REH's other characters and writings. The stories are in the order REH wrote them and completely unedited. Plus a TON of extras and even drawings sprinkled throughout.

I think the version you have is by publishing date, rather than when Howard wrote them (you might not expect there to be much difference but there is some)
I've read some reviews that say there are copies of that version that are missing chapters of stories so be on the lookout for that. As far as if it's unedited, it sounds like it is but I can't confirm

Did he publish any actual collections in his lifetime, or was it all just in pulp mags one at a time kinda thing?

he didn't live long enough for that, his short stories and notes/ unfinished writings are all he produced before he followed his mother to the grave

In his lifetime; no. In fact I believe the collections Del Rey put out were the only collections to publish ALL the stories completely unedited and in the order they were written.

Pulp magazines (hence there being fewer connections between stories), with the exception being his first and only novel (Hour of the Dragon).
If you want to know about the world read the hyboream age essay, but a knowledge of it is not required to enjoy the stories.

I'm glad you lot were here to answer these questions, I feel like I can enjoy the stories more with the context you've provided.

No problem. Sometimes threads here can be productive

I have the same book.

The stories are included in the order Howard wrote them. So it's logical to read the book from front to back.

I will say that Conan is not Howard's best character, merely his most marketable.

Solomon Kane is a better character and has better stories. Kull is also really good. But Solomon Kane is legit extremely good stuff. Conan is sort of the same sort of hack & slash adventure every time. I still love it, but Solomon Kane has more going on I think.

>The stories are included in the order Howard wrote them
If the Wikipedia order is correct (it might not be) en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Complete_Chronicles_of_Conan it's publishing order. Frost giants daughter was the second story Howard wrote, but wasn't published till after his death
I agree Conan can get samey. You'll hit a stretch where it's
>Conan kills thing and saves girl
Haven't read Solomon Kane. I know they did a movie several years ago

why did conan's gf come back to help him? was that crom's doing?

It’s LotR I don’t like. Or rather the sequels. The first is fine as far as a movie adaptation of the book is concerned, but the second two are loud and dumb.

are you implying "conan kills thing and saves girl" is ever at any point a bad format?

Worthy enough to receive divine aid. Not the first time in the books either.

the only point that springs to mind I can recall is crom curing conan of a poison

Crom also saved him from a sorcerer. Yah Chieng or whatever.

Arnie could still play the part as long as you set it late in Conan’s life, after he’s a claimed a thrown and has grown tired of being a king. It’s the movie he has tried to pitch for years now.

If a reboot is considered instead, then The Rock should probably play him.

>Solomon Kane is a better character and has better stories.
I like Solomon Kane and his stories, but no.
>Kull is also really good.
Not compared to Conan or even Kane. There's a reason Kull never became popular like Conan and REH abandoned him. Hell Conan is basically an upgraded version of Kull.

>>Conan kills thing and saves girl
Most of his stories are NOT like that and the ones that are like that is because REH was desperate for money and knew Weird Tales would buy those stories because of the added T n' A factor.

ew no, that'd be the kiss of death for the picture

battle pleases crom

>Most of his stories are NOT like that
I know. And those that are aren't bad, just trying to help give an idea of the content

what's your favorite tale?

Mine would have to be Conan and the ice giants. It's fun, it's short, and it's a classic exposition of conan's irreverence and strength in the face of supernatural forces. It's much in the tradition of sagas.

I don't mind Crom's portrayal in the film because the film is just so damn good and I can deal with it existing in its own universe, but Crom helping Conan in book or comic-form is beyond retarded. Conan states several times in the original stories that Crom couldn't give less of a fuck about anyone and that praying to him or asking him for favor would be the same as asking Crom to curse you: he would only send you dooms and deaths for bothering him.

>If a reboot is considered instead, then The Rock should probably play him.

Dude. Hercules and Scorping King. Do you hate Conan or something

The Scarlet Citadel. Really highlights what a fantastic writer Howard could be in two areas of writing with the first half of the story being dark and horror filled and the second half being a sweeping epic full of battles and intrigue that he didn't need 20 books to explain. Plus I just love the idea of Conan teaming up with a sorcerer who he'd probably kill in any other situation, but they needed each other to survive. I could have read entire stories about those two going on wacky adventures together.

I don't recall conan ever seeking crom's aid, crom is just looking down from his throne of crom stuff and liking where conan is taking things enough to give him a fuck you device to keep it going

Crom would never do that though. As Conan stated: Crom gave the Cimmerians strength to survive when they're born and that's the only help they ever expected of him.

maybe crom likes to throw a wrench in the plans of the dark gods for a laugh, as that's what is happening whenever he's giving conan the unspeakably rare mulligan

Any love for my nigga Kane? He's pretty obscure these days, but the best Kane stories (IMO) come very, very close to rivaling the best Conan stories from REH himself.

Attached: Karl Edward Wagner's Kane.jpg (1280x1502, 325K)

>the riddle of steel.

How the fuck could John Fucking Milius and Oliver Fucking Stone, fuck up so badly?!

They had dozens of Conan stories by Howard to work with, yet pissed it all away with an utterly retarded script of their own devising.

Attached: robert e howard.jpg (727x1024, 184K)

>The singing of the swords was a deathly clamor in the brain of Godric de Villehard. Blood and sweat veiled his eyes and in the instant of blindness he felt a keen point pierce a joint of his hauberk and sting deep into his ribs. Smiting blindly, he felt the jarring impact that meant his sword had gone home, and snatching an instant's grace, he flung back his vizor and wiped the redness from his eyes. A single glance only was allowed him: in that glance he had a fleeting glimpse of huge, wild black mountain, of a clump of mail-clad warriors, ringed by a howling horde of human wolves;, and in the center of that clump, a slim, silk-clad shape standing between a dying horse and a dying swordsman. Then the wolfish figures surged in on all sides, hacking like madmen.

>Christ and the Cross!" the old Crusading shout rose in a ghastly croak from Godric's parched lips.

Robert E. Howard wrote incredible stuff. That's the beginning of Red Blades of Black Cathay, one of his tales set in the orient, this one during the crusades.

eh, it could have been worse, it was something of an assortment of tales, and themes from conan's tales, it was authentic and righteous in itself in the end

>Arnie could still play the part as long as you set it late in Conan’s life

Yes, lets skip Conan's entire history and all the classic stories written by Robert E. Howard, just so we can have fat, old and washed up Schwarzenigger play the role again...

>If a reboot is considered instead, then The Rock should probably play him.

Maybe 20 years ago but not now. They had Carl Drogo who was prefect as the new Conan and the fucking talentless greedy Jews in Hollywood threw away the opportunity for a fucking cool as fuck tv series and simply recycled the stupid story from the 1st movie.

Attached: conan-jason-momoa.jpg (2000x1333, 361K)

>Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian

Attached: blackhairedandsulleneyed.jpg (1566x2324, 510K)

arnold wasn't such a big name in his day going into conan right? there must be an unknown fitness nut that's taking bad accent and acting classes in between iron that'd also fit the bill

>The films aren't adhering to Howard's canon other than the vital key elements.

If by "vital key elements" you mean looting the original stories for the character's name and few story elements, then yes.

The fact is that all the Conan flicks are straight up shit, as Hollywood in it's typical arrogance thought they were better writers then Robert Ervin Fucking Howard, who is still being published and read today all over the world, 80 years after his death.

Attached: Robert_E_Howard.jpg (696x900, 225K)

Can't lose my car and dog to drive a bunch of dirt. I love that movie to remind me that no good deed goes unpunished.

Attached: 1547259282374.jpg (700x762, 151K)

Kino, coming trough,
m.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=1_6tniIfrFU

this but not, I think Arnie would give his all for one last Conan, but Momoa was perfect Conan but literally everything else about the film was fucked, heard he begged to do the arnie sword stance at least once and they refused, he finally got them to agree to at least to the other one (sword held straight up) can't find the screen shot right now

What the absolute fuck

>arnold wasn't such a big name in his day going into conan right?

Arnold was literally the perfect Conan and that's the ONLY thing they got right with the 1980s movies (the music was good also) but he's old as fuck nowadays, who the hell wants to see him in a Conan flick with his saggy man-boobs flopping all over the place?

Attached: conan-20091116_conan.png (1024x576, 618K)

the 90s was a beautiful time for honest saturday morning cartoon watching kids

I think he means adhering to the general theme and ideas of Howard, but you are just being a fake elitist faggot, back when, films that were good and kept to the ideas use to be good, see literally everything raimi has done

Carl Drogo was the perfect choice for a modern day Conan tv series but as usual, the Hollywood Jews fucked it all up.

Attached: conan-jason-momoa-2011.jpg (951x633, 341K)

That film was so shit i turned it off before Momoa even showed up.
They will never do younger Conan justice, so Arnold as old Conan or nothing.

he looks like a man of koth or shem (apart from the missing beard)

Not fat enough. Doom's size played a big part in his villain mystique.

yea I don't want to fuck around with the BR I got for like $3 but right at the end he does the sword held up one handed, luke skywalker but really og conan style,you could tell he really just wanted to make a conan film but everything around himwas fucked

We had cartoons back in the day when we would watch stuff on Saturday morning and eating sugar cereal instead of playing fortnite all fucking hours of the night.

Attached: Brak.jpg (300x294, 16K)

> I think he means adhering to the general theme and ideas of Howard,

The story a mish-mash of irrelevant shit and flat-out retardation; pushing a fucking wheel for years on end turns you into Conan - what the ever living fuck was that?!

> but you are just being a fake elitist faggot

Son, I saw the movie in the theater when it came out and even at the ago of 14, I knew it was crap.

I wish people would stop sucking John Milius' cock over this movie, he had a chance to make something great and instead, just churned out a generic shit-flick that was only saved by Arnold's popularity.

Attached: conan books.jpg (600x988, 136K)

>lets skip Conan's entire history and all the classic stories written by Robert E. Howard
On what planet do you live where making a movie about an elderly Conan means that we suddenly can never make any more movies about a younger Conan?

saturday morning cartoons were the best thing ever, poor kids these days

wow dude, yer almost as old as my mum

so angry, i've read howard most ppl ITT have, conan 1982 is still really good, stay mad retard

I miss centurions and bravestarr.

>On what planet do you live where making a movie about an elderly Conan means that we suddenly can never make any more movies about a younger Conan?

They already made a new Conan movie back in 2011 and it was a total flop ($50 million box office on a $100 million production, before factoring in advertising) and now it's too late to get Carl Drogo back on board, as he's Aquachad and tied up with that.

Attached: Conan the Barbarian 2011.jpg (535x793, 131K)

>They already made a new Conan movie back in 2011
Yes? Your point?

for me it was moo mesa

I miss all of it,back when marvel meant something fun, iron man and f4 were highlights and transformers was the best,also motu and literally everything else the entire line up when I was growing up

>conan 1982 is still really good

It was never good, the only thing it had going for it was Arnold and cool music.

Attached: Frank Frazetta-Conan-1971.jpg (1035x1200, 421K)

>Yes? Your point?

They ain't going to make another one, at least not for LONG time.

Attached: Frank Frazetta-warrior.jpg (898x1200, 302K)

Which has nothing to do with the discussion you jumped into.

it was always good stop sniffing your own farts, the REH stories were better as always the book is better then the movie, but hating on Conan 82 is pure pleb faggotry

I'm a die hard Howard fan and I love the movie.

It does take extreme liberties. Conan acts more like Kull. In the stories Conan is a loud mouthed boisterous braggart. In the movie Conan is solemn, introverted, doesn't say a lot. That's a lot more like Kull.

Also they used dozens of pieces from various Howard stories. A Hyrkanian named Subotai is even mentioned in passing in a Conan story. The Tower Of Set from the movie is ripped directly from a Howard story. There's tons of little details and ideas taken from the stories.

So to me it really feels like a Howard story. It's full of Howard's ideas. It just doesn't use any one specific story.

>Which has nothing to do with the discussion you jumped into.

Yes it does, we're talking about the Conan 1982 and that by default, includes the entire "Conan Cinematic Universe".

>it was always good stop sniffing your own farts, the REH stories were better as always the book is better then the movie, but hating on Conan 82 is pure pleb faggotry

Well, I'll admit I might be over reacting to all the plebs here furiously fellating Milius but I had read all the Conan stories and was super hyped for the movie back then as only a kid with no Internet could be and it was like getting kicked in the balls. I remember talking it up to my friends and when we saw it, everybody just kind shrugged I ended up looking like a chump.

But I stand by position that the Conan movies (all of them) are a perfect example of a wasted golden opportunity.

Attached: Frank Frazetta-Conan.jpg (1048x1325, 1.25M)

I'm sorry you were embarrassed 40 years ago when your friends didn't like a movie

dude its a great film, its just both you and your friends were total plebs, it happens

>Yes it does
No.

>we're talking about the Conan 1982
We weren't.

Thulsa Doom is over 900 years old

It's a low-magic world and he's a 15th-level specialty priest of Set. They can't even exist in his presence, he could conquer half the world with a 2nd-level hold person spell.

The Conan comics ("magazines") are where AD&D got the demilich from, Thulsa Doom's hilarious talking skull that Conan fishes up one day on a boat with a bunch of swarthy men.

bullshit he's an ancient sorcerer, at least lv20 1/2 blood something

Attached: Thulsaisdisappoint.jpg (1280x720, 39K)

That's false edition blasphemy for one thing. For another thing he's obviously the character with more than one class / dual class.

Strange choice to not case contingency or stoneskin and to get 1-shotted

>A recent DNA analysis of three Cimmerians indicate "the appearance of East Asian haplogroups in the steppe populations might be associated with the Iron Age nomads, starting with the Cimmerians."[29] The authors found it "noteworthy that the oldest of the Cimmerians studied here (cim357) carried almost equal proportions of Asian and West Eurasian components, resembling the Pazyryks, Aldy-Bel, and Iron Age individuals from Russia and Kazakhstan. The second oldest Cimmerian (cim358) was also the only one with both uniparental markers pointing toward East Asia. The Q1* Y chromosome sublineage of Q-M242 is widespread among Asians and Native Americans and is thought to have originated in the Altai Mountains.
Subotai was closer to Cimmerians than Conan, lol.

>false
wat? he is an atlatian from before the thurian age, well sort of

>specialist

still the GOAT fantasy film

Attached: conan jap.jpg (2053x2896, 962K)

Licensing issue. And maybe to sucker Arnie back in too since he didn't want to do Conan again after Destroyer didn't fly so good.

Reminder: We might be getting some potential Sword & Sorcery kino in a few weeks.

Attached: the head hunter poster.jpg (599x974, 171K)

Conan is the movie that really started his career.
Much as I love Arnie, he was actually too big for the role. Literally, he had to drop a bit of mass just to swing the damn sword around.

Arnold was a living Frank Frazetta painting, the casting was perfect.

Attached: conan-the-barbarian-2.jpg (1038x1388, 113K)

best poster

Attached: 20190321_090000.jpg (600x1067, 461K)

Attached: 1522935130881.jpg (1344x572, 102K)

Any one else like to watch the first 30 mins with the young witch daughter

Attached: vlcsnap-2019-03-21-01h45m26s938.png (720x304, 213K)

then latch Leigh Stevenson anal videos

Attached: vlcsnap-2019-03-21-01h42m05s218.png (320x246, 116K)

I had never heard of Conan then Arnold was on Johnny Carson and he asked whats with the hair and he said it was real he grew it out as he is about to start filming a movies called Conan

holy fuck this is in my top 5 best pornos ever. think i'll revisit it

After you watch the first 30 min of the conan reboot

about 1:25

youtube.com/watch?v=UgAwvmB2r-8

That's gonna get a Based from me, user.
Redpilled too.

Did you watch the movie? Because he straightup tells Conan that this was just something he did in his stupid younger years he tries to leave behind.

He's just generally a power hungry asshole. He started out as a tribal chief, and then learned that magic and a cult got him a bigger following.

The film also takes shots at hippies ad new ages. His followers are based on them.

if conan was so smart why didn't he bring a flute to hypnotize the snake?

He was well known enough to be a wanted guest on Johnny Carson right before he started filming as he said he had started sword and horse back riding training and was growing his hair out. He had been Mister universe more than once, the Guinness books most fittest man, in the fakeumentary Pumping Iron and wrote two books on health. He was on Carson promoting his books of fitness for women

And owned a construction company

watch 15 second till they are done talking about the wall they built in 1971

youtube.com/watch?v=Msf8JMVku7Y

Arnie seems to like his bikes. Wish more fit guys were into those.

god Terry Pratchett was such a painfully cringy boomer.

Arnie is a real bros before hoes type. I read his autobiography, and he never names a single woman he dated by name until well into it. Pages on bodybuilding and exercizes, his business dealings, and women are all anonymous.

if your young and can do it any tribe under 2 miles is just as fast with a bike. I used to but I have a bad arm and verve damage to me leg

I wonder if they went back to fix it that wall, he shows it in several vids

this is also why i carry a solid wooden cane no fancy aluminum modern one

Arnie looks better at his age than your entire family ancestry looked their entire life.

>never good

To think i'd live the day contrarianism would claim Conan

Kill yourself you moron.

>the measure of a film adaptation is how closely it duplicates the original
This is you, in your idiocy.

>Carl Drogo who was prefect as the new Conan
Momo ruined two great Atlantian based characters.

Attached: Jason_momoa.jpg (242x336, 50K)

>we need an actor to play a barbarian warrior from ancient eurasia
>let's get a polynesian

I think in reality his character in Stargate shot his wife because she wanted him to stop the pot and get a haircut then he went on the run, the same thing with Larenzo Lamas on Renegade

cringe

Did you like The dead lands?
>youtu.be/HaXxVKEtlIg

There is a character known as The warrior in this movie that the main character has to seek out for help, he really makes the movie what it is.

It would need to be an unknown man with no prior acting experience that can hardly speak English who would have to be so absolutely unbelievably massive and ripped that your muscles would hurt just looking at him.